Sunday, May 1, 2016

Keeping It Classy Around Here Since 2009

On display at last night’s White House Correspondents Dinner were all the skills that landed Barry in office in the first place: a keen ability to deliver lines written by others in a convincing manner. Which just so happens to be the #1 requirement on TheatreSchools.com top 10 qualities of a great actor:

  1. Is Captivating: A great actor is so convincing in a role that he can hold an audience captive and make them feel as if there is nothing but the story at hand.
129528_Obama-selfie

In fact, after a brief reading, I think he can check off all 10 on the list, #10 being:

10.  Has Some Sense of Vanity: A great actor has at least some degree of vanity that drives them to continue to improve and excel at the craft.

obama selfie

The guy is obviously a natural; he just missed his casting call.

Check it out for yourself, if you have the time and the fortitude. If not just trust me, despite all the hilarious material written for him about Hillary, Bernie, Ted and the Donald, this was the most hysterical line of the night, Barry, discussing his stunning final year approval numbers:

“The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.” 

Possibly because it was the only joke not aimed at someone else, and possibly because it might be true.

young bo obama stoned 1981 NY(and finally - here’s his transcript)

In fact, Barry was soooo good, he made MC Larry Wilmore – Jon Stewart’s replacement on the Daily Show in case you were wondering – look bad. Of course Larry didn’t need a lot of help; starting with this racial zinger:

"Welcome to negro night here in Washington. Or as Fox will report, two thugs interrupt elegant dinner in D.C."

And he then proceeded to call Ben Carson a “jiggaboo,” ticked CNN’s Don Lemmon off enough to get him to give him the finger - live on camera -

don lennon flipping bird giffy

and wrapped up with this send off to the Prezzie: “Yo, Barry, you did it, my nigga!” 

Yo, Barry, keeping the WHCD classy-for-the-massy, my man! Or in the immortal words of Jon Gabriel’s Tweet:

exjon_racial_healing_12-17-15

Anyway,  speaking of classy, did you see MO’s gown? A Givenchy number with hand placed crystals – can you even imagine what that must have cost!?! Not that money is an object when you’re being historical. And it was Lady M’s last ever WHDC, at least as FLOTUS.

AFP_A45N1

“As America's most stylish political leader, First Lady Michelle Obama has truly outshined herself at her final White House Correspondents' Dinner. 

Donning a shimmering champagne-colored gown with an attached overlay embellished with crystals, the 52-year-old political figure was the epitome of classic style and grace.” - E News

And not that it wasn’t worth every dime somebody paid for it, butt it was a bit derivative. Lady Bey, her girls’ role model, (sort of) wore a crystal embedded Givenchy last year:

2851955400000578-3068192-image-a-244_1430794141033

As did J-Lo:

top-10-Oscar-2015-dresses-best-2015-Oscars-dresses-Jennifer-Lopez-in-2

And arguably Jenna DeWan wore the look better than any of them – or is that some kind of a microaggresion?

Jenna Dewan

Oh well, all’s well that ends well, and Big Guy made sure the 2016 WHCD ended on a very good note. Keeping the week’s Royal dropped mic meme alive, here’s how our very cool, oh-so-hip acting president wrapped things up:

bo mic drop

As I said, our acting president: keeping it classy around here since 2009. BOOM!

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Mic Drop: Droppin’ the Boom!

Prince Harry and Lady M have a long standing relationship, which stretches way back to 2013 when she still had bangs.

gty_prince_harry_michelle_obama_jef_ss_130513_sshGetting together for tea in 2013 – ahead of Harry’s Vegas escapades

And last year they got together in Washington again to discuss plans and promote the 2016 Invictus Games – a multi-country, multi-sport event for injured or wounded military active service and veterans.

Last year Lady M took Harry to a veteran’s wheelchair basketball game; there were the usual tense moments, cheering, and  man-spreading:

michelle-obama-prince-harry-inline-7Prince Harry, I mean

The first Invictus Games were held in London in 2014. Prince Harry has been the driving force behind these games which highlight the incredible effect sport has to inspire and help the recovery of servicemen and women who have been injured while serving their country. Butt this year things spiraled a bit out of control, as the Won’s and the Windsors engaged in a little trans-Atlantic twitter trash talkin’.

Ha ha! All in good fun, for a good cause. Butt is nothing sacred anymore? The POTUS and FLOTUS challenging the House of Windsor to a throw down? Using our servicemen and women as goofy props in a trans-Atlantic mic drop?

