Tuesday, September 2, 2014

“Ich bin ein Berliner” and I have emigration rights!

Labor Day: very confusing.

Joey B was in Detroit with Big Labor telling them that “it’s time to take back America!” From whom? And hasn’t that sort of hate speech been deemed to be racist by our Attorney General? 

biden-pointing-on-labor-day-09-06-2011 copy

Also at the event, Teamsters’ President James Hoffa told the Labor Day crowd to get off their butts and head to the polls:

“If we stay home, we lose. We’ve got to have turnout. That’s how we turn this country around.”

Turn the country around? Haven’t you and your team been running it for the past 6 years? As I said, it was confusing.

Meanwhile Big Guy was in Milwaukee, pitching “HOPE” and “rights” – for everybody!

“Hope is what gives us courage; hope is what gave soldiers courage to storm a beach. Hope is what gives young people the strength to march for women’s rights and workers’ rights and civil rights and voting rights and gay rights and immigration rights.”

Obama-in-Wis--Labor-Day-jpg“I look around this room, and I see nothing but untapped potential.”

I’m not sure what HOPE or “Immigration Rights” has to do with Organized Labor. Maybe the unions are supposed to HOPE that amnesty and an open border doesn’t provide millions of aliens willing to do the work Americans union members are willing to do, only for less money.

And while talking up “immigration rights” on the one hand, I see that the other hand is simultaneously making “emigration rights” much more expensive: 

Americans who are abandoning their citizenship in droves are due to be charged five times more to surrender their passport under government plans announced yesterday.

It looks like you can come here for free, butt it’s going to cost you dearly if you wish to leave. Isn’t that the way it always starts? First, a charge for being an expat, later a huge penalty tax, and eventually you’re not allowed to leave at all.

berlin wall33Berlin Wall circa 1961

John F. Kennedy spoke of such things 1963:

ich bin ein berliner

“Freedom has many difficulties, and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in—to prevent them from leaving us.”JFK, 1963 “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech

I suppose we could look at the bright side: that’s one way to get a border fence built.

berlin wall

Did you know that Pinocchio was a terrible motivational speaker?


“You have… oh boy.”

Oh yeah, as it turned out, he was.

Obama Economy“Oh boy,” indeed

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Monday, September 1, 2014

Four Years Hence And It’s Still The Same As It’s Ever Been

I was Inspired by Bijou’s posting of Doktor Zoom’s tweet yesterday:

little man big suit2

So because I’m feeling lazy this Labor Day, and because it’s been nearly 4 years to the day that I originally posted “Once in a Lifetime”  I decided to repost this classic from my vault. Be sure to turn the music player on, it’s way more fun that way:

“Once in a Lifetime”

Originally posted August 30, 2010. I think you’ll remember the occasion:

This is so-ooo embarrassing. Here I am, thinking that the strange dress that looks like it’s already been caught in the rain was my biggest problem. So naturally that’s what I focused my circuitry on, the dress; I failed to consider the whole frame. Nor did I feel I had to as the one thing Big Guy is really good at, as a rule, are the visuals, so I totally was not ready for this:

obama-umbrella “I was told there would be no geometry”

Vanderleun even gave it a musical reference, in case you missed the point:

You may ask yourself
How do I work this?
You may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

— Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime 1984

Inspired by Vanderleun’s insight, I took the opportunity to illustrate the long version, with music - in case you still don’t get it:

Once In A Lifetime (click button above to play)

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house,


with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself-Well...
How did I get here?


Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by/water flowing underground

Into the blue again/after the money's gone

Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?

And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?

And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!

george obama copy  
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!


And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?

And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?

And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?

And you may tell yourself

best political cartoon-Dan Collins-croppedCLEANEDCartoon: Dan Collins Cartoons

Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

Same as it ever was...

Like I said: with Big Guy, it’s all about visuals.

Wow! 4 years later and everything - the economy, the national debt, the confusing strategies - is still…same as it ever was, only worse. Especially the Jimmy Carter part: apparently both he and Big Guy still believe that Israel is the only thing standing in the way of peace on earth good will towards men.

carterJimmy Carter, more delusional than ever, at the annual convention for the Islamic Society of North America on Saturday.


Same as it ever was...

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, August 31, 2014

“Ask not for whom the bell tolls” I think you know...

“Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself.” - Jean-Francois Revel

Although it’s the wrong holiday,the theatrical reference of the century comes to us this Labor Day weekend via Instapundit’s Facebook friend:

“What is happening now is basically America’s version of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The President of the United States — supported to an exceptional extent by an electorate both uncomprehending and untrusting of the outside world — is Clarence the Angel, and he’s showing us what the world would be like if we’d never been born…”

Although this version of “It’s a Wonderful Life” it is a tragedy and the fallen Angel reveals not Bedford Falls without George, but the world without America.


orwell obama devilComing soon to a theatre near you

Wait…didn’t somebody already do that?

America imagine a world without her

Anyway, don’t forget: every time a bell rings,

o-OBAMA-RINGS-BELL-570That’s the wrong bell, bozo.

…an angel gets his wings.

bo devil ears

Yeah, sometimes they’re black. Don’t hold that against him.


Calvin tries to imagine Obama’s America:

calvin on historySo far, it’s working.

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Saturday, August 30, 2014

If wishes were horses our cart would have a driver.

At the #BeigePressConference, it became eminently clear that “the strategy thing” is above Big Guy’s pay grade:

“I don't want to put the cart before the horse. We don't have a strategy yet,” before elaborating, “I think what I’ve seen in some of the news reports suggest that folks
are getting a little further ahead of what we’re at than what we
currently are.”

Imagine if Donald Rumsfeld had uttered that line! Or better yet, George W. Bush! Butt I digress; since we prefer to be led from behind,

valerie_jarrett_obama_senior_adviserHead ‘em up, move ‘em on!

and since Val is still on vacation, and since we were speaking of horses, BO handed the ISIS strategery-thing off to his Secretary of State for handling. John “F” Kerry is reporting for duty:

john-kerryUnfortunately, citizen-of-the-world and fellow traveler John eFfing Kerry sincerely believes that global warming presents our most serious existential threat. Sheeze, you can lead a horse to water, butt you can’t make him drink.

PX*3924134Look at what Global Warming is up to now!

I really don’t think this is going to turn out well; butt I guess we can’t change horses in mid-stream can we? Nay, I didn’t think so. 

john kerryClick to hear the horse neigh

So we’re more or less stuck for now: a President who has no clue and no strategy and his Secretary of State who has no clue and the wrong strategy. We’re left holding the bag, wishin’ and HOPEin’ for the best; of course if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, wouldn’t they?

horseLeading from behind: photoshop h/t BKeyser

Wishin’ and Hopin’: Dusty Springfield

This post of useless aphorisms was sponsored by the Office of the President of the United States of America.

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Friday, August 29, 2014

A New Game Show: Tweet Like Your Favorite Famous Person

In case you missed it, GreetingsFromYonkers posted an insightful comment late Wednesday night on the limitations of Twitter in a semi-illiterate age:

“Gosh, wholly apart from whether we do or don't know what we do or don't know, I have an even more basic issue with Twitter.

It's the 140-character limit. Frankly, most people are not literate enough to work around this roadblock, which calls for exceptionally high vocabulary and syntax skills. Thus tweets end up being an incomprehensible mélange of clichéd abbreviations, or extremely superficial.

Let's all close our eyes and imagine what Twitter would be like in the hands of Dorothy Parker: a weapon of mass destruction! Can you imagine her tweeting this on September 15, 2008:


Jesus would have been a natural on Twitter too. His philosophical statement that became the cornerstone of Christianity, the Golden Rule, is also less than 140 characters.”

And then, yesterday, Sowsear posed the quintessential DP question: “What fresh hell is this?” I took the arrival of two Parkerisms in less than 24 hours as an omen of some kind, so I’m rolling with it; let’s all play “Famous People’s Tweets.” I see multiple ways to construct this; you can recycle famous people’s exact quotes as retweets on current events – let’s use one of Dorothy’s for illustration purposes (and speaking of illustrations, the use of a picture with your retweets is optional, butt welcome).

obama-fraud“Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough.” 

Or, you can re-write a famous person’s original quote to suit current events. For example, Ernest Hemingway, commenting on the ease of tweeting: original quote: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”

The 21st century retweet translates to:

 #TweetingYourThoughts: “There is nothing to #tweeting. All you do is grab your #SmartPhone and #Bleed.”

