Saturday, March 6, 2010

Ut Is Absolutely Has Futurus Said Tamen Forsitan Melior Nisi Agnosco

English Please:

When it absolutely has to be said, but perhaps better if not understood.

All my MOLs know regular contributor and previous “Golden FLOTUS” award winner, (yes another Golden FLOTUS will be awarded soon) Mrs. P. But did you know that she hosts her own blog: Patum Peperium which is also, and always, linked right down there on the right, under my fabulous, and important awards, and my BFF Dewey From Detroit link.

It’s a really fun blog with great pictures and even greater articles and stories. I go there every day. Ok M, get to the point.

Well the other day, Mrs. P gave us a story providing a defense for the continued use of Latin!!! No, really, Latin. You must read it yourself.

Anyway, Mrs. P sums it up by concluding that we need Latin:

When it absolutely has to be said, but perhaps better if not understood.

This is so what Team Obama has been waiting for.

When I told Toes about it, he let out a scream so high pitched that no one could doubt his ballet creds. He immediately ordered the staff to translate all our Marxist revolutionary historic plans (Health Care Takeover, Cap & Tax, Mandatory Union Membership, etc) into Latin. He had originally suggested Hebrew late last year, but Hillary absolutely, positively nixed that.

He even had Raj install all available Latin language packs on TOTUS’  and my hard drives, without  budget authorization! When Toxic Timmy asked him where the money was going to come form, Toes glared at him and said “out of your a#&, tax cheat.”

Axe-man told Gibbsy to tweet the supportive press corpse, advising that all future talking points press releases would be written in Latin.

So here I am, trying out my new Latin language packs. What do you think?

MOTUS latin copy

I’m a little worried about what Joey B and Gibbsy are going to get me into if they find out about that 3rd Latin pack.

Boob Belt Fever: The Movie

In honor of tomorrow’s Academy Awards, I’m presenting you, the loyal Friends of MOTUS, with an exclusive viewing of a clip from my feature length film, MORE BOOB BELT! submitted at this year’s Sundance Festival. We didn’t win, (now I know how Lady M and Big Guy felt on the way back from Copenhagen) but we’re still negotiating with RFD-TV for distribution rights. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the trailer:

Inspiration: Gerard @American Digest with h/t to SNARKY BASTERD @ Feed Your ADHD


Linked By: American Digest, Thanks!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Step Up & Move, Amigo

Wow! Can Lady M ever kick butt soccer balls!


Here I thought I had a free day, but it turns out we had a big soccer date announcing a new partnership between the U.S. Soccer Foundation and the National Alliance for Hispanic Health.


So in case you thought Lady M was just picking on black kids with her No Child’s Fat Behind program, she’s moved on to harp at Hispanic kids today. I think Irish kids are next in line.This is a post-racial presidency, after all.  We’re expecting funding for Irish Step-Dancing with Michael Flatterly any day now.

DNEWS Rhythm of Ireland

Besides, if we’re going to join in the Celtic dancing, it means we must GO SHOPPING! I’ve already got the shoes, mcqueen shoes

but I’m looking for some of you designers out there to step up to the plate (so to speak) and send us an appropriate dress for MO to wear. Otherwise, we’re going to have to go with this:mo step dancer-2 copy   Highlights from the soccer camp:


You, Pedro! Drop that Snickers bar, or I’ll kick your big fat butt!


And the best news out of all of this: these are the best fitting slacks we’ve ever owned.

Yes Ma’am

We’re laying low today. There are enough comings and goings from Big White as it is. We’re not officially making bribes deals for Healthcare votes anymore, but coincidents and accidents are still allowed.

We did have a small, unofficial, party last night to celebrate the passing of the Jobs Bill, or as we refer to it around here, the Unemployment Bill.

bo fried chixA chicken in every pot 

And there’s still plenty of idle speculation as to why Big Guy is seemingly willing to sacrifice his fellow Democrats re-elections to get his health bill passed. Among the leading theories:

  • Big Guy is a (fill-in-the-blank): Marxist/Socialist/ideologue
  • Big Guy’s smoking habit has him concerned about his own future health care
  • George Soros is calling in his chits. To complete the victory that he paid for fair and square, he needs the US to go totally bankrupt so he can continue his very profitable business in currency speculation.

