Saturday, November 12, 2011

A day of do-overs

It was a big day of do-overs, beginning with Lady M’s first re-do of her first Veterans Day wreath laying ceremony at Arlington Cemetery. I think you’ll all agree with me that this time was a big improvement.

             we do learningarlington


           vets daya hair2jpg



This lovely upholstered ottoman  was last seen accompanying a black sheath in attendance at the funeral of Joey B’s Mom (you remember Joey B’s feisty Mom: the last person on earth who could tell Joey to put a plug in it and make it stick. May she rest in peace.)

After the Arlington photo-op, we left immediately to attend the NCAA basketball game between the Michigan State Spartans (Go Green!) and the North Carolina Tar Heels (Go, uh, tar???) on the deck of the USS Carl Vincent docked in Coronado. Since it was still Veterans Day: Lady M arrived for the big game on the USS Carl Vinson, wearing her “I Red heart the military” sweater, along with her “I Red heartthe military too” hubby, wearing his George W Bush bomber jacket.

bomo saluteH/T Vanceboro

                           BUSH-FLIGHTJACKETmiss me yet

Parts of Lady M’s Pippi Longstocking-meets-Gumby outfit were do-overs too:

            bomobomo everybody's happy

Don’t recognize the parts? Look closer at the jacket lapels:

boso vinson

Recognize it?


I swear, I really thought that jacket wound up in the “burn this, I’m never wearing it again!” pile long ago. Butt apparently it survived the Bad-Carla memory hole and when Lady M recently regained her youthful figure thanks to her pre-re-election Slim-Fast&Purge® diet and exercise program, she pulled it out for a rematch.

No wait: I take that back. She did burn it, last night’s jacket was a complete re-do – with bigger buttons to make it look more like a Navy pea coat. I get it!

carla_bruni-michelle_obamaI would have burned it too

I think she kept the slacks though. Along with that cheeky attitude that everyone admires so.

bomo vinson tongue in cheek

Butt wait! We’re still not ready to call it a day! On to Hawaii for another round of sacrificin’ at the APEC. And look! One last wardrobe change and do-over before calling it a day.


Oh whoops! My mistake. This one isn’t a do-over either. Due to the lateness of the hour, the darkness of the tarmac and the shortage of spare parts for my light and humidity adjusting circuits, I thought it was Lady M’s cheapo little number from the White House/Black Market collection that she wore back when we were “just like you.” You know, back during the 2008 campaign?

viewJoy, MO and Babwah: just like you and me

So I guess only one of our recycle efforts was an actual do-over. The other two were more of a derivative homage to the original concept.

Sort of like our “WTF: Re-elect Obama 2012”  is a derivative homage to our “WTF: Elect Obama 2008” effort. The first time was great, but the second time is going to be – if I may quote the esteemed Democratic strategist, Chris Rock, on this - “gangsta s***!”


WTF 2008 - WTF 2012



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Friday, November 11, 2011

Plan to Save the Country: Soldiers optional. Ditto, tools, books, magazines and property reviews (?).

I would like to begin today by saluting all of our brave men and women who are or ever have served in our Armed Forces. You make me – and millions like me - proud to be an American. My sincerest thanks for your brave service.




And Lady M says she’s proud to be an American too, even if it did take her awhile. So now she’s, like, all about supporting the military. Take yesterday for example: her keynote address to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce's Business Steps Up: Hiring our Heroes event.

Chamber of Commerce fourth annual event on hiring military veterans,2

“Today, America’s businesses have stepped forward with pledges to hire 100,000 veterans and military spouses by 2014.  That’s right:  100,000.  (Applause.)  That’s 100,000 jobs.  That’s 100,000 veterans and spouses who will have the security of a paycheck and a good career.  That’s thousands of families that can rest just a little bit easier every night.”

Wow! That’s great! I think that’s more jobs than Big Guy has created or saved in 3 1/2 years. Let’s hear it for Lady M! And a small nod for the Chamber’s members too, who will be creating those job opportunities. Assuming they don’t go bankrupt before they get a chance to do so.

