Saturday, February 8, 2020

Caturday, Whether You Need It Or Not

Today’s Caturday feature is getting a bird’s eye view of the world:

Don’t worry, it’s a photoshop. My question: is this supposed to be the adult version of the cat who thought he was an owl…

or is he serving as the  Democrat’s beacon, scanning the horizon for global warming, racism, sexism and other social injustices in order to sound the alarm? Or blow a dog whistle.

And speaking of dogs, we gave short shrift to Cursday this week so I’m rolling this in as well:

The Backyard Bark-o Lounger

Have a great weekend. A big pot of soup is about all I’ve got on the agenda so far. You?

Friday, February 7, 2020

FLOTUS Friday: Post-Acquittal

“President Donald Trump took a scorched-earth victory lap Thursday, unleashing his fury against those who tried to remove him from office…” and so on and so on and so forth.

I had to go through 3 pages of Google before finding a single article that didn’t portray our President’s justified anger over a spiteful politically motivated witch hunt as a ‘lunatic rant.’

Image result for trump post acquittal victory lap

This was one of my favorites:

(President Trump’s) remarks stood in stark contrast to the apology offered by President Bill Clinton when he faced the American people in the aftermath of his own impeachment acquittal

“I want to say again to the American people how profoundly sorry I am for what I said and did to trigger these events and the great burden they have imposed on the Congress and on the American people." WSOC

Of course PDJT didn’t invite an intern to give him BJs in the Oval Office, suborn perjury, obstruct justice and perjure himself by lying about everything - that was all Clinton. And when nailed dead to rights by a blue dress he finally admitted it. So not really the same, as Clinton was guilty as charged. Trump was guilty only of beating the Democrats’ standard bearer – an old hag with serious personality issues. But that was reason enough for them to impose a “great burden on the Congress and on the American people” by launching a 3 year witch hunt. And they can’t figure out why the victim of their devious dishonesty doesn’t apologize to them? Morons.

But since it’s FLOTUS Friday let me drop a couple of snaps from the past week:

Dotty: Melania Trump went for a ladylike vibe on Thursday as she joined her husband in the White House's East Room for a celebratory address following his impeachment acquittalEast Room, White House yesterday

Dressed to impress: On Tuesday, Melania turned up to the State of the Union address wearing all black  SOTU

Image result for melania trumpWith Katheryn and Rush Limbaugh at the SOTU

Given the stress, pressure, ill-will and general unpleasantness the media has heaped on not just her husband but her as well over the past 3 years you would expect to see it show just a little on her face. I don’t know where or how she finds such inner serenity but she should bottle it. I know a few people who could benefit from it.

Image result for melania trump

“I just don’t understand it, the politics of personal destruction have always worked in the past.”

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Throwback Thursday: Timeless Advice

The following is a Public Service Announcement for Democrats:

But not soooo far left that you go off the road and into the weeds. If the trajectory is wrong you’ll be unsafe at any speed.

“All the Democrats had to do was look normal, and they couldn't even do that.”Megan Fox

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

The Best Is Yet To Come

Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14

I ask you, who is the deranged person here?

Candidate #1: the Speaker of the House,

Image result for pelosi rips up sotu speech in chambers"

who chewed on sour grapes throughout the President’s SOTU only to spit the bitter seeds out at the end, thus demonstrating that she has embraced the role of petulant teenaged brat with no no sense of propriety and no ability to control her emotions. In other words, the perfect drama queen. Perhaps she would have served her side better had she simply sat this one out like a couple of her Homies and Squad mates did. Or at least continued to sit on her hands like the rest of her cabal.

It’s as if the only thing she wants the country to remember is her petty action of tearing up the President’s speech at the end - for obvious reasons.

Or is it Candidate #2: VSGPDJT?

The man who gave a rousing feel good address, extolling the many virtues of America and our place in the world. With it he definitively ended the disgraceful period in which our leaders felt it necessary to apologize for how powerful and strong and good this country is. Every line, every point, every example laid forth in the President’s speech was there to remind patriotic Americans that our country was founded on the Shining City on the Hill allegory. And to inspire us to keep it that way.

