Saturday, May 23, 2015

Hold the Popcorn: Hillary’s Best Emails Are Still In The Can

Oh sure, there will still be barbecues,there will still be parades, complete with marching bands and cheerleaders:

harf leads the parade copy_thumb[3]The very best cheerleaders are made, not born

Butt there won’t be a marathon Memorial Day weekend of Hill-mail to entertain ourselves with, so hold the popcorn for now. Turns out there were only 300 emails set loose, not the 80,000 I was anticipating. Three hundred measly emails? That’s barely enough to get a bird through breakfast.

finch popcorn

And mind you, they’ve all been hand-screened, redacted and authorized for public consumption. As Charles Krauthammer said, there will be no smoking gun:

“There isn’t a shred of evidence,” he said, “because she shredded the evidence. This whole release is a farce.”

Not that there aren’t some juicy bits about inappropriate reporters buried in the dump:

In an interview with Wall Street Journal reporter Monica Langley, an exchange apparently so fawning that Clinton’s aides exchanged a series of emails mocking the reporter’s obsequiousness and repeated invasions of Clinton’s personal space, the secretary made it clear how hard she had taken his loss.

hillary-red-“Whoa! Back off there Monica! Can I call you Monica?”

She took Ambassador Stevens loss so hard in fact that she forgot his name.

chris stevens

Butt of course, what difference at this point does it make?

So here we are, 300 emails later and all we’ve learned is that Hilz likes hard copies and she sleeps late.


They really should hold the briefings at 3:00 AM when Hilz is still wide-awake and par-taying.

So just sit back and enjoy the skill of this highly honed political beast. From claiming she wanted the State Department to release her emails “ASAP” – when she was the one holding them up - to the 300 hand-selected emails dumped on this holiday weekend, Hillary has displayed all the customary hubris associated with that legendary Clinton mystique.


Not to mention an inherent cynicism of American voters. Butt if Hillary is cynical about the voters, she might want to remember that what goes around comes around.


“She thinks we are all stupid and that we don’t get it. But we do: Hillary set up her home server to circumvent the Freedom of Information Act, she did just that, and once caught, she wiped her server clean and got rid of everything she didn’t want us to see.”

Oh, I forgot, we also  learned that Hilz knew the State Department had asked YouTube to block that anti-Muslim video. And while “leaning on corporate cronies to suppress Americans’ speech for political ends would be a disqualifying offense for a candidate in a sane world,” in the Clintonian world where dog whistles are routinely and cynically deployed as needed this will simply be written off as another vast right-wing conspiracy.

So fire up the grill and get the burgers, brats and dogs ready. That will be the only good roasting you’ll be enjoying this weekend. Because the really juicy bits have still not been released.


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Friday, May 22, 2015

This Week’s Top Mis-spoke, Mis-misunderstanding and Lie

This week’s top Mis-spoke award goes to Mosul Marie:

mosul marieGoodness, what a big face you have!

Following in the lip prints of Baghdad Bob the ever affable Marie advises us that the Iraqi army is still “holding the line” just outside the city of Ramadi:


Hold that line! Hold that line!” Boy, that high school cheerleading experience sure comes in handy now that Marie is the deputy spokesmouth at the State Department.

Barbie Harf Cheerleader copyMarie Harf: Varsity Cheerleader for the Grandville High Blue Aces, 1999

And did you know that when Marie was an actual high school cheerleader she nearly died from toxic shock syndrome? True story; maybe that explains way some things take a synaptic path around her brain and come out of her mouth.

Anyway, after she recovered she reported with wisdom beyond her 16 years that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” In her ever growing wisdom and maturity she more recently advised us that “we cannot kill our way out of this war.” I guess that’s her way of saying we’re stronger now than when George W. Bush was in charge.

I’m thinking her most recent missive however may have been referring to the way the Iraqi army has been bravely holding the line against Global Warming outside their key cities; you know, like Big Guy discussed with the Coast Guard grads:

“No nation is immune. So I am here today to say that climate change constitutes a serious threat to global security, an immediate risk to our national security, and, make no mistake, it will impact how our military defends our country. And so we need to act— and we need to act now.”

Which brings me to this week’s Mis-misunderstanding award which, obviously, goes to Barry:

morton salt girlGoodness, what a big wind you have!

Just because it’s raining doesn’t mean the climate is changin’.

