Saturday, March 29, 2014

Gingerbread: Better than Belgian “chocolate” or a “lace doily”…no?

Big Guy is finally home from his grueling international tour. He’s planning to leave all the problems in the world behind this weekend (i.e. don’t call him, Pooty) by unwinding with a marathon session of Sweet Sixteen playoffs.

What a nightmare last week’s trip was: First they dissed BHO in the Netherlands by not even applauding his best rhetorical efforts off-prompter. Then there was Belgium – oy! Does nobody in that country even understand the meaning of political correctness? I mean good grief, a life-sized gingerbread Barack Obama cookie presented as an official gift from the Kingdom of Belgium to the first black President of the United States of America?

barry cookie copy

Good grief:

“Nobody cares that Ronny Demedts is a famous cookie artist in Belgium, or that they've been talking this up on Belgian radio for weeks. Nobody cares that this is a special kind of gingerbread called speculaas, which has even more spices and is often shaped into really fancy animal crackers. They'll probably just harp on the fact that it sounds like an OBGYN device. Let's be honest, the problem is that it sucks. A lot of people will also try to say that it's racist, but more on that later. Did you know that Ronny Demedts made a mold of the President in order to bake the cookie? Well, it's true, despite the fact that literally nothing about how it turned out makes it look that way.”


gingerbreadHow many racist stereotypes can you find in this one Belgium cookie?

What were they thinking: that their world famous Belgian chocolate would be considered racist? Trust me, chocolates would have been a better choice, as long as they weren’t made in BO’s image and likeness.


The fact that the original gingerbread men, known as speculaas in Holland/Belgium, was none other than kindly old St. Nicholas didn’t even seem to cushion the blow.


Because even though the kindly Sinter Nicholas (predecessor of our own beloved Santa Claus)

st nick

brought cheer and Christmas gifts to all the good little boys and girls, he did so on the back of little Zwarte Piet:

Sinterklaas and black Piet

And frankly, many people think it’s time to end that tradition as well.

free piet

Boy, Barry can’t cut a break lately; talk about inadvertently stepping into the middle of another country’s heated controversy.


To borrow a phrase from the more multi-culti advanced Scandinavian culture: uff da!

All I can say about this controversy is I’m certain the Belgians, as is their want, did not intend to offend. I believe they thought they were just presenting a Belgian cultural icon to the American cultural icon. After all, Big Guy has been called American’s first black Santa Claus.


And perhaps if we all remember the original story of the gingerbread man, the gift will seem more political than racist. After all the gingerbread man was made by the white couple who lived on the farm. Anyway, if you think about the recurring verse:

“Run, run as fast as you can. You can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man ."

the last 5 years will begin to make more sense.


Of course, things didn’t end well for the gingerbread man, so I presume there’s a moral in there somewhere, butt I don’t think it has anything to do with racism.



gingerbread_man_bite_me_card-r3afde8b57ecf4825b7bbad9c0db21454_xvuat_8byvr_512Subliminal message from the Belgians?

Oh well, at least they didn’t give him a doily.




As I am a bit of an expert on gingerbread speculaas of the Dutch variety, I thought I would share a few additional observations on the cookie. Did you know that the very word, speculaas, comes from the Latin word speculum, which means…mirror?! Coincidence? I think not.

The spicy cookies are traditionally made by pressing the dough into a mold, hence producing a mirror image.

Speculaas molds_thumb[1]

You can make them in German springerle molds, and they will look and taste quite wonderful,


butt technically they will be neither “windmill” nor “St. Nicholas” cookies. Butt a fine cookie nevertheless.

