The propagandaOrganizing For America arm is now fully staffed and running commentary, ads and buses 24/7. And our Big Union benefactors are in character, pretending to be dismayed by our lukewarm public support of the Wisconsin teacher’s union (who are all out sick), while secretly yucking it up over here at the Big White over rump roasts, tater tots, imported beer and Cohibas.
Our cute little lapdogs in the O-media are sitting back on their haunches with tongues hanging out begging for us to give them a scrub behind their ears. Even Rupert “the Rude’s” newest family member picked up on one of our “nothing up my sleeve” redirections and ran a puff piece on Chef Comfy ( that’s Big White head Chef Cristeta Comerford for anybody reading this blog just for the fashion forward news).
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against Comfy. In dealing with the Wons, she has to put up with almost as much as TOTUS and me. Although her crazy mad knife skills do give her an advantage that T and I don’t have.
She’s one of my pals around here and she certainly deserves her props. She keeps my little hotel refrigerator well stocked with curry for Raj, Vernors, root beer and ice cream for me and the Wee Wons and tons of vegetative scraps for Little Mo, all at Big White cost, which is much lower than retail. (I have to buy Little Mo’s special ‘grubs’ at retail since the bait shop doesn’t give any discounts and Comfy won’t order them in bulk. I don’t blame her, she doesn’t want to get blamed if one of them gets loose in the organic garden.)
But she did surprise all of us last month with this really weird, and I must say, tasty dish for Little Mo’s birthday.
“Mole Hole” House Special
Comfy really showed us her “Wise Philappina” empathy by making Little Mo a special dish that traced back to his authentic garden roots. He had the time of his life racing through the tunnels, butt he confided in me later that he really prefers his new Big White diet. I had to ask Chef what it was because I couldn’t find it on my hard drive (Raj has since installed a “World Recipe” pack). Maybe some of you will recognize it, I’ll give you a hint: it’s not Italian.
Anyhoo, the WSJ took the bait our team tossed in the water and we just reeled them in. Here’s my summary of the rather long article so you won’t have to read it unless you don’t want to:
Big Guy brings anextraordinarily talented minority chef from Chicago to his historic administration to createhealthy organic meals ofunprecedented quality, style and creativity that are served to world leaders as well as Big Union leaders with arobustflair that is alwaysunexpected. **
There was only one thing Comfy said in the article that I would disagree with. She said great cooking comes from “people who have an innate capacity to taste and see and smell.” I can go with the taste and see, but for the amount of time she spends around Lady M without even so much as a wrinkle of her nose, I’d have to question her “innate” sense of smell.
** If you want to write articles for one of our Big White “news” outlets, you have my permission to use this as a template. Just take out everything that isn’t italicized, and insert whatever topic you’re covering. You’re welcome.
Ok - Seal at least brought some soul to the East Room (who knew? I mean, he is British and all) but Nick Jonas, John Legend and Jamie Foxx? Please. No pipes, no chops, no fly zone. And look at that sloppy “choreography.” You could practically hear Berry Gordy’s teeth grinding above the din.
And can you envision Smokey Robinson with Sheryl Crow? If your answer is no, consider yourself lucky.
As you can see, the audience was having none of it, despite what you might read inUSA Today. Or the WaPo. (h/t Chick)
I sense that this might spell trouble for Big Guy: nobody seems to mind very much that the Won and his Chicago posse have screwed up the economy, the budget, the world’s greatest healthcare system, the war on terror, the Middle East, (he’s working on topping Jimmy Carter in this contest, as Jimmy only enabled the toppling of one ally, while Big Guy still has several left on the table – not even counting Israel – plus we’ve now got enemy ships patrolling around the Suez Canal) and foreign relations in general – butt messin’ with Motown? I don’t know, - that might raise a few eyebrows.
Lady M raises an eyebrow: I don’t know if this is true, but the street ministrels are saying that the Black-eyed Peas turned down the invitation to the Big White Motown Review. Bad call – if it’s true.
