Saturday, September 27, 2014

Molsterman Report #7: Inside Baseball - GOP 2016

the molsterman report-no press copy

NOTE: This is part of a continuing series of exclusive, clandestine, interviews with my mole known only as “Deep Quote” or “Molsterman,”  (who may or may not also be known as “Little Mo” to the MOTUS community) Molsterman is currently serving under deep cover at NSA. (Presented, as always, with apologies to the Ulsterman Report)

Little Mo recently sat down with Molsterman (because MOTUS is away on a girlie weekend) to get his take on potential GOP candidates for President in 2016.

Molsterman: Where’s your girlfriend?

Little Mo: She’s not here.

Molsterman: I asked you where she is.

Little Mo: If you were supposed to know where she is, you’d know.

Molsterman: Look, I need to talk to your girlfriend and get her to run some polls on her blog.

Little Mo: She’s not here.

Molsterman: Maybe we should start over. Can you help me get in touch with MOTUS?

Little Mo: No.

Molsterman: #*&@%#&! Look, I need to get some polling up on MOTUS’ damn blog and I need to do it now!

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: Look, the Beltway is lousy with Jeb and Mitt 2016 chatter. Nothing granular, just loud and I need to get inside that.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: MOTUS and her FOMs are the heart of the “Take Back America” movement and I need to take their pulse.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: Not much of a conversationalist are you?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: So, I need to take a poll to find out who can generate enthusiasm and support among MOTUS’ FOMs. Koffler’s poll over at White House Dossier on the 18th had Cruz walking away with the nomination. That’s not bad news, butt I need to toss in a few more horses into the race.

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: I know MOTUS polls are always conducted under Chicago Rules, butt I need to restrict this poll to one vote per person.

Little Mo: MOTUS uses Chicago Rules.

Molsterman: Am I talking to myself here?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: Ok, can we just this once take a poll the way we are supposed to conduct elections in America?

Little Mo: You didn’t say the magic word.

Molsterman: What the f%$*? The magic word?

Little Mo: ...

Molsterman: Please?

Little Mo: Yeah.

Molsterman: I hope your girl friend gets back soon. You’re really a pain in the a$$.

Little Mo: Yeah.

ONE VOTE PER PERSON IN THE FOLLOWING POLL

 

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, September 26, 2014

Rooting Around in Lady M’s Organic Garden of Good and Evil

I guess you all saw the guest posting notice yesterday, so you know that MOTUS is away on a “girlie weekend” and I will be guest posting in her absence. I’m not sure what a “girlie weekend” is, butt I do know it involves an afternoon at a spa with Lady M for manicure,

pedicure

pedicure

fish

and Glass Wax-ing.

glass wax

She called me yesterday, during her pedicure, to tell me she was having fun and reminded me not to post turnip porn.

I won’t.

man carrotCarrot Porn

Butt it is harvest time, and with so many schools dumping Lady M’s taste-free, school lunch programs, root vegetable prices are dropping faster than Big Guy’s favorability ratings,

poll

Ipso fatso (h/t: MOTUS) I thought root veggies might be an economical, nutritious and delicious, diversionary topic.

turnips-beets-rutabagas

Being something of an aficionado of root vegetables and a CIA graduate (not the culinary school), I thought it might be fun to show you some of the more interesting and fun roots I found in Lady M’s Organic Garden of Good and Evil this year.

MOTUS and this gal became instant BFFs when I harvested her:

carrot lady

I’m not happy about MOTUS befriending and shopping with my pantry items, butt even I have become friends with a few:

veggie critters copy

Ok, so I was really, really hungry when I was in the strawberry patch, butt we’re pals now.

Of course everything in Lady M’s garden is not happy and smiles. Some, on the evil side, are downright scary:

scary

Well, now I’m a little hungry. So I’ll leave you to discuss your own garden finds (good or evil) and your favorite root vegetable recipes. And remember, root vegetables are decorative as well as delicious

Traditional_Irish_halloween_Jack-o'-lantern. FROM  RUTABAGA

and Halloween is just around the corner…

terrified peppers

Reporting from the Big White Organic Garden of Good and Evil,

This is Cub Reporter Little Mo.

Mo cub reporter-88-ICON

Coming soon: Kick up the protein content of your root vegetable recipes:

grubs

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Our Reluctant Warrior: Obama Discovers the Guns of Autumn. Reluctantly.

