Tuesday, February 9, 2016

That Old Horndog Is Still In the Hunt

brawny man1

Why is the lumberjack stumping for Hillary in the north woods of New Hampshire? I know that sounds like the lead-in to a joke, butt no, seriously: why?

bill lumberjackCan I get me a hunting license here?

Is this another Clinton quid pro quo? “I’ll stump for you in New Hampshire,

lumberjack hillary

and then you’ll stump for me, Brawny Lad. Got it?

89139216

Butt this goes beyond even the normal Clinton pandering. And it doesn’t work well for several reasons:

 1. The Lumberjack’s association with Babe, the Blue Ox

blue ox

2. The lumberjack plaid: it’s already been appropriated by another minority group.

PajamaBoy02

3. As well as sluts…

kardashian

4. And it’s clearly a micro-aggression:

Brawny_cv

Which brings me to the biggest fail of this pandering effort of all: when you’ve earned, and I do mean earned, the title “Slick Willy”

Cowboy_Bill_Clinton-759240You old horndog you

…you do not want to be associated with anything that might bring the phrase “the slicker picker upper” to mind.

That’s just my take on it, you of course are free to love whoever you want in today’s New Hampshire primary.

SPECIAL PROGRAMMING NOTE: don’t forget: today is Fat Tuesday, aka Paczki Day (improbably pronounced “poonch-key”)!

paczki-2

So savor your custard and jelly filled paczkis as Lent begins tomorrow - which is God’s way of giving you a second chance for your New Year’s resolutions.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, February 8, 2016

Fundamentally Transforming the Super Bowl

Yes, I watched the Super Bowl start to finish. I had no dog in the fight butt was rooting for the Broncos, against all odds, just because I’d like to see Peyton hang up his cleats before he breaks his neck again. So yay! I’m happy; apologies to all the Panther fans out there.

A few random observations on the annual pre-Mardi Gras American Bacchanalia:

  • I did not see one - not one - commercial worthy of mention. What has happened to America’s creative class? Are all the copywriters members of the disaffected Millennial generation? Most of the spots were supposed to be funny butt fell short, some by an inch others by a mile IMO. Perhaps the 7 years of Obama has sucked every last speck of joy out of life. I don’t know, I’m just asking. And who paid for all those whiny public service announcements? Pretty expensive spots to remind us that we should save evergy, not waste water or drive drunk.
  • The half-time show stunk; nothing new there, butt this year’s was particularily stinky. Coldplay, Bruno Mars and…Bey
  • Behold Lady M’s concept of a great role model for girls, the ever skanky, always slutty Beyonce. This time she also threw in a political statement for good measure: Black Panther formation, Malcolm X tribute and BLM references. You just go girl.

bey6

  • On an upbeat note: Lady Gaga delivered an outstanding version of our national anthem. And she was even clothed appropriately, considering we’re talking Lady Gaga. Ignore the red glitter eye shadow. Although with pipes like hers you would think she could just sing without turning herself into a human meat market. Then what do I know about show business?

NOTE: the NFL has apparently decided to block the patriotic part of their show for blogger use, so you’ll need to click YouTube to view.

I’m sure this is just a coincidence butt all 4 Super Bowl halftime performers are FOO (friends of Obama); Coldplay even featured BO singing Amazing Grace on one of their albums.

Bruno Mars (rumored to be gay butt I guess he hasn’t officially come out of the closet) performed with the Won’s at a Fourth of July party.

bruno-mars-flotus-potusKiss, kiss, just like I do with my gay boy

Beyonce has been to the White House almost as frequently as Al Sharpton:

Link-Time-Beyonce-Jay-Z-White-House

And Lady Gaga performed  there (with Tony Bennett) at the 2013 inaugeral after-party.

lady-gaga-white-house-tony-bennett

I confess, I’ve not always been a Peyton Manning fan, although I don’t even remember why now. Butt I’m glad he and his team won. Sometimes, even if you don’t like the star of the team right upfront, they grow on you over time and one day you wake up and find yourself cheering for them. Maybe it’s because their toughness and tenancity just makes you believe that America can be great again.

TRUMP-make-america-great-again_5932

Of course I could be wrong; I suppose Bernie and Beyonce could make America great again too.

42-77055147

black power salute beyYou go girls!

