Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween: Boo Hiss

halloween ghost potatoes

I’m leaving you to your own devices today as I’m going to be very busy. In addition to preparations for the annual Big White Halloween “Trick or Treat” fest, I’m hosting an after-party for my friends. I’ll be making my famous Choucroute Garni – a wonderful Octoberfest meal packed with sauerkraut and all things pork.

choucroute_alsacienne

It sounds German butt is actually a French wine harvest dish from Alsace-Lorraine – home, as you may recall, of several of my mirror ancestors: Laurent Cassegrain and Henri Chrétien:

I am a fraternal twin (female). My brother (Hub) is the mirror in the Hubble telescope.

We are Cassegrain reflectors of Ritchey-Chretien design, and were conceived in 1979 at the Corning New York factory when 2 conjoined blanks of ultra-low expansion glass were sandwiched around a honeycomb lattice. – from MOTUS: The Bio

As of this morning Lady M was still undecided on her costume for this year’s event. I suspect it will come down to how well the costumes she ordered fit. The leading contenders so far:

mo elvira WM copyLady Elvira

mo snooki WM copyLady Snookie

Although to be honest, we’re having some trouble with a few of the costumes’ – uh - “special effects” that are required to make them “pop,” if you know what I mean.

Alternate costumes that have been nixed, for obvious reasons, include this adorable West African Fruit Bat with Teddy Bear:

a bat with his teddy bearHanging upside down for 21 days just won’t work

And this: I’m not sure what it’s supposed to be butt I’m pretty sure it’s racist:

pretty sure this is racist

Big Guy will be going as himself again this year, as he always has in the past. For some reason though, it has been eliciting a different response from the kids this year:

halloween costume to avoid if you don't want to scare the kids

Anyway, like I said you’re on your own: I’ve got sauerkraut and pork parts that need tending.  Please don’t do anything too scary, hand out any delicious calorie-dense candy or behave in any otherwise politically incorrect fashion.

black hat societyFYI: “Black Hat Society” – definitely racist

If you want to stroll down memory land, here’s the complete list of Halloweens Past from my vault:

Lady M’s Purrrrr-fect Halloween Party (2009)

Halloween Party at the White House: (2010)

Book ‘Em Mondo! (2011)

Honey, we don’t just think you’re stupid. We’re counting on it. (2012)

Halloween 2013: The Occupation Continues – Terror Ensues (2013)

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, October 30, 2014

All Leaks That Are Fit To Print

Your Federal Government would like you to know that not all leaks are created equal. Some are dangerous, pose a significant threat and must be dealt with immediately while others are not dangerous, do not pose any threat and need not be dealt with at all. And we will tell you which are which.

I. Leaks that pose a significant threat:

Exhibit 1: The leaked documents regarding North Korea’s nuclear program that Fox News’ James Rosen reported on: this was so critical that it brought the full powers of the federal government down on Mr. Rosen, Mr. Rosen’s parents and the AP organization. Eric Holder personally authorized the subpoena naming Mr. Rosen as a “co-conspirator” clearing the way for emails to be intercepted, rights violated, and freedom of the press trammeled on. Because, you know: leaks!

Note: While not exactly apologizing, Ricky did say he regrets the way he eavesdropped on Mr. Rosen. Or at least getting caught red-handed for doing it.

Exhibit 2: The leaks currently dribbling out from the Ferguson Grand Jury Investigation of the Michael Brown shooting which indicate that perhaps Officer Wilson was in fact telling the truth about being attacked by the Gentle Giant. These leaks are both dangerous and pose a very real threat to the case we’ve already made in the press against Officer Wilson and the Ferguson Police Department.

Not only has Ricky not apologized to anyone, he has doubled down: saying he’s mad as hell, and not going to take it anymore.

“This notion of leaking out selective information, which started as early as release of that tape…the convenience store. And then these leaks about what happened in the car. These are all the kinds of things that I think are inappropriate. I’ve said I’m exasperated. That’s a nice way of saying it. I’m mad,”

holder_thumb[6]“This notion of leaking out selective information?” – that sounds a bit like “projection”

And he has some advice for the people who are leaking info from the Grand Jury: just shut up!