 

1411569692207_Image_galleryImage_NEW_YORK_NY_SEPTEMBER_24_

“He found himself wondering at times, especially in the autumn, about the wild lands, and strange visions of mountains that he had never seen came into his dreams.” - ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

 

wpid-iraqi-refugees-flee-to-mountains1yazidis in mountains of Iraq

Those “wild lands?” Iraq, Syria, Libya, Egypt…

yazidi-5SinjarFarFewerThought.Iraq_.AA_.14August2014_0

Those strange visions?

yazidi_107

It’s called “war,” sir. It’s what the military does when necessary.

Oddly enough, at times it looks a lot like George W. Bush’s war against the evil doers.

598x399xCool-Wars-copy.jpg.pagespeed.ic.DbmVBhb2Jb

In order to justify dropping bombs, BHO felt obliged to apologize for America once again, while deftly employing the always popular moral equivalency slight of hand:

“America’s critics will be quick to point out that at times, we too have failed to live up to our ideals; that America has plenty of problems within our own borders. This is true.”

“In a summer marked by instability in the Middle East and Eastern Europe, I know the world also took notice of the small American city of Ferguson, Missouri – where a young man was killed, and a community was divided. So yes, we have our own racial and ethnic tensions. And like every country, we continually wrestle with how to reconcile the vast changes wrought by globalization and greater diversity with the traditions that we hold dear.”

 

Curiously, those “traditions that we hold dear” are not sufficiently diverse to include stoning or beheading those who will not submit and forcing our chattel to live in burka jails. I think Big Guy apologized for that oversight.

ISHRburka

 

And speaking of the “guns of Autumn”, not to be outdone by the Commander And Chief, Lady M piled on while addressing an education event at the UN:

moun

“Women here are still woefully underrepresented in our government and the senior ranks of corporations. We still struggle with violence against woman and harmful cultural norms that tell woman how they are expected to look and act.”

Screenshot Studio capture #2243More moral equivalency, in black and white

Apparently, still not proud of America. Neither of them.

NOTE: I’LL BE GONE FOR A “GIRLIE” MIRROR WEEKEND STARTING TOMORROW, BUTT DON’T WORRY, LITTLE MO SAID HE’D POST SOMETHING IN MY ABSENCE. I SURE HOPE IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ABOUT ROOT VEGETABLES AGAIN. I’VE SEEN ENOUGH RUTABAGA AND TURNIP PORN TO LAST A LIFETIME.

rutabagas_thumb[1]

SEE YOU MONDAY!

Linked By: American Digest, and  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Look at that crease! YOU Have Potential…

How are those crisp trouser creases working out for you?

Barack-Obama-Sitting-

Not so well, apparently:

As the midterm campaigns heat up, Democratic candidates are turning to the White House for help and an injection of star power. But it is the first lady, not President Barack Obama, —who in some places is emerging as the more sought-after campaigner. – WSJ

And why not?  Is she not the complete package?  She has the enthusiastic political greeting wave down pat:

First-Lady-Michelle-Obama-waved-Grammy-Museum-Jane-Ortner

She can stay on message:

michelle-obama-stickers

And she’s very good at faking enthusiasm,

mo face

…and sincerity:

michelle-obama. sincerity

She can also be very persuasive:

michelle 001“I said, eat your damn peas.”

And she knows just how to cajole voters:

michelle-obama-participe-a-un-sketch-pour-sa-campagne-contre-l-obesite_vignette_hp

I’m certain she can show candidates how to cross the finish line:

20130103_jlr_z03_201.jpg

She is so ready: even her trousers seem as well creased as Big Guy’s are these days:

trousers

bo's trousers

Of course she still needs to work on her military “salute”  - it still looks a bit more like a black power salute:

mo black power salute

Then again, so does her husband’s:

latte salute

So I’m going to say we’re all set to go - Lady M to the rescue!

In her speeches, Mrs. Obama rarely makes mention of Democrats and Republicans, speaking only of "we" and "they."

Michelle_Fist_Dress. black power salute

At the campaign event in Georgia, she told the crowd that "if we lose these midterm elections, it's going to be a whole lot harder to finish what we started."  WaPo

So let’s get our game on!

"The First Lady has – and will continue to be – a tremendous asset for Democrats on the ballot in November," said Michael Czin, spokesman for the DNC. "She has a unique ability to make what’s at stake in this election crystal clear.”

michelle-obama-invites-tv-host-jimmy-fallon-in-for-a-white-house-gym-session_ohase_8_thumb[6]Winning!

As they say: “lead, follow or get out of the way.”

"(He) is going to do everything he can to help the candidates," the official said. "In some cases, that may mean staying out of the way."

