Saturday, June 23, 2012

The most arrogant man in the world invites himself to your wedding

If you believe your ideology and rhetorical skills alone can resolve a deeply ideological conflict that has been raging for millennia in the Middle East:

“After decades of accepting the world as it is in the region, we have a chance to pursue the world as it should be.”  Barack Hussein Obama

you might just be the most arrogant man in the world.

h/t: Fausta

Butt here’s an offer that seals the deal on that honor:  the Campaign to Give the Gift that keeps Giving Website is now open for business:  The Obama Event Registry!

boevent registeryh/t: Weasel Zippers

It’s very simple: Do you have an event coming up between now and November 6th? You know, a wedding, birthday, anniversary, baby shower or any other gifting occasion? If you do, Big Guy is offering you the opportunity to make history by letting him occupy your gift table.

As several of you have pointed out, it’s unfortunate that we didn’t have this in place before Valjar’s daughter’s wedding last weekend. That would have produced a real haul - I heard Tony Rezco gave the newlyweds a house!

Now let’s not get all wee-weed up. Unlike greedy vulture capitalists who just want to make as much money as possible, Big Guy’s fund raisers have limited the amount you can ask your guests to contribute overall to just $1,000,000. However, I was not aware of that limit when, being a capitalist pig myself, I registered the only BIG event I have scheduled for 2012:


So I guess I’ll have to file a revised form, butt never let it be said that I don’t think BIG.

Of course all of you are invited and I HOPE you’ll be there and contribute while you still can!

motus romney page-wm-updated copy

I have a feeling this may be a limited-time offer

motus #ObamaEventRegistry


Anyway, in case you’re invited to a wedding this summer and the bride and groom are too selfish to set up a Big Guy registry, here’s another thoughtful wedding gift I’ve heard about: a subscription to That way your future children can avoid the embarrassment of finding out the hard way that all those old family rumors about great-great-great-great granny being a slave or an Indian princess aren’t actually true.


mo princess pocohantas fall holiday gown copyNative Indian Princess Mocohontas: Where do you think she got those high cheekbones?

Butt getting back to Big Guy’s suggestion that you give your wedding presents to him. It’s really not all that arrogant when you think about it. Because you’re really not worthy. And he is.

Still, I’m not sure this send-us-your-wedding-gifts plan is such a hot idea. I know Big Guy likes his waffles.

obama-eating-wafflesJust let me eat my waffle, man

Butt really, how many waffle irons can he use?

I have a bad feeling about this registry anyway. I know an awful lot of people who sent a gift for the Won’s last wedding. Butt since they don’t believe that his union with the American people was consummated in the traditional manner, they want to take their gift back for a refund, and aren’t likely to be sending a second one for another wedding. At least that’s what I hear.

barack-obama-whoops-buyers-remorseDon’t do it again

Linked By: Maggie’s Notebook, and  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,  and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and @AnnieLaurie76 on twitter, and Lalaa Land on facebook, and DeniseVB on White House Dossier, Thanks!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Molsterman Report #1: DOJ’s Fast and Furiously Expanding Scandal

Since I introduced you to “Deep Quote” yesterday, I thought it might be fun to start today’s post with a fun quote from JoeyB.  I know, all of Joey’s quotes are fun – however this one is a real gem as he succinctly illustrates his own point:

"...microphones are always hot, and understand that in Washington, D.C., a gaffe is when you tell the truth. So, be careful."

It’s no wonder Washington is so obsessed with avoiding gaffes.

joey b four wordsForwards: Win Won Four the Gaffer

Anyway, I recently had the opportunity to sit down with “Deep Quote” - as he’s known to the rest of the world, or Little Mo as he’s known to the MOTUS community - to find out what he’s discovered about the DOJ Fast and Furious scandal so far. Our first interview was brief, as he’s still getting a lay of the land over at Justice:



And his tunnels haven’t yet met EPA and OSHA standards required to receive his permits:

3832_tunnel_safetyGovernment agency approved tunnel

Here’s the first of perhaps several installments of the Molesterman Report (h/t and apologies to the Ulsterman Report)


the molsterman report copy

MOTUS: So, what have you been able to dig up for my readers today Little Mo “Deep Quote?”

