Thanks goodness we’re heading home from Paradise with a win under our belts (metaphorically speaking). Chef Comfy delivered our first big historic Iron Chef win last night. It was a squeaker: we lost in the “taste” category, but made up for it in “presentation” (don’t we always?).
I was so excited my backup refractors temporarily failed (now I can keep my framed awards up!). MO gave Big Guy her signature fist-kiss,
and Toes smiled satisfactorily and said nothing.
Joey B and Gibsey were dispatched to watch the competition on the big screen in the cafeteria, because everyone knew how they would react when we Won a food battle:
The night was filled with tension though, starting with the announcement that the Chairman was attending in “spirit”.
Toes opened a big can of F-bombs and grabbed the “Red phone”. After a few more F-bombs and one “I’m keeping score”, he sat back down to announce “It’s ok, the Chairman will phone in a good read later in the show. He’s on vacation”.
From that point on, it was all fun and cheers. Everybody was rooting (no pun intended) for their favorite garden vegetable. Lady M tricked everybody, saying she was pulling for the sweet potatoes, but I knew she was really backing the Tuscan black kale. Big Guy sided with the icicle radishes and Toes rooted for all the red meat.
We were rolling to victory when, before our very eyes, Chef Comfy went off menu. She remembered Alton Brown using the “D” word (diversity) when talking about the secret ingredient, and thought something reflecting her Filipino tradition, combined with a Chicago staple AND a Big White garden vegetable would cinch it. Not a bad idea on its face, but Comfy, bubbie, sautéed rat- a-touille??? Did you see the look on Emeril’s face?
Thank Gaia, Comfy grabbed a city rat, because that little guy got out of the frying pan quicker than a greased Chicago politico. Suffice it to say he didn’t make it to the judges bench, er… table for the final judgment round.
Lady M surprised and thrilled all of the contestants when she presented each of them with a victory belt she designed herself. Note that some of the team members are wearing them in MO’s signature boob belt style, while a couple of the loser members look like they might benefit from the soon-to-be-released line of belts that lift and separate.
I’m just glad we started our first, second historic year with CHANGE we can once again believe in: A win! Plus, I think Lady M has decided that we’ve milked about as much as we can out of that “sod busting thing”.
Good Bye garden. Hello lamb chops.