Saturday, May 11, 2013

Ted Cruz’n on “Raw Brain Power”

Hey, did you see what Senator Cruz tweeted out last week ahead of Big Guy’s “all-hat-no-cattle” trip to Texas? Here it is:


That seems a little dismissive on Ted’s part doesn’t it? Even a little derisive? If I were Senator Cruz, I’d make sure all my tax records were in order: 

IRS agents singled out dozens of organizations for additional reviews because they included the words "tea party" or "patriot" in their exemption applications…in some cases, groups were asked for lists of donors, which violates IRS policy…

Yikes! That last part – about the list of donors - is a little disconcerting. Now the IRS has their list for next year’s apology too.

“Tea Party darling” - as Harry Reid, the very senior Senator from Nevada, likes to refer to Ted Cruz - has already managed to get under a lot of skins in his very short tenure in the Senate. So I imagine this assessment of Ted Cruz as a brilliant Harvard Law student by one-of-their-own, Professor Alan Dershowitz, will serve to rankle them even further:

“Without a doubt he is among the smartest students I’ve ever had… I’ve had great students but he has to be at the top of anyone’s short list, in terms of raw brain power.”

That sort of thing could be dangerous when it falls in the wrong hands; “raw brain power” I mean. And when you run into a smart buzz saw like that, the best way to handle it is by questioning his heritage, like Bill Richardson did,

Cruz-Richardson56-e1367874609508-300x128Not “Hispanic” enough, Bill? Isn’t that like one White-Hispanic calling another White-Hispanic “blanco?”

or childish name calling, like Harry Reid resorted to:

“My friend from Texas, like the schoolyard bully, he pushes everybody around and is losing,” Reid said. “And instead of playing the game according to the rules, he not only takes the ball home with him but changes the rules.

He learned that trick from Big Guy; not the part about taking his ball and going home, the part about accusing your opponent of doing precisely what you’ve done yourself, i.e. bullying.  


None of them are used to the R-words fighting back though, so this could be fun:


Butt getting back to Professor Dershowitz; I’m not as interested in who he found to be the smartest Harvard Law student “in Terms of Raw Brain Power” as I am in knowing which Won he thinks is at the bottom of that list.  Anyone brave enough to make a little wager?


Gosh! They look as young today as they did at Harvard! And look how some things never change; Lady M’s still got that little eye:

mo little eye_thumb[5]_thumb

and Big Guy’s still got that natural male model swagger.

                barack-obama-attended-harvard-law-school-in-1988-and-was-selected-as-an-editor-of-the-harvard-law-review-at-the-end-of-his-first-yearbo hands on hips

The noses, on the other hand, seem to have been re-groomed a bit. Or maybe the slimming illusion has been achieved by having them stuck up in the air so often.

Anyway, getting back to our wager as to which Won is on the bottom of the “raw brains” list; here’s MO, jokingly claiming that it’s her. And Big Guy, as he’s wont to do, letting her fall on the sword for him.

Screenshot Studio capture #1075“Do I look like I belong on the bottom of the stack?” “Yes, next question.”

Prof Dersh didn’t respond to my tweets, so I’ll have to find out the Chicago way...with a poll! Who do you think is at the bottom of Professor Dershowitz’ list of students’ “raw brain power?” As always, Chicago Rules are in effect. Vote early, vote often.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and iOwnTheWorld, and MuseumTwenty and kcrouch on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, May 10, 2013

A Speeding Bullet: Faster Than 911


Another one to plunk into “the irony that is Obama” file. The administration that has given us new standards for Nanny Statism with respect to providing unemployment “safety nets,” food stamp assistance, “disability” payments and condoms


has inexplicably adopted a position of complete independence when it comes to other forms of “self protection.” It looks like we’re pretty much on our own now.

Whether you’re a U.S. Ambassador to Libya, or one of his attachés, under siege in a foreign consulate:

PANETTA: “Without adequate warning, there was not enough time given the speed of the attack for armed military assets to respond.”