DQ: Well so far, all I’ve been able to determine while digging around here is that there are a whole lot of documents missing. No one willing to say exactly where they are, or what might have happened to them, but I can tell you there’s a new, large SEIU operation set up here.

MOTUS: What are you implying?

DQ: Nothing really. You’re smart enough to connect the dots for yourself. Last week a 150 member SEIU “storage” team showed up on site to “store” thousands of documents. And then, coincidentally, 10 new industrial strength shredders just showed up and they’re operating 24/7. I haven’t seen anything like this since ENRON.


MOTUS: So you think they’re destroying evidence related to Fast and Furious?

DQ: I didn’t say that did I? I’m just saying a whole s*#% load of documents have gone missing so far, we’re burning up the new shredders and garbage haulers are lined up around the clock and down the block. You tell me.


document management truckShred%20Day2

MOTUS: Well, have you gotten close enough to determine what the documents headed into the shredders contain?

DQ: Not yet. I’m still waiting to get my SEIU credentials. Until they come through, I can’t get within 20 feet of the “storage” operation.

SEIU-OWS-Marxism-Redefined1New SEIU membership cards: the Soprano edition

MOTUS: Maybe I can help, Big Guy knows all the top SEIU brass, I could have him pull a few strings.

DQ: No, don’t do that. Too dangerous. You don’t want to get your reflections anywhere near this crap, these people are not amateurs, like Big Guy.

MOTUS: OK. Butt what do you mean an “amateur, like Big Guy?”


DQ: Pulling that “Executive Privilege” stunt the other day - pure amateur hour.

MOTUS: How so?

DQ: Well, let’s just say that this has diverted a lot of attention away from DOJ’s vital top priority document “storage” operation. Now they’ve had to divert precious resources to work on the legal strategy for justifying executive privilege for withholding documents from Congress. Think about it: claiming executive privilege for documents that neither Big Guy nor Ricky know anything about, that contain information on things they are not doing, that may, never-the-less, come to light at a later date if we don’t get this document “storage”  operation kicked into high gear. It’s all just a big amateur s*#% sandwich. A pro would have had all these documents disappeared months ago, without any lingering evidence laying around.


MOTUS: I see your point. What happens next?

DQ: Can’t stay for sure, but I think I have to go underground for a few days to root around and see where all this leads. Don’t try to contact me, the cell service isn’t very good in the tunnels. I’ll contact you when I dig anything else up.

MOTUS: OK, Little Mo Deep Quote. Be careful down there.

DQ: Don’t worry about me, I’ve worked with rat holes like this in the past, and I know what I’m dealing with. It’s you that I’m worried about. I know you feel you have to reflect this, but be sure to put your refractors up so it doesn’t bounce back to you. The operatives: they’re the tailors that wove the magic thread that made the crisply creased slacks that send tingles up the legs of professionals. They are much, much smarter than the Amateur Emperor. So stay cloaked.

MOTUS: I understand. I’ll do my job.

Jan. 20, 2009
ÒPresident-elect Barack Obama was about to walk out to take the oath of office. Backstage at the U.S. Capitol, he took one last look at his appearance in the mirror.Ó
(Official White House photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

(NOTE: My legal pack advises me that I should note that the above is not an actual interview butt rather a compressed composite of various figments of my imagination: like Julia and Big Guy’s autobiographies.)

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and NACHUMLIST, Thanks!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Announcing Little Mo’s new assignment

If MOTUS had a mole in the Department of Justice, he wouldn’t look like one of Big Guy’s sons, butt he might look like this:

little mo press hatLittle Mo, as he received his first Press credentials.

If you don’t remember how Little Mo came to live with us in the Big White, following is a brief retrospective of his career.

Little Mo’s first public appearance: Moles, Polls and Controlled Fat Rolls:

imageMole runs past Big Guy in the Rose Garden while he’s yammering about the Wall Street mess.