If you grew up Dutch (I did) there were always windmill cookies in the house and fresh coffee for dunking them in, which even the wee ones did. Way back then, if you lived in Dutch country (I did) you could pick up excellent windmills at any local bakery or grocery store. Today, with one exception, the commercial variety are not worth bringing home (Archway and Voortmans used to be good butt somewhere along the line were bought up by “Big Cookie” and now are butt a mere shadow of themselves). The one remaining cookie worthy of the name is made by a bakery in Hudsonville, Michigan: Steenstra’s Almond St. Claus Cookies. So good, they come complete with their own legend, and 5 different shapes. Alas, the formerly 16 ounce box is now a mere 9 ounces, which is probably okay because most people can eat the entire box in one setting.

steens 2_thumb[1]

Oh, how I wish I had one now, to dunk into my afternoon coffee!

Screenshot Studio capture #1852While the Windmill is traditional, I think the rooster would be more appropriate around here 



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Friday, March 28, 2014

The Sons of AnarchYee

Have you heard about Leland Yee?

yee-788x563“Ridin’ Through This World”

A longtime California politician who was praised for his efforts to make government more transparent and authored gun control legislation was arrested Wednesday, accused of conspiracy to deal firearms and wire fraud.

That, in a nutshell, defines progressive hypocrisy, doesn’t it? There’s more:

State Sen. Leland Yee, a prominent figure in California's Democratic legislative majority, was arrested in a federal corruption investigation Wednesday along with an ostentatious gangster known as "Shrimp Boy" — who insisted that he had gone straight — and two dozen of their alleged associates.

An affidavit filed in federal court in San Francisco by FBI Special Agent Emmanuel V. Pascua said there was probable cause to believe that Yee had conducted wire fraud and had engaged in a conspiracy to deal firearms without a license and illegally import firearms.

It sounds like Le Yee’s running his own “motorcycle club” in San Francisco. As I trust most of MOTUS’ readers are not regular viewers of Sons of Anarchy, allow me to brief you on the FX TV series concept:


Sons of Anarchy is an adrenalized drama with darkly comedic undertones that explores a notorious outlaw motorcycle club's (MC) desire to protect its livelihood while ensuring that their simple, sheltered town of Charming, California remains exactly that, charming. The Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club, Redwood Original (SAMCRO) must confront threats from drug dealers, corporate developers, and overzealous law officers. Behind the MC's familial lifestyle and legally thriving automotive shop is a ruthless and illegal arms business driven by the seduction of money, power, and blood.

While some see “darkly comedic undertones” in the Yee FBI sting, and you could certainly say that the plot was driven by Senator Lee’s “desire to protect his livelihood,” the more relevant motifs are “illegal arms business,” “corporate developers” and “overzealous law officers.” We don’t get into “illegal drugs” until the next season of Sons of AnarchYee.

sons of anarchYEE copy

Also named in the affidavit is Raymond Chow. Chow, who is also known as "Shrimp Boy" was the former leader of a Chinese criminal organization with ties to Hong Kong.

Chow had allegedly cleaned up his act and was following the straight and narrow, even serving as the “dragon head” of Ghee Kung Tong, a Freemason organization according to his Face Book page.

Screenshot Studio capture #1845 Shrimp Boy, as a “former” Chinatown organizied crime member was involved in prostitution rings, drugs and extortion.

Chow is accused of money laundering, conspiracy to receive and transport stolen property and conspiracy to traffic contraband cigarettes.

He and Yee [hee hee!] were arrested earlier in the day during a series of raids by the FBI in Sacramento and the San Francisco Bay Area.The indictment also states that Shrimp Boy “has a position of "supreme authority" in the Triad, an international organized crime group.”

Hmmm…it sounds just like SAMCRO, except Chinese instead of Irish! How clever. Still, I think we can add copyright infringement to the charges.

For his efforts to uphold the California Public Records Act, Yee was honored last week by the Northern California chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, which awarded him its public official citation for his efforts last year to maintain the requirements of the California Public Records Act.