Butt nah, I don’t really think so.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, February 7, 2016

GOP Debate Open Thread Sunday: Where The Boys Are

Let’s just do an open thread.

saturday_night_gop_banner_2-5-16-1_sized-770x415xc

Who do you think won last night’s debate?

Did the GOPe take Rubio down? Or was it of his own doing, with a little help from Christie? (“There it is”)

Who is Christie taking lessons from?

christie trump

Was it Jeb!s last stand? (“I could drop my pants,” [Jeb] said in an interview. “Moon the whole crowd. Everybody would be aghast, except the press guys would never notice.”)

Why did ABC leave Dr. Carson behind? Is it because he is black?

Why did ABC leave Carly behind? Is it because she is a woman?

Who invited the anti-Trump fan club?

Who the heck is John Kasick and why does he keep showing up at these debates? (“I ought to be running in a Democrat primary.”)

Did Cruz win by default?cruz

Did I mention Rubio's Stump Speech Automator™  got stuck? (H/T Vodka Pundit)

rubio5

“And let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

UPDATE: Glori Steinem knows where the girls are; they’re lookin’ for the boys. How Progressive!

Have at it.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

 

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Dancing The Aerostars Into the History Books

I’m pretty sure you’ve seen the Dancing Queens by now:

I can’t identify all of them butt I do recognize the burgundy one as the esteemed Madame Senator from Michigan, Debbie Stabenow.

hqdefault

If any of you can identify the rest of the Aerostars on stage with Hilz, please do. For clarity, kindly do so by color:

THESE ARE THE AEROSTARS:

aerostar finalBlack, Gray, Blue, Light Blue, Burgundy, Medium Blue, Pink

THIS IS HILLARY (ROYAL BLUE), DANCING WITH THE AEROSTARS:

Frank-The-Tank

CAUTION: HARD LANDING AHEAD

FOOTNOTES: (Wikipedia)

The Ford Aerostar is a minivan that was manufactured and marketed by Ford for the 1986 to 1997 model years in the United States and Canada.

clinton_inauguration_1993_ap_1358621610371_357159_ver1_0_640_480

At Ford, development of a minivan began life in the early 1970s.

Hillary Clinton (7)

as a companion model to the Econoline full-size van.

70'S

With a drag coefficient of Cd=0.37, the Aerostar was one of the sleekest vehicles designed by Ford

Hillary-gets-an-eyeful-of-Christina-Aguileras-breastsWHAT WAS THAT DRAG COEFFICIENT AGAIN?

Dubbed Carousel, the vehicle was given a lower roofline and a rear body surrounded by glass.

20120913_glass_ceilingJUST ANOTHER GLASS CEILING TO BREAK

The Aerostar was produced in both passenger and cargo van bodies in two body lengths and it was available with both rear-wheel drive and all-wheel drive powertrains

HILLARY PLAIDREAR-WHEEL DRIVE, ALL-WHEEL DRIVE; TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE

The energy crises of the late 1970s made fuel economy a high priority of vehicle design. To lower weight, the new minivan would use plastic in the bumpers, fuel tank, rear door, and hood with aluminum used for the driveshafts, axles, and wheels.

60ot0122rewindclinton1296463783640x360I HAVE ONE WORD FOR YOU SON: “PLASTICS”

A total of 2,029,577 Aerostars were produced from 1985 to 1997. All production was sourced from the St. Louis Assembly Plant in Hazelwood, Missouri; this facility was closed in 2006.

I don’t envy the person assigned to inform the Clintons that the era of the minivan was over as of 2000.

quote-the-clinton-era-is-over-i-think-that-there-would-even-have-been-a-certain-amount-of-tucker-carlson-97-98-43

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, February 5, 2016

A Note to Bernie’s Millenials: Be Sure To Read the Fine Print

Note: you may have to embiggen the text to read the tiny print. Apologies, butt then again, it’s not supposed to be easy to read the fine print.

Poor old over-the-Hilz, not only did she get schlonged again by Bernie last night, butt she continues to bleed millennial voters:

According to entrance polls, Sanders received 84 percent of the vote from those 17 to 29 years old, as against 14 percent for Clinton. – New Republic

It’s easy to see why Hillary – old, white, shrill harpy – is not attractive to Millennials. The more interesting question is why Bernie is so attractive to this demographic. I think it can be simply explained by reviewing  the series of Liberty Mutual commercials aimed at the same demographic. I’ve attempted to summarize the message LM is attempting to convey beneath each video.

