Friday, September 25, 2009

Culture Club

Today Lady M will be trying to impress her charges with an art and culture field trip.She’ll be hosting the G-20 spouses, first, a trip to the School of Creative and Performing Arts which will include a show by the students and includes performances by Trisha Yearwood and cellist Yo-Yo Ma. Then on to a tour of the Andy Warhol museum.trishaI think you can see why Ms. Yearwood was selected.

This is a natural for Mo, who’s always believed that arts, culture and governance are a natural fit - for those who know how to use them properly. She’s always been a big fan of Mao’s cultural revolution – except for the funny brown uniforms the little children wore. mao's red guard Mao’s Red Guard

For her own cultural revolution, Lady M wore a dress by Zero + Maria Cornejo. She chose a Sacai belt to cinch in that waspish waist. Cornejo’s signature print dress is in a lovely amethyst, charcoal and cream silk charmeuse with geometric shapes of circles, squares and triangles.I think that about covers it. Very contemporary.You might even find it in an art gallery.ladies who lunch

As is the custom, MO will be presenting the G-20 spouses with a thoughtful gift of their trip to Capitalist America. The White House described the gift yesterday:

Mrs. Obama will be presenting G20 Spouses with a “one-of-a-kind porcelain tea set and honey vase designed exclusively for the occasion of The Pittsburgh Summit 2009, with honey harvested especially for the occasion from the White House beehive."Mrs_ Obama's Spouse Gifts G20 Summit

They are lovely and, not to quibble, but at last count there were 20 spouses of the G-20 delegates (OK, the 2 men-spouses were no-shows, but my point's still valid) who were to receive this very thoughtful gift made in the land of Lincoln. How is that “one of a kind?” Can we maybe get someone in the protocol department that speaks English as a first language?

But none of the spouses are likely to complain. They’re just relieved that they’re not getting a crummy iPod loaded with Big Guy’s speeches, like we gave the Queen of England last spring. Back then BO’s speeches only took up 4 gigabytes. Now, we’re into the terabytes, and it would take forever to delete them all.

The last leg of the culture tour was a stop at the Andy Warhol (a native of Pittsburgh )Museum. Warhol was the leader in the Pop Art movement, which artist Richard Hamilton described as "popular, transient, expandable, low cost, mass produced, young, witty, sexy, gimmicky, glamorous, big business."

andy warhol michelle_thumb[2]

Sounds like culture to me. A great wrap up for a great week.

Singing In The Rain

Wouldn’t you know it would have to rain on Lady M’s international entertaining debut?singing in the rain Who could of seen that coming – in Pittsburgh at the end of September? 

Big Guy even had to mop up Lady M a bit from all that drizzle.singing in rain, mopping up

We’re wearing one of our favorite designers for MO’s debut as Internationale Hostess Supremo. It’s a lovely spaghetti strap cocktail dress by Thakoon and is a taupe, pink and green pattern. Although frankly, from a distance it just looks sort of, uh, nondescript. But I think that’s the point. Unfortunately it made the pink patent leather pumps look a bit odd, so I just muted them out a bit.

I wasn’t sure about the long strand of pearls though. I told her I thought a choker might work better, but Lady M said she’s tired of the whole Jackie thing and she’s going her own way from now on.  Great. Just what I need, more overtime.

Everything was going pretty well until Carla and Nicholas showed up. Would you just look at her? Not ONE piece of jewelry! Just flaunting her natural beauty, like she OWNS understated. But that’s the French for you. Gauling.pitsburgh france

Then shortly after that, when I was working the front, some jackass slipped around behind us and took this shot:pitts way back Oh, there will be hell to pay for this breach of security! See what happened next? This in NEVER supposed to happen.pitts9

Other than that, the dinner was swell. Local this, organic that. MO was too bummed out to eat anyway. And Big Guy was busy apologizing to everyone around him for the rain.


Manning The Brigades

We’ve arrived in Pittsburgh and will be at the lovely Rosemont Farm shortly for an elegant dinner. pittsburgh 2You might think the dress we arrived in looks a little like a house dress, but I assure you its lovely. I just wasn’t able to get off Air force one before Lady M and properly reflect it’s iridescent charm. Besides, it’s just for traveling. Wait till you see what we have for this evening!pitts arrival

But first there’s this: it wouldn’t be a G-20, (or even a G-8, going back just a couple of administrations) with out the global nut balls. Most of them think they’re saving the whales, and the rest just read Saul Alinsky’s book and know it’s going to be a good time.

