Thursday, May 9, 2013

Benghazi Hearings Non-Event: The “How To” Tutorial

They don’t call Big Guy the luckiest man in the world for nothing.

obama inaugural invitation 2013 001

Can you believe it? Not only did the the Cleveland House of Horrors story break the day before the whistleblowers testimony, butt then the Jodi Arias verdict come down yesterday afternoon too. Don’t ask me who she is or why anyone should care, butt apparently LIV’s (Low Information Voters) have been following her soap opera for months on end and find it far more riveting than the Benghazigate story.

If you were paying attention to the hearings, you would have learned quite a bit by yesterday’s testimonies. Fortunately for Big Guy the MSM lapdogs don’t pay attention and the LIV’s don’t do learning or watch Fox News; so I think both BO and Hill are safe.

Butt just in case, we’ve put together a tutorial which provides guidelines for everyone to follow when responding to any awkward questions that may arise in relation to Benghazigate. 

Here are the official, pre-approved reasons to write off/ignore the Benghazi 3:


1. Are you kidding me – three white guys?!

2. They’re racists; clearly unable to deal with a Black man being in the Big White.(h/t Chrissy Matthews)

3. Whistleblowers? More like dog-whistle blowers. (ditto h/t above)

4. They’re just disgruntled employees; you know, demoted/passed over for promotion or just general malcontents.

And we’ve prepared some standard answers that our supportive news networks can use, as well as any member of the Administration who might get cornered. Actually these are pretty much all purpose responses that will work for just about any uncomfortable inquiry:

1. “What difference, at this point, does it make?

2. “That happened a long time ago.”

3. “The outcome was sub-optimal.”

4. “There will be bumps in the road.”

5. "I'm not familiar with this notion that anybody has been blocked from testifying."

6.  "So what I'll do is I will find out what exactly you are referring to."

And here, helpful suggestions for our lapdogs the major networks on how best to advocate our position(s):

1. Cover as little of the actual testimony as possible; instead cover the Democratic members “questions.”

2. If unavoidable, break to a sensational sex crime story ASAP

3. Follow up with a story that will assist our gun control agenda: any crime involving a gun. Be sure to say “high capacity magazine.”

4. Next, find a feel-good story about an undocumented worker living in the shadows.

5. And finally, Oh look - there’s a squirrel!

attack squirrel

Linked By: BadBlue, and AnnieLaurie on twitter, and Mireille Buser and Gene Vallee and Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network