PANETTA: “(The) basic principle is that you don’t deploy forces into harm’s way without knowing what’s going on; without having some real-time information about what’s taking place.”

panetta and the empty chair

Or a private citizen in Denver concerned about protecting yourself from an armed intruder, the sobering news is you’re pretty much on your own, as U.S. Rep. Diana DeGette (D-Colo.) so delicately explained last month to her constituent concerned about the proposed limits on high capacity magazines:

DEGETTE:You’d probably be dead anyway.

colorado dem degette

And all that Elijah Cummings, Ranking Member, House Oversight Committee, can offer is a lame philosophical cliché:

CUMMINGS:  “…death is a part of life


So it was only a matter of time before this attitude filtered down from K Street to Main Street. Now police departments across the country have adopted the new Washington “you’re on your own” attitude when faced with the dilemma of dispatching increasingly scarce resources to problem areas:

CITIZEN: Hello!? Somebody just kicked down my door, they’re in the house; they’ve got guns!

911 OPERATOR: I’m sorry, given the speed of the attack we won’t be able to get there in time.

CITIZEN: What are you talking about!!  Someone’s broken into my house! I need help!

911 OPERATOR: I’m sorry ma'am, we’re not allowed to deploy forces into harm’s way without knowing exactly what’s going on in real time.

CITIZEN: I’m telling you what’s going on in real time you moron! There are home invaders here - with guns! They’re going to kill me and my children!

911 OPERATOR: I’m very sorry ma'am. But our stats indicate we won’t be able to get there in time to help. Death is a part of life. Do you have any messages you’d like me to pass on to your survivors?


glock and loadGlock and load: Don’t be alone when you’re left on your own

So you might just want to remember this new policy, coming soon to a police department near you, the next time Congress takes up another new “Gun Violence Control” bill.

faster than 911 WM

Linked By: IMAO, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Zilla Stevenson and kcrouch on twitter, and Alicia Lutz-Rolow on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Benghazi Hearings Non-Event: The “How To” Tutorial

They don’t call Big Guy the luckiest man in the world for nothing.

obama inaugural invitation 2013 001

Can you believe it? Not only did the the Cleveland House of Horrors story break the day before the whistleblowers testimony, butt then the Jodi Arias verdict come down yesterday afternoon too. Don’t ask me who she is or why anyone should care, butt apparently LIV’s (Low Information Voters) have been following her soap opera for months on end and find it far more riveting than the Benghazigate story.

If you were paying attention to the hearings, you would have learned quite a bit by yesterday’s testimonies. Fortunately for Big Guy the MSM lapdogs don’t pay attention and the LIV’s don’t do learning or watch Fox News; so I think both BO and Hill are safe.

Butt just in case, we’ve put together a tutorial which provides guidelines for everyone to follow when responding to any awkward questions that may arise in relation to Benghazigate. 

Here are the official, pre-approved reasons to write off/ignore the Benghazi 3:


1. Are you kidding me – three white guys?!

2. They’re racists; clearly unable to deal with a Black man being in the Big White.(h/t Chrissy Matthews)

3. Whistleblowers? More like dog-whistle blowers. (ditto h/t above)

4. They’re just disgruntled employees; you know, demoted/passed over for promotion or just general malcontents.

And we’ve prepared some standard answers that our supportive news networks can use, as well as any member of the Administration who might get cornered. Actually these are pretty much all purpose responses that will work for just about any uncomfortable inquiry:

1. “What difference, at this point, does it make?

2. “That happened a long time ago.”

3. “The outcome was sub-optimal.”

4. “There will be bumps in the road.”

5. "I'm not familiar with this notion that anybody has been blocked from testifying."

6.  "So what I'll do is I will find out what exactly you are referring to."

And here, helpful suggestions for our lapdogs the major networks on how best to advocate our position(s):

1. Cover as little of the actual testimony as possible; instead cover the Democratic members “questions.”

2. If unavoidable, break to a sensational sex crime story ASAP

3. Follow up with a story that will assist our gun control agenda: any crime involving a gun. Be sure to say “high capacity magazine.”

