Saturday, February 13, 2016

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue. I’m Raising Money And Golfing Too

Just another typical romantic Valentines Day for the Obama’s: Big Guy is in California golfing with the Hawaiian buddies:

Ahead of the meeting, the president arrived in Palm Springs today at about noon and headed to the Porcupine Creek golf club in Rancho Mirage, where he played gof for about six hours with Punahou School friends Greg Orme, Bobby Titcomb and Mike Ramos.

Obama is in the midst of a weeklong visit to California. He spent Thursday raising money for Democrats and was likely to spend the weekend playing golf before welcoming the Southeast Asian leaders.

While Lady M is stuck in Washington.

So what to do when you are separated by 2000 miles from your sweetie on Valentine’s day? If you are the Wons you arrange to deliver your special Valentine wishes to each other via the Ellen Show for all America to share; because that’s just the kind of people you are:

“Roses are red, violets are blue. You are the president, and I am your Boo,”

The only question remaining now is where will Lady M and the girls spend their Valentine’s/Presidents weekend this year? Vail? Aspen? Nobody knows yet! We like to keep these things underwrap. And we may have to change our plans up this year as the girls have such busy lives now they won’t be available to serve as Lady M’s excuse for flying off in Air Force Won Too for a weekend of skiing. I tell you, it’s just depressing in Washington some times.

Michelle Obama Colorado

Roses are red, violets are blue. A vacation for you is long overdue.

Butt don’t feel bad about the Wons being separated on Valentine’s Day; they’ve already inconvenienced the little people enough for one holiday by sharing a special dinner out last Monday.

Turns out the first couple — whose first date was the stuff movies are made of — already got romantic on Monday with a fancy dinner out. When Valentine's Day rolls around on Sunday, the president will be golfing sans familia in Rancho Mirage, where he'll stay for the weekend after having dinner there Friday night with King Abdullah II of Jordan.


Roses are red, violets are blue. Having a great time on my rendevous.

Now get your Valentine’s sweets on:

valentines-day-desserts-cake-ballsvalentines sweets

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, February 12, 2016

“I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings”

What? Another Democratic debate last night? I don’t get it, what’s the point?

clinton canary yellow

There are only 2 candidates and they are both old coots who disagree only on how much money it will take to make this country a socialist paradise.

canariesSame species, different shade

There was very little new ground covered and they discussed all the usual topics except Hill’s emails which remain off-limits. The Washington Post summarized it thusly:

This truly was a PBS debate: genteel, civilized, lacking drama — and full of material that’s already aired somewhere else.

Butt after the debate, that’s a different story: not so genteel, not so civilized, and a little bit more drama on Huma’s part:

Huma was probably just having a bad day. A really bad day. And yikes, it’s unlikely it’s going to get any better. For either of the ladies.

humahillary wrinkles

“I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings” – Maya Angelo

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Thursday, February 11, 2016

There’s a Special Place in Hell for Liars and Enablers

Carly dropped out of the Presidential sweepstakes yesterday with this message:

To young girls and women across the country, I say: do not let others define you. Do not listen to anyone who says you have to vote a certain way or for a certain candidate because you're a woman. That is not feminism. Feminism doesn't shut down conversations or threaten women. It is not about ideology. It is not a weapon to wield against your political opponent. A feminist is a woman who lives the life she chooses and uses all her God-given gifts. And always remember that a leader is not born, but made. Choose leadership.

Clearly directed at Hillary and Madeline Albright’s brand of feminism that would have you vote your lady parts or go straight to hell.

hill madeleine3202-06-16, Madeleine Albright advises Hilz supporters about "a special place in hell"

And speaking of hell, I see the Pope has taken a page from the Democrat Party’s play book and dispatched “super confessors” around the world to forgive certain evils the Vatican ranks above other sins. Probably like women who don’t help each other.

Dubbed 'super confessors', for one year only they can absolve sins usually only pardoned by the pope himself.

I wonder if they will be authorized to forgive women who lie about their husband’s philandering, their husband’s sexual victims, their emails, Goldman Sachs, and, well, just about everything else?

Butt never mind all that. On to South Carolina!

howard dean yellByaaaaah!

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Wednesday, February 10, 2016


All hail the winners! The Donald wants to make America great again,


And The Bern, bless his little heart, wants to make it fair.

509085590He’s the one you’ve been waiting 74 years for?

The Bern thinks our country was founded on “fairness.” No wonder he doesn’t believe in individual liberty.  So he’s fomenting a Communist revolution in order to make America fair again and apparently the best way to do that is to take stuff away from some people and give it to some other people. In his gracious acceptance speech he specified things he thinks should be free in order to make it fair. All I can say is “More Sugar!”

As for Hillary, it looks like her Sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits (h/t Charles Krauthammer) is starting to come apart at the seams.

ayJ78ZFxRPSRLkI1deyS_obese_man_ripped_pantsToo much sugar?

Unfortunately there’s not one seamstress in the old band that she’s trying to get back together. So the rag-tag team is losing its fan base to the boy band who, while not hot, is at least giving away a lot of free sh*t. I predict a future shortage of special places in hell.

Cruz, not expected to do well at all in liberal, godless New Hampshire outperformed expectations by coming in a solid third ahead of the rest of the pack. Did you know his parents were mathematicians and computer programmers?


And that he was born in Canada? Where his mother and father owned a seismic-data processing firm that serviced BIG OIL drilling companies?

And what can I say about the rest of the field?