There will be consequences.
The big surprise was a performance by Stevie Wonder – and it was a surprise to him too. Although he is a real Motown recording artist, he wasn’t actually scheduled to perform. NPR didn’t think they had room for him on the lineup. (Plus he hasn’t had a new album out in years, so nothing to promote.) Butt apparently Big Guy didn’t have time to review the program ahead of time, what with that kerfuffle in the Middle East. When he saw Stevie in the audience, he just assumed he was there to perform (what else?) and since he was winging it last night sans TOTUS, he announced it to the crowd. Stevie, being a gentleman, didn’t want to make Big Guy sound like he didn’t know “what’s going on” so he threw in a little “sunshine” up his butt to wrap up the night. Unrehearsed, he was better than 95% of the rest of the “artists” performing a “tribute” to Motown. Well, see here for yourself:
Be sure to watch for Lady M at the end: we’re dressed head to toe in Motown inspired black taffeta: blouse, slacks, shoes, hair. A tad tight, butt that’s how they wore them back in the day – no obvious cleavage, sleeves, delicate jewelry. Not a bad job Koopie. Let’s give her a shout-out!
Big guy made a few opening remarks, explaining that with Black History Month coming to a close nothing could be more appropriate than a party honoring this "music that's at the heart of the American story."
"Motown is different. No one knows exactly when jazz began. Nobody knows who the first person was to sing a freedom song," said Obama. "But we know where Motown came from. We know it was born in the basement of a house on West Grand Boulevard in the Motor City -- Detroit.”
Of course,in order to appreciate it, it helps if you know a little something about the American story - and you don’t have to hesitate to figure out where the Motor City is. Butt never mind: at least BO got his soul shoes on and cut up the rug:
Finally, as you know, Lady M is a huge fan of the Queen of Soul, who couldn’t make it to the Big White Review as she’s still home recuperating from something. Butt she did make a Grammy cameo appearance from home, to ward off rumors of her death, and to show off her newly svelte bod:
Aretha’s Grammy 2011 appearance, left and pre-surgery, right
So Lady M and Koopie have been efforting some looks for Big Guy’s next historic inauguration, looking to use Aretha as an inspiration:
And if you don’t like the Aretha frock so much, at least let me know how you feel about the authentic ‘fro look for MO.
I’m not sure: I think it makes her look a little top heavy. Butt I like the pearls.
By now I’m sure you’ve heard that my Motown Review program lineup was vetoed in favor of one put together - with your money - by local PBS station WETA and certain Big White political operatives. Little Mo and I worked hard with Dewey from Dee-troit to select a set of artists and tunes that represent the best of the Motown tradition. When I saw the PBS lineup, I immediately suspected kickbacks and payola, like in the old days. Butt since that sort of thing is clearly forbidden by the Big White Ethics Rules and Regulations, I guess it’s just a coincidence that most of these performers coming tonight have new albums out, produced by studios that were so generous in their support of HOPE and CHANGE.
I think my program was probably a little too “Motown” and not enough “Downtown,” if you know what I mean. So in place of my all-Motown review we’re going to be entertained by the likes of Sheryl Crow, John Legend, Seal, Jamie Foxx, Natasha Bedingfield, John Legend, Nick Jonas, Gloriana and Jordin Sparks performing a tribute to Motown. In lieu of real Motown artists. That should be fun too.
In fact, Smokey Robinson is the only authentic Motown performer coming - and I think he’s been assigned to sing backup for the cast from Glee. Better to be relevant than authentic.
Since some of the original Motown icons have checked out permanently, I guess it’s OK to invite people who didn’t actually record for Motown to perform some of the old tunes. Butt most of these artists weren’t even born when Motown was founded. In fact, most of them weren’t even born before its demise. And Seal and Natasha? They’re Brits, for crying out loud! What could they possibly know about Motown? I’ve been told that Brits are soul-less.
