Saturday, January 2, 2021

Honestly, This Hilaria Thing Is Hilarious

Well how on earth did I miss this story? Oh wait, I know: I quit watching anything that even vaguely portended to be news programming. I’ll bet that Fox and Friends covered this little gem ad nauseum all Christmas week.

It all started December 21 with a now infamous tweet from somebody using the handle @lenibriscoe:

The woman, who posts under the Twitter handle @lenibriscoe, said that the influencer and yoga teacher isn't coming clean despite posting videos to Instagram and doing an interview with the New York Times

Who the heck is Hilaria you ask, and why should I care? Turns out the ex-dancer, yoga instructor, lifestyle influencer (yeah, that’s a real thing) is the wife of pugnacious actor Alec Baldwin – one of our distinctly superior fellow citizens. Could he possibly have been duped? Isn’t he too smart for that? Or was he in on the scam? How embarrassing either way.

Hilaria, who has no Spanish ancestry, has been under fire for allegedly misrepresenting herself as Spanish — repeatedly publicly referring to Spain as her “home,” adopting a bad thick Spanish accent at times and failing to correct numerous publications and even one of her official web bios that falsely said she was born on Mallorca.

For her wedding to Alec in 2012, she wore a traditional white Spanish mantilla veil and waved a flamenco fan at her groom at an altar in St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, while the pair traded rings inscribed in Spanish and danced to Puerto Rican crooner Luis Miguel.

Hillary Thomas-Hayward officially became Hilaria Baldwin when she wed husband Alec in a star-studded wedding, complete with tributes to her claimed Spanish roots, with the bride wearing a mantilla-inspired veil, cooling herself with a flamenco hand fan and nuptial readings in both English and Spanish

“Hilaria” it turns out is not just not Spanish but she’s actually a Boston Brahmin – a WASP from New England who went to a $60,000 a year private school and was raised Hillary Hayward-Thomas in this 100 year old $4 million house in elite Beacon Hill.


beacon hillDoes everybody named “Hillary” just naturally lie through their teeth?

Alec and “Hilaria” have five blonde haired blue eyed kids all with Spanish names - Romeo Alejandro David, Leonardo Ángel Charles, Rafael Thomas, Carmen Gabriela and new baby Eduardo Pao Lucas. Because if you’re going to scam the public it’s best to have the entire family in on it.

Briscoe said that Baldwin was taking up opportunities that should have been given to people who really do have Hispanic roots. With limited space on TV shows and in magazines, those chances should have gone to somebody else rather than a white personOur children, especially the older ones, are fully bilingual”

I bet that’s how Elizabeth Warren’s Native American heritage grift got started too. Sometimes this things just take on a life of their own and before you know it they spin out of control – next thing you know you forget the English word for “cucumber” and find yourself publishing heritage Native American crab cake recipes.

Ah well, anything embarrassing for a pompous ass like Baldwin is just alright with me. Especially since I know that he had to know, if not before the wedding certainly since then. I suspect he’s met the in-laws who despite having retired to Mallorca are decidedly not Spanish. And seriously, any woman with 5 kids isn’t going to go into full-Mom tilt-mode in a fake accent. Nope, all those cuss words directed at kids and husband are going to spill out in their natural born dialect. So the whole plausible deniability argument stops right there. He was a willing accomplice in this silliness and deserves as much ridicule as we can manage to heap on His Pompousness.  

So how’s that anger management class working out for you Alec? You’re going to need to reload it.

Short fuse: Notoriously hot-headed Alec Baldwin was seen arguing with his pregnant wife Hilaria Thomas while walking their dogs on Friday in New York CityAlec yelling at his pregnant wife.

Friday, January 1, 2021

Happy New Year 2021

Happy New Year People of the MOTI!

What's Open and Closed in Honolulu for New Year's Day 2021 - Honolulu  Magazine

To those who made it to midnight on purpose to usher in 2021 – I salute you. To those who were forced to make it till midnight by merrymakers in your neighborhood ushering in 2021, I sympathize. And to those who were awakened from a sound sleep by neighborhood merrymakers ushering in 2021, I empathize.

