Saturday, October 27, 2012

It’s 3:00 AM, Barry’s Asleep? Hey, he’s got a fundraiser in Vegas in the morning!

We’ve already asked “What didn’t he know, and when didn’t he know it.” Now it looks like “some people” are going to ask “what did he - or didn’t he – order, and why?”  Butt let me be clear: we won’t be asking him any of those questions until after the reelection. Because, as you know,

“The election has nothing to do with four brave Americans getting killed and us wanting to find out exactly what happened," Obama said in an interview with KUSA, the NBC affiliate in Denver.”

"Nobody wants to find out more what happened than I do.”

Some people might be wondering who would know what happened better than Big Guy himself, as he is technically the nerve center of the, uh, you know, War on Terror.

--bo stoned colorado interview“Who is this punk-a**  KUSA reporter and who does he think he’s talking too?”

And let’s not let this wild goose chase for the truth allow us to lose sight of Job One: WTF (Winning the Future).


Because that “vision” thing of his – to fundamentally transform America - hasn’t been fully implemented yet.

Fascism.obama vision for americajpg

So, with an eye to that end (WTF) we bolstered GDP this month with additional government deficit spending and jiggled the unemployment numbers with mathamagicals last month (look for more of the same next week) to get the economy “headed in the right direction.” And don’t forget: we more or less ended the War on Terror when BO whacked Osama. Although admittedly, as of late it looks a little more like “less” than “more.”

The good news is that most of the State Run Media is going along with the “improved economy” line of reporting, with the exception of a few random acts of journalism as previously noted:

Pressed twice during the KUSA interview, Obama wouldn't address a Friday report suggesting that the Americans in Benghazi asked for more assistance as the Sept. 11 attack was taking place, and instead stressed that his administration is engaged in a thorough investigation.

That last part is the tell. Once we start side stepping questions with the standard lawyerly “ongoing investigation” excuse you can pretty much guarantee we’re in cover-up mode. So Big Guy and all of his Horseman of the Apocalypse are busily telling everyone that “the election has nothing to do with the Libyan deaths.” Oh how we long for the good old days when all we had to do was say it to make it so!

barry pharoah-WM“So let it be written, so let it be done.”

Now days we’ve got people butting in all over the place, saying things like,

“don't let anybody tell you Benghazi isn't important. If it wasn't important it would not be worth lying about for six whole weeks before the election.”

Butt don’t worry, we’ve got plausible deniability and a great coverup for why no help was sent to aid our fallen Ambassador in Benghazi:

At a Pentagon news briefing, Panetta said there was no "real-time information" to be able to act on, even though the U.S. military was prepared to do so.

"You don't deploy forces into harm's way without knowing what's going on," Panetta said. "(We) felt we could not put forces at risk in that situation."

"You had the movie, the 9/11 anniversary and unrest in various countries in that region. All that factored into the decision to put troops on a heightened state of alert. But that doesn't mean forces are positioned everywhere in the world, ready to run to the rescue…And there was no actionable intelligence that Benghazi was going to be attacked on 9/11."

Apparently we have implemented new rules of engagement. You may wish to familiarize yourself with them, in case you and your family are impacted at some point in the future. Here is how a few scenarios could play out under the new rules. Dateline Detroit, October 30th:


  • It’s Devil’s Night in Detroit and a massive, accelerant-fueled fire erupts in a  church. The priest calls 911 from the rectory to report it and is told: “I’m sorry, we can’t  deploy fire department personnel into harm's way without knowing what's going on. Just because we’re the Fire Department doesn’t mean that we have forces positioned everywhere in the city, ready to run to the rescue…”



  • It’s 3:00 am. You’re awakened by the sound of men kicking in your door. You gather your children and lock yourselves in the bathroom and call 911. Meanwhile your husband grabs a baseball bat and stands in the hall, ready to beat back the home invaders in an attempt to protect you with the only weapon he has at his disposal. Your frantic call to 911 for help elicits the following response from the operator: “I’m sorry, we do not have sufficient information to send officers into harm’s way. Since what you’re reporting is an uncertain situation, your request for police support is denied for now butt we’ll get back you in 24 hours if we can establish adequate intelligence to warrant police action.”