Which occurred shortly after our first big Mexican fiesta, Primer Fiesta Mexicano Histórico:

. . .  Bayless will serve a 28-ingredient Oaxacan black mole at the state dinner . . .

Moles? For dinner? And black ones at that!?!

It was back then that Big Guy first advised President Calderone about our Operation Fast and Furious – because he wouldn’t think of launching such an operation without first advising and getting the go ahead from our good neighbor.

          duo presidentesfelipe Calderon

Then there was this 4th of July appearance, Home For the Holiday- Feliz Quarto De Julio – when Lady M punished me and Little Mo just because I asked for a raise:

Anyway, the long and short of it is Lady M decided to send me and Little Mo back to the Big White to weed and water the Big White Organic Garden of Versus in order to give our illegal Mexicans the rest of the Quarto de Julio weekend off. Which I think is not only vindictive (I only asked for a 5% raise, and my health insurance alone went up 160% – more if I had opted for the extended warranty), butt also kind of silly since none of our illegal gardeners are real citizens, and therefore don’t really have the right to celebrate our independence. Do they?

Don’t worry though, Little Mo got even:

moleholesMoleholes in Lady M’s precious sweet potatoes

And here we have Little Mo’s first official Big White undercover mole report (and definitely worth a revisit – an all time fave) : Republicans - On A Train Bound For Nowhere:

As Boehner reached for another Marlboro, the door between cars opened and a shadowy figure,wearing a Stetson, slowly walked in past the security guards. Stunned, they sat in silence as the man sat down in the seat across from them and stared out the window...

And you may remember when we enjoyed this special birthday treat that Chef whipped up:

(Chef Comfy) did surprise all of us last month with this really weird, and I must say, tasty dish for Little Mo’s birthday.

pastitsio “Mole Hole” House Special

Comfy really showed us her “Wise Philappina” empathy by making Little Mo a special dish that traced back to his authentic garden roots. He had the time of his life racing through the tunnels…

And then there was this heart stopping moment when Little Mo got tangled up in the root structure of one of Lady M’s peacock tails at our summer harvest:  Peacock Blue. And Green. All Organic: 

 little Mo in fennel watermark

That’s Little Mo, inside the blue circle. You remember:  he escaped from the whirling jaws of Ricky’s blender at the big State Mole Fiesta dinner we threw for Felipe who came to town to tell us how to  operate our open border more effectively. Don’t worry, Little Mo  escaped from Ricky’s kitchen and Big Guy’s speech (something no one else has done so far) so he had no problem hauling tail out of Lady M’s roots. As a precaution though, I’m placing MO’s toxic garden off limits on harvest days.


Well, I mention all of that “on background” only so you realize how inherently qualified Little Mo is for his new and so far most critical assignment: providing us with information on deep background from within the Department of Justice itself. I think this may be the only way we get to the bottom of the this current Fast and Furious Executive Privilege maneuver. And since we here at the Big White are committed to being completely transparent, we will use whatever means possible to deliver on that promise. 

So say goodby to Little Mo for a bit, we won’t be seeing him again for awhile.


Butt we will be hearing from him. Little Mo will be ensconced clandestinely - deep within the bowels of the DOJ – and will be providing exclusive, anonymous reports to MOTUS readers using the moniker “Deep Quote.” 

Because remember: if you can squelch a story on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and Ms.NBC you can squelch it anywhere (except, of course, on FOX and the loony rightwing blogs).

So stay tuned…

Oh! I almost forgot in the midst of the big news. Lady M addresses the loving crowds in Colorado wearing her $35 election year H&M special after a trip to the Singer:


Lady M in her signature Mokadots

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Putting our best foot FORWARD: Executive Privilege 101

Wow! Yesterday was a video-rich environment. I won’t post the Big-Guy-gum-chewing G-80/20 conference because it’s everywhere. All I can say is that everyone in the Big White is greatly relieved that the economic summit was held in Mexico instead of Singapore.