They might have “pulled the trigger” a bit too soon on that award. Additionally, Yee had also proposed several gun control bills, including a ban on “bullet buttons” that allow swift reloads of “military-style assault weapons.” Like the “military-style assault weapons” he was planning to smuggle into the state:

Yee ak47 copy

And don’t think for a minute that the delicious irony was lost on the humorless progressives in the state:

"If it wasn't so sad it would be comical. But what we're really worried about is that this will further destroy the momentum for gun control here in California."

I would like to go on record as stating that it won’t be long before it is revealed that Yee was actually working for the evil Koch brothers.

Seriously, it might be time for the Democrats to start vetting their advocates a little better. How many of these embarrassing incidents of people promoting causes they clearly don’t personally believe in can they endure?

From gun control:


to healthy eating:

cookie monster

to income equality:

hawaii vineyard aspen

I mean, at a certain point it becomes painfully obvious, doesn’t it? Butt for


they have no standards at all?

Still, it’s a shame that Leland Yee had to withdraw from his run for Secretary of State - California's top elections official (!) just because he was planning to illegally “import” some military rifles and shoulder mounted rocket launchers from Russia and an Islamic terrorist organization in the Philippines. Did I mention that one of his “partners” was the former San Francisco School Board President? Anyway, until this little snafu, it appeared that Yee was a shoo-in.

Really folks, this is just a trumped up Fox news story, trying to make a big deal out of a little prostitution, a little extortion, a few guns, probably some drugs, yada, yada yada. I don’t know about you, butt I smell a great “redemption” story and a book deal in Leland Yee’s future. There’s clearly nothing to see here, so just move along and wait for the movie.

lord of war

Just another dog-catcher-on-the-take-aspiring-to-be-in-charge-of-counting-the-votes-in-the-nation’s-most-populous-state story.

 Yee SAMCRO copyLeland Yee in Chuns Guns Sons of AnarchYee

What in the Sam Cro were you thinking?


MOTUS’ calls to Lee Headquarters in Charming, CA have not been returned.

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Thursday, March 27, 2014

“Sede Vacante”

Michelle Obama Michelle Obama Travels China cOEPR3ZLAU8l

Official debrief following the return of Lady M’s China entourage:

“It turned out to be a somewhat more substantive swing through this massive country than expected, displaying Obama’s deft ability to mix diplomacy with her personal narrative. Before flying home late Wednesday afternoon, she had raised the issues of minority rights, Internet access and religious freedom, all while charming the Chinese public by skipping rope, practicing tai chi with high school students and declaring herself awed by the nation’s ancient tourist sites.”

In other words: an awesome piece of soft diplomacy success, according to the Washington Post, as well as the White House (who have been known to collude cooperate reach the same conclusion in the past – an OT must read).

“I would argue that her approach was more effective” than lecturing, a senior White House official said, speaking on background to explain the thinking behind Obama’s tact. “There wasn’t any one thing to censor.”

I wonder if we’ve learn anything from that senior White House official’s observation? Like lecturing doesn’t work?

2014-03-26t045151z_1744118920_gm1ea3q0wxk01_rtrmadp_3_china-usa-obama“No more preaching about the right foods to eat, I’ll just feed you what you’re allowed to have.” Is poking Pandas with a stick part of our “soft diplomacy?”

Here’s how they do it on the Chengdu Panda Base:

Although it looks to me like there are still a few roly-poly Pandas there. They must have figured out how to sneak in a few forbidden snacks.


So while Lady M and the Wee Wons were winging their way home, Big Guy was visiting Vatican City. First he was greeted by the Pope’s Swiss Guard:

2014-03-27t092949z_1056748875_gm1ea3r1cgr01_rtrmadp_3_pope-obama“I have got to get me some of these!”

2014-03-27t095928z_1320180841_gm1ea3r1dwc01_rtrmadp_3_pope-obama“Oh yes, they look sweet with my fleet!”

swish-guards“I wonder how they’d look holding an umbrella?”

POPE-AUDIENCEApparently not so good, I don’t think this will work after all.