But it’s really much simpler:

 because i saidso

“Because I said so.”

Yes, Ma’am.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Because I Said So

As Big Guy continues plans to ram his health care plans through, it’s becoming more apparent why we’re so concerned with keeping our kids healthy. So yesterday found us on the road again as Lady M continues her No Fat Child’s Behind campaign. This time in Mississippi.

miss3Stripes, with pretty healthy looking kids and their teacher

At the Brinkly middle school, we went with the horizontal striped awning jacket added to the basic black slacks that we wore with a warmer jacket earlier in the day at Pecan Park school.

ms3  Do they have ski hills in Mississippi?

610xMo with Governor Haley Barbour, the epitome of sveltness



We wore our signature BB to emphasize our own behind sveltness.miss2

While MO was working on fat behinds in MS,  Big Guy was back at the Big White kicking the real thing. You can tell, because he wore his lavender A** Kicking Tie (you know, the one he wears every time he has to yell at greedy capitalists). It works so well he wears it now whenever he has to speak harshly to some of the little people.

bg lavender Big Guy with the Big White Lab Coats at the Big White (they work in the pastry department)

This time I think he was chewing out his fellow Americans. At least the ones (86%) who don’t agree with him about his healthcare bill. As I heard it, it sounded pretty much like “The debate is over. We have to pass this bill because I said so. And we’re going to do it no matter what it takes.” Or, as someone else once said, by any means necessary.


But I could have heard that wrong. I was in Mississippi.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Read My Lips: You’re All Fat Now

A quick catch-up on our week: Monday Lady M went to give a little pep talk to the nation’s school lunch directors. In a demonstration of solidarity with MO’s No Fat Child’s Behind program, they were in constant motion. It was nearly a record: 25 minute speech and 24 minutes of applause - much of it standing O’s. The room looked like it was filled with Jack-in-the-boxes. (Which are, of course, banned from school lunch programs.)

I’m not sure why they treated her like a rock star; all she did was tell them that she knew how hard their jobs were, especially with the paltry amount of money they were given to do it with. So she’s going to fix all that by making sure they all get a lot more money.Somebody was heard off stage shouting “who pays!?, but they finally dragged Senator Bunning back to the Capital.

Lady M wore her Pepto Pink orgami gown, accented with a vintage brooch for the occasion.


Then yesterday, it was off to the Library of Congress to celebrate Dr. Seuss’s birthday: he would have been 106!. Almost as old as Nancy Pelosi.

2010-03-02-michelleobamaargyle  Argyle, boob belt, pearls: what could go wrong?

It was a kickoff of the National Education Association’s Read Across America campaign.


Trust me; Lady M knows better than ANYONE how important reading is.

framed world readership-CENTAU copy_thumb[2][5]

Monday, March 1, 2010

Since When Are Knee Pads in the Big White Considered Too Dressy?

Did you know that ABC still has a Sunday talk show? I didn’t either. I thought they shuttered it when George Stephanopoulos left for GMA, which I think is a subsidiary of General Motors. But apparently Elizabeth Vargas still hosts a show with Sam Donaldson, (you remember him - from the Nixon administration?) Cokie Roberts, Paul Krugman and their token right wingnut, George Will.

They spent the largest part of last Sunday’s show talking about our little Desiree. And Cokie would know a thing or two about her, since they are both New Orleans debutantes, just from different Krewes (and generations). Although I can tell you that Cokie and Desi are great friends, so you might get to see her as a special guest on the Sunday show in the future.  That’s how George got his start too. So there’s something to look forward to.

Anyway, my point: Elizabeth was talking to everyone – well, mostly Sam and Cokie - about Desi’s sudden and unexpected departure from the Big White:

"[O]f course, this weekend, we have a brand-new White House social secretary appointed to replace Desiree Rogers, a close friend of the Obamas who is exiting after a bumpy tenure, I would say. Cokie, you spoke with her. She -- she was highly criticized after the Obamas' first state dinner in which she arrived, looking absolutely gorgeous, but in what some people later said was far too fancy a dress…

Now, I don’t often comment on the talking heads who get paid for doing what we all do for free, but come ON! Too fancy for an official state dinner? Apparently these people have never been to an official state dinner at the Big White. There is no such thing as too fancy.

desiree-rogers-wears-commes-ddesi runway es-garcons-fall-2009-to-white-house-state-dinner

Perhaps if Desi had worn the full headscarf as shown on the runway model’s version of the Comme Des Garcons gown it would have been too much. But as you can see, she did not. And just because it’s adorned with pearls, how could anyone claim that this deconstructed rendition of Granny Clampett’s party frock, with an ironic nod to her work-a-day apron and knee pads, was too dressy?

granny c



The Clampett’s of Beverly Hills

Class: you’ve either got it or you don’t.