33A847AB00000578-3565962-image-a-114_1461943506214Our Gang Leaders, with their Homies, trash talkin’ the Royals.

To quote the Queen: “Oh really? Please.”

For the throw down video Lady M choose a reasonably priced little number by Jason Wu, who also designed her first historic inaugural prom dress:

jason wu scribble dress invictus 

I don’t know why she had it modified with cap sleeves. The original looks more to Lady M’s taste: sleeveless, wide shoulder coverage, tabbed waist; cut at midriff - perfect for a boob belt. I’m assuming that the sleeves were added in deference to the Queen. Not that she’ll ever wear it again, butt if she does, put your money on losing the sleeves.

Meanwhile, we’ll be practicing our trash talk for the last Washington Nerd Prom, to take place later this evening. I’m sure it will be a blast.

HARRY-BOOM

 

NOTE: For the history of the mic drop routine - which Barry himself is credited with popularizing beyond rap culture - see here.

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, April 29, 2016

Free Day!

Since I have an early morning meeting I’m using the excuse slip UpNorthLurkin sent:

EXCUSE SLIP FROM unl

So carry on troops!

Enjoy the day, Parker, and her puppies. And don’t forget to play nice!

parkers brood

Thursday, April 28, 2016

A Retrospective On Obama’s Economic Prowess

Make no mistake: Barry is a just a little economic genius.

obama economyobama economyNew York Times Magazine Sunday May 1, 2016

Well of course he has a theory. Barry’s got a theory about everything, every one of which has been or will be proven absolutely positively wrong. Butt we won’t let that stop a good story – it’s the Old Gray Lady and you know what their motto is:

quote-the-new-york-times-long-standing-motto-all-the-news-that-s-fit-to-print-should-be-changed-thomas-sowell-141-30-98

“We were moving so fast early on that we couldn’t take victory laps. We couldn’t explain everything we were doing. I mean, one day we’re saving the banks; the next day we’re saving the auto industry; the next day we’re trying to see whether we can have some impact on the housing market.”

superman

“I mean, the truth of the matter is that if we had been able to more effectively communicate all the steps we had taken to the swing voter,” he said, “then we might have maintained a majority in the House or the Senate.”

bounder in chief No time for victory laps – butt metaphorically run through the steps we’ve taken? Why not?

Butt alas, the Dems didn’t keep the House, or the Senate. And now everyone – including the 2 remaining Democrat candidates – are running on the premise that the American economy is in the toilet and only they can fix it. Which Barry is anxious to explain to the author is just not true. You may think the deficit has gone up because he tripled the national debt while in office, butt actually it’s gone down. You may think that having 93 million Americans “not participating” in the labor market (i.e. not working) is a bad thing; butt you would be wrong because in reality Barry has reduced unemployment from 10% to 5%, even if he had to move half of them to the “non-participant” rolls.

Even Bill Clinton took a swipe at BHO last March while campaigning for Hilz:

“Millions and millions and millions and millions of people look at that pretty picture of America he painted and they cannot find themselves in it to save their lives.” People are upset, frankly; they’re anxiety-ridden, they’re disoriented, because they don’t see themselves in that picture.”

You will not be surprised to hear that Barry disagrees with the public mood he’s created.

He has, by his own lights, managed the recovery as well as any president ever could, with results that in many cases exceeded his own best hopes.

rocky-climbs-the-stairs-oThe metaphorical steps

The blame for the continuing weak economy – some would say till this day - can be blamed on several things in Barry’s mind:

  1. Barry’s reluctance to tell the country how severe the financial crisis actually was – he didn’t want to scare us and make us feel bad about being broke and unemployed.
  2. the Republicans who kept telling people how bad things were
  3. the Republicans wouldn’t let him do a big enough stimulus
  4. it was George W. Bush’s fault

With respect to #3 - the stimulus wasn’t large enough - don’t worry because Barry fixed that on his own. Because, you know, the Do Nothing Congress he was burdened with. He was forced to employ stealth tactics.

Obama has actually been able to oversee a much larger stimulus than has been typically reported. If you add up all of his administration’s classic stimulus measures, including the many tax breaks the administration extended, you get $1.4 trillion, a figure that is nearly twice the original figure. The anti-stimulus, then, was counteracted by a stealth stimulus.