Furthermore, he said it’s obvious that the Ferguson, Missouri police department needs  “wholesale change.” I guess because he’s determined that it’s a racist department that condones the wanton gunning down of gentle giants guilty of nothing more than walking while black.

Isn’t that sort of like convicting them before they are even…indicted? Did we change those rules?

a_us___obama_change_x_framed__poster

II. Leaks that pose NO significant threat:

Exhibit 1: An anonymous, high-level Administration source that leaked to Jeffery Goldberg of the Atlantic what we really think of our key ally in the Middle East. What on earth were they thinking? That in Yiddish “chicken-rhymes-with-spit” is a term of endearment? Or that accusing your ally of being afraid to do what we told him in no uncertain terms NOT TO DO - bomb Iran – is considered a compliment in Israel?

I doubt that the “unnamed” leaker from the BO-Administration

mo valI am not at liberty to leak who it might have been

was actually challenging Bibi’s personal cojones, which seem irrefutable,

Benjamin_Netanyahu_young

butt rather, as Allahpundit explains, they were questioning something they deem even more important, his political bravery:

As a million people on Twitter are noting this afternoon, “the chickensh*t” served as a team leader in the IDF’s special forces unit, Sayeret Matkal. Team Hopenchange isn’t questioning his personal bravery, though, they’re questioning something they naturally consider more important — political bravery. Which is interesting because The One’s shown plenty of gutlessness on international affairs himself over the past few years.

And in case you’re wondering; this is not the level of insult that rises to the level of Joey B’s Turkey and Saudi Arabian mis-misstatements. Which is to say, no apology is necessary, as explained by our ever reliable SPOX, Jan Psaki:

So, in summary: it's inappropriate to leak facts, unless they advance our side’s case. Got it? Good. Class dismissed.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Obama will solve the Ebola problem just like he solved every other problem! :(

On his way to a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Big Guy took the occasion of Dr. Salk’s 100th Birthday to issue his tenth statement on Ebola since Sept. 17.

google dr. salk birthdayAnd thank you, Google, for the reminder that polio had once been eradicated in this country.

As with the first nine statements, it did little to assuage people’s fears or outline our policy for actually containing an Ebola outbreak in America, which is “virtually impossible negligible extremely unlikely very low.”  Butt what BO did clarify was that neither his administration nor the CDC actually know what they’re doing, that we won’t be quarantining people coming in from West Africa who have actually been in contact with people suffering from Ebola. Butt yes, we WILL be quarantining our military members returning from there who theoretically will NOT be coming in direct contact with people suffering from Ebola. (Our MIA Ebola Czar will explain these seemingly contradictory positions as soon as he’s out of quarantine.)  

I don’t know who’s writing the remarks for BO and TOTUS these days, butt it seems to me they could stand to take our refresher remedial course in “How to Avoid the Overuse of Platitudes in Daily Rhetoric.” From Big Guy’s remarks:

It will be defeated.  Progress is possible.  But we're going to have to stay vigilant

NSA-Logo1-580x435The NSA – keeping a vigilant eye on your every keystroke since 2009

and we've got to make sure that we're working together…

bo holderWorking together against the Constitution since 2009

America in the end is not defined by fear.  That's not who we are.  America is defined by possibility.  And when we see a problem and we see a challenge, then we fix it.

fixing-obamacare-glitches-cartoon-heller-495x343Fixing America’s Healthcare System since 2009

We don't just react based on our fears.  We react based on facts and judgment and making smart decisions.