Here’s a shot of the Pittsburgh ‘mob’ getting ready to confront the anarchists who came to party. When things got out of hand –as they always do with this crowd: Pittsburgh mob pitts rock thrower -

Officers fired pepper spray and smoke at the protesters. Some of those exposed to the pepper spray coughed and complained that their eyes were watering and stinging.

The ones who didn’t complain were too stoned to notice.

The street scene reminded me a bit of my last Middle East trip, what with all the wrapped heads and dark clothes. But again, it’s just one of those things the wacky anarchists like to do. Although oddly,I haven’t heard anyone saying they’re here to protest the president. Because in the Bush years, it was always about him.

But we made it past the mayhem in good time and arrived at the lovely Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Garden in Pittsburgh for a reception before our organic, locavore dinner.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Ketchup Is About As American As You Can Get

Gee, not great reviews on the little red number yesterday. You just can’t please these people. Who wouldn’t love this? Buttons and bows: says it all.

un red 2 And check out the belt on her shrimpy friend. Oh yeah - she’s picked up on the Michelle vibe.

Anyway, all the comments about the dress being “inappropriate” – obviously came from celebrity gawkers that didn’t know about the rest of our busy schedule yesterday. Not only lunch with UN dignitaries, but a lavish dinner hosted by MO and BO last night for 190 world leaders. If you think the dress was too tight in the morning, you should have seen it at midnight! Don’t worry, I was on duty.

I’m glad we’re moving on to the G-20 in Pittsburgh. Big Guy can take responsibility, again, for the worst recession in planetary history, and Lady M can commiserate with Theresa Heinz Kerry ( the wife of Senator John Kerry and the widow of Senator John Heinz from the ketchup family – believe me, she loves red.)about how mean the press can be to power spouses.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The “Won” World Order

Exciting day here in New York with Lady M! But before all that, check Mo out as she makes her entrance to the One World Order (OWO) gathering:

un redIt used to be that you would really stand out in red, but at the UN it’s sort of the new official color, so it probably didn’t pack the same punch it once did. But stunning, never-the-less.

But back to the reason for the gathering. First Big Guy made one of his signature USA Apologia speeches. The crowd was mesmerized. It’s not everyday, after all, that the leader of the world’s greatest power relinquishes the throne to a batch of nations that collectively couldn’t win the Amazing Race – or any other reality show come to think of it. But I guess it’s just their turn to take a spin at running the world. They seem to be doing a much better job of it than we are, per BO. I don’t honestly know, but I can tell you that I’ve had small hairline lesions on my peripheral lenses ever since we got back from our trip to Africa. I’m sure it’s nothing.

Then of course there was Muammar Gaddafi's conspiracy theory speech which only lasted 100 minutes. He could have gone on for ever. Here he is taking a little break before telling the crowd that he hoped 'Obama stayed president of America forever.'Gaddafi2 That was before he said he has evidence that the Jews assassinated JFK. Boy, is Oliver Stone going to be ticked off when he hears that.

Then, a break for lunch.

Later this afternoon, everyone’s favorite Middle Eastern dictator, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, will be taking to the floor to call America the Great Satan again. Apparently he wasn’t paying attention during Big Guy’s speech. We passed that title on.

But seriously, how many times can you watch the Exorcist? For Canada, I guess the answer is once less than everyone else.

Our friends to the North have heard enough from Iranian “president” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, thanks to his Holocaust-denying rants and virulent anti-Semitism. Canada plans to protest his presence today at the United Nations, with their entire delegation walking out of the chamber when Ahmadinejad takes the podium.

Maybe it’s just me, but I think I remember a time when Big Guy’s rant against America – if delivered by a foreign leader – would have been grounds for the American delegation walking out. Or perhaps I just have the vapors – from all the excitement. I guess it really is time for me to go back to NASA for a checkup. I think my D-drives need a little boost.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Pinched In Time?

I hope the fervor over MO and BO’s new Camelot book subsides soon. I just have a feeling that nothing good can come of it.

For one thing, I’ve noticed a lot of people around here are starting to Google “Vera Baker, sex scandal.” Yikes.

I, for one, am glad she’s in Martinique. If she was FLOTUS; my services would not be needed very often. I would be standing in a bread line with the other half of America.

So let me make this clear: there’s no proof (that we know of) that Vera was one of the people pinching Big Guy’s butt. Just all these hateful rumors.


And we know they’re just rumors, because the book review in the New York Daily News reported that:

Despite her husband's long absences on the campaign trail, Michelle never questioned his fidelity. "He's never given me reason to doubt him," she said. 