4. Next, find a feel-good story about an undocumented worker living in the shadows.

5. And finally, Oh look - there’s a squirrel!

attack squirrel

Linked By: BadBlue, and AnnieLaurie on twitter, and Mireille Buser and Gene Vallee and Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

“Submit to my will. Resistance is futile.”

Have you heard about the newest Big White gimmick information-sharing tool? (h/t Gerard). In the “Social Media ‘R Us” world of presidential politics there isn’t a single techno-media trendoid we haven’t embraced now.

Still, I’m not sure this one is really projecting the proper message:


I’m a little concerned with the definition of the root word, from “tum-ble” - verb (used without object) [ it always is around here] 

  1. to fall helplessly down, end over end, as by losing one's footing, support, or equilibrium; plunge headlong: to tumble down the stairs.
  2. to roll end over end, as in falling: The stones tumbled down the hill.
  3. to fall or decline rapidly; drop: Prices on the stock market tumbled today.
  4. to perform gymnastic feats of skill and agility, as leaps or somersaults.
  5. to fall suddenly from a position of power or authority; suffer overthrow: As one dictator tumbles, another is rising to take his place.

Yikes! Those don’t sound like useful allusions to me. Butt what do I know about effective propaganda? Here’s what our really Big Brains have to say about our new tool:

“We see some great things here at the White House every day, and sharing that stuff with you is one of the best parts of our jobs.”

mo booksigning32Like candid pictures of Lady M signing copies of her Midnight in the Organic Garden of Good and Evil book

“That’s why we’re launching a Tumblr. We’ll post things like the best quotes from President Obama, or video of young scientists visiting the White House for the science fair, or photos of adorable moments with Bo.”

big and little bo

“We’ve got some wonky charts, too. Because to us, those are  actually kind of exciting.” [i.e. great propaganda tools]

“But this is also about you.[No. It’s really never about you] President Obama is committed to making this the most open and accessible administration in history, and our Tumblr is no exception.” [True; about Tumblr being no exception. See Benghazi for demonstration of this open and accessible “transparency”]

“We want to see what you have to share: Questions you have for the White House, stories of what a policy like immigration reform means to you, or ways we can improve our Tumbling." [You seem to be doing quite well on your own as of late] We’re new here, and we’re all ears.” [Ha! That’s a good WON guys!]

glen and bo ears

Butt here’s my favorite part:

“o give us a follow, send a post our way using the submission tool, and stick around to see some things you won’t want to miss.”

As you might imagine, the MSM lapdogs have been trampling all over each other to be the first to submit to Barackus of Borg.

dogs bowingMSM lapdogs practicing their submission

Now, on to some hard news: The Hill just reported that there was a celebrity studded super-secret Inaugural after party back in January – as if this was news. Even though People Magazine covered it back when…well, when it actually took place.

I don’t know what the big deal is anyway, it’s not as if this was our first after-party; and it definitely won’t be our last. Butt the interesting part is that The Hill suddenly found this news worthy. In a media variation of the “history begins the day you were born” mindset of the young, it seems that since no one on The Hill’s  staff saw or heard about it at the time, it didn’t become news until they decided to cover it. In a timely fashion. Sort of like Benghazi.

FNC where were abc nbc cbs cnnAd_9_18

Since the lapdogs were so busy ensuring covering Big Guy’s re-election, they just didn’t notice this little story about terrorism at the consulate and CIA compound.

Even now, with the Benghazi whistleblowers schedule to testify today at Congressional hearings, we won’t know whether it will be deemed to be real news until it is posted on the Big White Tumblr, thereby freeing up the lapdogs to report on it.

bulldog puppies bowing

Submit now! Submit now!

