Saturday, August 15, 2020

Something Amazing Might Still Happen

This has been a pretty significant week news-wise.

  • A historical accord was signed between Israel and the UAE that paves the way for significant changes in the Middle East for the next century. (brokered by President Trump, who doesn’t know what he’s doing)

UNCOVERED: Obama Secretly Sent Additional $1.3B To Iran

Surprisingly, it did not involve a pallet of cash

  • ANTIFA/BLM continue to riot across America and the left seems perfectly fine with that, still resisting the assistance that Trump has offered in the form of Federal agents.

Dads join Portland's 'Wall of Moms' with leaf blowers to combat ...

No, seriously, we’ve got this!

Judge denies Portland's request to restrict federal agents | The Blade

  • The 9th Circuit finally (with as assist from a Trump appointed judge) finally gets something right: Federal Appeals Court Throws Out California Ban On Large-Capacity Gun Magazines. The court ruled that the state's "near-categorical ban of [the magazines] infringes on the fundamental right to self-defense." The decision is a blow to gun control activists.

The Second Amendment Is No Barrier to Stricter Gun LawsIt’s that pesky Constitution again!

  • The Crossfire Hurricane story has finally been approved for prime time and it’s been revealed that lead FBI lawyer Kevin Clinesmith changed an email in order to justify a FISA warrant for surveillance of a former Trump campaign adviser. Unfortunately it’s not available for streaming and we have to wait for next week’s installment. Sure don’t want to vindicate Trump to quickly.

  • Oh, and of course, Joey B selected Kamala as his handler.

Jamala: two bigger lying phonies would be hard to come by – unless we’re talking about a Clinton or an Obama.

So that’s the week so far. Stay tuned, there’s still today and something amazing might still happen. Possibly under the canopy of a tree, and most likely while you are reading a good book.

20 Amazing Pictures of Nature's Creativity - Trees | Nature tree ...

Friday, August 14, 2020

Team Jamala: You Know the Thing

And representing the Blue Team…

Kamala Harris and Joe Biden Are a Power Duo — and Their Birth ...

It’s Team Jamala!

So far the Jamala presidential platform includes open borders, Medicare for all, forgiveness of student loans, the Green New Deal, taking a knee and…federally mandated face masks. No exceptions: from New York City (density 26,400/sq. mile) to Wrangell, Alaska (density 0.9 /sq. mile) and everywhere in between.

Moose Mask Stock Illustrations – 104 Moose Mask Stock ...MAGU: Make Amerika Gag Up! (I can’t breathe!)

Henceforth we will refer to the Blue Team’s platform as  the Mr. MAGU agenda.

Keep it up Team Jamala and you might just push entrenched #NeverTrumpers over to the Donald’s side.

How Trump Won Over the Never Trumpers - The Atlantic

Although, as demonstrated by Neo, some, like Bernie Goldberg, remain as absurdly irrational as ever. He fervently hopes the Democrats don’t win, but not so much as to actually allow himself to vote for Trump. As Mr. Spock would note, that’s illogical.

Positions such as Goldberg’s are a bizarre sort of virtue-signaling that seems self-indulgent and illogical. And yet, those are rather common traits these days. The way I see such a stance is that people who hold it are treating an election not as a contest between two people and their parties’ policies but rather as a test of their own personal moral rectitude as reflected in the moral rectitude of the person for whom they vote. If the candidate isn’t up to standard, the vote cannot be tendered, and such voters can brag about their own uprightness while the country falls apart and they’ve done nothing to stop that from happening. But what’s most important to them is that they feel they can hold their heads high.

Is it possible that asymptomatic corona virus has a lingering effect on the brain? Such that it interferes with normal rational thought? If so I would suggest we should test both Goldberg and Biden for COVID-19 antigens.

“You know the thing”

I’m Mr. Magoo, and I think I endorse this message.

The New York Times | 2020 | Cartoons | Tom Stiglich | AAEC

Thursday, August 13, 2020

Throwback Thursday: Keep the Fire Burning

It’s Throwback Thursday: today’s edition is dedicated to  the cult classic TV show Twin Peaks by David Lynch and Mark Frost (1990-91).

Today’s that day.