So we’ve got that going for us.

Dancing Brown Bears

Lady M was not amused by my fuzzy little gift.

I guess it was a dumb idea. But I thought after Tom Delay’s debut performance on Dancing With the brown bear Stars as a brown bear that maybe MO would like to enter Big Guy in the competition too. After all, there are still some nights that he doesn’t have a TV gig.



Besides, it was really just a joke, and I think he’s kind of cute:teddy obama

I’m afraid I hit a bit of a nerve however. It’s not that MO wouldn’t like to see BO’s head spin around a few times, since I guess he can be a bit of a stinker ( I just knew that new Book was going to cause trouble.) But Lady M isn’t going to let Big Guy anywhere near the hot babes on the sound stage. It seems that luscious women grabbing Big Guy’s butt and slipping a hand in his pocket didn’t go over so well on the old campaign trail. And one particularly troublesome groupie had to be – inexplicably – shipped off to Martinique.

All I have to say is she was lucky it was Big Guy she was messing with, because some of the babes that oiled Bill Clinton’s ego are still missing. Of course Hillary had been in politics a lot longer than Michelle has been, so she knew how to work with people behind the scenes a lot better. Mo’s got the Mojo however. I believe she’ll catch on real quick.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Grandma Would’ve Known Better

Wow! There’s been hell to pay around here today. MO is really, really upset that there’s been so much chatter about the frock she chose to wear to U.S. Army Sergeant First Class Jared C. Monti’s posthumous Medal of Honor Award ceremony.

She has no idea how it made it’s way around the blogosphere on Sunday, of all days, when Big Guy was busy in front of the cameras explaining to the likes of George Stephanopoulos what the meaning of “dictionary” is.

If it’s all right with you guys, I’d just as soon not volunteer any information involving how this picture might have slipped out. But I would like to take this opportunity to thank Pundit & Pundette for linking me on their site, and at Hot Air Greenroom,  as well as Fausta’s, Gateway Pundit, Dinah Lord and Celestial Junk. Thanks guys. It’s always nice to get a little boost. Especially when you start wondering if anyone even notices what you’re trying to do to help out.

But let’s just keep this our little secret. Lady M really hates it if I say “I told you so.” But anyone with half a brain would have know that dress would’ve made a better Catalina bathing suit for your grandma than a frock honoring a fallen hero.


The 40’s also  brought to the fore a more feminine swimsuit, like this safari print one that belonged to actress June Allyson.  Photo courtesy of


1940's Vintage Kamehameha

1940s Vintage Kamehameha Hawaiian Bathing Suit Swimsuit


1940s Vintage Kamehameha Hawaiian Bathing Suit Swimsuit $250.00 SWIM100 Incredible like new Vintage 40s 50s Pinup Hawaiian Bathing Suit Playsuit in the boldest, brightest colors. The design is so sweet with its elasticized neckline & straps, which are adjustable, built in bra pads, fully lined inside and gathered at the legs and short type outer bottom. This lovely romper suit zips up the back and ties at the waist. It is very flattering on and reminds me of the way a woman was dressed in an old pinup.

Ghosts of Olympics Past

Oh dear, I just heard from Rhambo that we’re dispatching an advance team to Copenhagen to pave the way for a possible personal appearance by Big Guy himself at the Olympic committee next month in Copenhagen.

Not that I have any problem with him tagging along, although I think Lady M wanted to surprise him with the new outfit she’s having fitted by Bibi Ghost while we’re there.  We spotted it in the Copenhagen Fashion Week news, and It was going to be a little Halloween surprise. Nice.

Bibi Ghost Copenhagen Fashion Week

But again, I digress. Chicago is apparently vying with Madrid, Tokyo and Rio de Janeiro to win the bid to host the 2016 Olympics. I just hope Toes isn’t planning on sending one of those Chicago thug squads over to make sure that the vote of the 100 member Olympic committee goes the right way.

Because it would really be embarrassing for the city of Chicago if they had to bring in Mitt Romney to clean up the mess.

Besides, we’re not even sure if BO can make it:

Ten days ago, Obama told Chicago Mayor Richard Daley that he might not be able to get away, because of the ongoing effort to pass a health care bill. But Obama still hopes to make the trip if he can do so without jeopardizing the reform bill, aides say…

"He wants to preserve his options," the advisor said in an interview today.

