Back to School

NOTE: Raj reports all problems, including commenting, were related to a sitemeter system-wide problem that has now, allegedly, been corrected. He will stay on the case.

 

With all the CHANGE that’s occurred since Big Guy was first immaculated, I think it’s about time for a new, post-modern Civics test:

1.      Q.    If a leader tells you “If you like your health care, you can keep your health care,” can you?

A.    No

2.       Q.  If a leader doesn’t like the laws passed by the constitutionally empowered and democratically elected legislature, can he unilaterally decide to change them?

     A.   Apparently

3.      Q  If a leader doesn’t agree with the ruling of the Supreme Court of the land, can he unilaterally choose not to enforce that decision?

A.   Apparently

4.       Q.   What do you call a leader like that?

a)      DOTUS (dicktator of the United States)

b)      Hitler

c)      Mussolini

d)      Lenin

e)      Chavez

f)      Dear Leader

A.      All of the above

 

What is it, I wonder, about the rarified air up there that has all our civil servants sniffing around at it so often?

Sí, se puede!  My ball, my rules. Sí?

…and where did Big Guy get that nose anyway?

Because it sure isn’t the nose he rode in on.

Butt I digress.

Allow me summarize the Supreme Court decision on the Arizona immigration law: You can enforce the part that mirrors the federal law (so far so good!) butt you can’t enact any statutes that mirror those laws (boo!). Oh, and by the way; don’t expect any more “help” from Aunt Janet, you’re on your own now, little missy.

Don’t say I didn’t try to put you in your place a lot earlier.

So just grab a mop and clean up your own damn mess. The only good news for Arizona is that they are now free to hire illegal immigrants who will do the work for half the cost of out-of-work Americans.

It’s a dirty job, butt somebody’s gotta do it

That’s right, de facto amnesty, by default! I swear, I did not know that the preezy – even one who used to be a professor of constitutional law who taught the civil rights part of it - had that power. I guess one of us had better go back to school!

Impressive pro-active law circumvention! Especially considering that Big Guy’s going to have a lot more flexibility after the election. Ouch!

Anyway, this all brings to mind the age old question again about who do you want answering the phone when it rings at 3:00 A.M.? Apparently it’s a trick question; at least if you’re a citizen of the formerly sovereign state of Arizona because apparently we’re not taking your calls at all any more, regardless of the time of day.

I suppose they could try calling Hilz:

Arizona? Reject call. I haven’t decided yet if I want to be “co-pilot” or not.

Or maybe they could try calling one of Big Guy’s cool friends for help:

Yeah, probably not. Wait! I think I have a bi-partisan solution! I know someone who will take the call.

When everything else fails, ask yourself: what would Jack Bauer do?.

Well, I’ve gotta run. I’m trying to figure out how to get a refund on the 3 bucks I paid for a chance to win dinner with the Wons. I failed to read the fine print, and according to the email I received yesterday from Team-Obama’s Toby Fallsgraff, staff are not eligible.

Since staff are required “encouraged” to participate, we make up the largest group of people being fleeced contributors to the “Win a dinner with the Preezy and the Fleezy” sweepstakes pool. So if none of us are eligible, that explains what Toby meant when he told the rest of you that:

“I'm going to let you in on a secret: Your chances of winning Dinner with Barack (and Michelle) are MUCH better than you might think.”

So don’t waste any time: YOU could be the winner and have a special date night that’s this creepy much fun, as Fausta reports!

Linked By:

Clarice on JustOneMinute, and MRM on twitter, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties

As you probably noticed, we are experiencing intermittent problems with the commenting section of the posts.

Yes, I checked. We’re plugged in.

Unfortunately I do not know why, butt Raj is efforting it.

Also,unrelated to the commenting issue (I think) sitemeter is also experiencing problems. if you get a message asking you to log into your sitemeter account (whether you have one or not) just click “cancel.” This is apparently an system wide problem that THEY are efforting.

Sheeze. It’s almost like they don’t want me to blog or something.

Meanwhile, please stand by. Put your tinfoil hat on (butt stay out of the sun) and keep your eye open for the black helicopters.

That is all.