Alternatively, you can use the style of a famous person to tweet on current events; Winston Churchill on #StopTweetingNow:

“#Never, #never, #never, #never, #NeverTweet!”

Or perhaps e.e.cummings on the demise of proper grammar in the Twitterverse, #usepropergrammar

 “#idon’tcare #doasyouplease”

Or, equally fun, take a famous person’s actual quote and repurpose it into a similar but more contemporary observation; F. Scott Fitzgerald original quote: “You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.” 

Repurposed modern sentiment expressed in a tweet:

“You don’t #tweet #BecauseYouHaveSomethingToSay, you #tweet #BecauseYouDon’tHaveAnythingToSay.”

Okay troops, carry on: this could get interesting.


or not…


Thanks, Yonkers! What a #GreatIdea!

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Thursday, August 28, 2014

Truthiness or Consequences

Take a bow Stephen Colbert, your fake news show term “truthiness” has just been adopted by your government. It’s been shortened to “truthy” and is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the old “Attack Watch” organization which was later acquired by the newly incorporated “Truth Team.” (I explained how this worked back when the merger was originally announced in 2012.) 

In case you’ve forgotten, the role of those totally impartial organizations was to turn Right Wingers in to the authorities for telling lies about Big Guy - so the IRS could audit them.

truth team “The Truth Team is a network of supporters of President Obama who are committed to responding to unfounded attacks and defending the President’s record. When you’re faced with someone who misrepresents the truth, you can find all the facts you need right here—along with ways to share the message with whoever needs to hear it.”

The newest formulation of the Truth Team is a science project at Indiana University funded by the National Science Foundation to “monitor “suspicious memes” and what it considers “false and misleading ideas,” with a major focus on political activity online.” Because we don’t already have enough college kids in Washington messing with us yet.


Butt don’t worry, the science project’s overseer assures us his intentions are pure:

“Truthy” claims to be non-partisan. However, the project’s lead investigator Filippo Menczer proclaims his support for numerous progressive advocacy groups, including President Barack Obama’s Organizing for Action, Moveon.org, Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, Amnesty International, and True Majority.

So don’t worry, fellow travelers will continue to have their right to express themselves with impunity. However, if your choose to express yourself in a fashion that we’ve deemed to be “hate speech” (criticism of BHO) or “misinformation” (non-progressive ideas) you will be tracked down by the “Truthy” Team and turned over to the IRS for auditing.

Sounds like Big Guy just used his magic pen to create a new Federal Department: the Ministry of Truth.


Maybe I should reactivate the MOTUS Truth Team, just to help sort out the TRUTH from the non-truthy truth.


MOTUS Truth Team LARGE-3D copy


Truthiness or Consequences: It’s not just a game show anymore

irs_audit“You can use hate speech if you want, but it will bankrupt you.”

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Wednesday, August 27, 2014

In Which We Wonder About Things

My high school physics teacher used to tell us that in order to understand physics you first had to be curious.   His First Directive was “wonder about things.” 

I bring this up only because it is a source of constant amazement to me how uncurious everyone around the Big White is - and by “everyone”  I do mean EVERYWON. They receive a lot of information in their newsfeed that they tweet, text and Instagram on to others, along with an original witticism when the spirit moves them. If the “news” comes from a trusted source, i.e. somebody in their Twittersphere, they consider it “solid.” When they receive their own tweet back from someone else, they consider it confirmation. It’s the perfect closed loop information system.

closed tweet system

Everyone is in constant contact with 100,000+ other people around the globe who are equally uncurious; everybody sending and receiving the same thing without wondering about what it means, or questioning its veracity. That’s why most White House staffers eventually end up with media jobs.

Unfortunately this type of closed loop information system can have drawbacks; like your talking points might be contradictory or work at cross purposes. Or your message gets garbled somewhere along the re-tweeted chain of added witticisms: 

Like when you send someone out for a good high fiber cerealfruitloops and they come home with gay Cheerios.

At its worse, a closed loop system can result in a situation where nobody knows what to do about anything, as they suddenly discover they are devoid of any actual information that would allow them to know what they are doing. At that point the value of wondering about things you don’t know anything about becomes obvious.

“There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know.” – Donald Rumsfeld


unknown quadrant

Suffice it to say we are now operating firmly in that most dangerous quadrant: “we don’t know what we don’t know.”


I wonder why the whole world is still following us.


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