Saturday, October 13, 2012

Our Consistently Evolving Lack of Civility

Finally, a clear explanation on Joey’s debate behavior, and it has nothing to do with his meds:

Vice President Joe Biden's repeated laughter during Thursday's debate was a reflection of the "enormous amount of passion and joy" he brings to the job of serving the American people, White House press secretary Jay Carney said on Friday.

Neo-Neo thinks she knows where Joey’s passion and joy comes from:

        Joe-kerjoker jack

Biden’s laughter is derisive laughter, in keeping with the Obama campaign theme of contempt for the opposition. There is no actual humor in his guffawing, and his grin looks forced, as though he’s made a decision to laugh as a technique, perhaps to goad Ryan to anger. Most pundits agree the behavior was a way to rev up the base. But what does it say about the Democratic base if this is the sort of thing that gets its members’ juices flowing?

Charles Krauthammer thinks it was another Jack Nicholson character that Joey was channeling:

"Biden's debate preparation was watching repeatedly 'The Shining.'

Not a bad call either:

joey the jokerjack-nicholson-the-shining"HEEEERE'S JOEY!"

Personally, I’m sticking with the “better living through chemicals” explanation from yesterday. If nothing else, it’s consistent with our prior experience with this administration.

young bo obama stoned 1981 NY

And we all know just how important consistency is to Team Obama.

The one thing that I think people, Republicans as well as Democrats, can say is that there has been consistency with me from the time that I started running for president to today. And there will be consistency all the way through the next four years of my presidency.

Well,BO HAS been consistent with respect to class warfare and spreading the wealth around.

On certain other issues, he’s simply evolved (e.g. on Gitmo, the individual health care mandate, televising the debate on Obamacare, same sex marriage, the patriotism of raising the debt ceiling, the Afghan war, whether the Constitution grants him the power to bypass Congress, the value of work for welfare, etc.). Which is different from being inconsistent. Somehow. Because the State Run Media says so.

Anyway, now it looks like even his polls are evolving.


So it’s a good thing that evolving is different from being inconsistent.

Butt now Big Guy is all about getting back to the work of the American people who are supporting him: last night he had dinner with our latest “support the O-Team” lottery winners at Smith’s Commons.

bo winners cathevs nc oroas ohio laliberte and mom co

And what luck indeed! Take a look at our winners: one African-American/Hispanic couple from battleground state North Carolina, one African-American couple from battleground state Ohio and one white guy with his middle-aged mom who dresses like Hillary from battleground state Colorado. Seriously, what are the odds? Very, very lucky.

Lady M couldn’t make the dinner this time: she and Val were busy trying to figure out what to do about this Libyan mess that’s threatening to unglue us from the Big White.

                mo valJarFour_Star_Jarrett

“Look Michelle, Bo’s busy, so we’ll just have to proceed without him. I think we should just withdraw from the Middle East and give Israel back to Palestine. Oh, and issue some more harsh sanctions against everyone.”

NOTE: Be sure to read the comments at NEO-NEOCON too, as they are excellent, such as this one from Wry Mouth: “

“Saddened by the popularity of Mr. Biden’s histrionics among his base (which includes one of my elder brothers, and many friends and colleagues — since I am in the education business).

The triumph of the Rude Society seems to be nearing its conclusion.” (snip)

How anyone could look at the twin display of off-handed arrogance and come away thinking, “Yes! I want those two in office for another four years!” — especially after the incessant carping over Dick Cheney’s offhanded “arrogance” — is incomprehensible to me.



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Friday, October 12, 2012

Plugs, Unplugged.

As it turned out, the debate that “sounded better than it looked,” was the VP debate, not the first Presidential match up. So maybe San Fran Nan just got her official DNC debate notes mixed up.

Actually, Joey’s speaking parts didn’t really sound that much better than they looked. And they looked pretty bizarre.


So I’m thinking, maybe the DNC hired a new acting coach, one specializing in the histrionic method acting.




Or, as the Bookworm suggests (h/t Doug Ross), perhaps they just hired a new pharmaceutical provider.

“Do you remember Jennifer Granholm at the DNC, when she was yelling and gesticulating wildly?  She was a 33 rpm record playing at 78.”


jennifermich ex-gov jennifer 

“Watching the Vice Presidential debate tonight, it was obvious that Joe Biden had broken into her medicine cabinet and taken twice the dosage.”

jennifer2 Jennifer_Granholm

Apparently Big Guy’s advice to Little Joe was right on target: “I think Joe just needs to be Joe”inaccurate, rude, condescending, and, dare I say it?…dismissive, even sometimes derisive?