  • Meanwhile, police officers take it upon themselves to respond to your call for help. They encounter armed suspects at your home who fire at them. One officer is hit and the other officer radios for backup. The police dispatcher responds: “I’m sorry, your request for backup is denied. We can not put additional forces at risk in a situation without adequate real time intelligence.”

Butt try not to let yourself get distracted with all this Libya stuff. Lady M is staying focused like a laser beam on what’s most important right now. Although it does look like the troops are starting to demonstrate a little campaign fatigue:

mo middle school las vegas

Lady M is still going schtrong.

mo middle school las vegas2

NOTE: Raj and I are off to another one of the nieces’ (so far, 4 nieces/nephews down, 18 to go!) weddings across state and won’t be able to check in until late evening. Carry on troops!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Mireille Buser on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Math-O-matics: Tweedle-Dumb and Tweedle-Dumber




and now back to the original post:

This doesn’t add up does it?

bo jay tonight“I was told there would be no math.”

During his appearance on Jay Leno last night, President Obama admitted that he struggles with math above a 7th grade level.

Leno read the president a question from a viewer asking him what subject was the most difficult to help his daughters with, while doing homework.

Well, the math stuff I was fine with up until about seventh grade,” Obama said. “But Malia is now a freshman in High School and I’m pretty lost.”

That might be surprising to many people in the media who – while they can’t do math themselves, assumed that the smartest man ever to become president could. In retrospect though, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised because when you think about it, it explains a lot.

For example, it explains why BO thought he could implement Obamacare without bankrupting America. I think he got the decimal point in the wrong place.

decimals7th grade math doesn’t go beyond the “millions”

It also might explain why he doesn’t like “Jack” Ryan very much: remember when “Jack” lectured Big Guy for 6 straight minutes on why the Obamacare math just didn’t add up – without a teleprompter! Nobody likes a smarty pants, especially one who showing off his math skills.

Boy, that was pretty disrespectful, “Jack.” No wonder Big Guy returned the favor in the only way he knows how: dismissively and derisively.

PaulRyanWith all due respect Mr. President, hectoring me doesn’t change your numbers.

Anyway, our Preezy’s math phobia also explains why he still doesn’t understand why his 1% solution can’t eliminate a $16 trillion federal deficit. Because the 1% is really, really rich, right? And can afford to pay a little more, right?

buffet rule Unfortunately, the math just doesn’t ad up. Again.

Butt getting back to the math: it might surprise some people that the smartest man in the room isn’t, by his own admission, very good at math. That doesn’t prove he isn’t smart of course. Besides, once he figured out that Joey B and Nancy P weren’t good at math either, he hired some little people to run the numbers for him. I can’t confirm the rumor that the job was sent off-shore to China, butt as everybody knows, the Chinese are really good at math.

And since this is the political silly season, no sooner did BO admit to being a little math challenged than people started piling on. Take Jeff Connaughton, for example. This former Joey B aide just published a book about the collaborative corruption inherent in his two former careers, politics and lobbying. No news there, butt he did also review this little tidbit about the Won and the Vice-Won, both known for their exceptional IQ’s:

President Obama and Biden, he writes, are “both financially illiterate.”

That’s just crazy, isn’t it? The two men with the highest IQ’s of anyone to ever hold the  respective offices of Preezy and Vice-Preezy?

OBAMA-EMANUEL/ After a pause, Alice began, ‘Well! They were both very unpleasant characters —’

Anyway, the more I reflect on it the more I think Big Guy’s math dyslexia could explain everything that’s gone wrong since his coronation inauguration. Maybe he just doesn’t realize that a deficit is actually a negative number. I’m not sure they even cover negative numbers till 8th grade.

