Weekly Roundup: SSTP**

The Pope wrapped up his New York visit with a Mass at Madison Square Garden.  Earlier in the day he appeared at the UN where, to the delight of Gaia worshipers everywhere, he declared that the environment is a person too thereby endowed with certain unalienable rights (unfortunately not recognized in other parts of the world such as China and the Middle East, to name two):

“It must be stated that a true ‘right of the environment’ does exist,” Francis said.

“Any harm done to the environment, therefore is harm done to humanity.”

The environment joins with humans and animals in demanding social justice

The Pope’s visit came, conveniently,  

on the eve of a UN conference intended to adopt 17 new goals for a more sustainable model of development, and during the last stretch of negotiations on a deal to fight climate change. – The Guardian

Elsewhere, in a SHOCK poll, 62% of Republicans feel betrayed by their party; causing Speaker Boehner to humbly take a bow:

He did so shortly after our el Presidente did likewise; although he, unfortunately, did not resign immediately following.

Next, el Presidente greeted visiting Chinese President Xi Jinping in the Rose Garden, where screens were erected around the White House to block out those pesky human rights protestors. Just for the record, had they been environmental protestors they wouldn’t have fared any better.

Also this week, Lady M named the new baby Panda at the Washington National Zoo after Beyoncé:

And then honored her again with her Bey gown and wig at last night’s Chinese State Dinner:

Oh yes, and the FBI found over 900 of Hillary’s “deleted” emails related to Libya, some of which related to Benghazi. They will be turning them over to Trey Gowdy’s committee. This news might even be worthy of a new hairdo – for Trey, not Hill.

l to r: the choir boy, the college professor, the Gordan Gekko, the surfer dude h/t Pocket Full of Liberty

I vote for the crew cut:

Keep it SSTP**

Tune in tomorrow for more on the miraculous resurrection of Hill’s emails.

**SSTP - Short, Sweet, To the Point:

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

How About a Little More Separation of Church and State

Hey, it wasn’t all bad! Here are my key take-aways from Pope Francis’ address to Congress:

Sanctity of Life – he still upholds.  Which means he’s still opposed to abortion (to the consternation of the progs, butt they chose to ignore that point) and now apparently is also opposed to capital punishment for the rapists/murderers on death row, regardless of their immigration status (the progs applaud loudly). No comment on the torture and slaughter of Christians/Jews and other infidels at the hand of ISIS and other Muslim sects. Perhaps that will be the next encyclical.

Capitalism - opposed – especially the greedy, unfettered sort that results in air conditioning and wealth disparity. Related: wealth redistribution – strongly in favor; it’s the best path to social justice. Oh wait, you’ll need to practice more of that unfettered greedy capitalism in order to produce enough wealth to redistribute. 

Immigration – the more the merrier, the U.S. should take all comers! After all, you’re rich, thanks to the unfettered capitalism that I warned against. I presume The Pope’s advice applies also to his native land of Argentina. No reason they couldn’t handle about a few million more Muslims – oh wait; they can’t afford it, due to decades of socialism instead of unfettered capitalism. Too bad; the people of South America will never be able to experience the most beautiful thing Barack Hussein Obama has ever heard – the call to morning prayer.

King Fahd Mosque in Buenos Aires, Argentina – how about 1000 more just like this? You know, to provide a little of that bio-diversity called for in Laudato Si?

 

Climate change – we must stop it! Stop it now. Wow, if I didn’t know better I would think the Pope was fronting for the United Nations smart-growth communism agenda.

Butt I know the Pope means well, it’s just that he’s neither an economist or a scientist. So while he’s perfectly capable of providing the spiritual leadership of his flock I think he needs to leave the politics and financial leadership to others. Which is why I must insist that we refocus our attention on maintaining an appropriate separation of church and state around here.

From this point forward I’m afraid I must insist that public policy be completely severed from the Green Church of Global Warming/Climate Change/Gaia.

Portico to the Green Church of Global Warming/Climate Change/Gaia.

So let’s hear no more nuevo-Peronista style social justice communism. And let’s ditch “The Science is Settled” fallacy of environmental justice platform as well. Both are designed to redistribute the wealth of nations which I don’t think is technically the responsibility of the Church.

