Saturday, December 7, 2019

I Am the Walrus

America remembers:


America will always have enemies. They hate us because of who we are.

It’s a pity that now days half our enemies dwell right in our midst. It doesn’t help any that they are clowns.

View image on Twitter

When you can call the outcome, unequivocally, before the battle-royale even begins you know it’s rigged. Just like VSGPDJT has been saying from the start.

If you’re not in the club you will be the club-ee. And the clubbers are very good at it.

Image result for clubbing baby seals meme

I don’t think they’ve had to deal with a walrus yet however.

Image result for trumpI am the walrus, koo koo kachoo.

Friday, December 6, 2019

For Republicans There Is No End of the Day

Elections have consequences, and at the end of the day, I won.” – President Obama to House Republican Whip Eric Cantor, January 23, 2009.

Ever wonder why “ELECTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES” only when the Democrats win?

Two words:

Sore losers. Remember the Democrats live by a sacred motto:

For Republicans there is no end of the day.

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Welcome to Little Jerry’s Airing of Grievances

Image result for festivus

Far be it from me to criticize a person based solely on their looks but have you ever seen 3 such goofy looking academics in your life?

Like I said though, it’s not just their mugs. If central casting called for 3 pompous, supercilious professors with daddy issues, here’s your final cut. They landed the lead roles in the yesterday’s retelling of the Festivus story - brought to you by Little Jerry’s Deli.

In the original version Festivus is celebrated on December 23, begins with the raising of the aluminum Festivus pole, followed by a nice meatloaf dinner and only then do you get into the airing of grievances and the feats of strength. Like everything else with the Democrats these days though,  they have it half-ass backwards,

"At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year."

and began their festivities with the airing of grievances – totally out of order.

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But man oh man, did we hear their grievances! First from Michael Gerhart, who looks disturbingly like my dentist.

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And Noah Feldman

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who looks (and sounds) disturbingly like Harold Krenshaw, Adrian Monk’s neurotic nemesis:

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Then of course there is Professor Pam Karlan who looks disturbingly like every smug, opinionated, angry harridan you’ve ever had the misfortune of running across.

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Image result for pamela karlan supporter of warren and hillary clintonYIKES! Professor Pam in 2017 American Constitution Society panel discussion explaining that she hates Trump more than you do.

And how about these two dour spectators spotted at the impeachment hearings? I’m willing to bet my last corned beef sandwich they aren’t there to support our President. Odd what these humorless members of the resistance do for fun isn’t it?

Image result for impeachment hearingsMembers of the audience use binoculars while attending an impeachment hearing where constitutional scholars…testified before the House Judiciary Committee. – Mercury News

I certainly hope the Dems enjoy the rest of the upcoming Festivus traditions:

The planting of the pole:

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and the Feats of Strength.

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Image result for trump as rocky photoWho’s your Daddy?

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Paper Beats Rocks

Well, it’s finally here - the day that every PBS, NPR, CNN, MsNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC, NYT, WaPo and LATimes journ0list has been salivating in Pavlovian anticipation is here. Fatty Nadler kicks off his episode of the Schiff Show. He will begin by presenting 4 constitutional law experts, 3 Democrat choices and one Republican selection, Jonathan Turley who is not exactly a PDJT supporter but has at least been honest about impeachment sham.

As for the Democrats’ choice I only know about the first 2: David Hogg, preeminent constitutional scholar who specializes in the 2nd Amendment.

Unfortunately he doesn’t have a grasp on one of the basic principles and strengths of the Constitution:

Image result for david hogg constitutional paper beats rock

The next Constitutional expert makes Uncle Jerry’s third witness irrelevant as. The star witness will blow out all the stops.

He came to Washington to fix those flaws by fundamentally transforming America. Sure, his colleagues at the University of Chicago Law School where he “taught Constitutional law” called him “lazy, stupid and unqualified.” Those qualities apparently made him an ideal presidential candidate, well that and the fact he was black. Or in the inimitable words of Joey Biden he was “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man.”

And as we all know, in the fatuous world of progressives that is all that counts.