And finally His Holiness (Pope Francis I mean) greeted Barry:

bo.meets Pope FrancisjpgHis Holiness meets His Holiness: and presents him with a copy of his book, Evangeli Gaudium.

In return, Big Guy gave His Holiness some seeds from Lady M’s Organic Garden of Good and Evil (good symbolism, protocol people!) and an invitation to visit if he ever happens to be in town:

Obama invited the pope to visit the White House as he was giving Francis a symbolic gift of seeds of fruit and vegetables from the garden of the presidential residence.

"If you have a chance, you can come to the White House and you can see the garden," Obama said to the pope as he was explaining the gift to the pope.

An interesting side note: In the Catholic Church the ombrellino (the "little umbrella") is a symbol that replaces the papal tiara over the crossed keys of the Vatican's “emblem” during the interregnum between the death - or in the case of Pope Benedict XVI, the resignation of  - the Pope and the emergence of his successor. It symbolizes the ‘sede vacante’ – “empty seat” of the Papacy.

papal symbol

Sede Vacante

“Sede Vacante?” Hey – I think we’ve got one of those seals too!

Chair_Seal_COTUS_250h/t PeoplesCube


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Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Games World Leaders Play:Thermonuclear War. The Goal is - WTF!

Well, this is embarrassing.

No, not this:

Screenshot Studio capture #1843

And not even this:

Reid Cherlin describes Michelle Obama's office as a "miserable place to work," where every meeting was an identity crisis and the wrong dress was just as bad as a failed policy initiative.

Although that certainly IS embarrassing, and we’ll we’ll get back to it at a later date.

No, I’m talking about BO’s insistence on playing computer war games at this year’s assembly of world leaders at the 2014 Nuclear Summit. In order to test their hand-eye coordination, or something.

“US officials said that the unconventional approach had been designed to give a "scare you to death" shock to make leaders seriously think about the security of nuclear materials.”

Suffice it to say that many people, including a lot of ordinary American citizens, were “scared to death” by this inanity. How bad was it? Think of the most juvenile game you’ve ever had to play at the worst corporate seminar ever. Now multiply that by whatever number bonds you need to get 100, and you’re half way to imagining how truly awful Big Guy’s Nuclear War Game exercise was.

nuclear war games

Actually, the game playing was more embarrassing than awful. “Awful” is the word I’d reserve for the Q&A session, in which BO, after 10 days of wandering in the wilderness in search of an answer, finally concluded that Romney was wrong, Russia is just a” regional power” annexing neighboring land from a position of weakness. That was so awful that nobody even bothered to applaud at his conclusion:

Unlike in the U.S., European journalists are not BHO advocates, so don't feel compelled to applaud his remarks. 

I think it only fair to give Romney the last word on this:

mitt points not at bo“If I may, Candy, I’d like to point out that Germany was just a “regional power” prior to the holocaust too.”

I’m afraid that playing war simulation games while you’re supposed to be working is just Not Cool, no matter how much charm you’ve got in the charisma bank.

Plus, I’m going to come right out and say it: it came across as a little bit preachy-teachy. In fact, there were times where Big Guy showed arrogance and was dismissive, even derisive of Angela Merkel’s objections to playing his silly game.


And even though the game was created by Barry’s tech-savvy hipster staff, who let him practice it many times, Big Guy made everyone else play unassisted while he - because he has the world’s toughest job - brought an assistant along to help him interpret the questions and hit the right buttons. 

Mr. Obama, the only leader who played the game accompanied by a senior official, is understood to have been pushed for the demonstration to take place. In the war game, played out by actors in a series of short films, terrorists attack an unnamed Western metropolis with a “dirty bomb.”

The rest were on their own: They had to give an answer on their own, in real time. It was like a test. It put them on the spot. Should they inform the public or keep them in the dark?”

And apparently Angela had company in not wishing to be “tested” by Big Guy’s newest Gameboy download:

"Leaders had their doubts about participation on their own without their expert civil servants. It was about discussion and problem solving without leaders relying on written statements to read out. At the end the leaders were more enthusiastic," the Telegraph quoted a spokesman for the summit as saying.” 