“…that which belongs to Caesar and to God that which belongs to God.”

Maybe we could all focus more on the evil embedded in the Prophet’s “Religion of Peace” that desires to inflict a new caliphate on the world? You know, that medieval “religion” of oppression that has created many of our 21st century problems. Instead of attacking capitalism and fossil fuels how about calling for a reform of that religion? Because the last time I looked, shariah did not recognize the rights of women, gays, or even goats.

Pretty barbaric, really. And absent a reformation of that religio-political philosophy from the dark ages perhaps the best thing the Pope can do is follow in the footsteps of Pope Urban II: declare a crusade to recover the Holy Lands from this human stain.

BREAKING NEWS: YESTERDAY’S TEARS EXPLAINED; BYE BYE BOEHNER!

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The Pilgrims Progress

Jeb tells us they come for love, the Pope tells us they come as pilgrims.

“The Church in the United States knows like few others the hopes present in the hearts of these ‘pilgrims.’ …

I tend to side with the Pope on this, although I don’t think he means what he thought he meant:

The pilgrimage (Hajj) has been the scene of deadly disasters in the past, including stampedes, tent fires and riots. –The UK Telegraph

So while the Pope may call the illegal immigrants pouring over our borders a pilgrimage; some of us would call it an invasion.

There’s a huge difference

Fortunately pilgrimage is not one of the areas of faith and morals where the Pope is infallible. Nor is the realm of economics - where The Pope favors the Latin American Marxist practice of redistribution of a fixed sized pie (How’s that working out for you, Argentina? Venezuela? Cuba?) rather than the American model of the growing pie, expansive capitalism. Nor, thankfully, is science an area of Papal infallibility, as demonstrated during the reign of Pope Urban VIII who imprisoned Galileo in 1633 for the heresy of suggesting that the earth revolved around the sun rather than vice versa.

So I’m perfectly okay with Pope Francis beatification of Father Junipero Serra Canonization, even though he only had one certified miracle to his name, vs. the four normally required. (Although there are some who object on purely anti-White Privilege grounds.) After all, il Papa has every right to canonize saints.

And with regard to Father Serra – we all know there has been a lot of pressure to canonize an American “White-Hispanic” so, just like with Mother Seton, it was all-a-politics. As Father Guido Sarduci explained a long time back:

 

Full transcript:

Father Guido Sarducci: [ smoking cigarette ] You know, you don't have-a a patron saint for the United States, but there are some American saints. Just the last couple of years they made-a some. The first was-a about-a two years ago.

Her name was-a Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton. Mother Seton-is-a what they call her. And she's got-a these nuns of her own order who lobby-they're real heavy-they came to Rome and everything. And it's amazing, you see. To be made a saint in-a the catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That's-a the rules, you know. It's-a always been that-a-four miracles; and-a to prove it.

Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And do you know why? It's-a because she was American. It's all-a politics.

We got-a some Italian-a people, they got-a forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't-a get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with-a three lousy miracles. I understand that-a two of them was-a card tricks. Next thing you know, they're gonna be making Kreskin a saint. Saint Kreskin-they'll probably call him. It's a good one. - Father Guido Sarduci, Weekend Update with Dennis Miller, Saturday Night Live

I’m-a-Father Sarducci, and I-approve-a this message.

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A Tribute To a Great One: His Wise Words Are Timeless

Today’s post is dedicated to the memory of the great Yogi Berra

RIP Yogi 1925-2015

Let’s just revel in some of the best Yogisms:

“You can observe a lot by just watching.”

“It's like déjà vu all over again.”

“A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.”

“We made too many wrong mistakes.”

“I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.”

“Pair up in threes.”

“I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked). They had bags over their heads.”

“I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats.”

“I never said most of the things I said.”

“It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”

“So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

In other news:

The Pope arrives amidst much fanfare (Is the Pope Catholic? It isn’t just a rhetorical question anymore.) and the FBI, unexpectedly, recovers Hillary’s emails. Remember her in your prayers.