And perhaps he doesn’t understand the auto companies fuel efficiency standards are governed more by the laws of physics (duh – math!) than EPA regulations.

fuel standard cupOh alright then, 54.6 MPG. Butt I’m not going a decimal point lower!

That economic projections are more accurate if developed with models using old fashioned math instead of the new fuzzy mathamagicals.

clint make my day

And why giving money to green energy companies currently operating in the red (that’s another one of those pesky negative numbers) and no business model demonstrating how to turn this around is a recipe for disaster;

solar22or at least a criminal investigation.

“Already, I’ve seen the payoff from these investments.” BHO, speaking about Abound Solar Energy, July 3, 2010 (during the “Summer of Recovery”)

abound solar panelA little applied thermodynamics might have prevented this problem, butt once again: math.

In Big Guy’s defense, community organizers don’t have much use for math beyond the 7th grade level.



So, like Big Guy said: “This isn’t class warfare. This is simple math. These are real choices that we have to make.”


Stupid_Obama_Poster_by_ConservatoonsSo before you make that decision, remember: you can change the President butt you can’t fix stupid.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

October Surprise: Lies, Lies, Lies. See Where We’re Going Here?

Ok, listen up. We’ve got a lot of critical stories to cover today: 1) Big Guy’s newest Blueprint for Fundamentally Transforming America, 2) the “October Surprise” compliments of Gloria Allred and 3) why it’s been so quiet around here with respect to Benghazi-gate.

Starting from the top: “BO’s Little Book of Revelation” aka the “The Second, Second Coming of the Messiah.”

Keep-the-Dream-calendar August, from “Keep the Dream” calendar  (H/T Brietbart, birth certificate compliments Donald Trump)

Unfortunately it’s not going to take the Right Wing Truthy-Team long to comb through the details and announce that it’s a mixture of old news, half-truths and lies.

For example, they’ll probably start with page 4:

bo refusing to let detroit bankrupt

“We refused to let Detroit go bankrupt.”

First: if Big Guy was talking about GM and Chrysler, they, uh, DID go bankrupt. Only instead of going through a Chapter 11 bankruptcy under the terms of the bankruptcy laws (written by Congress, designed to provide assistance to the distressed company in reorganization while still protecting their creditors) the Autos got to follow “BO’s Chicago Rules of Bankruptcy.” This shortcut allowed GM and Chrysler to stay afloat with taxpayer loans while screwing the “preferred” bond holders (aka “widows and orphans” normally first in line for repayment in a bankruptcy, by contract and law) in order to give preferential treatment to the Big Union (UAW) for consistently supporting Big Guy in his efforts to fundamentally transform America.

Now, it’s possible that Big Guy wasn’t talking about the Auto bailout. Maybe he was talking about Detroit itself (there are a lot of voters there who benefited from “Obama’s stash.”). Unfortunately, that claim is a little tougher to support. While not “technically” in receivership, Detroit is de facto bankrupt and operating under a consent agreement with the State of Michigan to avoid Governor Snyder appointing an Emergency Financial Manager  (which would allow him to bypass the good counsel and judgment of the sitting City Council).

Oh and by the way; the city unions don’t like the state’s Emergency Manager Law because it empowers the manager to nullify their contracts (just like in bankruptcy court!) and force them to renegotiate the terms whether they want to or not.


Hello goose. Meet gander.

Either way, I’m not sure page 4 is going to pass the truthiness test. And don’t even get me started on the “tax deductions for shipping jobs overseas” canard! I’ve  been trying to tell Big Guy for weeks there aren’t any specific deductions for “shipping jobs overseas” butt he’s been too distracted to pay attention. Plus, he thinks “it works” with his base.

I haven’t time to go through all the other pages, butt I think you get the idea.

recycled hope and changeShampoo. Rinse. Repeat.

So let’s get on with Gloria’s October surprise. That’s it? That’s the October surprise? “Spurned wife spends 25 years focused on getting even with her ex-husband. And  anyone else she can blame in the process?” Yes, I do believe that’s about it.