Because the ends justifies the means when your legacy is at stake. The Constitution will just have to wait for a full recovery.

Most surprising detail from the interview - if he hadn’t sacrificed to become a community organizer Barry probably would have been Steve Jobs:

“If I hadn’t gone into politics and public service,” Obama told me, “the challenges of creating a business and growing a business and making it work would probably be the thing that was most interesting to me.”

My prediction? He’ll still find a way to “go into business” after he leaves office. Because rust never sleeps. And because what he finds most “interesting” about business is the outrageous executive compensation packages. Like the ones he used to bash, until he figured out how qualified he now was to land one for himself.

As they say, read the whole thing; it’s loaded with all sorts of good ideas on how to cap executive pay. Which of course won’t apply to executives formerly known as POTUS.

bo executive order“I’m not a real executive butt I do play one in the Oval Office.”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

GOP Post Primary Citrus Poll; Pick Your Juice

Man jumps off Brooklyn bridge, survives.”

A 32-year-old man jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge Tuesday morning – but miraculously survived the 135-foot plunge, authorities said.

The unidentified emotionally disturbed man walked to the middle of the iconic span’s pedestrian pathway and climbed across the Manhattan-bound roadway before leaping at around 9:15 a.m., cops said. – NY Post

I thought at first this was a story about Kasich. It wasn’t, the man wasn’t even a politician. Butt I have some advice for John: if you eat pizza with a fork and pickles with your pinkie extended, it’s time to call it quits.

pickles with pinkie

Other than that, I can’t muster a whit of interest in yesterday’s primaries. It feels too much like watching a golf tournament on TV; Whack! Plop. Roll. Repeat. At the end of the game someone adds up the scores, declares a winner and everyone goes out for a burger and a beer.

Meanwhile, The Tangerine Tornado (h/t Politico)

donald-trump-fired_png

and The Citron Cyclone®

citron cyclone

keep winning everything despite persistent rumors of their respective, impending collapses. We are a perverse nation.

And while I understand some people are capable of making lemonade if life hands them a lemon, others are not nearly as talented or imaginative.

5drying-lemon peel-and-pulpProgressives - and the winning entry in their “lemon challenge”

Others would be wise to remember what happened the last time we were handed a lemon in the general:

Obama Lemon

There intentions were to make lemonade,

lemonade-pitcher

butt someone forgot to juice the lemon, buy the sugar, find a pitcher, pour the water, get the ice and stir it up. So instead we got…well, an old dried up lemon that should have been put out in the garbage years ago.

 

lemonpeel-dried

 

Say - that Tangerine Tornado option is beginning to look a little better every day.

 

tangerine-elephants-for-olivia-r-4b-amanda-h-4a

THIS POST WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CUTIES TANGERINE JUICE COUNCIL, MAKERS OF DELICIOUS NON-LEMON BASED CITRUS DRINKS

JuiceHero-385x550-MangoPassionfruit-385x550

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Virtual Reality: Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here

 

hipster obama merkelBarry and Angie, as virtual hipsters by Amit Shimoni

If ever there were two world leaders who did not require assistance to live in a world of virtual reality it would be these two:

EPA_obama_merkel_vr_01_mm_160425_16x9_992My! What big eyes you have! And ears.

As if Mr. Big Ears needs any further props to make himself look goofier. Let’s hear no more from him about Republican candidates being “non-serious.”

Butt back to Barry and Angie: neither of them have been able to see the actual hand in front of their face since implementing their respective de facto open border policies.

losing  opening handLosers

Angie opened Germany, and hence Europe, to the gates of hell when she welcomed millions of Middle East “refugees” to immigrate across now open borders. Barry did the same with his de facto backdoor amnesty program on our southern, now open, border. He’s creating a virtual North American Union while Angie has turned the European Union into the virtual Middle East European Union.

So no surprise when we heard that Our Man in Berlin praised Germany’s Chancellor for the Ages as being on “the right side of history” with her open-border refugee policy.

brussels parisHistory, rewritten

In a virtual world this would all turn out well, because…good intentions! Unfortunately in Realsville odds are not nearly as good.

Abandon-Hope

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, April 25, 2016

It’s Getting Hard Out There For the Infidels

I knew it! Civil Rights do indeed trump (no pun or endorsement intended) religious freedom! So unless your religion also qualifies as a bona fide minority don’t expect much protection from the Bill of Rights any more.