If you’re not familiar, and I suppose most people are not, Twin Peaks was a weird, campy murder mystery soap opera set in the fictional Washington town of Twin Peaks. The plot is twisted, the characters eccentric and everyone eats at the Double R Diner where they serve the best cherry pie in the state. One of the campiest of the eccentric characters is the Log Lady, seen here at the Double R:

“You wear shiny objects on your chest. Are you proud?”

Is it just me or does the log lady remind anyone else of a vanilla version of Kamala Harris?

Biden VP Pick Kamala Harris Compared Border Security To The KKK

“Are you aware of the perception of many about how the power and the discretion at ICE is being used to enforce the laws and do you see any parallels [to the KKK]?” - Harris, questioning Ronald D. Vitiello, acting director of the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) during his confirmation hearing. 

You can’t see it but Kamala also carries a log. She used hers to whack Vitiello clean out of contention for the permanent job.

So welcome to Twin Peaks, a surrealistic world populated by nefarious characters and subplots where - you discover early-on who the evil perpetrator is - the drama just goes on and on.

We just want to keep the fire burning. One log at a time.

Thousands of protesters gather in Seattle in solidarity with ...

Coming soon to a city near you!

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Game On

And so it’s Kamala. Of course it’s Kamala.

She didn’t get those cheeky implants for nothing. Or maybe it was just fillers and Botox.

By all accounts she’s smart, ambitious, shrewd and ruthless – just like Joe, except for the smart part.

It’s unfortunate that with all of her skills and talent she’ll always be best known for practicing her wily babe-like charms on hapless politicians in a position to advance her career. The campaign jokes have already started writing themselves; decorum prevents me from repeating them but don’t let that stop you.

Unfortunately Politico let the cat out of the bag by jumping the gun 10 days early:

"Joe Biden chose Kamala Harris to become his running mate for the 2020 election on Aug. 1, two weeks before the Democratic National Convention, after keeping his choice close to the chest for months.

In his announcement, Biden, 77, called Harris "a worthy opponent and a worthy running mate," alluding to the pair's rivalry during the earlier stages of the Democratic primary. She will bring her experience as a prosecutor, household name recognition, and skill as a debater to the ticket." - Politico, August 1, 2020

Apparently they didn’t realize exactly how long it takes for fillers and Botox to settle in before you are ready for prime time.

kamala-harris-face-1595365154931.pngJuly 18, 2020. Kamala doing her impersonation of the equally likable Susan Rice

 Let the games begin.

Tuesday, August 11, 2020

We’re Going To Need Bigger Jails; And Smaller Cities

Chicago, like Seattle and Portland, is now under siege by the BLM Marxist-terrorists as the near North side (Miracle Mile) endured night two of rioting and looting.

“The mayor clearly has not learned anything since May, and she would be wise to understand that the people will keep rising up until the CPD is abolished and our Black communities are fully invested in.”

We’re going to need a much bigger jail

Trust me, this stuff is not difficult to grasp. Once people no longer feel safe they will leave.

The coordinated looting that overwhelmed police and left huge swaths of downtown and the Near North Side ransacked threatens to turn Chicago into pre-renaissance Detroit…

You don’t want to be pre-renaissance Detroit, a place where once there were buildings

Businesses that survived the stay-at-home shutdown and sustained heavy losses during the looting in late May triggered by the death of George Floyd may be reluctant to rebuild for fear they won’t be protected. Even if they do, customers may not feel safe shopping, dining or going to the theater downtown.

Empty-nesters and young people drawn to the city by the nightlife and cultural attractions that made Chicago a magnet for corporate headquarters may abandon the city as well because they, too, no longer feel safe.  – Chicago-Sun Times

And they won’t come back. Certainly not in your lifetime.

Trust me citizens of Chicago, Seattle, Portland, New York, Minneapolis, LA, you don’t want to watch this play out. It’s slow, ugly, painful and seems terminal.

What happens when you’re done redistributing all the wealth

It will be decades before there is even talk about rebirth and decades more before anything begins to take root, if ever. So instead of destroying more American cities what do you say we send the terrorists to jail and let the rest of America get back to work.

Monday, August 10, 2020

The Year May Be A Shambles But Dinner Shall Triumph

You know what we could really use? One of these…

only for 2020.

Absent that I think I’ll just try to squeeze everything I can out of what’s left of summer. I’ll start with some juicy tomatoes of all colors, size, shape and stripes because that’s just the way I am: completely onboard with diversity.