And while this is a bit off topic, here’s a valuable tip, should you ever have to meet Sheryl Crow face to face: have a stash of Germinator-Wipes handy. Since she’s the leader of the “one sheet per visit” earth savers, I’m just thinking you’ll be glad to have them on hand. In case you’re forced to shake hands.
Sheryl, trying to sabotage our troops
Anyhoo, since you won’t get to see the Motown Review that Dewey and I collaborated on either at the Big White tonight or on PBS later, I’m posting our song selections so you can at least listen to what real Motown sounded like, back in the day. Butt before we get to that, Dewey has prepared a little primer on the history of music in Motown that he requested I post here for your information (think of it as PBS without the BS).
After reading it I think you’ll see how totally wrong tonight’s Big White review is going to be. Nobody seems to know anything about Motown around here, which, while surprising, might explain that whole GM and Chrysler take-over mess.
Dewey From Detroit’s Music from Motown Report
I get more than a little melancholy when I remember growing up with the Motown sound. It was a time when Detroit was the Motor City: one of the greatest, most prosperous cities in the world: It’s cars and music shaped the dreams of generations. 50 years later we’ve got Eminem and the Chevy Volt.
Hittsville U.S.A was the place where the “Motown Sound” was born, along with dozens of iconic Motown stars. A former photography studio, Hittsville was purchased by Berry Gordy in 1959 and it became the finishing school for Motown artists. They wrote, rehearsed and recorded their music right there, in Midtown Detroit, within the long shadow of GM world headquarters. Image, stage presence, dress, manners and choreography were carefully and meticulously controlled by Gordy himself. He was looking to develop a unique crossover genre of black artists with such broad based appeal that it would move seamlessly from the R&B market to the white pop market. Realizing the importance of image, packaging and marketing, he nailed it. Had his interests run towards politics, we might have had our first African American president decades ago.
For me, the true Motown ended in 1972 when Berry Gordy moved his historic label from it’s West Grand Boulevard home in Detroit to the land of fruits, nuts, and honeys: Los Angeles.
The Motown Museum: Hitsville U.S.A., Motor City, Detroit
Anything Motown recorded after that is more accurately described as LA-town. Don’t get me wrong, they put out a lot of great music after the move, including Stevie Wonder’s album Innervisions and Lady M’s favorite pole-dancing soundtrack, the Commodores’ She’s A Brick House. It’s just that it was no longer the definitive Motown sound. Probably the world had moved on, and Gordy – as good at spotting trends as creating them - simply chose to move with it.
That probably explains too, why – when Berry Gordy moved out of Detroit - he left behind the heart of the “Motown Sound,” the little known Funk Brothers. The “Motown Sound” was a musical style featuring a distinctive melody and chord structure, and a "call and response" singing style originating in gospel music. That “Sound” was created by Motown’s founders and producers/songwriters, Gordy and Smokey Robinson, along with its in-house band, The Funk Brothers, who performed the instrumentation on nearly every Motown hit between 1959 to 1971.
The Funk Brothers Backing Motown Star Stevie Wonder
The Funk brothers belatedly received recognition in the excellent 2002 documentary Standing In The Shadows of Motown. The documentary claims that the Funk Brothers have "played on more number-one hits than The Beatles, Elvis Presley, The Rolling Stones, and The Beach Boys combined." Not too shabby for a band no one has heard of outside Detroit.
I’ll wrap up my review of Motown, Hitsville U.S.A and Detroit musical history, and turn this back to MOTUS and Little Mo for the unveiling of the songs in MOTUS’ Motown Review in just a minute. But no discussion of Motown musical history would be complete without acknowledging the contribution of arguably the most important radio station of its time: AM 800, “The Big 8”, CKLW.
Ironically, the station most nostalgically associated with Detroit’s golden age of radio was actually Canadian. CKLW was a 50,000 watt radio powerhouse sitting on the Canadian side of the Detroit River, due south of downtown Motown.