Anyway, first up, here’s Lady M on LIVE with Kelly showing off her Double Dutch skills (funny, I knew she was 1/32 Irish, but had no idea she was Dutch too. Although that would explain her chocolate cravings.)

Taped on May 30. With Kelly AND Bryant Gumbel!

mo on live

Don’t get excited: the mini-me does NOT match the bright blue slacks.

Screenshot Studio capture #578

O/T butt remember when Bryant used to be somebody?


And Kelly had her hair combed before going on the air with famous guests?


Ever since Big Guy’s historic election, we’ve been working on lowering making standards more, uh, accessible. Which means they need to be more flexible. In order to level the playing field. Or something. Ya know?

bo constitutionLook, I taught a class in civil rights law, so I’ll tell you how to interpret it

And what could benefit from a little flexibility more than that old decrepit constitution of ours, written by dead white guys?

Anyway, back to the video evidence that our administration is doing everything in our power to stimulate the economy: here’s Dr. Jilly lingerie shopping in Chicago last weekend with no concern for her own personal safety despite all the murder and mayhem occurring around her. I know you’ve seen the video, butt I just want to point out the extent to which Lady M has influenced Dr. Jill. Not only has MO’s passion for healthy eating military families economic recovery rubbed off on Dr. Jill, persuading her to shop like the 1% at expensive lingerie shoppes, butt she’s also adopted Lady M’s practical  headfirst technique for mounting an SUV:

Screenshot Studio capture #579

Although, to be fair – and we’re all about fairness – Dr. Jill did use the running board and did put her left leg in first, sit and then gracefully draw the other leg in. I guess you just can’t teach some people how to be fashion forward: you’re either born with it or you’re not.

Butt getting back to the violence in Rahm’s Chicagoland: can you believe it? 7 dead, 35 wounded - just last weekend! I know it has nothing to do with the fact that Illinois, unlike almost every other of the 57 states, makes it nearly impossible to own a gun…unless you’re a criminal. Is it any wonder that our Attorney General wants to demonstrate that all those guns coming in from Mexico (or is that the other way around? I get confused) via the Fast and Furious program are reason enough to eliminate that pesky Second Amendment right to bear arms.

And Ricky feels so strongly about disarming law-abiding citizens that he’s even willing to con the American people to state on the record that he’s done nothing to deceive, mislead or stonewall Congress. As is always the case in these situations, it depends on what your meaning of “deceive” “mislead” and “stonewall” is. Apparently Big Guy and Ricky don’t see it the same way as Congress so I guess we’re going to have that unseemly contempt vote later today. Unless the R-words accept Big Guy’s latest scam dodge bluff  move granting Ricky Executive Privilege. Although, if Ricky hasn’t done anything to “deceive, mislead or stonewall” the Congressional committee, what precisely does he need an Executive Privilege for?

eric bo who himHe’s with me, so he gets a pass, got it? ‘Cuz I WON.

Well, it’s going to be another scorcher butt that isn’t going to keep Lady M and JoeyB from their appointed rounds, Joey in New Orleans and MO in Colorado.

At Lady M’s event yesterday, it was standing room only:

mo crowded roomApparently someone forgot to order the chairs

And whoa! What’s this?

mo crowded room

I thought Adidas pulled these “slave shoes” from the shelves.


Well, it’s not as if el Rushbo didn’t try to warn them.

I’m just afraid all the racist pressure coming at us is beginning to get to Lady M. Whenever she’s stressed, that little eye thing that Suzette first brought to my attention, comes back:

mo little eyeAnd I failed to notice in time to fix it yesterday

This time it was accompanied by that famously pinched face.

I know it’s going to be hot, butt I think I’ll wear my special quilted coat today anyway.

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Making the world a more dangerous place one lie at a time.

Being president of the free world just got a little easier! Apparently Vladimir decided that Big Guy shouldn’t have to shoulder the burden of being the world’s only superpower and just went ahead and sent warships to Syria without even checking in with BO first. So that “reset” button that Big Guy was so hot to push with Russia? Looks like Vlady went ahead and pushed it himself. And now Vlady isn’t even returning Big Guy’s phone calls.