Summer Tomato and Zucchini Halloumi Bake | @hbharvest

Combined with some zucchini, sausage,halloumi and a few other ingredients the tomatoes will turn out a fine dinner for you.

Summer tomato and zucchini halloumi bake 

Serve warm, topped with fresh basil and toast for dipping. The spinach is optional and you can sub fresh mozzarella for the halloumi if you’d like, but why would you?

The world may be in shambles but dinner will still be a triumph. 


Come to think of it 1939 wasn’t such a swell year either. And yet…here we all are.

Sunday, August 9, 2020

Lady M Haz a Sad: A Return of the But(t)

I’ve enjoyed reading about Michelle Obama’s shtruggles during these trying times. Despite the debut(t) of the full-length version of her autobiography, Becoming, and the launch of a new podcast on Spotify Lady M tells us how she is managing 'low-grade depression' in these trying times.

Another dog faced pony soldier haz a sad

Former first lady Michelle Obama, in a new episode of her podcast on Wednesday, acknowledged that she is "dealing with some form of low-grade depression" this year.

"Not just because of the quarantine, but(t) because of the racial strife, and just seeing this administration, watching the hypocrisy of it, day in and day out, is dispiriting."

She blames, in part, the Trump administration's response to current events for her depression.

I was pleased to see that she’s still speaking as coherently as ever:

"I don't think I'm unusual, in that," Obama said. "But(t) I'd be remiss to say that part of this depression is also a result of what we're seeing in terms of the protests, the continued racial unrest, that has plagued this country since its birth. 

I think she means she’d ‘be remiss IF I DIDN’T say…’ but(t) if she’s depressed you can’t expect proper syntax, we didn’t get that even when she was on top of her game. Besides her real point is that this is a racist country, always has been and Trump is the biggest racist of all.

I have to say that waking up to the news, waking up to how this administration has or has not responded, waking up to yet another story of a Black man or a Black person somehow being dehumanized, or hurt or killed, or falsely accused of something, it is exhausting. [ed. no kidding] And it has led to a weight that I haven't felt in my life, in a while.

I hate to be a stickler but(t) which is it MO, a weight she hasn’t “felt in her life” or a weight she hasn’t “felt in a while,” they’re mutually exclusive, which you probably would have noticed were you not so depressed.

…So you kinda have to sit in it for a minute, to know, oh, oh, I'm feeling off. So now I gotta, I gotta feed myself with something better."

Michelle Obama Says She's Suffering From 'Low-Grade Depression ...I don’t know about ‘better’ but(t) she has definitely been feeding

If my memory of the White House years serves that “something better” included wagyu beef, lobster, caviar, Grey Goose, Dom Perignon and a variety of pies baked fresh daily. You don’t suppose their new circumstances(net worth $130 mil) prohibit them from enjoying such fare on a regular basis do you? I should hope not as our betters definitely deserve it.

I note with a complete lack of surprise how quickly the left took criticism of her remarks from the right (such as the one you’re now reading) to be an indication of how rass-ist we are. What else could it be, in a country that’s been plagued with racism since its birth? This is Mother Jones’ take on it:

But(t) of course, it didn’t take long for some on the right to weaponize Obama’s candor since it included a slight (slight?!) dig at President Donald Trump… 

Such attacks aren’t surprising. They’re from the same kind of people who have long hurled racist and downright absurd attacks against the Obamas…For them, Obama’s willingness to show vulnerability is an invitation to pummel, or as she might call it, go low, with the same recycled attacks.

So I suspect they’d be somewhat critical of me even bringing this up but(t) the most surprising aspect of Lady M’s podcast was this:

"Barack has taught the girls spades, so now there's this vicious competition," she said. "They wouldn't have sat down, but(t) for this quarantine, to learn how to play a card came with their dad." USA Today

Spades!?  I couldn’t even say that in jest without being thrown in Twitter jail for life.

Best to slap a face mask over it and just shut up!

Well I sure hope MO get’s over her retrograde depression. I daresay all of us can relate having suffered from it for 8 years while having nothing better to feed ourselves than hamburger and scrambled eggs. Turns out turnabout is fair play.

Yeah, let’s have more of this dynamic duo, that’ll help with the depression pandemic