There’s no point in recapping 2020, this headline says it all:

For the first time in 114 years, the New Year’s Eve spectacular in Times Square was held without a live audience.

It would seem that our bettors decided that we were all having too much fun and it was time to end the party and send everyone home.

Even those who are not really expecting much from 2021 were glad to bid adieu to 2020 - a year that definitely did not deserve to have an extra day.

leap year

Then again, everyday with the MOTI is a day worth having, so I’m thankful we’re all still hanging in there if only by a thread some days.

I promised that I would show you better pictures of the second overwhelming bouquet that you all sent to me and Raj. I did not think you could outdo yourselves with the Christmas bouquet, but somehow…you did. I don’t know where the woman who owns ADORN sources her flowers but they are not only unique but in pristine condition. Here is my best attempt to capture the stunning beauty of this floral art for you:

First, a base of gigante hydrangeas and peonies in shades of burgundy, carmine and soft greens:

hydrangea and peonies2

deep claret-colored pin flowers,

post pinflowers

ranunculus in such a deep, deep maroon that they absorb light and look as if they were made of velvet (and thus are difficult to photo to their full effect, I tried capturing their effect with one of the filters but it still doesn’t do them justice)

ranuculus 22

Leucadendron, a graceful, waxy bloom that looks like the love child of a ginger and a bromeliad


along with crimson cluster roses, seeded eucalyptus and more of that soft lovely-to-look-at-lovelier-to-touch hanging green amaranthus…

WOW! post aaa

All that and a bottle of French champagne.

champagne for new years dayWhich will be popped and enjoyed throughout the day

You guys and dolls really know how usher in a New Year – way better than fireworks!  And once again all I can say is thank you, which is quite inadequate to express how overwhelmed I am by your thoughtful gifts.

Despite the midnight fireworks action around here I got a pretty good night’s sleep. Both Raj and I are now feeling up to celebrating today. For as you know 2021 is upon us and “it is what it is.” Cursing it’s existence will serve no purpose so we might as well celebrate each day and figure out how to wrangle with it as we go along.  Until then I leave you with this hope:

And this sentiment, from the bottom of my heart:

prod to say i was one of us brian andres

Thursday, December 31, 2020

I Don’t Make the Rules, Hallmark Does

Hello, my name is MOTUS  and I’m addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies – don’t judge, especially if your idea of a Christmas movie is Die Hard.

In fact, I’m watching one – A Boyfriend For Christmas - as I write this. It is one of the first of 5 Christmas themed movies that Hallmark made way back in 2004. There are now 136 Christmas movies if Wiki is to be believed, although I’m not sure if that includes the whopping 40 new ones they cranked out in 2020 despite the cooties. So I think we can all agree then when I say of Hallmark:


Now when I say I’m “watching” I mean that in the same way I once “watched” Fox and Friends First when I woke up at 5 AM: it is providing a low buzz of background noise as I work on my post. And for about 6 months at this longitude, it also provides background light in an otherwise dark bedroom.

Now I’ll bet there are some of you that pride yourselves on never having seen a Hallmark Christmas movie. Too bad, as that means you are unfamiliar with the unique genre in which 15 actors, 2 writers, 5 settings and a plot generator -

Hallmark Christmas Movie Plot Generator | Wrong Hands

are used to create an endless array of escapist movies that are both cheesy and predictable while at the same time as comfortable as a pair of old jeans, assuming they still fit.

Up until this year the movies were, well, embarrassingly middle class and white.


But with BLM’s “encouragement” and the LBGBT community’s shaming, this year’s 40 entrees made up for that. You have never seen so many ethnic characters and mixed race couples enjoying Hallmark romance.

"Memories of Christmas," "Majestic Christmas," "Christmas Everlasting"“Memories of Christmas,” “Majestic Christmas,” “Christmas Everlasting”

Plus, the yuletide has certainly never been gayer on the Hallmark channels.