Obama: the man who proved you need not actually know the Constitution in order to destroy the Constitution. Let’s get this party started.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Bring Back the #HeathrowBears

In honor of President Trump’s trip to London, and because there’s only 22 shopping days till Christmas, I give you last year’s Heathrow Bears “advert” as the Brits call them.

Heathrow Christmas advert 2018

In it we see the homesick couple, Edward and Doris Bair returning to London, and their family, from their retirement home in Florida when they realize that sunshine isn’t everything. We see them arriving at Heathrow, where they met and their romance began 50 years ago.

2017 Heathrow Christmas advert

Why Europe’s busiest airport that operates at near capacity needs an “advert” at all is unclear to me, but then I don’t understand Democratic Socialism either. However if you’re going to advertise to your nearly captive audience The Heathrow Bears is certainly the way to go.

So naturally they killed the campaign this year. That’s right, the Bairs won’t be back for this year’s Christmas advert – and I note, they still boldly used the word “Christmas” in the adverts. Perhaps that’s why they’ve been banished.

For your enjoyment, here is Heathrow’s 2018 offering. You will see why millions of Brits were disappointed on hearing they won’t be back this year.

Those darned Brits, you simply can’t trust them to not muck up a good thing.

Monday, December 2, 2019

Only 23 Shopping Days Till Christmas

Asche Schow has a thread on commercials she hates. this is one of them:

I knew a woman like that once. Doesn’t everyone?

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Don’t be that woman. Or that guy.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Who Was It That Called Journalists “Useful Idiots”

Image result for washington postAnd they should know

There’s so much out there that I occasionally lose track of some of my favorites, like Daniel Greenfield. This is his latest from Frontpage Magazine: WASHINGTON POST: AMERICANS BELIEVING THE MEDIA IS A “PATRIOTIC”* DUTY:

Margaret Sullivan has been melting down for a while. But this meltdown, as the public backs further away from impeachment, is truly glorious.

“I don’t know what to believe’ is an unpatriotic cop-out. Do better, Americans.” – Washington Post

We’re in Bertolt Brecht territory here. Time to replace the people with a people the media approve of. Open borders for everyone.

More from Sullivan:

If every American did any two of the following things, the “who knows?” club could be swiftly disbanded. Subscribe to a national newspaper and go beyond the headlines into the substance of the main articles; subscribe to your local newspaper and read it thoroughly — in print, if possible; watch the top of “PBS NewsHour” every night; watch the first 15 minutes of the half-hour broadcast nightly news; tune in to a public-radio news broadcast;…

If you’re pressed for time because you just realized there’s only 24 days (that’s just a smidge over 3 weeks!) till Christmas I’ll cut right to the chase: Margaret Sullivan thinks it’s your patriotic duty to accept and internalize without question the agitprop that she and her ilk churn out. And she gets mad at you when you don’t.

First, the media barrages the public with hysterical clickbait. And then whines when the inevitable apathy sets in.

"How dare you ignore me when I keep screaming at you?"

Kind of reminds me of someone…oh yeah:

How dare you!?

Saturday, November 30, 2019

The Vagary of Gravery

With the Thanksgiving feast and Black Friday behind us and the weekend still stretching ahead I’d like to take the opportunity to relay one last holiday food disaster story.

I should begin by explaining that I come from a long line of women who have pulled off Thanksgiving cooking capers worthy of anyone’s holiday blooper reel.

I could go back for untold generations but my personal knowledge of this familial gene begins sometime in the late 50s with my Grandmother. She was mashing the Thanksgiving potatoes and inadvertently used eggnog instead of milk. It’s one of those rare clear memories I have from childhood: the look on her face the moment she realized what she had just done – shock - followed immediately by convulsing laughter as she tried to explain to my mother and two aunts what she had done. When the three sisters finally comprehended her explanation they too collapsed into the giggles. After stirring in a bit more salt and butter they were piled  high in a bowl as there was no time, or potatoes, for a do-over. I don’t remember how they tasted but I do savor the memory of the story.  The error was masked with copious amounts of gravy, everybody’s favorite Thanksgiving food group.