I hate to say it, butt this sophomoric thermonuclear war game tends to give credence to Greg Gutfeld’s allegation that the White House has devolved into “a daycare center for overgrown grad students who believe group hugs make for sound foreign policy.” I’m sure most of them are working on their screenplays now, for when their current gig is up. I’ve seen them studying the dialogue From War Games:

David Lightman: [typing] Later. Let's play Global Thermonuclear War.

Joshua: Fine. (snip)

David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?

Joshua: You should know, Professor. You programmed me.

David Lightman: Oh, come on.

David Lightman: [typing] What is the primary goal?

Joshua: To win the game.

Seriously? That’s it? WTF?

angela consults with Obama re. nuclear warAngela consults with the leader of the free world regarding how to deal with Nuclear Iran.

Don’t hold your breath Angie, Clint’s still waiting to hear back on questions he asked in August of 2012.

eastwood empty chair

As is Mitt:

Mitt-Romney-Barack-Obama“Okay genius, who do YOU think is our greatest geo-political threat?”

I don’t know about you guys, butt I would have felt a lot safer if this guy was carrying the nuclear suitcase around.

romney pack  your bags

On the positive side, you may be pleased to know that Big Guy just reached the highest level on Candy Crush and has earned 9 free lives. So he’s tied with the cat.

7.wh obamacare cat gifYeah, he’s back. Life extended till mid-April

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

WTF? LOL Cats Deployed to Help Us #GetCovered.

We’ve put on a full court press: a White House generated ad campaign to get the young invincibles – who we need more than they need us - to sign up for Obamacare before the March 31 deadline. So we tried everything: PJ Boy, a dunking FLOTUS, Mom dancers, twerking accidents, Muppet accidents…the list goes on and on – butt stops with…cat GIFs? Cat GIFs, for crying outloud?

7.wh obamacare cat gif[5]

Great, just what we need around here: cat house and pussy jokes to go along with the bathhouse innuendos.

Butt with the deadline fast approaching, I’d like to be the first to go on record stating that we will post the numbers we need even if it means bringing in the entire Chicago voting rights team to get them to sign up. Six times if necessary.

Having said that, I would also like to state for the record that - in the unlikely event we miss our target for Obamacare enrollments - it’s not OUR fault. That miscalculation will be attributed to the smelly cat gifs and the whole ad-campaign that the the really cool, hip young dudes who won’t listen to anyone over 30 insisted on using in our taxpayer funded Obamacare promos.

No blame will be directed towards the man who wrote the song about the smelly cats, copyrighted  it, digitized it, and sent people out to sing about them.

What ARE they feeding you?

What ever made us think that these low I.Q. neophytes could sell Obamacare?

iq test

It remains to be seen if the Big Brained branding geniuses are any better at advertising than they are at accounting and tax filing for small businesses. I’m guessing, no.

wtfOne of our BBBG (big brained branding geniuses) first efforts

So here’s the bottom line; if you like your smelly cat, you can keep your smelly cat. In fact, even if you don’t like him, because he turned out to be really, really smelly, he’s all yours now. He owns you.

Is it any wonder Elmo committed suicide?

elmo commits suicide gif

Please feel free to post any news/thoughts/observations on either of the Royal entourages overseas. I think I’m going skiing.


Barack Obama Nuclear Security Summit 2014 3hnnW1W-NBRlLive! From the Hague! It’s show time, folks! I’ll be here all week.



Hey, this could be really dangerous. Maybe I should #GetCovered.

This PSA, like all the others, was brought to you by a generous donation from the  American taxpayers.