But aside from those new twists, everything else is the same: a plot selected from the matrix above, a conflicted main character meets his or her true love but doesn’t realize it: tension/misunderstanding ensues followed by a happy ending. To say that the movies are formulaic is an insult to formulaic fiction, but then…did you miss the part about a happy ending? Guaranteed!


Is there anyone out there who couldn’t benefit from a happy ending once a year or so?

And if you’re still not convinced allow me to point out other benefits of the genre: you can organize a whole evening of games around a Hallmark Christmas movie. There’s bingo of course:


And if that’s not enough there is the Hallmark Christmas Movie Drinking Game, which is basically bingo sans the markers.

Jen Saunderson on Twitter:

So as the New Year approaches, and the Hallmark Christmas Movie season draws to a close – at least until July – you should consider catching one before it’s too late. There are worst things than happy endings you know…

Pin on covid funnies ‍‍Hijinks ensue.

Or you can just watch Die Hard again I suppose. It does have a happy ending so I suppose it technically qualifies.

die hard

Either way, Happy New Year’s Eve to one and all!

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

WWTFD: What Would Thomas Freidman Do?

I don’t know about anyone else in Congress but Rep. Jim Jordan is concerned about autocratic lockdowns in this country.


See the source imageBusiness closed by government mandate until further notice, or until they go bankrupt

Well honestly, I think they were pretty clear on the subject.

“Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” - Founding Father Benjamin Franklin

But never mind the founders, what would our great thinkers of today, like renowned NYT economist Thomas Friedman, say?  I can’t say for sure but I can guess, given his 2009 wistful yearning for America to be a little more like autocratic China:

One-party autocracy certainly has its drawbacks. But when it is led by a reasonably enlightened group of people, as China is today, it can also have great advantages. That one party can just impose the politically difficult but critically important policies needed to move a society forward in the 21st century. It is not an accident that China is committed to overtaking us in electric cars, solar power, energy efficiency, batteries, nuclear power and wind power.

China’s leaders understand that in a world of exploding populations and rising emerging-market middle classes, demand for clean power and energy efficiency is going to soar. Beijing wants to make sure that it owns that industry and is ordering the policies to do that, including boosting gasoline prices, from the top down.

The price of that one-party autocracy is a tad high in the human rights and civil liberties department -

How a Crackdown in Hong Kong Would Reverberate, From Shanghai to TaiwanHong Kong: China jails 10 who fled by boat to Taiwan for up to three years

but hey! – small price to pay for enlightened leadership - as displayed during the Great Pandemic -

covid nonsense rules

- and a Green New Deal, eh?

To be clear, Friedman thinks that urban, liberal, modern ‘thinkers’ (Democrats) ‘get it’ while rural, ignorant, children of the corn (Republicans) don’t. If we could just prevent the rubes from Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas etc. from voting to muck things up, we’d already be enjoying that Green New Deal that enlightened thinkers like him are so fond of.

And don’t think for a moment the ‘09 column was a one-off, he doubled down in his most inarticulate way a year later on Meet the Press:

“You know, that's really what, what it's come down to. So I don't—I, I—I'm worried about this, it's why I have fantasized—don't get me wrong—but that what if we could just be China for a day? I mean, just, just, just one day. You know, I mean, where we could actually, you know, authorize the right solutions, and I do think there is a sense of that, on, on everything from the economy to environment. I don't want to be China for a second, OK, I want my democracy to work with the same authority, focus and stick-to-itiveness. But right now we have a system that can only produce suboptimal solutions.”

Good grief Thomas, if your “optimal solution” is China’s “authority, focus and stick-to-itiveness” we’ve got a problem. As Matt Welch pointed out at the time:

You do not get the "stick-to-itiveness" of Friedman's authoritarian one-party fantasia without the violent, freedom-depriving assault on those (especially though not only activists and bloggers and journalists) who are seen as threats to the regime. Dreaming about removing checks and balances to impose a super-genius policy is not the work of a geopolitical thinker, but the tantrum of an impatient sloganeer.

We’ve seen what tantrums of impatient sloganeering gets us: fraudulent elections, ongoing shutdowns/lockdowns, permanent business closures and the destruction of massive amounts of capital. So what the heck, let’s have a little more of that autocratic "stick-to-itiveness."