BarackusofBorgOnce You Submit, Resistance is Futile

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and LL1885 and llsmith2449 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Amusing Bunni (Carol Mackie) Will Be Laid To Rest Tomorrow

Zilla just emailed me that American Perspective published the funeral arrangements for our friend Carol:


The Catholic Funeral Mass for Carol Mackie (Amusing Bunni) has been scheduled.

Viewing will be at 9am on Wednesday May 8, 2013 at:
Lakeview Funeral Home
1458 W. Belmont Ave.
Chicago, IL 60657

Funeral Mass will be at 11am the same day at:
Transfiguration Catholic Church
2609 W. Carmen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60625

Followed by a procession to the cemetery where Carol Bunni will be buried with her mother, who died when Carol was age 5:
Calvary Catholic Cemetery
301 Chicago Ave.
Evanston, IL 60202

A funeral fund has been established to help pay for the service. Donations can be made directly to the Lakeview Funeral Home to be applied to her account, or through the Bunni Funeral Expense Fund donate button here.

Bunni’s obituary was published on the Chicago Tribune website and you can leave a message of remembrance.

UPDATE: Most of us won’t be able to attend Carol’s funeral, so Zilla has come up with a way to be there in the ether, by tweeting out your Bunni thoughts with the hashtag #BunniLove.

Rest in Peace, Carol.

Linked By: Zilla Stevenson on twitter, Thanks!

A Hole in WON?

I’m just trying to fill some time here while waiting for the Benghzi hearings to start tomorrow. So I thought I’d fill you in on a few things that are going on around here.

For starters, let’s talk golf, shall we?

whats that sticking up his...After losing the golf match, Big Guy returns with his tail between his legs...I may be missing something, butt how does a “guy” do that?

After Big Guy went out of his way to reach across the aisle to the three Republicans with the lowest handicap in the Senate and offers them a chance to play golf with him, how do they thank him? By making him out to be a loser; and not just that, butt they had to rub his nose in it:

Chambliss, who was paired with (Senator Robert) Corker, shot a hole-in-one on the eleventh. The Chambliss-Corker pairing won the match, according to the White House.

168163049Senator Corker and Big Guy graciously acknowledge Saxby’s hole-in-one 

Just like a Republican. Take every chance you get to showcase Big Guy’s inadequacies.

And on the Lady M radar: She’ll be signing copies of her big Midnight in the Organic Garden of Good and Evil book later this morning:

Ahead of the one-year anniversary of the publication of her first book, First Lady Michelle Obama will autograph copies of American Grown: The Story of the White House Kitchen Garden and Gardens Across America at Washington, DC's independent Politics & Prose Bookstore on Tuesday, May 7, at 11:15 AM. The White House announced the event today, and Mrs. Obama will spend about an hour and a half at Politics & Prose.

And the Organic Garden is absolutely awesome this year! I understand we’ve already taken our first historic pea:

Screenshot Studio capture #1070

I know what you’re thinking: you heard that Big White private Chef Sam Kass was furloughed due to the Republican sequester. He was, butt just for a day (we were going out to dinner anyway), so we could announce that we were sharing your pain by giving up our private chef too. Butt now Sammy’s back on all 3 payrolls: chief organic garden monitor, No Child’s Fat Behind coordinator, and private Big White super chef.

Well, that’s all I have time for today. I’m going to be busy reinforcing Lady M’s book signing frock, as well as the one she’ll be wearing after the Senate hearings designed to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that

…the U. S. Department of State participated in the cover-up of an Islamist terror attack on the brink of a U. S. presidential election, implying the murders of our fellow citizens were inspired by an execrable video that nobody saw.

Thus proving, also beyond all reasonable doubt, that America really did elect A-Hole in Won last November.

bo smugjpg

No wonder Chrissy Matthews’ is still hearing those racist dog whistles. There isn’t going to be much of anything else he’s going to want to hear for the next few weeks.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and MuseumTwenty and llsmith2449 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, May 6, 2013

Trust Your Government, Kobe Kids, or Else…

So, I open my email and there, staring me in the screen, is one from Gerard with the headline: “Michelle Obama Proposes Slaughtering Obese Children”! Now you know that got my attention.

mo closeupEEEUUU! That doesn’t smell right.