I didn't quite believe it when I heard that America's commander-in-chief had addressed the graduating class of the Coast Guard Academy and delivered a speech about climate change. But it's true:

This brings me to the challenge I want to focus on today -- one where our Coast Guardsmen are already on the front lines, and that, perhaps more than any other, will shape your entire careers -- and that's the urgent need to combat and adapt to climate change.

What a bore this time of year is. There seems to be only a couple of topics the ever shrinking list of approved speakers get to talk about to America's youth. So Obama droned on about climate change and Mann-boosting hack Bill Nye the Science Guy discoursed on race. Maybe someone switched their speeches. – Mark Steyn

And there really wasn’t any contest for the Lie of the week: hands down to Hillary. Take your pick: for “mis-remembering to report $26 million in speaking fees, or for flat out lying about the video that prompted the Benghazi attack. So you can spend the holiday weekend reading the 80,000 redacted Hillary emails which will be officially dumped later today for public consumption. Or if you’d rather just have a weenie roast instead, that’s fine too.

hillary_hot_dogGoodness, what big, uhh, eyes you have!

Because, you know, what difference, at this point, does it make?


2859_WolfinSheepClothing puppet

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Thursday, May 21, 2015

American Capitalism: Chopped, Rolled and Smoked

Can you blame Hillary for believing America has already embraced European-style socialism and plans her campaign strategy accordingly?

obama-appoints-european-socialist-esther-duflo-to-head-us-global-development-councilWelcome to America: the new cheese-eating surrender monkeys.

Her approach — outlined in interviews with aides and advisers — is a bet that social and demographic shifts mean that no left-leaning position Clinton takes now would be likely to hurt her in making her case to moderate and independent voters in the general election next year.

Our federal food stamp (SNAP) program tops out at $74 billion/year and “according to GAO, there are at least 18 different nutrition assistance programs, and together they spend over $100 billion annually of taxpayer funds.”  And still, progressive legislators complain that’s not enough.

bernie sanders and wife.“What do we want? We want more!” h/t Johnny Rocco

Possibly because we have a 37 year low “labor participation rate” - translation: 93 million people in America are simply “no longer in the workforce” – and in addition 40% of the 8.5 million officially unemployed are no longer even LOOKING for work! (So we can add another 3.4 million to that 93 million – assuming you know how to do your common core number bonds).

So again I ask: can you blame Hilz for running to the left? Not only does it look like we’ve embraced European-style socialism, butt it looks like we’ve even upped the ante. Therefore the ever pragmatic (some would say opportunistic) Hillary is prepared to embrace paid family leave, paid child care, higher minimum wage, and “affordable,” i.e. government paid, college and endless unemployment…all that in addition, of course, to HillaryKare ObamaKare. All so your children and grandchildren will be able to “follow their bliss.”

So that’s that: socialism! That’s what we need more of around here!


Cuba’s successful experiment with European socialism will now serve to enlighten our economic policies and political ideology for generations to come.

havanaAfter all, Havana (above) was Detroit (below) before Detroit was even Detroit

welcome to detroit we've changed

So rather than fight it, what do you say we just sit back and enjoy a lovely Havana?

obama sniffing cigar

And because America’s had enough of old, white socialist guys, what say we rally around a Clinton/Warren ticket in 2016?

clinton warren sanders

bubba cigarThis political message was brought to you by the Clinton Global Initiative where our motto is: Smoke ‘em if you’ve got ‘em

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Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Hypothetically, Would You Still Have Voted For the Duck?

Has there ever been a hypothetical question asked without malice aforethought?

hot-dog-cakeBradford is overwhelmed with the gravitas of the hypothetical question posed to him.

If the question comes from a lawyer or journalist the answer is no. Just ask Michael Dukakis or Mitt Romney if you don’t believe me.

So as Big Guy’s foreign affairs strategery continues to implode experience some setbacks, the journo-class has been having a field day asking Republican candidates, and presumed candidates, the hypothetical question of the week:  "Knowing what you know now, would you have authorized the invasion (of Iraq)?" No matter how many times you try to answer it, you aren’t going to come up with a good response. Hypotheticals are just tricky that way; unless, of course, you’re Barack Hussein Obama. In which case no matter how you handle it, the answer will be correct; those are the rules. Even if you don’t actually answer it at.

obama answers reddit questions about ducksenhanced-buzz-duck questionpgAnd although Barry didn’t respond to this Reddit question himself, his staff continued to debate it on-line for a week:

Back in Chicago, the staff were examining the Reddit transcript. There was one question everyone on the team wished Obama had answered. Goff probably would have selected it, according to his colleagues, but he didn’t see it at the time.

Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?

In the days following, staffers debated the answer. Most immediately chose the 100 duck-sized horses— they would be easy to stomp on and were, generally, a reflection of the usual day-to-day conflicts in life.

Because, you know, there wasn’t anything else critical going on around then that was debate worthy.

So here’s my advice; when posed with the hypothetical question “Knowing what you know now, would you have authorized the invasion?” respond with a hypothetical question of your own:

bo on a duckA duck! A duck! My kingdom for a duck! – apologies to King Richard III

Knowing what you know now, would you have voted for Obama? Or a duck?

Remember, it’s just a hypothetical question.

calvin and hobbes hypothetical

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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Softer Side of Ears

obama headHell-ooo Camden! I’m listening! (h/t Frazier Crane)

Having successfully demilitarized the military in order to hand over the surplus equipment to local police forces in order to help them keep the peace in our cities…

policetank in alabamaUnfortunately this well-intended action resulted in accusations of police aggression against young black men

Big Guy’s well integrated administration has now decided  that they need to demilitarize the police as well by introducing “softer” uniforms:

A large part of rebuilding that trust between police and the community comes through “demilitarizing” law enforcement agencies. The task force, for example, suggests that police departments:

…minimize confrontation by using “soft look” uniforms, having officers remove riot gear as soon as practical, and maintaining open postures. “When officers line up in a military formation while wearing full protective gear, their visual appearance may have a dramatic influence on how the crowd perceives them and how the event ends.”

Not to quibble, butt it sounds like Big Guy’s deploying the Sears strategy: “Come see the softer side of Sears.” And I think we all know how well that worked out.

Sears: They could have been Amazon, Sears,_Robuck_&_Co._letterhead_1907

Butt instead decided to become K-mart.Kmart-9

And now Barry’s employing the Sears allegory to Camden, New Jersey? Camden? 


The only city in America that makes Detroit look good? Dude, you’re on thin ice.

Anyway, now that we’ve got Camden New Jersey (population 77k) under control, we can refocus our attention on ISIS in Iraq,


Libya, Syria, Yemen, Cameroon, Niger and Afghanistan. Finally, Big Guy can get around to “shrinking Islamic State's  “sphere of influence’” and “degrading and destroying” them like he promised last September.

Meanwhile, I think we’ve found a use for all that military gear that BHO’s recalling from the local gendarmes:



Don’t forget: “We've got to have a civilian national security force that's just as powerful, just as strong, just as well-funded.”

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Monday, May 18, 2015

Reprise: The People of OWS: Like the People of Wal-Mart, Only Not As Smart

I would like to thank Turd Burgelstein for pointing out that all the whiners offended by micro-aggressions, BMI’s, white privilege and harsh stares are really just this year’s crop of POWS – People of Occupy Wall Street. I will do an update on the whiners and their professorial enablers when time permits, butt in the meantime, I thought it might be fun to repost this golden oldie: it was my most popular post ever and was picked up by the Daily Mail and linked by the Instapundit.

I do find it a bit odd however that after 4 years everyone’s still whining about the same old crap. All I can say about that is: Thank You Obama! 


(Originally Posted October 11, 2011)

While Lady M’s gearing up for her world record breaking jumping jack marathon, I’ve decided to perform a public service myself by highlighting the tragedy of OWS. Accordingly, I’m dedicating today’s post to the People of Occupy Wall Street (POWS). They’ll tell you in their own words how they came to be part of the 99%. A portion of all proceeds from today’s post will be donated to the 501(c)(9) charity, Graduates With Severe Economic Disorders. You can read their complete stories on the People of Occupy Wall Street website, where I’m betting you can make a donation too.