Even appearing on 5 Sunday shows yesterday, all pitching softballs, wasn’t enough to seal the deal. I sounds like most of the American people want to “preserve their options” too.

new yorker

Besides, Mo can handle this job just fine on her own, thank you.










We’re Number Won

The galley for this book has been laying around for weeks and I haven’t even cracked the cover because I thought my “up close and personal” provided more info than any book and bo bookThe book doesn’t even come out until the end of this month, but I’ve been told that it’s going to debut at number 1on the New York Times Bestsellers list! How do they do that? Toes advice: “don’t ask.”

Christopher Andersen,the author, has done biographies of Princess Diana and Caroline Kennedy: so his creds on covering the Royals are superb.

Here’s the first review from the New York Daily News. They reveal some here-to-for unknowable facts. For example, did you know that it was Lady M that put the kibosh on Hillary for Vice President?! I guess MO just knew she’d make a much better button “re-setter”  over at the State Department. I’m kind of glad she picked Joey B instead. He’s a lot more fun (except for that Pirate Day crap), and having to refract two big old butts around the White House all the time would be exhausting.

Besides, as you might remember, it was Hillary who had my legs lengthened to hide her cankles. I still have trouble with them when it rains.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Does This Zucchini Make My Butt Look Big?

Oh, and by the way –  for those of you who doubt my powers – I would like to submit exhibit A. This is what I could have done if I’d spotted that unauthorized photographer at the Market last Wednesday.

that's the power of transimaging copy

Just so you know. Don’t think for a moment that all we eat around here are organic vegetables.

I think this also explains my special Secret Service protection.

MO’s Very Busy Week

A lot of things swirling around Big MO this week. After a short hiatus, we’ve been in the news almost every day!

First the announcement that the neighbors back in the Chicago ‘hood are putting their house up for sale. It’s right next door, so I don’t see why Lady M doesn’t just buy it for extra closet space. We can’t live here for ever. I mean, can we? Here’s a pic:

5040Greenwood That’s our little bungalow right next door, to the left. The Grimshaw’s, who are selling their house talked to reporters on Monday:

As for living next to a sitting president, Jacky didn't sound too enthused.

"It's an advantage not having him here, because the security increases tenfold. It's challenging and really disrupts the neighborhood," Jacky said to CNBC reporters this morning.

I have just a teeny bit of advice: if you want to sell the place, quit bitching about the Secret Service detail and hassles. It’s going to be hard enough to dump this elephant.

On Wednesday afternoon, MO hosted a party for the Olympics and Paralympics on the South Lawn of the White House. This was great, after that little misunderstanding on the Jay Leno show last fall, when people thought Big Guy was making fun of the Paralympians.

paralylmpicsaHere he is with MO, laughing at them again. It’s ok now. He won.

Next, we had the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute's 32nd Annual Awards Gala at the Washington Convention Center. hispan2Wow! Loved those big purple balloon-y things. Looks a lot like the Copa Cabana. That’s why Lady M went with the understated black sequins.

I’ve never seen so many of those little umbrella drinks in every shade of fuchsia you can imagine. This is where Big Guy told everyone in attendance not to worry, he didn’t really plan on cutting them out of the free healthcare bill. We’re all going to be amigos!

latina worldIs it just me, or do you think Big Guy is starting to look a little bit like Putin? It was probably just the umbrella drinks. (His. I don’t imbibe while on duty.)

Then there was Market Day, but I’ve already told you about that. Only here’s a little picture that slipped out of MO in her “blue sweater and gray slacks” that some amateur photographer took while I wasn’t on guard.

market dayDon’t worry, they’ll never work in this town as long as the Obama’s are in power. But I just wanted to show you what I do for the American People, every day of my life.

We also had a sad duty on Thursday. We had to present the Presidential medal of honor to the parents of U.S. Army Sergeant First Class Jared C. Monti who was killed in Afghanistan in June 2006.medal of honor Jared Monti For what it’s worth, I advised MO against wearing this dress. Pattern, style, all inappropriate. The O’s still don’t seem to get the whole war thing.

Friday: back in our comfort zone. Preaching the “Softer-side of Obamacare. It was such a complete success. I really think the ruffles and belts did the trick.

hc2I know people have been calling this Lady M’s “bondage” look, but I think it’s just fine. Well, ok maybe we cinched it up just a bit too tight.hc Sometimes that pinching is what makes people think MO looks mean. She’s not. She’s just in pain.

I don’t think that’s what she meant, though, when she told the audience that women are sometimes “crushed by healthcare.

Pundit & Pundette linked. Thanks!