New Car Replacement: Don’t they know you’re already shaken up?

.

There I was just texting my mom when out of nowhere this other car jumps in front of me, ruining my whole day. Then I find out my cheap basic insurance doesn’t cover complete replacement value? That is so NOT FAIR either!!  If you just pay LM a higher “New Car Replacement premium” we’ll be happy to replace the car you totaled. (NOTE TO MILLENNIALS: in most applications  “plus depreciation” will be a negative number.)

Better Car Replacement: Money can buy you love.

;

LM understands how attached you get to inanimate objects and how upset you’ll be when they no longer work. So if you just pay them a higher “Better Replacement” premium, they’ll replace your old stuff with something even better when it breaks.  And you won’t even have to go through the trouble of putting the money in the bank yourself! How fair is that!!? 

Accident forgiveness: Your insurance company raises your rates after you caused an accident? Who does that?

You spend a lot of time doing internet research before you buy a car so you deserve a gold star, right? Then you find out there are still consequences in the form of a higher premium when you run into a tree while texting mom; that is so unfair!! Just pay LM a higher “Accident Forgiveness” premium and they won’t raise your rates - that’s fair, right?

Deductible Fund? “Deductible” – whats that?

I paid my insurance premiums on time and therefore deserve a gold star. Instead, I run off the road while texting Brad and wreck my car and you expect ME to pay a deductible!? That’s so UNFAIR!!! If you pay LM a higher “Deductible Fund” premium, they will just-a-waive your deductible – and again, you don’t even have to go to the trouble of putting it in your own bank account. How fair is that!!?

So you see, Bernie appeals to Millennials exactly the same way the Liberty Mutual ads do. He promises you a lot of free stuff butt doesn’t even do as good of a job explaining  that you are actually going to be charged for the “freebies.” Maybe the FTC should impose a Truth In Advertising law on politicians as well as commercials. In the mean time you would be well advised to read the small print.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Why You’re No Longer Allowed to Culturally Appropriate the Global Economy

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

Add to the growing list of things whitey can no longer do: wear toe rings. 

Lovely-toe-rings-designs-ideas-for-bridals-2 No, just no.

That’s right ladies (and men, if so inclined) – toe rings have been nixed for your use if you are not from Southeast Asia, nor can you wear “slave earrings” if you have not descended from, well you know, slaves.

082311-fashion-vogue-italia-slave-story-apology.jpgBLM: Black Lobs, Mainly

Why? Because they are a form of cultural appropriation which for some odd reason is not politically correct in the 21st century. In noting this latest ban on all thingss culturally appropriated, Ed Driscoll suggests it may not be okay for minorities such as Barack Obama and Al Sharpton to wear Savile Row-inspired business suits either. Although I note they haven’t always been committed to this Western appropriantion:

Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don't know where I am goin' to
Silk suit, black tie
I don't need a reason why

Screen Capture #107

Gold watch, diamond ring
I ain't missin' not a single thing
And cufflinks, stick pin
When I step out I'm gonna do you in

evolution of sharpton

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

All of which led me to wonder how far this new cultural appropriation ban will go. Does it mean that African Americans can no longer drive BMWs?

bmw

Chinese can’t own Mercedes?

chinese mercedes

Kobe Brynt can no longer look sharp in Armani?

Kobe-Bryant-in-GQ-7

And Americans aren’t allowed to enjoy a fine French Bordeaux?

CONTPHOTO_frenchtraitsNumber1NEW2

What kind of a world is it anyway if Americans can’t eat tacos or sushi, Asians aren’t allowed to eat corn on the cob or hot dogs,

kobayashi-hotdogsSorry, Kobayashi, no more Nathan’s hot dog eating championships for you

Germans can’t drink Guinness, and Hispanics are banned from enjoying blinis, caviar and frozen Stoli at the Russian Tea Room?