That’s another historical first!


So, when was the last time an American president was “lectured” by a Russian president? Like, never, right? I wonder if Dmitry forgot to tell Vlady that Big Guy would have more flexibility to disarm America and throw Europe under the bus after his re-election?

putinobama3Nah, nah, na-nah nah! I can’t hear you!

So there’s something else we can check off the old to-do list: “eliminate America’s Superpower status.” Done.

bo hu jintaoNow everyone can see BO as the big old smiley cream puff he really is

So with the new world order firmly in place, Big Guy’s freed up to tend to more pressing matters of domestic social engineering. Like hosting the annual LGBT Pride reception in the Big White, where he basked in their Pride.

bo feelin the loveSmile at me BO, smile at ME!

PrideCookieChef even made special rainbow cookies for the affair

Oh, and in case you were busy de-linting your dryer vent or something and missed last week’s LGBT reception, don’t worry: I’ve got the video tape highlight! It’s a wedding proposal! And if this doesn’t just make you proud to be an American again, I don’t know what would. Watch as transgendered Scout proposes to partner Liz (unspecified sexual preference butt I’m guessing either L or B) at the Big White’s LGBT reception last Friday:

WATCH the proposal (skip to 1:55): I promise, it will make you PROUD (and loud)

A transgender man made a bold move on Friday during an extravagant White House reception in honor of LGBT Pride Month: he dropped down on one knee and proposed to his partner.

Scout, whose full name is legally one word, popped the question to Liz Margolies just minutes after President Barack Obama addressed the guests, many of whom are leaders in the LGBT community…

gay pride day receptionI can tell

Has there ever been a more inclusive White House than the one Big Guy has built?

So anyway, on a completely different news front, I see that Roger Clemens was acquitted of lying to Congress about using steroids. Seriously; I wonder how much that 10 week trial cost taxpayers? That, plus the cost of John Edwards trial on charges of being sleazy, could fund almost any banana republic’s dictator for a year or more.

Butt let’s discuss the seriousness of the underlying accusation against Clemens:

On a scale of 1-10, is lying to Congress about steroid use worse than a candidate for the U.S. Senate lying about Native American status to obtain special privileges?

Or is it worse than the Labor Department lying to the public about the unemployment number for 3 1/2 years?  Despite their ongoing assurances that the private sector is busily creating jobs, now we find out that for the net 100,000 jobs that have been created, we’ve actually had 7.4 million workers that have dropped out of the job market! If I have my math right, that’s 7.3 million fewer Americans working now than 3 1/2 years ago! It’s so bad that apparently even Julia decided to drop out:

Screenshot Studio capture #573Because “standing up for her right to equal pay” is irrelevant if you don’t have a job

Butt back to the discussion of “how serious is it?” - Is a baseball player lying to Congress about pumping up with steroids a bigger deal than a president lying to the media? And the media pumping him up?

“The media is worse than a bunch of corrupt sycophants. It is an institution that wants to be used.”

Or is lying to Congress about performance enhancing drugs worse than violating your oath to uphold the constitution?

Florida-rules-obamaCare-unconstitutionalIf you don’t like the constitution you’ve got, you can CHANGE it!

And finally, is lying to Congress about using steroids to hit home runs better, or worse, than lying to Congress about walking guns? Is it better or worse than being in contempt of Congress?  (I’ll carve out an exception for ordinary taxpayers being held in contempt of Congress, as they have every right to be contemptuous.)

I don’t profess to have the answers to any of the questions raised above. Butt I suspect we’ll all find out given time.

    eric-the withholderbo economy briefing

Disingenuous or just Dyspeptic? I report, you deride.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and Sally A. McCann on facebook, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Monday, June 18, 2012

And now a personal message from @MichelleObama: @POTUS hpy fr’s day, xo, FLOTUS+ww1+ww2

Lady M had to fly to Oregon on Father’s Day to give Oregon State’s  commencement address:

Screenshot Studio capture #571

She got her own hoodie when she received an “honorary doctorate in public health for her work as first lady on fighting childhood obesity and improving health.”