Motown, viewed from Riverside Drive in Windsor, previous location of CKLW
Growing up in Detroit or anywhere within the “Big 8’s” signal range was a musical experience permanently embedded. CKLW’s night pattern signal was so strong that it could be heard in 23 states and 4 Canadian Provinces. At it’s peak popularity in the early 70’s, CKLW was the number 1 station in the Detroit market - the 3rd largest radio market in the US at the time - and the 4th most listened to station in North America.
And no one played a bigger role in CKLW’s success than the little known Rosalie Trombley.
Rosalie at work
Rosalie started with The Big 8 as a switchboard operator/receptionist, but she had such an uncanny ability to spot talent and predict future hits from the demos submitted to the station that she landed the Music Director job in 1968, a position she held until the station switched to a talk format in 1984.
Countless recording stars owe their success in no small measure to Rosalie’s instincts and her placement of their recordings in the CKLW power rotation. Detroit native Bob Seeger was so grateful to her for putting him on the map that he immortalized her in his 1972 hit “Rosalie” (don’t skip this!)
in which he sings, "She's got the tower, She's got the power / Rosalie, Rosalie Trombley." Rosalie never permitted the song to be played on CKLW – giving credence to the rumor that Rosalie was the last program director with integrity and couldn’t be bought.
The Big 8’s demise began with the Canadian Radio and Television Commission’s (CRTC) creation of rules to protect “Canadian Culture” through Canadian Content regulations. The CRTC told CKLW’s American owner RKO that it must sell all but a 20% of the station to a Canadian entity. RKO choose to sell 100% of it’s stake. Soon after, the CRTC imposed rules requiring that a minimum of 30% of its daytime (6 AM to midnight) programming must be Canadian content. But, that’s another story, and a sad one at that. Suffice it to say that the great CKLW took a nosedive and never came back up for air. Another victim of government meddling.
CKLW’s contributions in terms of formatting and artist discoveries are too numerous to discuss here, although perhaps it would make for an interesting future post. In the meantime, if you’re lucky enough to remember the “Big 8,” or just want to learn more about CKLW, there is a terrific DVD available, Radio Revolution: The Rise and Fall of The Big 8 .
Well, my time is up - back to you MOTUS.
Thanks Dewey, butt since you used so much of my allotted line space, I’ll just introduce my Motown Review playlist without further ado. Click on any song to listen and think fondly of a time when America was still strong and Detroit still had soul.
The review wraps up with Aretha who, while never recorded on the Motown label, is definitivelyMotown.
The MOTUS “No Imposters” MOTOWN REVIEW Player:
(note: not one “bitch” “ho” ”F-word” or “N-word”in the mix)
Here are two stories out of Chicago that are technically news, but everybody already knew:
1) Rahm Emanuel won his bid for Mayor! Congratulations Rhambo, now stop bothering Big Guy. We’re busy around here.
Rahmbo did make sure that he gave credit for his landside victory to Big Guy: “I couldn’t have done it without you.” No kidding. Butt now that we don’t have to worry about the Illinois returns in the next election, Big Guy can get back to fixing the economy and ensuring that the rest of the world loves us.
Completely unrelated, butt watch for a huge surge in “supporters” to show up in solidarity with the teachers in Wisconsin today, now that our job is done in Chicago.
2) Ikram is no longer Lady M’s personal shopper. The worst kept secret in Washington. Even Wikileaks had the story last December. Ever since Lady M looked reporters straight in the eye earlier this month and told them:
"nothing has changed since I've been here," regarding her fashion advisers. "I've always bought clothes from Ikram. And to the extent that - I mean, it's really nothing has kind of changed. It's kind of interesting where these stories come from, that sort of thing. I didn't do anything different. I didn't."
I think you’ll have to agree, Koopie looks a little more like the kind of bag lady that should be stylin’ Lady M than Ikram ever did.
Koopie, left, Ikram about 100 pounds ago, right
Ikram was MO’s “how to sit like like a Chicago Power Lady” coach. Butt at least Koopie wears stockings! Maybe it will wear off. And she has exhibited that stab-your-mentor-in-the-back-to-get-ahead swagger that Chicago born and bred MO can’t help butt admire.