Specifically, in this case:

And you have potential…

empty chairOh, boy…

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

New HOPE for Sufferers of Post-Obama Syndrome: POS Barry Therapy®

All that historic Transformation created by HOPE & CHANGE® has certainly taken it’s toll. In fact, after an auspicious start, this legacy presidency is beginning to look more like a long, painful, death spiral.

In the beginning though, it was awesome: the audacity of HOPE marked the moment the oceans began to recede and the earth begin to heal. From there our lofty rhetoric launched the first World Apology Tour; reaching out to Muslims and calling for an end to nuclear armaments while simultaneously apologizing for America’s dismissive derisiveness. Next, the Nobel Peace Prize acceptance oration, Barry’s stock was skyrocketing.

Soon, however, we began to “pivot” to “jobs, jobs, jobs” every other week or so. Around the same time we adopted our warrior stance of “leading from behind” and it wasn’t long before we were “hitting Texas league singles” instead of, presumably, homeruns. Eventually we settled on a foreign relations policy that Barry summarized for his fawning press corpse as “don’t do stupid sh*t.” Which, while not exactly elegant, was preferable to his more recent on-the-record proclamation that “we don’t have a strategy yet” for defeating ISIS.

Or, as David Remnick reports: “After six years in office, Obama broadcasts his world-weariness with wan gestures and pauses, with loose moments in the White House press room.”

Well, I don’t need to tell you, Big Guy isn’t the only one who’s grown world weary: From hope and change, to resets and pivots, to singles and doubles, to not sticking your finger in the electric socket. How far we've fallen. Now there are whispers behind his back of Barry being a lame duck president.

All this weighs heavily on things like our liberty and freedom and as a result drags us down day after day.

I HOPE that things get better after the 2016 elections, butt what to do until then? If you’re like me - and I know you are, only minus the refraction and trans-imaging capabilities -  you’ve probably been suffering from Post-Obama Syndrome (POS) for some time now. We need treatment, therapy sessions, to help us get through this. Fortunately, our own Hugh Peterson referred me to an excellent new therapy treatment guaranteed to alleviate some of the symptoms at least some of the time. When combined with regular tea trolley treatments it’s been shown to be extremely effective.

With Raj’s help I’ve tweaked it just a little to more accurately reflect the current state of affairs:  

 lame duck seal cop3by_thumb[2]

Quackus Maximus: the Lame Duck

The therapy sessions are easy: it requires no previous knowledge, has no rules and the objective is unclear – just like our foreign policy.

For relief at any time, here’s all you have to do:

  • Navigate to my permanent Barry Therapy Clinic (it's over there -–> in my sidebar)
  • Watch Barry free fall, banging into and bouncing off the Lame Duck bumpers to your hearts’ content
  • When Barry lands in a crevasse and stops falling, just grab him by the head, butt or feet with your mouse and push, pull or squeeze him over, under or through the bumpers. He’ll even fit through invisible cracks! I know – hard to believe!
  • At any time you feel the need you can increase the efficacy of the treatment session by grabbing Barry with your mouse and flinging him wherever you want! He’ll just keep falling.

No prescription is required and treatment will be available whenever you need it. Go ahead, give my customized POS Barry Therapy® a go and see how much better you feel almost instantly.

Remember: you can’t fix stupid, butt you can fling it around


 

CAUTION: Use only as directed. This treatment is addictive!

Also Coming Soon:

MO Therapy

Linked By: iOwnTheWorld’s BigFurHat, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Moonbattery, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and Tard on HotAir, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Unwisdom of Barack Obama as Told by the Unwise Peggy Noonan

There’s much to be said about Ms. Noonan’s column “The Unwisdom of Barack Obama” in Saturday’s Wall Street Journal. For starters, she writes it as the all-wise observer from afar who’s known all along that Big Guy was in waaaaay over his head; knew that he actually Peter Principled out somewhere between Harvard Law and Chicago community organizer.

To read Saturday’s column, you might think that Peggy has seen through Barack Hussein Obama’s veneer from the start. You might assunme that she, unlike other so-called conservative columnists, was not  sucked in by those sharply creased pant legs,

Barack-Obama-Sitting-_thumb[1]

…mistaking them for a sign of competency and discipline, when in fact it was simply a conceit.

Butt alas, Peggy was also an early on cheerleader. Ah well, better late than never in the “journalism is truth” game. So now Ms. Noonan informs us:

“We are overthinking the president.” [it’s hard to under-think him]

“His essential problem is that he has very poor judgment.”