BTW, this is Lady M’s “commerce” frock. She first wore it way back in January of 2010 (remember those heady days?) when she dropped by the Department of Commerce to raise employee morale. She hasn’t worn it much since then because it had grown a bit snug until our “Are You In” WTF 2012 re-election starvation diet kicked in. That, and the fact Lady M finds the buttons, biased to the right, disorienting.

amayors2Department of Commerce, 2010

Also, I thought you would want to know about this week’s second test of the Government Emergency System: the emergency debt reduction plan. This one’s posted on our very own Big White site, under “The President’s Save Award.”

“What is that MOTUS?”  I’m glad you asked. It’s our save-the-country plan where Government by Executive Fiat meets government by (liberal) consensus:

Screenshot Studio capture #319

Rick Perry had a few good ideas on how the government could do its job better for less money at the debate the other night, butt he could only remember 2 of them. One that he did remember was “eliminate the Commerce Department.” WaPo contacted Commerce to see how they felt about their elimination being a “good idea how government could save money.” They could not immediately be reached for comment since most of the department officials were en route to Hawaii for the APEC summit. (We’re going too! I love Hawaii! And I never once got to go there under any previous administration because approval for travel use to be way harder to get.)

Butt back to Big Guy’s big idea for big ideas. Since the Congressional Super Committee tasked with finding $1.2 trillion in deficit reductions doesn’t seem to be going very well, and because

Screenshot Studio capture #322

Big Guy got his staff busy collecting good ideas for reducing the $14.5 trillion so he can do it himself. Because We Can’t Wait! Here’s what we’ve come up with so far (you get to choose! How transparent it that?):

cast your vote

only vote onceClick to embiggen and vote

So, on this 2011 Veterans Day, don’t forget to do your part: vote today for your favorite idea on how to help Big Guy cut our $14.5 trillion deficit so that we don’t have to gut our military as mandated by the brilliant bipartisan cop-out statute of August, 2011.

Unfortunately it appears - unlike all previous national lotteries – you’re only allowed to vote once. So choose wisely, weed hopper! I’m not trying to influence your vote, butt I just wanted to tell you that I voted for “creating a NASA tool lending library” because it’s getting harder and harder now to get appointments and spare parts when I need a tune-up. I’m thinking this might make it easier for me to “DIY”. Butt that’s just me: you should all vote your own conscience and/or self interest.

Sorry I wasn’t able to give you any heads up on the suspension of “Chicago Rules” for this vote. I came out of the blue. Probably a rookie on staff.

only vote onceI didn’t even see that one coming.



dis dress


BERLISCONI BIG Silvio, unemployed now, heard there may be an opening for a new ‘Body Man’

H/T Theo Spark Caption Contest by way of Fausta

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Thursday, November 10, 2011

CNBC: “They’re nuts. They’re Nuts! They know nothing!!!” UPDATED WITH BREAKING NEWS ON LOVE’S LOSS

Did you watch the R-word debate on CNBC? Seriously? Meet some of the moderators:

Maria “Money-Honey” Bartiromo:


Mario to Newt Gingrich:  “What is the media reporting inaccurately about the economy?” Newt: “What!!?”

John Harwood-political writer for the NYT (and CNBC Chief Political Correspondent).

John Harwood Meet The Press ve5pAJwc5JVl

John to Mitt Romney(paraphrased): Mr. Romney, would you hire Mr. Cain? Mitt: Stuff a sock in it, Mr. Harwood.

James “They know nothing! Nothing!” Kramer?


James to Ron Paul: “We’re not going to be done going down if this keeps going on, if Italy keeps — the rates keep going up. Surely you must recognize that this is a moment-to-moment situation for people who have 401(k)s and IRAs on the line and you wouldn’t just let it fail, just go away and take our banking system with it?” – Paul (paraphrased): Is there a question in there somewhere, Jim?