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The Old Grey Mare

The old gray mare
She ain't what she used to be
Ain't what she used to be
Ain't what she used to be
The old gray mare
She ain't what she used to be
Many long years ago
Many long years ago

Not that it really matters, butt here’s proof that old two-face is the one who started the rumors about Barry being a Muslim (not that there’s anything wrong with that):

Heilemann confirmed a stunning fact: that during the 2008 presidential race, it was Hillary Clinton who started the rumor that Barack Obama might not be a Christian. – NewsBusters

The Old Gray Hair Ain’t What She Used To Be, butt she’s still two-faced

Surprising, isn’t it, how frequently horse-faced imagery emerges in politics?

And speaking of politics, I see Governor Walker dropped out of the contest, taking a swipe at The Donald on the way out:

I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race so that a positive conservative message can rise to the top of the field.

That was very generous of you Governor Walker, you did a fine job dealing with the public Labor Unions that were bleeding your state treasury to death, butt your multiple positions on “the immigration problem” left us all hoping for a more “positive conservative message.” So, maybe next time; for now, carry on - your state still needs you.

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And Now, For All the Money, the Final Category in “Family Feud”

If Joey B decides to throw his hat into the ring it will be a real toss up to determine who has the best arithmetic skills: Joey, for simultaneously demonstrating his command of both language and math with this: “a 3 letter word: JOBS!,” Or Hillary, doing the same, with her response to the probing inquiry on Face the Nation: J. Dickerson: "Describe yourself in 3 words.” Hillary: “I am a real person!” 

And if I weren’t, would I be able to do this bobble-head impersonation?!

Furthermore, Hillary would like you all to know that she apologizes for using her private email server while serving as SOS, even though it was all “allowed.”

Why? Because she skirted administration policy and potentially exposed confidential national security communications? No, because the controversy has overshadowed her accomplishments as Secretary of State in her 2016 bid for president. – Fortune

Wait, let’s try a take 2 on that issue:

“I’m sorry that I made a choice that has raised all of these questions because I don’t like reading that people have questions about what I did and how I did it.”

No, no indeed…I don’t suppose you do:

Family Feud category of the day - Things a Replicant Might Say:

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding!

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What’s Your Nerd Skill?

It’s been a banner week for nerds:

A “science” nerd purchased a deconstructed alarm clock on EBay and brought it to school for show-and-tell and couldn’t figure out why everyone freaked out.

Ahmed and his Midnight Visitor

Even Bill Maher came down on the side of the school saying “People at the school thought it might be a bomb … because it looks exactly like a f*cking bomb,” thus proving definitively that even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Political nerds got into a macho “fist fight” at the GOP  Mackinac Conference. (H/T to journ0list nerds covering the story: it’s “Mack-in-Naw” not “Mack-in-Nack” Island)

Midnight on Mackinac Island: a brawl’s about to break out

And then we had our own nerd celebration right here on MOTUS: UpNorthLurkin’s nerd tutorial on how to use simplified HTML tags to make magic in your Disqus comments:

Left arrow symbol, forward slash, i, right arrow symbol

i = italics
b = bold
s = strike through
u = underline

For Bold, the letter is b, For Underline, it is u. Everything else (symbols) as just above

To "close" whatever you're trying to do.... use the < followed by the / then the "b", the "i", the "s" (without the quote marks) and end with the >

OK everyone? Got it? <i>text you want in italics</i> It’s really nerd magic! And for her super-nerd skill at training the MOTI in nerd magic Raj has prepared the following award which I now proudly present to UNL:

Congratulations UNL! You’re Geek of the Week - as determined by MOTUS’ head nerd and geek extraordinaire, Raj. Sorry, all decisions by the judges are final and not subject to review or recount. And here’s your medal: wear it with pride, you earned it yourself, nobody else did that for you.

And not to diminish your skills in any way, butt I should point out that there’s another nerd out there with impressive skills too: Grace Jones. She has nerd skills that have enabled her to live for 5000 years. Of course, the way things are going, some of us might consider that more of a curse than a skill.

Grace Jones: celebrating 5000 years of a deconstructed life

I am MOTUS, and I reassemble deconstructed reality in order to reflect it back to you. What’s your nerd skill?

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