Here are the plights of just a few of the 99 percenters; I’ll let them tell you their stories in their own words:

2003 - definitely bush's faultHome foreclosed in 2003? Definitely Bush’s fault.

hint - easier to get a job without nose ballsOnce you get your Psych degree you’ll probably be smart enough to figure out what the point is. Butt here’s a little free job advice: it’s easier to land a job without nose balls. Especially if you’re going into foodservice, which you will be with a degree in Psych.

did you get fries with that 7 year degree7 years? What did you major in, Government Efficiency Studies? And - this is just a nit - butt most people shorthand “thousand” with a “k” not a “g” – although the “g” does demonstrate creativity and independent thinking. Two things frowned on in Government, so maybe you could try foodservice too.

maybe you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds your familyTough lesson dude: Didn’t Mom ever tell you not to bite the hand that feeds you? Moron.

the borders don't keep you in either

This one is unreadable, butt here’s a transcription of her key points:

“I want out!

I was told to be a Proud American and I’ve been fighting since high school to get out of this country.

I do not want to belong to a this society that first puts a blindfold on its people and then throws it into the unknown.”

Good news for you sweetheart! Since our borders can’t even keep people out, they sure can’t keep people like you in either! Don’t forget to pack hand sanitizer.

Political science - and you can't figure out why you can't get a job

A political science degree? Isn’t that special! And still you can’t figure out why you can’t find a job? Here’s a little hint that might help you out on that 128th job app: spend less time on your demands, more time on how you might be of some use to your potential employer. You know, because they’ll be paying you, not the other way around?

This POWS has a footnote under his message. Like the young lady above he, too, is feeling like he’ll be forced to join the great brain drain and emigrate to find opportunity:

“Was promised a future and have worked my ass off to actually deserve it. Now I’m feeling like my only chance is to pursue opportunities ANYWHERE BUT the United States.”

Good luck dude. I understand that Somalia is looking for a few good political science majors from a top tier school. Don’t forget your hand sanitizer either.

whoa - isn't anyone monitoring this siteWhoa! Tea Party alert! Five degrees, no debt, $150k income? Isn’t anyone monitoring this site?

you look like a smart girl wearing a black braYou look like a smart girl in a black bra, so let’s analyze together: 12 years of college, 3 degrees – one PhD (that’s a degree right? not a bra size?) – and still no decent job? Have you ever watched “What not to wear” honey? It couldn’t hurt. And I think it might help, as I see you do follow instructions well. That IS lucky!

what did I do wrong - duh teaching degreeWhat did you do wrong? Duh! Let’s take this from the top: Nobody gets their masters degree in education BEFORE getting a teaching job! That way they can hire you at a cheap rate, pay for your masters and, since the teachers union makes them, they’ll pay you a whole lot more for getting your masters degree – that they paid for. Sheeze! You’re really too dumb to be a teacher anyway.Sorry about the sexual harassment though. And your boss’ new motorcycles? What a capitalist pig.

so ok stay in botswansSo ok, have a nice life in Botswana. Don’t forget to write. You might want to ask Mom to send hand sanitizer.


Wait, wait! Don’t tell me! You have a masters degree in something that ends in “studies” and starts with “women’s.” If your student loan really grew by $80k in  7 years of “underemployment” I’m betting you didn’t major in math. Or accounting. Or anything else that qualifies you to do anything other than inquire if your customers want to enjoy fries along with their order.

If I’m right, you weren’t “underemployed” you were “overcharged” for what passes as “an education” these days.

There are lots more stories from the annals of the POWS, and I’ll try to highlight a few more every day, just to remind ourselves of the challenges facing America in the months and years ahead.

There’s just one thing that confuses me: a lot of these POWS seem to be mad that they were forced to accumulate a ton of debt with the stew-dent loans that they were tricked into taking to support them for 7 years while completing their degrees in Recycling Studies and beer pong. Now they find out - not only can they not get a job in the field that they picked to “follow their bliss” butt they’re expected to pay their loans back too! That is so unfair. No wonder they want to spread the the other 1%’s wealth around.

Butt seriously: why are they occupying Wall Street? Shouldn’t they be occupying the administration buildings of the universities? Aren’t they the ones cranking out worthless degrees that they’re charging $10-100,000 a year for? How, exactly, is this Colgate-Palmolive’s fault? Other than the fact they’re successful, greedy capitalists?

Did greedy capitalists convince these hapless kids to spend a king’s ransom for a BA in World Politics? Did Exxon Mobil make them sign a contract to borrow $110K in exchange of a Masters in Global Social and Sustainable Enterprises? Did Bank of America trick the kids into borrowing more money than their useless degree is likely to generate in net worth in a lifetime?