That “dismissive” part: I wonder how that’s going to play in the Republican’s War on Women? Because some people, like Keith Koffler, think that women aren’t going to be very happy with Joey’s treatment of Paul Ryan because they can relate all too well with that sort of dismissive treatment. What do you think ladies? Ever been on the receiving end of this type of behavior?

Butt Joey,although unplugged, was on top of his game last night. So when Ryan responded to his allegation that Romney didn’t care about 47% of the country, with this:

"Mitt Romney's a good man. He cares about 100 percent in this country, and with respect to that quote, I think the vice president very well knows that sometimes the words don't come out of your mouth the right way,"

Joey responded immediately, without thinking:

"But I always say what I mean."

So I guess we’ll have to stop calling them “gaffes.”

I guess the middle class has been buried by Team-Obama:

"How they can justify — how they can justify — raising taxes on the middle class that's been buried the last four years? How in Lord's name can they justify raising their taxes with these tax cuts?"

And maybe Obamacare really will raise everyone’s taxes after all:

“You know the phrase they always use? ‘Obama and Biden want to raise taxes by a trillion dollars.’ Guess what? Yes we do,”

Yep, a heartbeat away.

joey the bee

    Bidenjoey the jokerJoe-Biden

And who wouldn’t want their favorite crazy uncle running the free world?

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

“They are not near Benghazi...This is silly”

These results are stunning. The only poll that BO is still  leading in is “likeability.” This could be another historic election:

GayObamaThe first time America has elected Ms. Congeniality to the Presidency?

-And I want to go on record right upfront and say that - despite what you may see or hear elsewhere - Big Guy is NOT getting tips from Honey Boo-Boo’s coach. 


Watch where you wag that finger, Big Guy.

Butt finally – we’re getting some answers. No, not about the Benghazi-gate fiasco. About why Big Guy lost the debate with Romney. Big Guy finally fessed up to having a hand in the defeat:

“I think it’s fair to say I was just too polite," the president said when asked about his first debate performance during an interview on the Tom Joyner radio show. "The good news is, is that’s just the first one."

BO's middle finger…and I’ve been getting a little coaching

That’s a good sign – that he’s listening to his handlers I mean. In addition to body language, they’re practicing the tough questions that are sure to be posed by one of “our” debate moderators:

Q. Mr. President, what do you consider your greatest flaw?

A. Well, David, I’d have to say I just care too much.

Meanwhile, in addition to the litany of excuses that the rest of the team has come up with for Big Bird’s Guy’s bad showing in the Mile High city, San Fran Nan has come up with her own creative twist. I call it the Nixon Defense;  “it sounded better than it looked.” Interesting theory; Nan claimed that she listened to the debate on the radio and it sounded like a draw to her. While Nan is not known as the most astute Pol in Washington, especially after a few pops, still - it’s as good as anything else we’ve got. 

bo no nixon copy

Butt there are other things going on besides the re-election campaign - really! For example, there’s that pesky allegation of a cover up of the facts surrounding the murder of our Ambassador and 3 other Americans in Libya. These charges are simply not true: butt don’t take my word for it, ask Jay-Jay, current chief spokesmouth and graduate of  Baghdad Bob’s School of Journolists.

baghdad bob's school of journolism

Admirably, Jay-Jay continued to doublespeak his way around the truth as well as he could - given the knee deep hoopla that he found himself wading around in.

“We have been clear all along that this was an ongoing investigation, that as more facts became available we would make you aware of them as appropriate, and we have done that,” Carney said. (snip)

“I think there is no question that when four Americans are killed at a diplomatic facility, that something went wrong,” Carney said.

Benghazi-500x281 No sh*t, Sherlock.

“From the day that this happened, the president has been focused on ensuring that we are doing everything we can to bring the perpetrators to justice, making sure that diplomatic personnel and facilities around the world are protected, and that we take the steps necessary to find out what happened and why,” Carney said

obama vegasMaybe that famous Psychic at Bellagio can tell me who murdered my Ambassador.

I sure hope somebody can clean up this fine mess we find ourselves in - through no fault of Big Guy or anyone in his administration who inadvertently denied extra security requests for the embassy in Benghazi multiple times. Because we’ve got a reelection to WIN!

And in order to WTF, we’re going to need a performance from  Mr. Claire Shipman that’s at least as good as the master:

You know, it just occurred to me: we might need to find another scapegoat to wiggle out of this one.

HillaryClintonHumaAbedinHey! Do you two babes have a minute to take a meeting?

I’m sure Hil will understand if Big Guy just explains that “we’ve decided to go in a different direction.” And Huma, well, she has a new baby and an unemployed husband, so she probably wants to spend more time with her family anyway.

