Lady M wore a gorgeous new, blue fitted Tfank dress for Big Guy’s first, historic third State of the
Campaign Union read last night:
Everything else was apparently recycled:
Big Guy’s opening was strong: he took credit for killing Osama Bin Laden and weakening the Taliban.
He even remembered to thank the small people who were really responsible:
These achievements are a testament to the courage, selflessness and teamwork of America’s Armed Forces. At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, they exceed all expectations. They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences. They focus on the mission at hand. They work together.
It was pretty much downhill from there. Because while Big Guy is all about focusing, everyone else around here seems to be consumed with “personal ambition and obsessing over their differences instead of focusing on the mission at hand.”
So anyway, BO declined to talk about the rest of our successful initiatives: lowering the cost of health care (up 18%), lowering the cost of gasoline (up 84%) lowering the cost of...well, you get the idea. Nor did he take credit for all the money we’ve pumped into alternate energy (Solyndra, et al), or for all the guns his BATF took out of circulation here in the US by sending them to Mexico. Butt I guess you can’t spend too much time bragging when there are still so many fish to fry.
So here’s a very short wrap up of the major themes from last night:
- Blame Bush: “It was wrong. It was irresponsible. And it plunged our economy into a crisis that put millions out of work, saddled us with more debt, and left innocent, hardworking Americans holding the bag. In the six months before I took office, we lost nearly 4 million jobs.” i.e. it’s really all Bush’s fault, like I’ve been telling you for 3 years now.
- Blame the rich: “Right now, because of loopholes and shelters in the tax code, a quarter of all millionaires pay lower tax rates than millions of middle-class households. Right now, Warren Buffett pays a lower tax rate than his secretary.” i.e. they need to pay their fair share. Are you listening Mitt?
- Blame Congress: “As long as I’m president, I will work with anyone in this chamber to build on this momentum. But I intend to fight obstruction with action, and I will oppose any effort to return to the very same policies that brought on this economic crisis in the first place.” i.e. I’ll end run you and do it myself if I have to. That’s what executive orders and recess appointments were created for. Can you hear me now?
- New regulation: “That’s why we need smart regulations to prevent irresponsible behavior." i.e. like buying a house you can’t afford. Or incandescent light bulbs.
- More clean energy: “Some technologies don’t pan out; some companies fail. But I will not walk away from the promise of clean energy.” i.e. I’m going to continue to spend tax dollars on the alternate-energy companies I like. And I like all of them that have bundled adequate campaign funds. And I love you, Greenies!!
- More education for all. “Higher education can’t be a luxury -– it is an economic imperative that every family in America should be able to afford.” i.e. we’ll send your kid to college no matter what his interests or abilities. Because It’s only fair. And I love you 18-30 somethings!!
- More immigration reform: “We should be working on comprehensive immigration reform right now.” i.e. I love you Hispanics!! Legal and undocumented!!
Fair this, square that, change the rules: I guess you have all heard this before. The SOTU has become somewhat of an anachronism that has outlived it’s usefulness in the age of the innertubes where everyone who cares, knows everything as soon as it happens and sometimes before.
So if we’re just going to use this soap box as a major campaign address, maybe we should bundle some sponsors and rename it: Maybe the “Goldman Sachs State of the Union Address” or the “General Motors State of the Union” or possibly even the “Berkshire Hathaway State of the un-Union”. That way we could stop pretending to be post partisan, and raise some serious dough.
Butt as it was, Big Guy’s rather ho-hum recycled
read speech had even the loyalists reacting in a bit of a “been there, done that” fashion:
…and speaking of fashion: that brings me back to Lady M and her courtesans.
While Lady M was entertaining our political guests, including Warren Buffet’s overtaxed secretary, in her box Big Guy was down working the floor. He took time out to air kiss his secretary and thank her and her team for sending in the SEALS to rescue the political hostages in Somalia last night.
Anyway, a whole 65 minute speech, and only one mention of our Winning the Future plan, and that in a rather strange context: “Don’t let other countries win the race for the future.” WTF? We Can’t Wait! How are we going to give everyone a fair shot at their fair share if we don’t Win the Future? WTF?