His message: happy days are here again America; it’s okay to be optimistic. While the Democrats continue to succor the fruit of the poisoned tree our President picks a plum and savors it; and he encourages us to do the same, because the best is yet to come.

Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it's a real good bet
The best is yet to come

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

MOTUS’ Twilight Nocturne Lounge - SOTU 2020 Edition

Okay, the thread’s getting long and the night is relatively young so I’m opening the Twilight Nocturne Lounge for SOTU comments.


Bar service from Little Mo…

 zoom-1Hi! I’m little Mo and I’ll be your server tonight. Except when I’m busy.

When he’s available.

motus TNL-bar

He’s busy burrowing into the Wuhan situation and it’s hot - beginning to look a LOT like military grade weaponized virus. The President wants a report on his desk in the morning so you may have to serve yourselves. He assures me the bar is well stocked with both adult and kid friendly beverages. And ice cream. So have at it.

And now, let’s here it for our Prez!

Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah

And That’s a Rap!

Meanwhile, in Iowa:

Image result for joseph stalin those who vote those who count the votes decide everything

…and apparently the “deciders” are still counting the caucus votes in Iowa so we won’t know who they’ve “decided” on just yet. But stay tuned! We know it will be someone completely capable of running the country.

Or we can have some fun and fill in the results ourselves – closest without going over wins!

Otherwise just hold tight and wait for President Trump’s State of the Union address tonight. Can’t wait to hear him rap wrap up the events of the past year.

Monday, February 3, 2020

Super Bowl Ads: Detritus From a Cultural Wasteland

If you watched the Super Bowl for the commercials you wasted 4 hours of your life. Unless you’re a Millennial as that’s who they were made for and - I’d speculate – by. Since advertising, like bond trading, is notorious for being a young man’s (generic usage, no complaints please) game I think it’s safe to assume that most of yesterday’s ads were conceptualized and written by members of the millennial demographic. And if they are our future, gird your loins for a tedious ride. The $5.6 million for a 30 second spots were mediocre at best and dreadful at worst.

We were presented with a panoply of post-modern themes: technology idolatry, pop culture idolatry, gender neutrality/bending, diversity and, of course, climate concern.

Thus we got Google’s maudlin portrayal of a man remembering his dead wife with all his Google assisted memories, the magic of technology assisted self-parking cars (Hyundai) and Ellen DeGeneres and her partner - the other wife in the couple - Portia de Rossi, imagining what life was like before Alexa. Oh, and Facebook showing us how they can bring us all together with their Groups feature. Brought to you by the people who invented “unfriending.” Facebook is more than instrumental in assisting people in tearing the thin fabric of civility apart via internet “conversations” than Donald Trump.

Image result for facebook unfriending memes"Facebook, bringing people together since 2004

Nearly every ad included either some pop culture reference and/or persona. From Boomers Sam Elliot (Doritos) and Martin Scorsese (Coke) to Gen Xers Naomi Rider (Sqarespace),

Jimmy Fallon (Michelob Ultra) and Molly Ringwald - for some reason hawking Avocados from Mexico on a surreal Shopping Channel.

Image result for super bowl commercials 2020 avocados"

The rest featured Millennials who I gratefully don’t know.

There was T-Mobile showcasing Anthony Anderson (?) and his mama demonstrating how well their 5G network works – even when mama goes clubbing!

Rocket Mortgage revealing that superhero Jason Moama(?) aka Aquaman is in reality more like Jethro Tull’s Aqualung.

Image result for super bowl commercials 2020 budweiser"


The Millennial half of the Doritos commercial was Lil Nas X  who challenged Sam Eliott to some sort of old west dance-off.

Probably would have been funnier if I had even a fleeting hint of who Lil Nas is or his song Old Town Road. Even though they threw in the old Cowboy for good measure I’m clearly not their target audience.

Then there was the save-the-planet-by buying-an-electric-car theme: Audi used some star from Game of Thrones singing music from Frozen to promote theirs, Toyota Highlander showcased Cobie Smulders (?) rescuing people in trouble from a variety of stereotypical movie disaster scenarios. My favorite though had to be GM’s gutsy push for reintroducing a nameplate I thought had been deep-sixed forever: Hummer. Because nothing says “saving the planet” like a  big-assed all-terrain vehicle turned electric.