2250398136_eric20holders20fast20and20furious_xlargeMaking smart decisions, fast and furiously, since 2009

That's how we have built this country and sustained this country and protected this country. 

illegal_alien_border Building, sustaining, protecting America since 2009

That's why America has defined progress -- because we're not afraid when challenges come up.

climate change executive orderHandling pesky challenges since 2009

Thanks to our military, our dedicated medical and health care professionals, the men and women who I spoke to today in West Africa, that leadership and progress continues. 

no o in leadershipLeading from behind since 2009

And we're going to keep on making progress and we are going to solve this particular problem just like we’ve solved every other problem.

Uh oh - “just like we’ve solved every other problem!?!” With all due respect, I don’t think that’s exactly what people are looking for here, sir. This Ebola thing might require a few advanced skills not contained in our Remedial Problem Solving course:

Problem Solving 101 convention:

  1. Introduce problem
  2. Announce you just found out about it on the news
  3. Blame somebody else (preferably George W. Bush)
  4. Get really, really mad
  5. Appoint a Czar
  6. Problem solved
  7. Go play golf

The  Obama Problem Solving Course: Abridged

bigstockphoto_hammer_striking_nail_w_sparks_333329Problem, nail; Solution, hammer. There, done.

Of course the hammer solution isn’t equally effective on all problems. Take Ebola for example:

stock-photo-smashing-a-light-bulb-with-a-hammer-189868205

It’s a lot more like a light bulb than a nail, a toxic CFL “Curly-Fry” light bulb to be specific. So our standard solution might actually, uh, make things worse.

cflbulbchange2webcr

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

“A Dirty, Dark Secret”

I’m sure you all heard about the “Dirty, Dark Secret” that leaked out last week without official sanction:

bo birth cretificate copy_thumb[2]_thumb[4]

Wait, no; I’m just messing with you. I’m talking about this “dirty, dark secret” revealed last week by Sir Charles Barkley:

 He said WHAT?

As I tell my white friends, we as black people, we’re never going to be successful, not because of you white people, but because of other black people. When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a—It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out. It comes out every few years.

“Not because of you white people, but because of other black people” ??? Can he say that?

…One of the reasons we’re never going to be successful as a whole, because of other black people. And for some reason we are brainwashed to think, if you’re not a thug or an idiot, you’re not black enough. If you go to school, make good grades, speak intelligent, and don’t break the law, you’re not a good black person. And it’s a dirty, dark secret…

I said, you know, when young black kids, you know, when they do well in school, the loser kids tell them, ‘Oh, you’re acting white.’ The kids who speak intelligently—

They tell them, ‘You’re acting white.’ So it’s a dirty, dark secret in the black community.

I’m not going to say that’s a dog whistle, because Charles Barkley is certified black enough to criticize other black people (h/t: Bo Snerdly), butt if I said that…well, you know the drill:

thats-racist

Back to Charles:

It’s crabs in a barrel…—we’re the only race that tell people if you don’t have street cred, with like, that means you been arrested— Like, like that’s a compliment. We’re the only ethnic group who say, ‘Hey, if you go to jail, it gives you street cred.’ It’s just typical BS that goes on when you’re black, man. But don’t waste a lot of time on it please…

Anyone care to guess how many black kids will be earning their street creds later this week when the St. Louis Grand Jury comes in with a decision in the Michael Brown shooting? While you’re at it, guess how many nationally prominent outside agitators civil rights leaders community organizers will be on hand to help them earn those creds.

Screenshot Studio capture #2296

obamaforeveracommunityorganizer

Remember when the presumption of innocence applied to the presumed perpetrator, as well as the victim?

holder_clown

Yeah, well, that was BO – Before Obama; before the bus was filled with Bozos.

Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s see what Jesse “Never let a victim go to waste” Jackson thinks we should do about Ebola!

jesse jackson ebola victim

 

jesse-jackson-is-nuts

“We’re never going to be successful, not because of you white people, but because of other black people.” (Charles Barkley)

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted and Featured on Patriot Action Network

Monday, October 27, 2014

I don’t think this is what Ronnie meant by our “rendezvous with destiny.”