However, this photo of Ikram at NY Fashion Week might give you a clue to the real reason she’s no longer our go-to fashionista advisor-in-chief:
She tried to get Lady M to wear this dress for Valentine’s Day, but it was way too tight. That might have been the last straw.
In unrelated news: did you hear what new Congressman Allen West (R-FL) said to CAIR’s idiot executive director Nezar Hamze yesterday?
Wow! Allen might just be a shiny new model of JoeyB’s dream candidate:“(a) mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."
Big Guy better watch out. I understand this guy knows his way around a battlefield, too.
That of course assumes that the skier is, uh… skiing. With skis. The calorie burn for a day at the spa is slightly lower. Butt either way, the obsession with Lady M’s dinner at Kelly Lipkin’s last Saturday is all out of proportion. It was a relatively healthy meal: what with the kale, pumpkin and arugula. Still, as Chick pointed out, Rush Limbaugh seems obsessed with Lady M’s short rib supper – even going so far as to suggest she might be hippo-critical!
We gassed up Air Force Won 2 with premium for the return trip, to get a little extra lift. Butt it has nothing to do with packing some extra “baggage.”
If Rush wanted to pick on Lady M’s diet while “skiing” in Vail, he would have been better off eyeing the offerings at the Game Creek Club where we had lunch. There the offerings include starters of foie gras and pork belly confit in addition to entrees of short ribs, lamb and elk. Not that we ordered any of that.
Or maybe he could have taken a peek at Sweet Basil where we also dined:
Sweet Basil is committed to green initiatives and environmental responsibility.We proudly feature Natura house purified bottled water for $2 per person,organic ingredients and sustainable food sources.
Their menu is sprinkled with Perigord truffles and house smoked foie gras. Although, this was my favorite menu offering:
(At last count that included a bottle of that house purified bottled Natura water, a pocket pack of Kleenex and a roll of Tums.)
Sources say that because Obama was largely paying her own way, she insisted on the final say.
That last one’s cute. They obviously don’t know Lady M very well. She ALWAYS insists on the final say, regardless of who’s paying. Just ask Big Guy, if you don’t believe me.
So everyone, let’s just chill, since I won’t have much cutting edge fashion reporting for awhile. We’ll be wearing loose black clothing for a few days - until our magic spa treatments kick in.
Big black stretch fabric: until our new containment systems arrive
Good grief! We take a short holiday to celebrate Big Guy’s extraordinary job approval ratings and look what happens: Libya’s on the verge of civil war, and Qaddafi flees Tripoli, Wisconsin’s on the verge of civil war and the Democrats flee Madison, Washington is threatening to shut down the federal government in lieu of a civil war and the Senate flees town.
Here she is stuck in Vail with the Wee Wons, while Big Guy’s back at the Big White where it’s painfully apparent he could use her sage counsel.
Whoa, Big Guy! That’s a path to nowhere. Turn! Now!
Butt don’t worry, Lady M is going to soldier on: for the Wee Wons. For the Let’s MOOve Program. As we established a long time ago, she’s willing to sacrifice whatever it takes to get the economy rolling again.
So, yesterday we mastered riding on the gondola without our skis or boots, and managed to squeeze in a fashion shoot for the local fashionista magazine, modeling the softer side of ski helmets.
Does this ski helmet make me look like a conehead?
Today we took to the slopes with our skis and boots. The first look MO tried to go with was an outfit from the ethnic collection, butt it seemed to attract too much attention -
especially when we took that inevitable tumble:
Don’t worry – the snack pack is intact!
Plus, the peasant outfit made her butt look big, so we changed into something a little more contemporary for our aerial performance:
Lady M didn’t really like the brown and white motif, so we finally settled on something both fashionable and functional; a fur trimmed Air Force blue ski jacket, equipped with a powder pink ski leash that allows me to stay in close proximity to her butt as she goes shooting down hill, out of control, despite my best efforts. She does, after all, have the weight advantage. And we are going downhill.