The article is from Mark Donahue of The Daily Rash:

LAS VEGAS – First Lady Michelle Obama spoke over the weekend at a gathering of physicians and nutritionists at a Childhood Obesity forum at the Bellagio hotel. Sporting a sleeveless garment that allowed her toned arms to mesmerize awestruck attendees, the first lady regaled her admirers as a physically fit waitstaff served healthy hors d’oeuvres and United Nations approved spring water. The atmosphere at the forum was alive and festive with Brazilian guitar music and slender belly dancers. Before she took the podium, Mrs. Obama danced with Alec Baldwin and afterward beat him in an arm wrestling contest to the great delight of many.

Ok, sounds like any number of valid and responsible reports filed by one of our lapdogs. Then Mr. Donahue moves on to report on Lady M’s comments:

When Mrs. Obama was introduced she spoke eloquently about the necessity of nutrition and exercise in the lives of American children. She spoke compassionately about young people who over-eat to avoid dealing with problems and she spoke earnestly about her resolve to implement healthy lifestyle choices in public schools. It was when she began to speak about the morbidly obese that the first lady’s tone changed.

“She became angry, and justifiably so,” barked Jasper Cunningham, a dietitian attending the conference. “I don’t know how many hours a week I waste trying to convince profoundly large children to eat properly. It’s maddening! They don’t care what you say, they don’t care what they look like…” (snip)

“Sure, slaughtering them seems harsh. But if you take the time to really think it through, it’s actually more humane to extinguish the poor souls than prolong their agony isn’t it? Let’s be honest, it’s just going to get worse, and that’s not good for anybody.”

Did he just suggest that Lady M wants to slaughter children who refuse to loose their fat behinds? Yes, I think he did!

It starts to become obvious that we have to get the do nothing Congress to pass some common sense controls on what the “press” can say about Lady M, doesn’t it?


Now I don’t know about you, butt that does not sound like the rational, super intelligent, Fashion Icon and Busy Mom© (h/t: Cripes Suzette) I know. Let me explain.

First, if lady M really wanted to slaughter children with fat behinds, don’t you think she would be encouraging them to eat fatty foods and drink lots of sugary beverages? Don’t you think that she would be encouraging schools to serve fried chicken, chili fries and cheesey tater tots with every meal? Don’t you think she would call for the establishment of Kobe Kids clubs where little porkers could get Japanese massages to tenderize them and increase the marbling?


Me too. I think the whole thing is as phony as the story that a YouTube video sparked a spontaneous riot in Bengh...well, never mind.

So, just to clarify; this article – about Lady M proposing the consumption of children - is NOT real! That’s right. It’s called “satire” and The Rash isn’t even the first to use it in a story about eating children. That honor would go to Jonathan Swift and his Modest Proposal.

And since all good satire is based on rational argument, The Rash’s story isn’t even particularly good satire because, as I just demonstrated above (maximum marbling), this story makes no sense at all.

Big Guy offered up his own Modest Proposal this weekend, via his commencement address at the largest university in the perennial swing state of Ohio:

bo commencement ohio stateBig Guy, projected; gazing at you gazing back up at him gazing at you.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: Unfortunately, you've grown up hearing voices that incessantly warn of government as nothing more than some separate, sinister entity that's at the root of all our problems. Some of these same voices also do their best to gum up the works. They'll warn that tyranny always lurking just around the corner. You should reject these voices. Because what they suggest is that our brave, and creative, and unique experiment in self-rule is somehow just a sham with which we can't be trusted.

Two problems here with Big Guy’s satire: as I just pointed out above, good satire has to be grounded in reality.  Today’s college graduates grew up “incessantly” hearing voices warn of government being a sinister entity? He cannot be serious!! Has he not seen the public school pro-government curriculum for the past 25 years!?!