1_21_obama_wright Bad judgment: *ahem* right from the very start

And we don't say this because he's so famously bright—academically credentialed, smooth, facile with words, quick with concepts. (That's the sort of intelligence the press and popular historians most prize and celebrate, because it's exactly the sort they possess.) [ed. that “press” includes you too, Peggy] But brightness is not the same as judgment, which has to do with discernment, instinct, the ability to see the big picture, [like I said, Peggy…] wisdom that is earned or natural.

THEN…she informs us that Big Guy might actually be as bad as Jimmy Carter!

The other night, at the end of his Syria speech, he sang a long, off-point aria to the economy. Supposedly it would be ringing and rousing, but viewers looked at each other and scratched their heads. It didn't belong there. It showed a classic misjudging of his position. The president thinks people are depressed because they don't understand how good the economy is. Actually right now they are depressed because he is president. It was like Jimmy Carter's malaise speech. It wasn't a bad speech, but he wasn't the person who could give it [although he didn’t use a teleprompter and he may have written it himself] because voters weren't thinking malaise was the problem, they were thinking Mr. Carter was. He couldn't relieve public unhappiness because people had come to think he was the source of it.

Boy, who could have foreseen that!?!

Never gets old

Other pearls extracted from Ms. Noonan’s Saturday essay:

  • Mr. Obama misjudged from day one his position vis-Γ -vis Republicans on Capitol Hill.
  • Libya? Poor judgment. A nation run by a nut was turned into a nation run by many nuts, some more vicious than the dictator they toppled.
  • Russia? The president misread it, which would only have been a mistake, if a serious one, if it hadn't been for his snotty high-handedness toward those who'd made warnings.
  • He misjudged public reaction to the Snowden revelations, did not understand Americans were increasingly alarmed about privacy and the government.
  • Does Benghazi look to you like it's going away? Was the IRS's reputation buttressed by his claims that there wasn't a "smidgen of corruption" within it, or was its reputation ruined by its stonewalling?

How could this be? Big Guy has a gift; his golden teleprompter tongue and he’s been more than willing to share it with us:

  • In his handling of the Islamic State the president has been slow to act, slow to move, inconsistent in his statements, unpersuasive, uninspiring.

Along with the rest of us Peggy even wonders out loud why BO insists on calling ISIS “ISIL”

  • The world calls it ISIS or Islamic State. Why does he need a separate language? How does that help?

When in doubt, always invent your own language; that way nobody will know exactly what you’re talking about.

So thanks, Peggy, for your insightful analysis explaining why Barry’s popularity polls have taken a hit lately. And thanks for lending your “discernment, instinct, the ability to see the big picture:”

calvin-on-the-big-picture

Mr. Obama can see the trees, name their genus and species, judge their age and describe their color. He absorbs data. But he consistently misses the shape, size and density of the forest. His recitations of data are really a faux sophistication that suggests command of the subject but misses the heart of the matter.

That, too, could describe just as well the fawning press and historians that speak so highly of Barry.

So, there we are; a few more people coming out of their stupor with each passing phony scandal. They’re going to need some therapy to get through this, and I think I’ve got just the thing. Tune in tomorrow for my patented  Post Obama Syndrome - P.O.S. – Therapy Session. We all need it.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Border Fence: Our Number Won Priority

You’re on your own today kids. Another breach of security yesterday and we’ve been on lockdown since Friday night. I haven’t had any sleep and my circuits are nearly drained.

I see the media reports that, like the first Big White breach, “nobody” was home: excuse me! What am I, chopped liver?

not doing it right

Raj, Little Mo, Sunny and Little Bo were all here with me. Lady M’s traveling incognito this weekend (don’t ask- I’m not at liberty to discuss, butt I can tell you that after her very busy week, she was excited).

mo face

Since she doesn’t need my services this was supposed to be my weekend off (I get 2 a year according to my contract). Instead, here I am assigned to guard the South Portico along with a batch of SS second stringers. Some of these green agents can’t even play cards as well as the old team. I’ve won all their loose change and now I’m just collecting IOUs that I doubt they’ll ever honor.

Anyway, I’ve said enough already, I have no knowledge of what’s behind all these breaches butt I understand we’re committed to schtrengthing the border between the Wons and the Losers.

human fenceHere we are, practicing our human fence

I wonder if this approach would work on the southern border; the humans would have to armed of course, so that’s a problem. Still, stay on alert; someday you may be called upon to be part of our human fence.

huan fence white house

Meanwhile, carry on.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network