Image result for super bowl commercials 2020 GM hummer"

In the “diversity” category Budweiser takes first prize, presenting themselves as  the “Stereotype Smasher.” How brave of them.

And back to the gender-bending: Sabra  entertains us with a couple of drag queens - Kim Chi and Miz Cracker-  hawking their hummus dip. Makes me go hmmmmm but sure doesn’t make me hungry.

Lord, what a mess. I give the prize to Michaelob’s Ultra Pure Gold commercial “6 for 6-pack” ad. By promising “to help” transform 6 feet of farmland into “organic” for every 6-pack they sell they’ve managed to cram more BS and double-talk about caring for the planet and giving back - without you actually having to do anything other than buy their product - than anyone else in a minute spot.

There were plenty of other un-smart ads as well, including Snickers fixing the world by dropping a giant snickers into a giant hole – it could have worked, but it didn’t, Mr. Peanut’s funeral, Walmart’s delivery program…groaners all.

I did sort of enjoy the Bill Murray Jeep ad but it wasn’t great either.

Image result for super bowl commercials 2020 rocket mortgage"

Miss by an inch, miss by a mile.

So here’s to you liberalism: you’ve managed to replace comedy with farce and slap-stick, satire with ridicule, irony with cynicism and creativity with sequels and spin-offs. I fear I’m not woke enough to appreciate your ongoing contributions to culture.

If you still want to waste your time you can watch most of the SB commercials here.

Sunday, February 2, 2020

Impeachment, Super Bowl, Brexit and Groundhog Day. Oh My!

What a shame: between the sham impeachment of our President and the frenzy of Super Bowl LVI – America’s biggest unofficial holiday – the huge liberation celebration across the pond nearly got lost in the shuffle.

Jubilant Brexiteers heralded the moment with celebrations across the country, including a flagship bash in London's Parliament Square (pictured) where Nigel Farage led a chorus of God Save The QueenCrowds celebrate Brexit’s official implementation in Parliament Square Friday night

From Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s address to the nation:

This is the moment when the dawn breaks and the curtain goes up on a new act in our great national drama.

And yes it is partly about using these new powers - this recaptured sovereignty - to deliver the changes people voted for, whether that is by controlling immigration or creating freeports or liberating our fishing industry or doing free trade deals or simply making our laws and rules for the benefit of the people of this country

We have obeyed the people. We have taken back the tools of self-government.

Now is the time to use those tools to unleash the full potential of this brilliant country and to make better the lives of everyone in every corner of our United Kingdom. 

The crowd in Parliament Square broke into a rousing  round of “God Save the Queen” which temporarily took her Majesty’s mind off her sad sack heirs. Perhaps this celebration gave the aging Queen a bit of hope for the future, as both the monarchy and the country have survived more than a few bad leaders in the past and lived to tell about it.

Image result for brexit celebration across britainI know, I know: a lot of white people. But who the hell do you think founded Britain? Established the Magna Carta Libertatum?

Sadly, there is an entire generation of Brits and Europeans who know nothing other than life dictated by a nameless, faceless, unaccountable bureaucracy squirreled away in Brussels, regulating every aspect of their existence from allowable carbon emissions and immigration requirements to cheese labeling.

Self determination will be unsettling to them at first but I trust that they will once again learn to embrace it. I do hope the spirit of the enlightenment catches on once again in Europe (and America).

Image result for italexit italy"

The world would benefit from a return to the concepts of the Enlightenment: Reason, Individualism and Skepticism rather than the mindless embracing of globalism and all that entails.

Meanwhile, in a tradition that throws all forms of enlightenment to the wind, I understand that Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow this morning and, as the legend goes, this means we're in for an early spring.


So we’ve got that going for us!

Have a great Super Bowl Sunday, whether you watch the game or just nosh your way through it. My personal prediction: watch for a Groundhog Day commercial featuring Bill Murray and his old friend Ned Ryerson pitching something of questionable value.