Screenshot Studio capture #572

As she always does on these occasions, she nagged lectured counseled the kids to follow their hearts instead of the almighty dollar: that demon piston of capitalism. She illustrated her point with personal stories about herself and big brother Craig, because we should all have personal heroes to emulate:

“We still had all the traditional markers of success with a fat paycheck, the fancy office, the impressive lines on our resumes,” the first lady told a crowd of about 30,000, including 5,000 graduates. “But the truth is, neither of us was all that fulfilled.”

“I was living the dream, but it wasn’t my dream,” Obama said. “Craig felt the same way, unbeknownst to me.”

Eventually, both left their lucrative jobs for other passions. Obama went to work for the Chicago mayor, Robinson to coach basketball.

“Success is only meaningful and enjoyable if it feels like your own,” Obama said.

This phenomenon is also known as the “imposter syndrome” – the feeling that you aren’t  qualified for your position and live in a state of consequent fear of exposure and failure.

imposter1One of these is not like the others

While it’s said to effect qualified people too, it most often effects  people who have good reason to feel inadequate: they are woefully unprepared for the position they have somehow managed to snag through over-inflated credentials or influential contacts. Butt I digress, this is certainly not pertinent to Lady M or brother Craig.

Obama also advised graduates to keep in close touch with the family and friends who are important to them, saying she never missed a chance to tell her father she loved him before he died from complications of multiple sclerosis. She fought tears as she recalled her mother’s assurances that her father was proud to be her dad.

“Liking them on Facebook doesn’t count,” she said. “Nor does following then (sic) on Twitter. What counts is making the time to be there in person.”

(Let the record reflect that Lady M wished the Wee Wons’ father a “Happy Father’s Day” via Twitter: "Thinking of two fathers I love dearly—the one who raised me and the one I married. Incredibly grateful for both. –mo,"  Tweeted from Lady M’s  @MichelleObama account) The Wee Wons had to tweet him as well, as Big Guy was on the golf course for a little R&R time (5 hours) with the boys before taking to the skies for Los Cabos and a little one-on-one time with Puti at the G-80/20 conference.

Just one more example of the seemingly endless sacrifices both Lady M and Big Guy are required to make for us and the country. I don’t know how we’ll ever thank them properly.

expresident obama

By the way, here’s a few pictures from last month’s photo roundup of the Wons’ sacrifices, in case you missed any of them (h/t Blonde Gator):

dancin'Dancin’ (as I mentioned last week, at least they’re not wearing bathing suits)




Virginia tech hokie stone touch moTouchin’

The above may require a little explanation. Lady M is touchin’ Virginia Tech’s Hokie Stone for luck, as is the tradition, when she was there to deliver the commencement address last month.

Fittingly, Virginia Tech’s motto is “invent the future” - a natural progression from Big Guy’s personal mottoes of “invent the past” and “invent the present.”

Anyway try not to get these two mixed up; that’s “Hokie” -

Football players touching Hokie Stone in tunnel; VT vs. DukeVT players touching the “Hokie Stone” for good luck

not Hopey:


To be clear, Virginia Tech’s Hokie Stone is primarily dolomite, a sedimentary rock formed from calcium and magnesium carbonate that occurs in muted shades of pink, red, gray, brown, and black. Butt I guess it is easily confused with the Hopey Buh-rock which is primarily a socialite, a sedentary rock formed from an axiom and sodium bicarbonate that occurs in muted shades of white, brown and black.

los cabos bo

The only thing they really have in common seems to be football.

bo spiking the footballMany Hail Mary’s have been offered up since BO got his hands on the ball

Oh, and I almost forgot. Because Lady M couldn’t be there in person yesterday, she made this little non-partisan home video promoting Big Guy Father’s Day. And let me just put all of you rightwing media nuts on notice: don’t even think about using this exploitative video of the innocent little pawns for your own purposes.

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!