Knee Deep In The Hoopla*

Normally I try to avoid this type of photo because there are a few things that I have trouble adjusting for properly due to a few tiny software bugs. Thigh high boots on Lady M is one of those things. But due to multiple requests from my faithful readers I’m putting these pictures up, against my better judgment.

These are shots from an earlier Big White event in January (that I think I handled quite responsibly), and the photos have been kept safely under wraps until Newsbird, that little bird dog, tracked them down.

So here. Don’t say I didn’t try to protect you.

mobootskittenheels mothighhiboots

I actually don’t remember now if these are the Jimmie’s or the special order Clergeries.


Not that it really matters, thigh-highs are thigh-highs no matter whose name you slap on them. eewww!

And before you all go postal on me, remember; this was all Breeze’s idea

* Just a coincidence, but wasn’t “Sarah” on that album too?

We’re Keepin’ Our Kools

Big Guy is still smoking?

bo pack Smokin’ In the Boy’s Room

Well, that explains why little Bo smells so bad.

bo-dog-with-obama-041309-xlgBO and Bo going out for a smoke. 

And his cholesterol is still over 200? I thought the organic veggies were supposed to take care of that.

Bo Obama%20cheeseburgerLate night snack 


bo cheese

BO’s Big Bite







I don’t know, I think if I was Big Guy, I’d Get Movin’ pretty soon.

mean mo2 Put. The. Cheeseburger. Down. Now!


I don’t know where this is going. Obviously Big Guy has an oral fixation. If he quits burgers, ice cream AND cigarettes, where does that leave us?

O birdieHow many fingers do you see? Wrong, peon.

We’re hoping that Big Guy’s proposal to make medical marijuana available at all Quickie-Marts will break the deadlock in his health care plan, and avoid the nuclear option.

Complete disclosure: Raj is no longer affiliated with any D.C. area Quickie-Marts.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Lincoln Bedroom: “Buy It Now” Priced On Ebay

Well, it looks like the Lincoln bedroom is going back into the nightly pool.

lincoln-bedroomI know Lady M said we weren’t going to rent it out any more, but we’re all grownups here, and harsh economic times (thanks, George W. Bush) call for harsh measures.

So: Desiree is out and Julianna is in. We all adored Desiree, but here’s the deal - the Republicans aren’t going to let us mop the floor with them next time around. We have a tough election coming up and we need someone planning our parties who knows more than how to hype a designer. We need someone who can run the “people’s house” like a 24/7 cash register, like –can I say this? –like the Clinton’s did. We need the right kind of people coming through the turnstyle. Let’s face it, Big Guy has ticked off just about everyone with real money except George Soros, and he’s already told  us he’s moving on to buy the European elections and he can’t afford another round here. So we have to re-capitalize ourselves and that’s where Julianna comes in. With her fundraising background she’ll know how to effectively Ebay the Lincoln bedroom. And Desiree, well, with all due respect, she couldn’t even balance her checkbook.

But Julia: she’s all about the money –  who to get it from and how to get the maximum from them. So, no flashy social butterfly secretary from now on. And there is an added bonus: not only will Julia raise a ton of money for us to buy  spend on the next election by inviting only the right (filthy rich liberals) kind of people to the Big White parties, but she will definitely not step on Lady M’s sartorial tails in the process. She went to Smith for goodness sake. They still think pearls and a little black dress is appropriate for just about anything.

juliannasmoot2_000Julianna Smoot, fundraiser extraordinaire

I mean, look at her, she looks like she could work in the Office of the Inspector General.

I know it’s surprising that she’s neither an African American nor a Chicago crony. But when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

You go girl! Or what ever you white girls say.