Seriously: when will they stop feeding the pet seals and schedule a real debate? We can’t wait!

Butt the debate was a lot of fun. Although it didn’t really settle anything except “which Republican candidate is most likely to lose a debate with Big Guy?” Rick Perry won that round, hands down. No clear winners, so lets just review the biggest losers of the night – in no particular order: the Federal Reserve, Fannie and Freddie, Dodd AND Frank, Rick Perry and Maria Bartioromo.

biggest loser

Here’s Maria last night: neither on-the-money nor looking much the Honey:


And speaking of winners and losers: put one in the W column for Lady M. This just in:  Reggie’s leaving!

President Barack Obama and personal aide Reggie Love walk along the Colonnade of the White House, Feb. 26, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Lawrence Jackson)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Don’t worry. It’s not what you think!!!!

Check back around noon for an exclusive, inside the Big White scoop on what’s really going down.

Now on to other pressing issues: Lady M has managed to squeeze in a little more sacrificin’ before she has to pack for our trip to Hawaii and Bali. She made an appearance with Disney “stars” in order to produce a just-in-time-Veterans Day promotional for our on-going Support For Military Families program.

Screenshot Studio capture #318Doug and Chris Brochu pose with Lady M and China Anne McClain

II have no idea who any of these “Disney stars” are or why they might be pertinent to Lady M’s “support our military” campaign platform - other than two of them have uncles who have served in the military. If you’re really curious, I guess you could Google it. Butt what I gathered from watching the public service announcement, she’s just encouraging kids to get to know kids from military families. She told them, “You might just make a new friend.” Because I guess otherwise kids would shun and discriminate against kids from military families. Maybe even pick on them. You know how kids are!

Say – this can serve as a twofer: Support our Military Families and our Anti-Bullying program! See what I mean about Lady M and the sacrificin’?

Don’t forget: Reggie Love departing the Big White. News at 11:00-ish.


OK here’s the MOTUS exclusive:

You may think it suspicious that both Chief of Staff Bill Daley and “Bodyman” Reggie Love announced they would be leaving the Big White by year end. Don’t go there. That’s what they WANT you to think! There will be rumors up the wazoo, butt here are the facts.

Reggie is leaving under good terms. In fact he’s being reassigned to a super-secret position vital to the interests of the WTF Obama 2012 campaign. So what I’m about to divulge is privileged information and should not be spread around the innertubz!

Remember when I told you yesterday that both Raj and I were busy working on another project? Well, Reggie’s been reassigned to work as chief mole for the WTF campaign at ground zero. That’s right: Chicago. So Raj has to get him up to speed like pronto, on how to hack into computers, install GPS tracking devices, and conduct iPhone and Android wiretaps.

For my part, I need to equip him with some of the basics involved in image distortion, deflection and refractions. Because sometimes when you can’t just collect the evidence you need through nefarious means, it must be fabricated from either partial truths or whole cloth.

Surprisingly, Reggie’s been a pretty quick study, considering he’s had no formal training and doesn’t even have a Masters degree in Political Campaigning like Debbie Wasserman-Schultz –who was the other leading candidate for the position. (And I don’t want to hear anything about Reggie being just an Affirmative Action selection. Reggie has Big Guy’s complete trust and confidence, and isn’t anywhere near as annoying to have around as DWS. Besides, she’s been a little negative lately.)

debbie and bo and axH/T BIGFURHAT

Nevertheless, we need to work with Reggie through the end of the year to ensure that he’s fully equipped with every tool known to modern campaign counter espionage once he’s officially launched as an Obama Operative.

Please keep all of this to yourself though, as the truth – as always - is likely to hamper the desired outcome. As far as the rest of the world has to know, Reggie’s departure is just the bittersweet end to a long and loving relationship. He just decided it was “time to move on.”

Here’s our little official retrospective, assembled from Big White footage. It’s being dedicated to “happier times.”