Students haven’t heard voices warning about tyranny lurking around the corner since the 60’s (1960’s, not the 1760’s). And that part where BO said “that our brave, and creative, and unique experiment in self-rule is somehow just a sham with which we can't be trusted” – well, I’m not a psychiatrist, butt that sounds like a classic case of projection to me.

And did you see what else he just did there? He just deflected the students’ concern away from finding a job to watching out for anarchists. This is good on several levels; it helps the new grads forget that they now have about $80,000 in student loans and no prospect for getting a good job. Despite Big Guy having focused on JOBS JOBS JOBS like a laser beam for 4 1/2 years now. And it makes the Party of “NO” – or at least the remnants of the Party of “NO” – appear to be anti-government obstructionists.

On the other hand, I do give Big Guy high marks in Irony 101 for this little piece of work. In one short paragraph he managed to:

  1. play the role of the wolf warning the flock to beware of other wolves in sheep clothes
  2. personifying that which the Founders most feared about government: immoral men subverting the powers of limited government for their own purposes
  3. blurring the edges around the historical fact that this country was founded by a revolution intended to throw off the tyranny of another government.

Wow! That’s impressive, even for a Constitutional Lawyer.

Now if he can just nail that spelling thing, he might be President someday.

Dyslexic in OhioBig Guy on the 2012 campaign trail with the dyslexic Ohio State spelling team


breitbart_store_bug_colorJust a reminder

Linked By: MuseumTwenty on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, May 5, 2013

The “Frocky Horror Picture Show©” 2013 Battle Is Now….Over!

The 2013 Edition of my historic “Frocky Horror Picture Show©” battle is in the can and we have a winner. The battle was fierce, fraught with technical difficulties and Court Orders. Over 4 million votes were cast and my servers are in dire need of a rest.

The history books will record this election and the final results as a textbook example of Chicago Rules. Peaceful protesters marched on my little bunker challenging entries featuring Lady M in attire that, in their opinion, did not meet the strict definition of a “frock”:


Butt I looked it up in my Funk & Wagnalls app,


and found:

    1. an outer garment worn by monks and friars
    2. an outer garment worn chiefly by men:
      1. a long loose mantle
      2. a workman's outer shirt; especially
      3. woolen jersey worn especially by sailors
    3. woman's dress


Lucky for me, Chicago Rules are in effect, so I have awarded my coveted Golden FLOTUS to 2 finalists.

After an exhausting night of counting absentee ballots and analyzing dangling chads, my super secret Election Results Overseers in the Windy City have certified the results (rounded here to the nearest 1,000) and the winner(s) is(are):

In The Category “Traditional Frocky Horror” - Garnering 1,180,000 Votes


Janet: “The MOTUS Bulge look”


In The NEW Category “Non-Traditional Frocky Horror” - Garnering 745,000 Votes


run4fun53: “low class trash”


CONGRATULATIONS Janet and run4fun53, winners of my 2013 “Frocky Horror Picture Show©” Battle, and all the others who entered and lost did not win failed to buy enough votes are special. Janet and run4fun53 have earned the people’s ovation and fame forever, are now permanently ensconced in my Snark Attack Hall Of Fame and have received my coveted, Golden FLOTUS!

I close my first, historic Frocky Horror Picture Show© contest out with a h/t to Janna for inspiring the original concept and this promise/warning: there will be more. Because, people, as admirable a job as you all did – and it was admirable - we barely scratched the surface.

For instance, this little gem from Big Guy’s first historic Nobel Peace Prize party in Norway didn’t even make it into the frocks for consideration:

             oslo4_thumb[10]obama01.jpggolden flotus norway_thumb[101]

This wrinkly, crinkly golden Oslo Frocky Horror vision served as inspiration for the original Golden FLOTUS statuette! I hope Calvin Klein is proud of himself.

I know I am (proud of myself, that is).

Linked By: iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and llsmith2449 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network