This just in; in time for Halloween Week: be on the lookout for evil clowns coming soon to a town near you.

clown_balloon

Paris (AFP) - A wave of panic sparked by evil clowns stalking French towns has spread to the south of France where police on Saturday night arrested 14 teenagers dressed as the pranksters, carrying pistols, knives and baseball bats.

"Since mid-October, a rumour inspired by videos published on the Internet, is worrying the population about the presence of threatening and aggressive clowns in France," the national police said in a statement this week.

Oh yeah, they so stole that idea from us: the whole concept of evil clowns was made right here - in America! And I dare say our evil clowns are much scarier than their evil clowns:

clowns

We’ve been dealing with evil clowns robbing us blind for so long we don’t even bat an eye anymore.

clown-congress

Besides, we’re much more concerned about the zombie apocalypse and the Ebola virus than any evil clown infestation.

simpsons ebolaAmerica: preparing for the Ebola virus since 1997

So suck it up you cheese eating surrender monkeys (h/t The Simpsons)

NOTE: French reference, not a simian reference; context is everything. 

Welcome to our nightmare, mon chéri, you’re in good company if not hands.

bozosCongressional Class Picture; side note: The fear of clowns is known as coulrophobia.

were_all_bozos_on_this_bus_tshirts_greeting_cards-r939e3cf03a764a8895b024de2f847416_xvuak_8byvr_324

 

On this the 50th anniversary of Ronald Reagan’s Rendezvous with Destiny speech, I note that “the Speech” is as relevant today as it was 50 years ago.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Pre-Halloween Treats

Let’s kick the Halloween week off with a couple of classic themed costumes:

1. The radio-controlled witch costume, designed by Otto Dieffenbach III, as seen flying over the ocean near Carlsbad California earlier this month:

a_witchoverthemoon

2. The Religion of Pieces costume, designed by a radio controlled bomb compliments of the U.S. Air Force, as seen on a former member of ISIS, flying somewhere in the skies near Kurdistan earlier this month.

isis leader as the wicked witch without broomstick

Whichever costume you choose, please be sure to keep your head while wearing it, as these are actual flying models and may be dangerous if used improperly.

isis witch copyBecause what goes up must come down

Now, about those recipes for special Halloween treats:

apple bites

I’m still waiting…

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Saturday, October 25, 2014

How To Enjoy An Ebola-Free Weekend

I was going to declare this an Ebola-Free zone for the weekend weekend, butt then…this from UpNorthLurkin:

iotw renamed pathogensH/T Fausta  and iOTW

And this photo op of BO demonstrating CDC’s new “Air-Kiss-Hug” protocol with Nina Pham  after she was miraculously “cured” of Ebola:

barack-obama-hugs-nina-phamHow long do you think he can hold his breath while “hugging it out for the cameras?”

Oh yeah, this photo op from the Administration that “doesn’t do photo ops” is going straight into our album of awkward hugs and kisses:

hugsThe “I love you back!” album

kiss if deathThe “I got your back!” album

awkward hugsThe “I’ve got your back too, big guy.” album

sexy ladies hugsThe “Who’s my sexy lady?” album

world leaders hugsAnd finally the “I love you back” part 2 album

Now, in order to offset those non photo ops, let’s just relax and enjoy a few authentic hugs, shall we, starting with one of UNL’s 7 days of why every dog needs a cat (or someone):

a-aaa-cat-and-dogl-Dont-mind-me-Im-just-hugging-my-buddy

And then there is the genuine bear hug gallery:

medo-the-bear-cub-hugs-dog03a-golden-turtle-nikolai-zinoviev-faith-hope-and-love-2011teddy_bear_hugs_a_guinea_pig_postcard-p239575930420815806en8ki_216teddy-bear-collectionpanda kissteddy-bear-hug-4763095

Now get out there and enjoy your Ebola-free weekend.

Oh, and don’t forget: Halloween is next Friday. If you have any special seasonal dishes that we should be planning to make for the occasion, like this ghost and spider pizza;

ghost pizza

or the always popular mummy dogs,

mummy dogs

now is the time to post them.

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