UPDATED: A full list of which Pa. businesses must close, which are  'life-sustaining' under new coronavirus shutdown orderMake that March 27, 2021…

Where would we be without our enlightened overlords who know so much more and are so much smarter than us?

covid signage

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

A Miracle! There’s Always Enough Votes - As Long As You Keep Counting

And in the home stretch of the 2020 “keep counting until morale improves” contest,

Pennsylvania has  currently pulled into the lead with this entry:

A comparison of official county election results to the total number of voters who voted on November 3, 2020 as recorded by the Department of State shows that 6,962,607 total ballots were reported as being cast, while DoS/SURE system records indicate that only 6,760,230 total voters actually voted. Among the 6,962,607 total ballots cast, 6,931,060 total votes were counted in the presidential race, including all three candidates on the ballot and write-in candidates.

The difference of 202,377 more votes cast than voters voting, together with the 31,547 over- and under-votes in the presidential race, adds up to an alarming discrepancy of 170,830 votes, which is more than twice the reported statewide difference between the two major candidates for President of the United States.

Cliff Notes version: over 200,000 more votes than registered voters. Of course we don’t know for whom those supplemental votes were cast, do we? Therefore ‘no reasonable prosecutor’ would bring a case. Although I can’t actually remember the last time we’ve seen a “reasonable prosecutor,” can you?

And besides, how many times do I have to tell you: IT’S BEEN DEBUNKED! By FACT checkers! 

How many facts could a factchecker check

If a factchecker could check facts?

As many facts as a factchecker could check

If a factchecker could check facts.

And history has determined that fact checking has always proved itself to be quite useful -

Twitter Fact-Checking Parodies | Know Your Meme

to ruthless tyrants.

So just sit back, shut up and BELIEVE…in the Democrats’ soup kitchen miracle of 2020.

vote again loaves and fishes pantry

Where there’s always enough votes to serve as many as we need – why, it’s a miracle!

Monday, December 28, 2020

Toilet Paper May Be The Least Of Our Worries

For those of you looking forward to a better year when the calendar flips, there’s bad news on the horizon: the  “new strain” of COVID is sure to launch a “new panic.”

Not much is known about the so-called “new strain” of the virus, but that hasn’t stopped the ruling class from using it to their advantage.

The latest narrative, which is being used as a vector for endless amounts of COVID-19 panic and fear mongering, is related to the claim that there is a new mutation of the novel coronavirus spreading, which is claimed to be much more contagious — a claimed 70%(!) increase in transmissibility — than the original dominant variant.

Here’s the problem with that claim: it’s based solely on a single model put together by a team of epidemiologists with a track record of failure. There is no actual evidence that the new variant of the coronavirus is any more or less transmissible or deadly than previous strains...– The Dossier

Of course that won’t prevent a new round of lockdowns and other restrictions and, worst of all, another world wide toilet paper shortage. So while not new, I  present the following information on t. p. alternatives as a public service announcement, should the need arise.

TP substitutes

Natural Toilet Paper Substitutes: Slippery elm leaves, Osage orange, and large, soft mullein leaves

Field and Stream frequently provides information needed by naturalists, hunters, hikers and outdoorsie people of all persuasions.  This particular SURVIVAL article “Six Best Toilet Paper Substitutes From Nature” may prove to be important and useful for one and all in light of what’s coming down the pike:

As I write this, Charmin, Cottonelle, and Downy Soft toilet paper, to name a few, are “currently unavailable” on Amazon. This verifies what you’ve always suspected: When things get scary in the U.S., the first thing most of us think about is pooping. The average American goes through 30 rolls of t.p. a year, which is kind of impressive but still not a reason to stock an entire wall of your basement with them. Seventy percent of the world’s population doesn’t even use bathroom tissue. They use a variety of things, including, in some countries, the left hand. I have no intention of covering that technique here.

Thank Dog!