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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Taking Obamacare Off the Menu

Uh oh! People are actually whispering this around town: “What did President Obama know and when did he know it?” I guess we’ll find out around noon.

As if that’s not bad enough, now it appears that the Obamacare support (as first reported right here) that Lady M horse traded negotiated with Darden Restaurants – owner of Olive Garden and Red Lobster - is coming unraveled as well. Apparently their waivers are going to expire because they didn’t cut enough fat, salt, sugar and taste out of their recipes to warrant an extension. Now they don’t think they can afford employee healthcare for everyone. (Gosh! Who could’ve seen that coming!?)

michelle-lobster-bibIt’s not because no one can afford lobster anymore; it’s just that they don’t taste good without butter!

Butt honestly, there were signs almost immediately that Dardon’s deal with the devil Lady M’s food police was going to be trouble. (See “Pardon Me Waiter There’s a Fly in My Soup!”)

Butt we’ll  have to deal with that issue tomorrow. Today we’ve got a presidential election to win, so let’s get back on the campaign trail with Lady M. Yesterday she defended Big Bird, which seems to be our central campaign message this week,


For the event we wore a recycled paisley/dot wrap dress, last seen at a 2011 National Medal of Arts and Humanities ceremony:

mo leesburg 5mo mixed print medal of arts and humanities

We ditched the brown suede boots though. Too casual for a serious campaign.

Butt uh oh! That pesky little-eye is back! Better cut back on some of our morning meds.

mo leesburg2

The new polls showing a little bump for Team Romney are unexpectedly robust, butt bear in mind they are not officially sanctioned. And we have already established that Romney lies about everything, so he’s probably lying about this too.

axelrodLiar, liar, liar, liar!

Butt let’s get back to the campaign, shall we? Remember when somebody said:

“If you don't have a record to run on,


then you paint your opponent as someone people should run from.

war on women94355820-romney-ryan war on women

“You make a big election about small things.”

big bird o

Sheesh! Team-WON is not making this WON easy for us.

It might be helpful if I point out to Axe-man and the others that, as I first reported last year, it’s important to keep in mind that for every action there is a reaction:

So what have we learned today, boys and girls?

  1. Everyone has the right to sell their soul
  2. The value may not be what you think it is
  3. Past performance is no guarantee of future results
  4. All results are final


Or, as analyst Rachel Rothman so succinctly noted: “When concepts lose their resonance with customers it doesn’t come back quickly.”

Of course, she was talking about the Darden restaurants at the time, butt still…Pee-Uuu! This stinks.


Then again, polls aren’t always indicative of future results either:

calvin-dad-poll_thumb2_thumb_thumbcompliments of Bill Watterson and Universal Press Syndicate

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Tuesday, October 9, 2012

“ROCK” the vote – for ROMNEY!?! WTF?


obama implosionAll this for a damn debate!?!

Ay yi yi! This is bad news. It might be time to unleash our secret weapon.

mo forward“Here I come to save the day!”

We may have to backpedal a little on the new “aw schucks, I’m just the wife around here” persona that Lady M just recently crafted:

"I rarely step foot in the West Wing,” Obama told "Nightline" anchor Cynthia McFadden. “In fact, people are shocked when they see me there. I rarely walk in that office because the truth is, he's got so many wonderful advisers. He's got a phenomenal cabinet. He's got people who are in the trenches on these issues every single day, and I'm kind of stepping in and out, and I've got my own set of issues."

As she told ABC’s Nightline yesterday, before adding:

"So I don't even have the kind of expertise and the time in to be able to provide the kind of advice and guidance that he's already getting."

Here’s the problem: nobody else, including BO, seems to have that kind of expertise either. Which may explain the bad advice and guidance the Preezy’s been getting lately:

Lie about the strength of the Taliban following OBL’s death, lie about the guns walkin’ across the border, lie about the attack on our embassy and the death of our Ambassador, lie about Romney lying…I’m beginning to spot a pattern here. Maybe we do need to broaden our strategy a little beyond HOPE.

Hey! I’ve got it! How about this: cue the Big Bird ad! 

mo big birdSo take that Mitt!

Make no mistake, Big Guy’s been given some really bad advice and guidance lately. Maybe he should have followed his own good advice and appointed Big Dawg to “Secretary of explaining stuff.”

bill reporting Bubba, reporting for duty

Butt all the bad advice? That’s not the most concerning part. What’s keeping me awake at night these days are BO’s increasingly dangerous delusions of grandeur. Even our own team members are beginning to take note:

“And we are told that when Obama left the stage that night, he was feeling good.”

Boy, this can’t be good: with your head that far up our a$$ in the sand you might miss some important in-coming calls, like “Our embassy in Benghazi is burning! Send help, pronto!” 