Maureen Stemberg, acrimoniously divorced from ex-Staples CEO Mark Stemberg in 1987, claims that Mitt Romney isn’t a nice guy, and somehow caused her to sell off half of her 500,000 shares of Staples stock before it went public and was worth a lot more money. That’s really weak cheese. (h/t: Dennis Miller)

If we’re going to WTF we’re going to need an October surprise a little more surprising than finding a plastic ring in a box of Crackerjack at the World Series, which, by the by, is now underway. Sorry about last night DeweySad smile.

Never-the-less, this is a tragedy of untold proportions: just ask Gloria-patron-saint-of-spurned-women-Allred. Now, I’m not saying that the ex-Mrs. Stemberg is a whack job, you can reach that conclusion on your own, I’m just saying she doesn’t seem to be the most, uh, stable of Staples’ stockholders.

gloria allredHollow-women & Big Hair

Butt she does look good for a made over 61 year old Real Housewife of Boston. And for the record: this revelation has nothing to do with Gloria being an Obama delegate and groupie. Sheeze! “You people” are just so darn cynical.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump is offering to buy the truth about Barry for a measly $5 million. Apparently he thinks BO’s a cheap date.

Now, regarding Benghazi-gate: you do realize that we have a presidential campaign going on don’t you? So you understand that we can’t fit a full debriefing in until after November 6th, right? Okay, ‘nuf said. Everyone move along now. Nothing to see here. If that’s not enough for you there’s a recap on BlackFive which I highly recommend you not read until after the re-election.

The President made the decision to not use F18s (even in a flyover to shake the resolve of the terrorists).  The President made the decision to go to Vegas to a campaign dinner. 

So what is worse than our State people now knowing that the President will do nothing if they are attacked?

Al Qaeda knows that now, too.

So here’s our summary of today’s news:

On the Notebook of Revelation, Erin Burnett recaps ( looking like she’s trying out for a gig on Newsbusters Newsbusted segment). Boy, if you’ve lost the Street Sweetie…

Regarding the Battle of the Big Brands:

trump the donald's hairgloria's halloween closeup

Gloria has better hair, butt those eyes are just spooky. I’m giving it to Trump, by a neck.

And finally, with respect to Benghazi-gate, hmmm. Apparently we’ve already launched into revisionist history-ville. “Carney: Everyone knew about terrorist claims ‘instantaneously.’”


Well, shoot, man, why didn’t you just say so and call it a day then?


Note: sorry, unedited draft inadvertently posted earlier.

Linked By: BadBlue, and AnnieLaurie on twitter, and  BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Obama’s Cliff Notes Economy: “I’ve got a binder too!”

Uh oh! What fresh hell is this? An email trail? That leads directly to everybody and their grandmother?

Wow! This is news: it looks like Benghazi was described as a terror attack just two hours after the attack began. Who knew!?

Apparently everyone.

Delete those files for crying out loud. And when you purge those pesky, smoking gun emails, just make sure you hit “Delete Email” NOT the whole BHO beta program:

uninstall-obama-uninstalling-barack-hussein-obama-virus-found-sad-hill-news-13H/T SadHill

Note to self: be careful who you throw under the bus next time.

Anyway, it’s becoming increasingly evident why Bubba has become one of Big Guy’s most trusted advisors as of late - he has a lot of experience in this area:


“…the House of Representatives voted to impeach Clinton for not only perjury but obstruction of justice. Despite the scandal, Clinton maintained relatively high approval ratings from the American public, and the Senate acquitted him of the charges.”

However, now that Bubba’s life partner has been pressed into service as the fall gal in  Benghazi-gate, can Big Guy continue to rely on getting the same kind of good advice from him that Hilz does?

bill hill haiti“Ah tried to warn you he was a snake Hil, next time maybe you’ll listen to ol’ Bubba.”

Between the newly leaked emails and the unauthorized exposure of all of the lies that Big Guy had to tell at the debate the other night in order to WIN on points, things are looking sort of bad around here. How bad? Well, we’ve decided to start talking about the economy.