The Vikings used old sheep wool and smooth pottery shards. They were hardy people. The Eskimos used two of the better t.p. substitutes: snow in the winter and tundra moss when it was available. Snow, incidentally, is often ranked both as one the best and one of the worst alternatives by natural-bathroom-tissue experts.




“Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow” 

Did you know that there are natural-bathroom-tissue experts? I do hope some of them are employed by the CDC because we’re gonna’ need their help from now on.

So as we prepare for the next round of deprivations let’s spend a little time reviewing how we all “handled” the last, great TP shortage of 2020? Did you do any or all of the following?

  • Stand in the Soviet style “bread” lines?
  • Beg, borrow or steal from friends and family?
  • Find other creative locavore solutions?

Desperate mums use unmatched socks as loo roll – as coronavirus panic sees  supermarkets sell out of toilet paper

      Snow-for-Alternative-Toilet-Paper-Thumbnail-Copyright-Your-Family-Ark-LLCNo toilet paper?  Got snow? Then you’re good to go.     

  • Finally “go” organic?

PicInfo - SickipediaJoin your local co-op and save even more  

I don’t want to contribute to the inevitable 2021 t. p. panic, but I do want people to be prepared. You know, in case we end up going the Venezuelan route.


Although at that point toilet paper will be the least of our worries.

venezuelaUh oh, we’re getting close

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Brain Worms, Mondegreens and ‘The Hook’

I will be gone all day so what do you say we spend today pondering this eminently ponderable: what is it about the human brain that causes us to mishear certain words or phrases? And why, once misheard, does the brain try to render meaning to the nonsensical and forevermore insist on mishearing the same thing over and over?

Ed Driscoll was obviously wondering more or less the same thing when he posted this little gem retweeted from a reddit thread. He did so with this droll observation: ANALYSIS: TRUE. France is Bacon.

We’ve all had this happen to us, but somehow it seems other people’s misheard brain worms are more interesting than mine. Take Gerard Van Der Leun for example: not only does he advise us what this phenomenon is called (a ‘mondegreen’) but as you’ll see in his post - Delete “Hook.” Insert “Heart” – when his brain misfires it’s actually better than the original. Here’s his take on the Blues Traveler’s song titled “The Hook” (which really should have been a clue, but the brain will do what the brain will do):

All of this is a periphrastic way of coming to what I had heard sung in the refrain to ‘The Hook.’ for many years. I never heard the word ‘hook.’ Instead I heard the word ‘heart,’ as in:

“Because the heart brings you back
I ain’t tellin’ you no lie
The heart brings you back
On that you can rely.”

I’ve listened to ‘The Hook.’, with attention or just as background, probably around a hundred times over the years. I’ve trance danced to it. I’ve even been to a Blues Traveler concert in New York City that had it on the setlist. In all those iterations I’ve never heard ‘hook,’ but always heard ‘heart.’ Now I know different …. but not better.

Seen whole the lyrics to ‘The Hook’ are all about the plight and pain of being a pop star. One of the thousands of such screeds in which our celebrities bemoan the curse of wealth and fame their rise has brought to them — the endless angst of those who fear they had to ‘sell-out’ in order to ‘buy-in.’ I try, but somehow I just can’t feel this pampered pain.

In the end, I really don’t want ‘The Hook.’ to bring me back. I want ‘The Heart’ to bring me back:

“Because the heart brings you back
I ain’t tellin’ you no lie
The heart brings you back
On that you can rely.”

It might be a mondegreen, but it makes a much better song.

It’s hard to argue with his conclusion, it really would make a much better song. But then, Gerard is a poet and writer so I suppose it shouldn’t surprise us that his mondegreens are better than ours, and indeed, better than the real thing.

Still, I find it interesting to ponder the power of the human brain to fill voids with misinformation. But for this fact the mockingbird media would not exist. They’ve literally created an entire industry out of replacing news and information with alternate words that they want you to believe are better than the real thing. They exist to make us see clearly now: Lorraine is gone.

lorraine_2020-12-27 Action on Hearing Loss

Warning: misinformation is not a joke

I vote to give MSM ‘The Hook’

History of Comedians Getting the Hook — Comedy History 101