I sure hate to spoil a good pity party, butt some people think the (mostly tax funded) education cartel is what created the Education Bubble. I’m sorry it burst. Butt if you’re going to protest, take it to the campuses. They’re even better equipped than Wall Street to recycle garbage. And they have nice warm buildings for when the weather turns on you.

A very special H/T to BKeyser for sharing this very special site with all of us, and for his own  contribution to the POWS:

6228361845_028688737f_bFlickr photo BKeyser

This PSA was brought to you by MOTUS: I reflect, you deride.

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

The Opposite of Diversity: UNIVERSITY*… So Shut Up!

What’s the opposite of diversity? UNIVERSITY! (h/t *Kate at Small Dead Animals; she’s a genius.)

condoleeza riceWith The Closing of the Collegiate Mind, their victory is complete

Remember when universities were bastions of freedom of thought and speech? Yeah, those were the good old days. They’ve now morphed into finishing schools for political correctness which certainly qualifies graduates for a job in education or journalism but isn’t as helpful in fields such as medicine, accounting, engineering and information technology. Butt as they say, “it is what it is.” And besides, what do you expect for an average investment of $80-100,000?

However I would think university administrators everywhere would be concerned when they’ve lost Kirsten Powers, perhaps the last rational liberal  in the country, and certainly the last one at Fox News.

Christina Hoff Sommers has been speaking on college campuses for two decades challenging students to embrace what she calls "equity feminism" over "gender feminism." In her view, the former is focused on legal equality between men and women, the latter on disempowering women by portraying them as perpetual victims of the patriarchy.

This heretical view now requires campus security. (snip)

At Georgetown, a sign outside Sommers' lecture provided a "trigger warning" to alert students that her talk could trigger traumatic feelings.

roy rogers dale evans trigger

Another sign pointed students to a "safe space" for those who were upset by Sommers' presence and promised that "hate speech" would not be allowed. The implication was clear: Sommers' views were "hate speech."

Yikes, what else will these baby-cakes not be able to handle after they leave the rarified enclave of the university? How will they survive in the workplace where adequate trigger warnings and safe spaces are not provided?


And now, beyond trigger warnings for really bad stuff, we also need to be concerned with “micro-aggressions” and “bias motivated incidents.” From Powerline:

In addition to banning “micro-aggressions” some colleges (University of Colorado, Boulder to be specific) have developed a new no-no: BMI’s – Bias Motivated Incidents. And highlighting them with official posters that could only have been created in the legally high Rocky Mountain thin air:

BOULDER CO DIVERSITY (2)Designed by the Future Copy Writers of America

Fortunately this current crop of snowflakes has not completely lost their sense of irony:

First, many of the sensitive souls on the Boulder campus are offended at the poster campaign itself, and have torn down a number of the posters. (If I was still there I’d surely grab one as a souvenir.) Strange how the very people who always say they want a “conversation about racism” always back away from having that “conversation.” But of course, we know what “conversation about racism” really means today: You shut up, and confess your collective white guilt. 

Finally, “BMI” is an ironic acronym for what’s happening here, because “BMI” is better known by most ordinary human beings as the acronym for “body mass index”—in other words, a measure of obesity. So it oddly fits here, as an acronym for the bloat in college administrations that is both making college less and less affordable and stifling speech and free expression at the same time.

The current campus sentiment seems to be “first we ban all the conservatives” because, you know, free speech for me butt not for thee:

A prominent conservative political pundit was uninvited from speaking at Scripps College, in a program designed to promote conservative views on campus, because of his conservative views. -National Review

So it’s hard to figure how George W. Bush got his first speaking gig since leaving office:

I haven’t been asked to give a commencement speech yet, butt if I ever am, I will focus on practical advice.  If you can’t find the job you think you deserve do not lecture job creators on “aspiration and avarice” - which doesn’t mean anything, butt it’s a nice alliteration; I’m guessing here, English major?)

when you're in a hole stop digging owies

Also, if you’re already deep in a hole of debt, stop digging. If you think “graduate school and more debt is looking like my only option” perhaps you should have taken a few courses in math, economics and logic.

I don’t expect to be contacted re. my availability for speechifying any time soon. With that, I’ll close with this archival summary of your First Amendment Rights in the Obama rabbit hole:

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