The campaign Big Brains published a brand new 20 page Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! booklet for Big Guy to wave around on the trail. The book - “The New Economic Patriotism,” subtitled: “A day late and a dollar short so can I pay you in cliches?” is flying off the shelves.

obamaplan jobsIf this weren’t a real plan, could I do this with it?

As I said, it’s a 20 page brochure (although 19 of them are cartoons);

ramirez_jobs for plumbers2011_09_15Plumber jokes!?! Have you idiots never heard of Watergate?

butt it contains a whole bunch of details, including a new 7 point plan:

  • Reviving American Manufacturing (“GM’s alive and…well, never mind)
  • Energy Made in America (Green energy that is: no gas, oil, coal or nuclear)
  • Growing Small Businesses ( How to grow a small business? Start with a big one.)
  • Quality Education (more and better paid union teachers!)
  • Cutting The Deficit By More Than $4 Trillion (in 2065)
  • Putting YOU in Charge of Your Health Care (take the pain pill and good luck!)
  • Protecting Retirement Security (Convert to Canadian dollars.)

Quick Cliff Notes summary: stimulate the economy by investing more of your tax dollars in education, infrastructure, green energy.

ramirez.obama job planpg“We’re on correct path now comrades.”

So okay, our economic recovery has been a little slower than we expected. Butt at least we don’t have any more of that Bush era crony capitalism around here. From now on it’s strictly Obama era.

brothers bidenThe Brothers Biden: two of the luckiest guys in the world. What are the odds?

So between our new Jobs! Jobs! Jobs! plan, and Harvey’s new movie coming out next week (starring BO as the HERO!) I think we can deflect this new Republican campaign for truthiness and WTF.

And if that doesn’t work, we can still deploy our secret weapon.

mo weighs inLady M weighs in: Whoop! Whoop!

Because nobody can speak from the heart about the Emancipation Proclamation like MO:

The Emancipation Proclamation was signed a century and a half ago. The marches and boycotts and lunch counter sit-ins of the civil rights era are 50 or 60 years behind us.

And today, there are no longer any separate water fountains, no more guards keeping any of our children from the schoolhouse door.  That’s a sign of how far we’ve come – we live in a world with progress that our parents and grandparents would never have even dreamed of.

But that doesn’t mean that our work is finished.

Obama_-_My_Work_Here_Is_DoneAu contraire mon chéri!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and AnnieLaurie on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,Thanks!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

He’s not really one of us

The over-nights are in, and it looks like the experts believe that, technically, Big Guy won the round on points butt is still losing the match.

154539355MB00035_Obama_And_Boy! What’s a guy got to do to WIN around here?

Everybody says BO won the foreign affairs portion of the foreign affairs debate because Mr. Romney didn’t challenge him on his weak-cheese handling of Libya. Still, they’re giving the whole meghillah to the rich white guy because he won the economic debate (again) and looked more presidential (again)?


mitt bo presleft, right

And hey, don’t get me wrong - I enjoy snarking as much as the next guy! Butt somehow it seems more appropriate on my little blog than on the presidential debate stage. Which is probably why everybody is saying this morning that Romney seemed “presidential” and BO seemed,  well, “hectoring” “petty” “pompous” “petulant” “childish” “smug” and “snarky” – which I think gives snarky a bad wrap.

Romney on the other hand was calm, graceful, winsome. The snarkiest the Governor got was to surreptitiously correct BO’s pronunciation of “Pakistan” and “derisive.” And let the fact checkers reflect that Mr. Romney’s pronunciation was correct on both counts - at least as for as Americans are concerned.

sesame street lettersP is for [pak-is-stan] and D is for [dih-rai-siv] note: does not rhyme with “dismissive”

I know everybody was disappointed that Big Guy didn’t get a chance to smack the Governor down again going after Big Guy’s (mis)handling of the Libya terror attack. Apparently Mitt decided to dodge that snare for fear of getting dragged down into the same rabbit hole the Preezy dragged us into:

ALICE: [Angrily] Why, how impolite of him. I asked him a civil question, and he pretended not to hear me. That's not at all nice. [Calling after him] I say, Mr. White Rabbit, where are you going? Hmmm. He won't answer me. And I do so want to know what he is late for. jpgThat’s right, I said it! Terror! Check the transcript Candy!