In a rare entrance into a politically charged controversy, first lady Michelle Obama used a commencement speech Saturday at Jackson State University in Mississippi to directly target the state’s recently-passed "religious freedom" bill.

ap_michelle_obama_jackson ms

"We see it right here in Mississippi -- just two weeks ago -– how swiftly progress can hurtle backward," Obama said. "How easy it is to single out a small group and marginalize them because of who they are or who they love."

"So we've got to stand side by side with all our neighbors –- straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender; Muslim, Jew, Christian, Hindu immigrant, Native American -- because the march for civil rights isn't just about African Americans, it's about all Americans."

So given that the Muslim religion of peace is also a minority in America (so far) we need to make accommodations for them, butt not for the Little Sisters of the PoorIn the old America the Little Sisters of the Poor would never have been required to submit to Obamacare's contraceptive mandate. And they wouldn’t have had to go all the way to the Supreme Court in order to be “accommodated for their religious beliefs.”

And they certainly wouldn’t have been subject to the line of questioning their attorneys got last month from Justice Sotomayor:

“Because every believer that’s ever come before us, including the people in the military, are saying that my soul will be damned in some way,” said Sotomayor. “I’m not naysaying that that is a very substantial perceived personal burden by them. But if that’s always going to be substantial, how will we ever have a government that functions? How will we ever have anything that the government can demand people do in objecting…that won’t be a problem?” CNS News

Or to paraphrase, “How can the government function if it can’t make people do things they believe will damn their eternal souls?”

102-Big-Picture

So then, minority religion requires accommodation:

No-Pork-718x300

Butt mainstream religion – sorry, you are subject to government regulation. Because, you know - “How can the government function if it can’t make people do things they believe will damn their eternal souls?”

hhs

One can only imagine how this court case might have gone had Justice Scalia not passed on to eternal life before it was heard. As it is even the liberal Justices know this is a hot potato they don’t want to handle. Thus, they asked the government and petitioners to cobble together a compromise; “Specifically, the Court ordered both parties to submit supplemental briefs offering a less religiously restrictive alternative to the contraception mandate.”

So I guess the intersection of church and state isn’t black and white anymore. Because that’s a microaggresion. Or something.

church and state street

It’s getting hard out there for the infidels.

calvin religious

Because we’ve fundamentally transformed America, like it or not.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, April 24, 2016

Obama’s Amerika: inciting half-assed revolutions around the world since 2009

Is the White House going to release the super secret 9/11 report? Does it implicate Saudi Arabia? Does it implicate the Saudi Royal Family itself? Would releasing the report destabilize the Middle East even more than it already is?

Let’s answer these questions backwards, beginning with the last and moving to the first: as soon as you have the answer yell “Bingo!” or, if you’d prefer, “BOZO!”.

1. Would releasing the report destabilize the Middle East even more than it already is?

Are you kidding? As we’ve seen for the last 7 years it doesn’t really take that much to destabilize an unstable region, and Barry seems dedicated to that end. Announce you’re pulling American troops out of Iraq, assist the “rebels” in dispatching their current heads-of-state regardless of what will move in to fill the vacuum, stoke the fires of discontentment amidst the economic have-nots of the dessert world, arm the “rebels” with advanced American weaponry to “even the playing field” - and you’ve got yourself a world class revolution!

 

middle east revolutionState Department: now developing policy based on local revolutionary directives.

2. Will it implicate the Saudi Royal Family?

Let’s answer that question with a question: What Muslim-related terrorism does not implicate the House of Saud?

 

isis saudi wahhabism

ISIS, the extremist Sunni terror organization, and the House of Saud share allegiance to the same extremist Wahhabi sect, a theo-fascistic religion of peace that is marked by a disdain for human rights (women, LGBTQIA and infidels of all ilk) and enforces its intolerance with barbaric punishments.

3. Does it implicate Saudi Arabia?

See answer to Number 2, above.

4. Is the White House going to release the super secret 9/11 report?

Will it make George Bush (41 and 43) look bad? Yes. Will it further destabilize the region? Yes. Will it further destabilize the U.S.? Yes.

Any more questions?

In this instance past performance is indicative of future results.

 

egypt and ferguson revolution

From Tahir Square to Ferguson: stoking the flames of revolution and unrest wherever it can be found.

revolution half assed backwards

Obama’s Amerika: inciting half-assed revolutions around the world since 2009

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