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week; off to a bad start

So, I see “Obama’s Big Week” is starting off with a rehash of last week’s mis-misinformation on our Fast and Furious operation that had nothing to do with swaying people’s opinions on guns and the Second Amendment:

h/t Ulsterman

If my history pack is accurate, the original intent of the 2nd Amendment was to protect the people not so much from each other butt from a government run amok. I don’t think either Big Guy or Ricky have done much to disabuse anyone of the utility of this concept.

What would have been a front page story in any previous (R-word) administration for months, if not decades, is likely to fall to the back page this week with all the big Supreme Court news buzzing around. The newshounds will be busy trying to figure out how to put a positive (for Big Guy) spin on the decisions. They’re already hustling to say nice things about the Arab Spring-turned-nuclear-winter scenario playing out in Egypt: alahuluhoop akbar!

So - in anticipation of his upcoming Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad week, Big Guy unwound by golfing yesterday.

It’s the only way to go

Lady M spent the weekend at her “spa” getting in shape for next month’s Olympic marathon of touring, touting, whining and dining. Which is to say, she’s having a little “touch-up” work done. After all, she’ll be travelling with Brandi-whoops-I-just-ripped-off-my-soccer-jersey-to-flash-my-sports-bra-by-mistake-Chastain.

                        

Brandi, above, at the World Cup, displaying irrational exuberance. Michelle Halpain, below exhibiting more of the same.

h/t Doug Ross

Michelle (above, not Lady M) is a volunteer with President Barack Obama's re-election campaign. She was just taking a page from the Brandi Chastain little book of female role models yesterday as she demonstrated with fellow Democrats at San Francisco's 42nd annual gay pride parade sans shirt. Another historical moment in Big Guy’s post-partisan presidency.

Butt I have more serious issues related to Lady M’s No Child’s Fat Behind program to report on too. Since pancakes are essentially the whole idea behind IHOP, and it’s pretty hard to take the sugar and fat out of this breakfast stable, they had to come up with another innovative way to earn their Obamacare waiver.

As first reported by Anonymouse, IHOP’s deal with the devil required them to take up the slack from the schools for the summer. The propaganda normally served up by teachers in the classroom will be provided this summer through the IHOP’s summer re-education and correct- think program. It’s provided free of charge, with crayons, right on your child’s placemat.

Artist’s rendition of the summer of propaganda placemat

The placemats are filled with useful every day environmental brain washing “facts” as well as healthy eating tips accompanying Lady M’s MyPlate brand of food evangelism.

So the fight is on. It’s the Obama IHOP vs. the Romney-leaning Waffle House. This is going to very political and it could get ugly.  My undercover work has revealed that IHOP also discriminates against drag queens (bad for BO), has sued the International House of Prayer for copyright infringement (good for BO), and bans legally packed heat (definitely good for BO!). Butt still, we all know how Big Guy likes to eat his waffles.

As well as his fried chicken.

So prepare yourself: It’s Battle Breakfast treats, and it’s going to be a real throw down.

 

Pretty, air-filled artificially colored pancakes vs. fresh fruit and real whipped cream waffle: the choice is yours America!

Sorry, I’ve got to run now, need to get to the bottom of the Supremes Arizona Immigration law. Unclear yet if I need to do any trans-imaging or not.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Lalaa Land on facebook, Thanks!

Spooners, Honeymooners and Swooners

I sure hope the big brained campaign squad manages to get things back under control soon. It’s getting embarrassing. First there was the dangerous situation the campaign team placed Big Guy in at the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials conference:

Luckily, our SS goons were on the ball and swooped in prior to Big Guy’s arrival and scooped up all the dangerous knives and forks that the NALEO thoughtlessly issued to conference diners. In fairness to our WTF advance team though, none of them are Mexican and who thought you needed cutlery to eat tacos and burritos anyway?

h/t BlondeGator                                          Picture courtesy BKeyser

We barely get that snafu smoothed over and along comes the Right Wing attack machine - which has appropriated the Alinsky Rules For Ridicule® for their own nefarious purposes – jumps into the Twitchy stream to make fun of our Obama Registry.

Despite all the other important world news, like the Muslim Brotherhood taking control of Egypt, people still seem to be all wee-weed up about the Registry.

 h/t MommyLife

Even some of my own MOLs find this whole thing creepy. Just look at Libby’s reaction from the other day:

“This is getting seriously creepy! What's next, portraits of Dear Leader in every business?”

             

Don’t be silly, we’ll just incorporate him into their logo

“And on billboards with inspirational messages on how to live our lives?”