3russiantearoomnewerFor JettiG, although I’m not sure she would be allowed there anymore

I’m beginning to think this whole global economy thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Oh well, enjoy the video anyway.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

“Obviously You Don’t Know Much About Adventures.”

e4f37c_3d325ff93f964487a2ca4199caa54440 - Copy - Copy

“Destiny guides our fortunes more favorably than we could have expected. Look there, Sancho Panza, my friend, and see those thirty or so wild giants, with whom I intend to do battle and kill each and all of them, so with their stolen booty we can begin to enrich ourselves. This is nobel, righteous warfare, for it is wonderfully useful to God to have such an evil race wiped from the face of the earth."
"What giants?" Asked Sancho Panza.
"The ones you can see over there," answered his master, "with the huge arms, some of which are very nearly two leagues long."
"Now look, your grace," said Sancho, "what you see over there aren't giants, but windmills, and what seems to be arms are just their sails, that go around in the wind and turn the millstone."
"Obviously," replied Don Quijote, "you don't know much about adventures.”
  ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

I don’t know whether to file this story under “War on Women” or “Equal Pay For Equal Work,” what do you think?

2 Generals Say Women Should Register for Draft.

Two senior military leaders said Tuesday that women should be required to register for the draft now that the Pentagon had opened all combat roles to them.

Although the move would be largely symbolic — the draft has not been used since the Vietnam War — it would represent another step in the military’s shift toward viewing men and women as equals.

And so we may get to examine the reality behind the magical mythical slogans. Should we one day get serious about wiping out Islamic Fascism – say after Iran launches several nukes around the world -and Congress reinstates the draft, it will now include women.That will certainly put divesity to the test won’t it? Men and women as ISIS prisoners of war. Nothing tests a great progressive idea like running it up against the standards of barbarians.

Meanwhile the White House continues to tilt at the windmills of the gender wage gap by establishing new rules to help employers prove the mythical gender wage gap:

The gender wage gap is due mostly to the choices women make in their careers and family lives, not to discrimination. Yet the myth persists that women earn 78 cents to the dollar that men earn for doing the exact same job.

On Friday, President Obama announced a new regulation that would force employers to “collect summary pay data by gender, race and ethnicity from businesses with 100 or more employees.”

dilbert gender wage gap

New Rules

Because even though the discrepancy is due mostly to the choices women make, why not set about trying to prove that it’s all about discrimination?

Never mind that this myth has been disproven more times than global warming.

don Quixote windmills Come to think of it global warming and the gender pay gap are pretty much the same thing.

So, as usual, if the facts don’t bear out your argument you change the facts not the argument.

The gender wage gap myth persists mostly because it is an easy talking point for Democrats looking to foment anger and resentment between men and women. But it also persists because the data behind the gap make apples and oranges comparisons between the careers and hours of men and women. The data do not compare “equal pay for equal work,” as Democrats claim. The White House knows this, yet continues to demonize employers and victimize women.

So don’t stop believing, we’ve still got to elect our FIRST WOMAN president you know.

DEM 2016 ClintonOh yeah baby, I think I’m going to harf too.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

On, New Hampshire!

Unless you’re a pollster I don’t think there’s any reason to slit your wrists over the Republican cauci results.

Cruz: 28%

Trump: 24%

Rubio: 23%

 

 

Congrats Ted, glad you won butt please clean up your act; we’re tired of smear campaigns and are looking for less, not more, politics-as-usual. And that victory speech: you earned it butt oy! Too long, let’s work on that.

The Donald is the only one of the three who didn’t give a victory speech last night. At least he was gratious in his second place placement, and  while he didn’t actually say anything other than he loved Iowa and was going to buy a farm there, it was blessedly short.

 

 

 

farm

Trump Farm Field Iowa City, Iowa

 

I’m sure he was disappointed to find out that retail politics and organization still matter and that without them a yuge turnout cannot be counted on. So I’d suggest he get some more apprentices out and about to spread the word. Also maybe ratchet down the theatrics and stick to attacking the enemies of America not the enemies of The Donald. Stick with the Make America Great Again meme; as they say in politics, it resonates.

And Marco: you would have thought he won the whole thing: (caution R-rated language)

 

 

 

And as for the Dems: what could be more fitting for the party that wants everyone to have a fair shot at paying their fair share than determining the results of the votes by a toss of the coin?

flip it

Flip it, flip it good!

What could even the playing field better than that? Who would’ve guessed that Hillary would have won all 6 tosses?

Not that it matters who won when it comes down to a choice between an over-the-Hill broad who lies about everything and a crazy old dude whose best days ended at Woodstock.

 

sanders

 

Clinton: 50%

Sanders: 50%

Still, nobody does fair better than the Democrats.

 

hillary feels the bern

Hilz having a Howard Dean moment, Bernie having a Black Power moment

On, New Hampshire!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network