And if it’s true Big Guy missed that call, you can just bet that Team Romney will try to make hay out of it. They’re still mad at Team Obama for accusing Mitt of killing that woman 4 years after her husband lost his job at a steel company Bain Capital was trying to save. So I don’t think I have to point out where they could go with this Benghzi-gate thing do I?

And now we hear the polls are tipping against Big Guy. Could it be that Kid Rock is actually a reflection (blush) of what the American people are feeling? That they are proud this country elected its first Black President, butt they just wish he would have done a much better job?

(with apologies on Kid Rock’s behalf to TOTUS)

Sheesh! That kind of independent thinking is going to land us into a dung pile of trouble. Lady M better get her Lady Parts ® out there and start campaigning fast and furiously if she expects this robust, unexpected turn of events to turn around.

REno nv before debate mo

Butt for now, for your Tuesday listening pleasure, here’s a little tribute to the notion of being (and remaining) “Born Free” from the Kid:

Hey! That’s pure Michigan! Up North in the UP, eh?


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Monday, October 8, 2012

The Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria: Just Like Columbus, Boatloads of Gold Arrive From Across the Pond.

It’s the federal holiday previously known as Columbus Day, so there’s not much going on around town. Because Big Guy and Elizabeth Warren are charter members of the First Peoples anti-colonialist coalition, we’ve decided to follow Brown University’s lead and rename the second Monday in October “Fall Holiday.” We don’t have anything planned for the event, butt Lady M will be sporting her annual “Fall Holiday” costume anyway.

mocahontas copy“We’re all Fauxcahontos now”

In case you were wondering, the fundraisers were a huge success yesterday. First a private soiree at Jeffrey Katzenberg’s house for a dozen of our biggest bundlers (who shall remain nameless for their own protection), then on to the cheap seats ($250) “30 Days to Victory” concert at the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood, where Katy Perry performed:

katy perryDefinitely got the memo on appropriate First Peoples “Fall Holiday” attire

Among thousands of other stars and donors were two very lucky ladies who just happened to be from two battleground states: they were the winners of the “Meet TWO Presidents” campaign sweepstakes! Imagine the thrill of being in the same room with both those guys!

bill bo clinton initative“Ah swear to you, Buddy, Katy said she was wearing her blue hair tonight too!”

Katy_PerryKaty, bedazzled in cobalt

After that pit stop, we moved right along to the really big money ($25,000/plate) at Wolfie’s “WP24” which stands for “Wolfgang Puck, 24th floor of the Hollywood Ritz Carlton.” If Big Guy had a restaurant it would look just like that, only it would be named after himself of course:

white-houseBO1600: serving only locally sourced organic produce and Wagu beef

From there, it’s on to San Fran for Big Guy to pick up more bags of gold (almost $7 million just yesterday!) at a $20,000/plate dinner. It sure costs a lot to run a campaign these days. The good news is despite that little slip up in Denver we’re still on track to raise the $1 billion Messina promised, despite all the whining and crying wolf. I guess it worked.

Just don’t ask where it came from. Apparently solicitation of and contribution by foreign nationals is illegal in America! Who knew? Butt since I understand it looks like we’re going to hit our goal anyway we are planning to save money by shutting down our offices in Beijing, Mumbai, Singapore, Moscow and Saudi Arabia anyway. It’s sort of like closing our embassy in Syria, it just seems the prudent thing to do now.

And speaking of the campaign, you won’t be seeing Joey B on the trail for a few days even though he is the gift that keeps giving. Apparently he’s being punished for Big Guy’s poor showing in Denver and has been sent to his room to cram for his own debate – not that he needs it any more than Big Guy.

President-Barack-obama_VP-Joe_Biden_“Don’t worry Big Guy, I’ve got your back.”

Lady M will hit the trail running again tomorrow to re-tell her love story with Buhrock for the umpteenth time, and remind people of all the wonderful things he’s done since he got to Washington.

As Big Guy himself summed it up last night:

“We’re not finished yet. And I’m a big believer in closing the deal.”

“You will see me working as hard as I’ve ever worked for the next three years” he continued, before catching himself – “the next 30 days. It will seem like 3 years. And then you’ll see me working as hard as I ever had for the next four years.”

bo wash crumbles“You will see me working as hard as I’ve ever worked for the next three years”

111228-obama-economic-record“the next 30 days. It will seem like 3 years.

reg and bo“And then you’ll see me working as hard as I ever had for the next four years.


121007-deficit-charth/t Doug Ross                          That’s the problem.

So don’t anybody let up just yet. There’s still time to turn this whole thing upside down. If Hugo can do, so can we! YES WE CAN!

hugo bo frown smileTurn that old smirk frown upside down

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