No, wait – that’s not right!

OK, that’s more like it. Lady M approves.

This one hasn’t been approved yet by the Big Brains 

“Having schoolchildren sing his praises at the beginning of class?”

I’m sorry to report that the video, which allowed you to see these adorable little children singing Big Guy’s praises:

Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama
He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay

has been pulled from Youtube:

Actually, it was pulled due to the creepiness factor

of Kindergartners singing about the Lilly Ledbetter bill.

(Little Mo reports that a contraband copy is still available if you really think you can stomach it: here.)

“Ick, ick, ick!”  Well, that pretty much sums it up, Libby. Thanks for the report from the trenches.

Butt speaking of ick factors, did you get the latest email from Howdy Messina? I hate to see them come in, because everyone around here is required to fill them out or we get docked a half day’s pay. The latest was really, really long, because the big brains are getting a little panicky and are hustling around to figure out what happened to all the Obots out there.

No no! You can’t go! All the plants are going to die!

Last time around all they had to do was put out word that they needed money and boots on the ground, and the ‘bots complied. Now it’s like pulling ticks off your dog.

Hence, the survey, to find out how better to pander to our various interest groups.

I completed my survey yesterday. I’ll just share some of the more important questions with you, since the survey itself goes on and on – just like Big Guy.

Boy, I sure hope they really wanted honest answers because I already hit the SUBMIT button. Just like all the other Obots.

Just like the Egyptians. Which is another fine mess Big Guy’s gotten us into, right Allah?

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

The most arrogant man in the world invites himself to your wedding

If you believe your ideology and rhetorical skills alone can resolve a deeply ideological conflict that has been raging for millennia in the Middle East:

“After decades of accepting the world as it is in the region, we have a chance to pursue the world as it should be.”  Barack Hussein Obama

…you might just be the most arrogant man in the world.

h/t: Fausta

Butt here’s an offer that seals the deal on that honor:  the Campaign to Give the Gift that keeps Giving Website is now open for business:  The Obama Event Registry!

h/t: Weasel Zippers

It’s very simple: Do you have an event coming up between now and November 6th? You know, a wedding, birthday, anniversary, baby shower or any other gifting occasion? If you do, Big Guy is offering you the opportunity to make history by letting him occupy your gift table.

As several of you have pointed out, it’s unfortunate that we didn’t have this in place before Valjar’s daughter’s wedding last weekend. That would have produced a real haul - I heard Tony Rezco gave the newlyweds a house!

Now let’s not get all wee-weed up. Unlike greedy vulture capitalists who just want to make as much money as possible, Big Guy’s fund raisers have limited the amount you can ask your guests to contribute overall to just $1,000,000. However, I was not aware of that limit when, being a capitalist pig myself, I registered the only BIG event I have scheduled for 2012:

So I guess I’ll have to file a revised form, butt never let it be said that I don’t think BIG.

Of course all of you are invited and I HOPE you’ll be there and contribute while you still can!

I have a feeling this may be a limited-time offer

 

Anyway, in case you’re invited to a wedding this summer and the bride and groom are too selfish to set up a Big Guy registry, here’s another thoughtful wedding gift I’ve heard about: a subscription to Ancestry.com. That way your future children can avoid the embarrassment of finding out the hard way that all those old family rumors about great-great-great-great granny being a slave or an Indian princess aren’t actually true.

 

Native Indian Princess Mocohontas: Where do you think she got those high cheekbones?

Butt getting back to Big Guy’s suggestion that you give your wedding presents to him. It’s really not all that arrogant when you think about it. Because you’re really not worthy. And he is.

Still, I’m not sure this send-us-your-wedding-gifts plan is such a hot idea. I know Big Guy likes his waffles.

Just let me eat my waffle, man

Butt really, how many waffle irons can he use?

I have a bad feeling about this registry anyway. I know an awful lot of people who sent a gift for the Won’s last wedding. Butt since they don’t believe that his union with the American people was consummated in the traditional manner, they want to take their gift back for a refund, and aren’t likely to be sending a second one for another wedding. At least that’s what I hear.

Don’t do it again

Linked By: Maggie’s Notebook, and  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,  and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and @AnnieLaurie76 on twitter, and Lalaa Land on facebook, and DeniseVB on White House Dossier, Thanks!