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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

We interrupt this program for a word from our sponsor…

Boy, with that horrific Penn state scandal just breaking, Lady M and Big Guy picked a bad day to embark on their “it’s all about the children” platform. I’m not suggesting there’s any connection of course butt, as you well know, it’s all about optics:

bo head start

Nevertheless, there was Big Guy, bravely meeting with the children at the Head Start program in Philadelphia, trying to convince people that he knows better than the Republicans how to get the economy off the ground.

scaring the childrenbo Your eyes are getting heavy, you are becoming very sleepy….”. H/T Gerard

“Now, let’s talk about the economy for a few minutes kids. See, if I take a little away from the millionaires and billionaires...”

Bo watchit it's gonna fall“See darlin’ – how much the rich have? They can afford to give a little bit more.”

“…and give it to the government to invest in my infrastructure projects…”

bo ohno its gonna crash“I don’t think that’s gonna work Mithder Prethident.”

Well, you could well be right, honey. Some projects may be flawed in concept and execution.


…and that may well result in catastrophic failure.

Butt that doesn’t mean we should stop trying, now does it!? And with enough resources, anything’s possible! Right? YES WE CAN!

legolongbridge1The Lego bridge to nowhere: if we fund it they can build it. File under “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

We’ll be working on those high-speed trains and internet off-ramps next.

For her part, Lady M was at Georgetown (cover the crosses) University to mentor high school students. Here I present exhibits 1a and 1b in the “why Big Guy and Lady M should never, ever speak without TOTUS” case:


Lady M:

"I mean this is scary," she said. "Shoot, being married to Barack Obama? He's got big plans. He's always pushing us beyond our comfort zones, and I'm dragged along going, `What's he doing now? No, not this.' [ed. welcome to our world, MO]

"One of my strengths was that I had a big mouth,”

Oh sure. Butt that’s not all that sets Lady M apart. I’m talking about her feet of course.

mo's feetThose exceptionally big feet must have come in handy too, with so many butts that needed to be kicked and all.

and I liked to talk a lot," she said, [ed. Thinking is so over-rated. Butt liking to hear yourself talk is a good qualification for public office, should she ever decide to run for something.] adding that she tells her own daughters not to be afraid to speak up.

She said her advice for college students is not to procrastinate, to ask for help and not to get into credit card debt. [ed. That part about not getting into credit card debt: maybe she could pass that good advice on to Big Guy]

"So in college buy what you can afford, which for most college students is nothing," she said [ed. as  noted above – good advice]


In keeping with her austerity program, Lady M wore recycled yesterday in a show of solidarity with the huddled masses of the OWIES.

           also practicingwa

Lady M in London last May in her Roksanda Ilincic blanket edge-stitched original

And here’s Big Guy demonstrating a similar problem in ad hoc conversation with Nicky last week:

The conversation then drifted to Netanyahu, at which time Sarkozy declared: “I cannot stand him. He is a liar.” According to the report, Obama replied: “You’re fed up with him, but I have to deal with him every day!”

The remark was naturally meant to be said in confidence, but the two leaders’ microphones were accidently [sic] left on, making the would-be private comment embarrassingly public.

Wow! That was bad: getting caught speaking out of school about another world leader.

whatAnd I think he’s a little squirrely too, Nicky.

Butt just imagine if the open mic had caught them exchanging private thoughts about the little women in their lives instead:

sarkozy_bruni_09Head for the hills, Nicky!

Now, as part of my monthly commitment to public service announcements, I want to advise you of an upcoming word from our sponsors this afternoon at 2:00 pm EST. FEMA and the FCC will launch the first ever nationwide test of the emergency alert system. This alert system, here-to-fore a local effort, will allow Big Guy to address the entire nation simultaneously in the event of a national crisis: such as if the exit polling next November 6 indicates that the R-word is holding a commanding lead over our Dear Leader and the election has to be cancelled.

bo big screamBecause, YES. WE CAN.

classics_legosAnd no, you can’t.

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