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Monday, March 24, 2014

The Obamas Abroad: Looking For the Secret Trap Doors

Big Guy landed Air Force Won at Schiphol airport this morning to begin his whirlwind trip to calm the nerves of a world that once relied on U.S. strength for all their defense needs:

President Barack Obama departed Sunday night for a six-day whirlwind tour through Europe and the Middle East that was supposed to be an ordinary trip to friendly countries to discuss nuclear security and trade while basking in the glow of the new Pope. Instead, as he visits the Hague, Brussels, Rome and Riyadh, Obama will be devoting his time to maintaining increasingly strained alliances with American allies across the globe, as global conflicts are placing the concerns of jittery partners on the front burner.

time-i-obama-amsterdam-140324Rembrandt, Obama, Prime Minister of the Netherlands, Mark Rutte

I wonder if Big Guy realizes that this famous painting of "The Night Watch," painted by Rembrandt van Rijn in 1642, is actually a group portrait of one of Amsterdam's local militias at the height of the Dutch Golden Age? There’s two things, right there, that BO doesn’t approve of: militias and Colonialists.

Never-the-less, we’re soldiering on, trying to make the world over in our own, transformed image and likeness through our strategic partners:

“If there’s a common theme to this trip, it’s the fundamental strength and importance of our alliances and partnerships,” National Security Adviser Susan Rice said Friday. “The strategic importance of this effort really can’t be overstated. From Europe to Asia to the Middle East, our ability to lead strong coalitions is essential to making progress.”

In fact, if only we had better partners, we wouldn’t have to deal with this mess at all; at least that’s what BHO told Ben Rhodes, the deputy national-security adviser for strategic communications:

Obama told me that what he needs isn’t any new grand strategy—“I don’t really even need George Kennan right now”—but, rather, the right strategic partners.

So, Europe, Middle East, China, Russia: listen up. We don’t need no stinkin’ strategies, we just need better partners.

Anyway, I’m having a hard enough time keeping track of Lady M’s itinerary so I can’t give you all the details on Big Guy’s butt here’s what I’m tracking so far: after un-friending Putin on Face Book and unfollowing him on Twitter, Big Guy’s convening the G-7 in the Hague to discuss the continuing Ukraine crisis. I believe the agenda includes drafting another harsh letter.

_B6477E2A-FD4E-4EC3-896E-DF2850ABD2CD_11092012_obama_pen_articleDo you see this pen? Don’t force me to use it.

Then onto the nuclear summit where BO will “touch Indians” with Chinese President Xi Jinping, just a few days after Lady M met with him in Beijing and it was revealed that the US National Security Agency spied on the leaders of China. So that should be fun.  Maybe they can talk about their wives.

BjfLCDZCIAAcleK Are we having fun yet?

So, while Lady M continues her spring “soft diplomacy” tour of China,

Screenshot Studio capture #1839Soft Diplomacy: Rope Jumping and Scarf Twirling Demonstrations

…BO will be fixing all the troubles in the world. To that end, he’s meeting with the Pope. Although not Catholic himself, he’s heard of Catholics. He’s hoping to get a good optic with Pope Francis that the Dems can use to promote their mutual plans to eliminate “income inequality” in the upcoming mid-terms. Afterwards, he intends to school the Pope on the importance of free contraception.

The final leg of Big Guy’s trip will be a visit to Riyadh where I understand they’re upset about BO’s decision to suspend military aid to Cairo. He’ll meet with King Abdullah to discuss Syria, Israel, Palestine and Iran; it’s expected he’ll advise the King that he has to be a better “strategic partner.”  Pretty sure that’ll go well.

I wrap up today’s post with this related Little Known Fact: Rembrandt’s “Night Watch” is considered so important to the Dutch people that if you look at the floor directly below the painting you will see the faint outline of a trap door. It is an “escape slide” designed in 1934, to allow the painting to be swiftly moved out of danger in case of fire, or other threats – say another World War and/or nuclear holocaust.

And now you know why Lady M’s always been so fixated on finding those secret trap doors.

tobagganWoooo! I think she finally found one of those trap doors! Hey- why’s it going down hill?!

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