ALICE [Falling]: How curious. I never realized that rabbit holes were so dark . . . and so long . . . and so empty. I believe I have been falling for five minutes, and I still can't see the bottom!

bob schiefferDon’t worry boys, I’ve got your back. You have my word.

And it’s too bad, because Big Guy was really loaded for bear on Benghazi-gate this time: he had ten ways to Tuesday to lie about spell out why he didn’t say what you thought he said and didn’t do what you thought he did (or didn’t) do. It’s not a coincidence that it was the first question out of Bob Schieffer’s mouth. It’s almost as if Romney knew what BO’s strategy was.

So by side-stepping the issue Mitt threw Big Guy’s timing off and left him a little hare-triggered (sic) the rest of the night.

bo abyss into the lightIt remains unclear at what point the administration first entered the rabbit hole,

ofaxxxx_cat_collar_michellebutt presidential historians will debate the point for many years to come.

Perhaps that’s why he looked so dyspeptic throughout the debate.

bob schieffer2bo's jaw

BO, I mean.

Anyway, not being able to lie about explain Libya further the Preezy had nowhere to go other than his fallback strategy: calling his opponent a liar. With a little help from his friends (see above) that plan usually works. Even if your opponent denies it. Because after all, who would expect the leader of the free world to sit up there center stage and lie? So, with that cover, and knowing that after the last debate debacle there would be no real-time fact checking on stage, that’s the route we took.

Here are just a couple of the little white-rabbit lies that we had to deploy in order to WTF:

Ohatter-wm copy

  • Romney’s statement of BO’s position on Iraq (fact check, Romney was correct)
  • Romney’s position on the GM bankruptcy and government backed loans, to wit:
    • “The American auto industry is vital to our national interest as an employer and as a hub for manufacturing. A managed bankruptcy may be the only path to the fundamental restructuring the industry needs. It would permit the companies to shed excess labor, pension and real estate costs. The federal government should provide guarantees for post-bankruptcy financing and assure car buyers that their warranties are not at risk.” (fact check, Romney was correct.)
  • BO’s insistence that the college tuition program in Massachusetts happened before he became governor. (fact check, Romney was correct: The John and Abigail Adams scholarship program began in 2004 when Mitt was governor.)

I really should talk to Dr. Sanity about this pathological knee-jerk reaction on Big Guy’s part to, uh, obfuscate when the facts are a bit unseemly. I’m sure it has something to do with his childhood. Or maybe it’s just the stress, in which case it should go away soon.

And the fact remains; just because these “facts” can be disproved, Big Guy still WON the debate! Because, as we’ve discussed before “the rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday – but never jam to-day.”

jamNew Presidential Debate scoring rules: facts be damned

Butt enough about that, let’s talk wardrobe, shall we? Once again our frugal FLOTUS wore recycled Thom Browne, winner of Lady M’s National Design Award this year (rerun, butt do not miss) from the DNC convention:

       mo lacednc speeches mo

Last night, with the special “wrap it up” pin and, right, at the DNC, with the “put a wrap on it” Joe

It was a custom dress made exclusively for Lady M in midnight lace and, I think, from Thom’s “Real Housewives” line.


So, Governor Romney’s take away message: "President Obama promised to begin to slow the rise of the oceans and heal the planet. MY promise... is to help you and your family." And Big Guys: “Make sure you keep those Chinese tires properly inflated, I promise to overrule Congress on sequestration, and let me just remind you that I whacked Osama.”

Oh and one last thing: Mitt Romney? He’s not really one of us.

bo mo mitt not one of usIs that a dog whistle I hear?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and AnnieLaurie on twitter. and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!