Image result for vats of turkey gravy

You can imagine my surprise when, over a half century later, I discovered that  somebody actually had a recipe for this potato dish:

St. Anthony's Eggnog Mashed PotatoesSt. Anthony’s Eggnog Mashed Potatoes: 60 years later the Internet proves again there’s nothing new under the sun

Then there was the time in the 60’s when my mother stuffed her 20 lb. turkey with her famous dressing. (side note: it was not only acceptable to put the ‘stuffing’ inside the bird way back then, it was expected – the food police didn’t arrive on the scene with their horror stories of e-coli poisoning until sometime in the late 70s. However even then cooks across the land were admonished to never, ever stuff the bird the night before due to pathogens lurking in the fowl cavity. Hence all the 5:30 AM kitchen capers.) But back to my story: she popped that behemoth in the oven and cooked it for hours. Checking in around the half way mark she noted it was browning rather quickly, basted it and popped it back in. At the next basting, now 3/4 of the way through the cooking time, it was REALLY browned.

It was at this point that my mother discovered that instead of hitting the “oven” button after setting the temperature she hit the BROIL setting.

Related image Nice try with grapes and currents: nobody will notice that the turkey has lost its white privilege

Dinner was delayed that year, as the turkey bottom was allowed to catch up a bit with the turkey top, and the meat was a bit dryer than usual. The error was masked by copious amounts of gravy.

So you can see why every girl in my family was trained in the art of making copious amounts of gravy, as you never knew when it would be required. This proved to be a valuable skill that came in quite handy when we started spending Christmas at my in-laws. Mind you, this was a family of 9 children that over time expanded exponentially with spouses and grandchildren along with an ever changing band of other odd – in both senses of the word – blood relatives, non-blood relatives of relatives and strays with nowhere else to go. I’ve mentioned frequently that my MIL was a saint and this was just one of the reasons. Her normal holiday headcount was between 35-45. But for all her good points, and they were many, cooking was not her strongest suit. And her mother had clearly failed in teaching her how to make enough gravy for an entire battalion. What gravy she made was first rate but there was simply never enough. It always ran out long before the masses had all been fed.

And that’s how I came to be known as the Gravy Queen. I don’t remember when I was first brave enough to volunteer to take over gravy detail but it was decades ago and I’ve been at it every Christmas since. I used to make it right in the humongous turkey roaster that my MIL cooked her giant turkey in.

A vintage Magnalite special covered roasting pan

Now days SIL uses the same pan but rests the bird on a bed of carrots, celery and onions, so the roasting juices need to be strained before the gravy making can commence. I pulled out the old pasta strainer from its normal storage spot among the multitude of assorted pans in the cupboard of the old homestead, now occupied by BIL and his wife. It was already nestled in a large pan so I placed both of them in the sink, to prevent splatters, and proceeded as usual to strain the drippings. Imagine my horror upon discovering that the “pan” under the strainer was actually…another larger pasta strainer. Nothing is ever as it seems in the second generation Raj household. I should know that by now.

Despite having just poured all the precious bodily fluids down the drain, all I could do was laugh, which set off my sisters-in-law and a couple of assorted nieces who were also in the kitchen. It was Thanksgiving déja vu.

But what to do now? Gravy, the great equalizer, appeared to be in jeopardy. Not to worry, the Gravy Queen will not let you down. Two sticks of butter, 3 boxes of Swanson’s chicken broth (low sodium, because it’s better) extra salt and pepper, the standard flour/water slurry (because roux is far too complicated for gravy in quantity)

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whisk, whisk whisk, add juices from the resting bird and we had ourselves a big hunkin’ vat of gravy. Disaster averted.  Not as good as usual but pretty darned good if I do say so. And the hoards all agreed.

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So what have learned?

Neither the turkey nor the potatoes are the key ingredient.

Barry, bagging potatoes for the homeless, Thanksgiving 2018

Take the gravy away and you’ve not nuthin’.

Image result for trump in afghanistan serving thanksgiving dinnerVSGPDJT serving up the gravy to our troops in Afghanistan, Thanksgiving, 2019