From Vail, this is MOTUS, your cub sports reporter and winter sports enthusiast, signing off.
Lady M earned this special Vail pin on her very first run
I’ve got a a few little items I’ve been meaning to bring to your attention that have gotten lost in the shuffle of all the important issues of the past few days: what spa treatments to sign up for, where to have dinner, what to wear, for goodness sake!
First, I forgot to tell you about the opening of a very important off-site wing of the Smithsonian last week: the Madame Tussauds Galley of the Presidents. American history in wax, brought to you exclusively by Simoniz – a multi-purpose product we use a lot of around here.
The likenesses of Big Guy and Lady M have been in the offing for over a year. You may recall that I filed a report last year on the increasingly wax-like appearance of the Big White occupants. I determine at the time that my concern was unfounded, butt I will tell you that even now I occasionally catch a glimpse of that waxy facade in my refractors, and it still creeps me out a bit.
Am I real, or am I wax? Only our personal cosmetic surgeon knows for sure.
Big Guy’s and Lady M’s likenesses seem to be fine, butt after seeing Richard Nixon’s waxy reincarnation,
Seems to be patterned on a cross between his Halloween mask and Alan Grayson
And George Herbert Walker Bush’s,
fashioned to resemble a nervous hospital resident.
And Ronnie’s:
Did they purposely try to turn him into a game show host?
I would sure hate to be the next R- word president.
Meanwhile, all of our union agitators in Madison are providing adequate cover for Lady M’s Rocky Mountain get away. There have been isolated complaints, mostly from right-wing blogs, trying to use Big Guy’s own words from his budget presser to criticize Lady M’s well-earned ski get-away: "If you’re a family trying to cut back, you might skip going out to dinner, you might put off a vacation."
The whole issue is moot: the operative term here being “if”. The O’s sure aren’t trying to cut back, they’ve only got 22 more months of this gig in the bag.
Anyway, did you know that former Vice President Al Gore is also in Colorada this week? Yes! Right up the Gore Creek in Aspen. He came to make one of his curiously impassioned pleas to save the trees – or the pine bark beetles, or maybe the world.
Al Gore with some other dead wood.Troy Hooper photo
Forty years ago this spring, AlGore first felt the magic of the forests around here. He had been honorably discharged from the U.S. Army and decided to motor west from his home in Tennessee.
I always wonder why they mention that: “honorably discharged?” Wouldn’t you just normally assume… I mean, he was Vice President?
Algore continues:
“I put a tent in the trunk of my Chevrolet Impala and drove to the White River National Forest, no kidding, and camped there,” the former U.S. vice president told a room packed with cultural, scientific and political leaders at the Aspen Institute on Friday night. “In the following years I came back and I’ve been back many times since – not camping – but I have my own relationship with the forests here.”
Thankfully, we didn’t get to hear about that “special relationship.” But we did get to hear about his passion for the environment – which he credits for helping him ascend to the Senate and Vice Presidency, as well as landing him the Nobel prize and an Oscar for his movie. Wow! Talk about “Do What You Love, and the Money Will Follow!” This guy could’ve written the book. And he didn’t even mention the gazillions of shekels he’s made off off his other passion: carbon credits!
Butt despite everything he has going, he tells us he’s been plunged into despair by the destruction of his beloved forests by pine bark beetles; all caused by the earth’s fever:
“The linkage these scientists have referred to over and over again with global warming is something some people resist but it’s a fact,” Gore said. “It’s unprecedented and we really have to face up to it.”
And remember ladies! This totally untrained but universally acknowledged expert on all things scientific, and inventor of the worldwide Interweb is once again on the market! Claim him before it’s too late and his globull warming kills the mother ship.
And one final note: apparently Lady M did not heed my advice about not taunting gravity and insisted on displaying her amazing athleticism on the slopes. Here’s the first public sighting to slip through the embargo.