John Kasick nailed a distant second after spending 3 times what Trump did. Not bad for a $12 million investment John, but I think I’d feel safer if Trump or Cruz was in charge of the money.  Oh, and did you know his father was a mailman?

cliff claven

And then there was Marco. He promises to do better next time. Did you know his father was a bartender?

harry snowdon bartender all in the family

I’m not sure about Christie. I think he went home to have a bowl of ice cream.

ice creamWow! That’s YUGE!

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Tuesday, February 9, 2016

That Old Horndog Is Still In the Hunt

brawny man1

Why is the lumberjack stumping for Hillary in the north woods of New Hampshire? I know that sounds like the lead-in to a joke, butt no, seriously: why?

bill lumberjackCan I get me a hunting license here?

Is this another Clinton quid pro quo? “I’ll stump for you in New Hampshire,

lumberjack hillary

and then you’ll stump for me, Brawny Lad. Got it?


Butt this goes beyond even the normal Clinton pandering. And it doesn’t work well for several reasons:

 1. The Lumberjack’s association with Babe, the Blue Ox

blue ox

2. The lumberjack plaid: it’s already been appropriated by another minority group.


3. As well as sluts…


4. And it’s clearly a micro-aggression:


Which brings me to the biggest fail of this pandering effort of all: when you’ve earned, and I do mean earned, the title “Slick Willy”

Cowboy_Bill_Clinton-759240You old horndog you

…you do not want to be associated with anything that might bring the phrase “the slicker picker upper” to mind.

That’s just my take on it, you of course are free to love whoever you want in today’s New Hampshire primary.

SPECIAL PROGRAMMING NOTE: don’t forget: today is Fat Tuesday, aka Paczki Day (improbably pronounced “poonch-key”)!


So savor your custard and jelly filled paczkis as Lent begins tomorrow - which is God’s way of giving you a second chance for your New Year’s resolutions.

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Monday, February 8, 2016

Fundamentally Transforming the Super Bowl

Yes, I watched the Super Bowl start to finish. I had no dog in the fight butt was rooting for the Broncos, against all odds, just because I’d like to see Peyton hang up his cleats before he breaks his neck again. So yay! I’m happy; apologies to all the Panther fans out there.

A few random observations on the annual pre-Mardi Gras American Bacchanalia:

  • I did not see one - not one - commercial worthy of mention. What has happened to America’s creative class? Are all the copywriters members of the disaffected Millennial generation? Most of the spots were supposed to be funny butt fell short, some by an inch others by a mile IMO. Perhaps the 7 years of Obama has sucked every last speck of joy out of life. I don’t know, I’m just asking. And who paid for all those whiny public service announcements? Pretty expensive spots to remind us that we should save evergy, not waste water or drive drunk.
  • The half-time show stunk; nothing new there, butt this year’s was particularily stinky. Coldplay, Bruno Mars and…Bey
  • Behold Lady M’s concept of a great role model for girls, the ever skanky, always slutty Beyonce. This time she also threw in a political statement for good measure: Black Panther formation, Malcolm X tribute and BLM references. You just go girl.


  • On an upbeat note: Lady Gaga delivered an outstanding version of our national anthem. And she was even clothed appropriately, considering we’re talking Lady Gaga. Ignore the red glitter eye shadow. Although with pipes like hers you would think she could just sing without turning herself into a human meat market. Then what do I know about show business?

NOTE: the NFL has apparently decided to block the patriotic part of their show for blogger use, so you’ll need to click YouTube to view.

I’m sure this is just a coincidence butt all 4 Super Bowl halftime performers are FOO (friends of Obama); Coldplay even featured BO singing Amazing Grace on one of their albums.

Bruno Mars (rumored to be gay butt I guess he hasn’t officially come out of the closet) performed with the Won’s at a Fourth of July party.

bruno-mars-flotus-potusKiss, kiss, just like I do with my gay boy

Beyonce has been to the White House almost as frequently as Al Sharpton:


And Lady Gaga performed  there (with Tony Bennett) at the 2013 inaugeral after-party.


I confess, I’ve not always been a Peyton Manning fan, although I don’t even remember why now. Butt I’m glad he and his team won. Sometimes, even if you don’t like the star of the team right upfront, they grow on you over time and one day you wake up and find yourself cheering for them. Maybe it’s because their toughness and tenancity just makes you believe that America can be great again.


Of course I could be wrong; I suppose Bernie and Beyonce could make America great again too.


black power salute beyYou go girls!

Butt nah, I don’t really think so.

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Sunday, February 7, 2016

GOP Debate Open Thread Sunday: Where The Boys Are

Let’s just do an open thread.


Who do you think won last night’s debate?

Did the GOPe take Rubio down? Or was it of his own doing, with a little help from Christie? (“There it is”)

Who is Christie taking lessons from?

christie trump

Was it Jeb!s last stand? (“I could drop my pants,” [Jeb] said in an interview. “Moon the whole crowd. Everybody would be aghast, except the press guys would never notice.”)

Why did ABC leave Dr. Carson behind? Is it because he is black?

Why did ABC leave Carly behind? Is it because she is a woman?

Who invited the anti-Trump fan club?

Who the heck is John Kasick and why does he keep showing up at these debates? (“I ought to be running in a Democrat primary.”)

Did Cruz win by default?cruz

Did I mention Rubio's Stump Speech Automator™  got stuck? (H/T Vodka Pundit)


“And let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

UPDATE: Glori Steinem knows where the girls are; they’re lookin’ for the boys. How Progressive!

Have at it.

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