Saturday, May 1, 2021

I’m Really Sorry That Train Has Left The Station

It takes a special brain to lose it’s train of thought at an Amtrak station.

And Joey’s got one of those special brains. In case you missed it, here’s an exact transcript:

“When I was Vice President with Barack, he allowed me to put together a budget for Amtrak and it had money for high-speed rail at 200 MPH, from…Charlotte, another line going from…in Florida, down to Tampa, another line — if we had moved…we’d have that tunnel fixed in New York now.”

Needless to say, that was a complete train wreck, and there’s no light to be seen at the end of the tunnel in New York.

biden trainHurry up Joey, the train’s leaving the station and you’re not on it.

Can you even imagine being one of Joey’s designated handlers these days?

joeybHello? White House? It’s Joe. How do I get off this train?

How long can they maintain this charade you ask? Well, they’ve been running a variation on this scam for decades now, so who knows? But it didn’t help that Joey himself let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, last week when he told reporters he’d “get in trouble” if he answered any more (unrehearsed, unscripted) questions.

Kind of makes you wonder if maybe we didn’t “accidentally” get on the wrong train doesn’t it?

trump train roaring 20s

Until we can figure out how to get things back on track it might be best to cancel all the trains until further notice.

over-the-tracks-of-a-model-train-and-caption-that-read-all-train-are-delayed-until-further-noticeHappy Caturday

Friday, April 30, 2021

You’ll Never Take Our Potholes!

It’s about control, it’s always been about control.


Business owners, after months of seeking information from the Governor about specific metrics for reopening their businesses and the economy, finally get this:

 Gov. Whitmer unveils plan to tie Michigan vaccination rates to easing COVID-19 rules

Whitmer outlined four steps to gradually ease restrictions:

  • Two weeks after 4.5 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (55% of the eligible population), the state will lift requirements that employers mandate employees work remotely where feasible. 
  • Two weeks after 4.9 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (60% of the eligible population), the state will increase indoor capacity for sporting events, conference centers, banquet halls and other similar facilities to 25%. The state will also increase capacity limits at gyms to 50%, and lift curfews on restaurants and bars. 
  • Two weeks after 5.3 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (65% of the eligible population), the state will lift all indoor capacity restrictions and relax limits on social gatherings. 
  • Two weeks after 5.7 million Michiganders have received their first vaccine dose (70% of the eligible population), the state will rescind the health department's face mask and gathering order and stop issuing similar rules "unless unanticipated circumstances arise." 

The entire plan revolves around people getting the first of two vaccination doses; two of three available vaccines require two injections. However, the total number of initial doses administered dropped more than 75% from April 14 to Monday. 

So while the Gov was begging Joey B’s administration 2 weeks ago to allocate more vaccine to Michigan due to an uptick in cases, the state left 360,000 doses of its federal allotment go unordered, possibly because  the state's director of health and human services, Elizabeth Hertel, was on vacation in Florida (as was Governor Gretchen herself).

“One thing Trish forgot to do before she went on spring break was to order those 360,000 vaccine doses for Michigan, leaving the governor to grovel,” said Ted Goodman, communications director of the Michigan Republican Party. “It's continued hypocrisy within her own circle, with family members and staff openly flaunting the policies that Whitmer has imposed on the rest of Michiganders.”

But don’t worry, everything is now under control because this week we’ve got more shots than we know what to do with and they’re begging people to get vaccinated, you don’t even need an appointment, just show up!

So you see, this is not a plan to re-open, it’s a plan to stay closed as the state will never hit 70%. But we will maintain control of your peanut butter.

calvin-and-hobbes-peanut-butter. control your life gif

By the way, in case anyone is wondering about those damn roads that Governor Whitmer promised to fix:

No, that she hasn’t been able to get control of yet.

You can close our businesses! You can close our beaches! You can close our swimming pools! But you can NEVER close our damn potholes!

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod, Adrift In A Sea of Lies

A summary of Joey’s, you know, the thing, to Congress last night…or whatever:

wynkn blynkn and nodWynken, Blynken, and Nod

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
   Sailed off in a wooden shoe,—
Sailed on a river of crystal light
   Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
   The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring-fish
   That live in this beautiful sea;
   Nets of silver and gold have we,"
            Said Wynken,
            And Nod.

It’s a nursery rhyme, intended to lull you to sleep. Do not fall for it.

final WBN

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
   As they rocked in the wooden shoe;
And the wind that sped them all night long
   Ruffled the waves of dew;

More unity!

As we gather here tonight, the images of a violent mob assaulting this Capitol — desecrating our democracy — remain vivid in our minds. ‘Lives were put at risk. Lives were lost. Extraordinary courage was summoned. ‘The insurrection was an existential crisis — a test of whether our democracy could survive…And, we won’t ignore what our own intelligence agencies have determined – the most lethal terrorist threat to the homeland today is from white supremacist terrorism.”

More infrastructure!

peeled_city_2Plant trees, not pipelines!

The little stars were the herring-fish
   That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish,—
   Never afraid are we!"
   So cried the stars to the fishermen three,
            And Nod.

  Why, it’s a socialist dream! More taxes! More welfare! More sugar!

All night long their nets they threw
   To the stars in the twinkling foam,—
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
   Bringing the fishermen home:
'Twas all so pretty a sail, it seemed
   As if it could not be;
And some folk thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
   Of sailing that beautiful sea;
   But I shall name you the fishermen three:
            And Nod.

More “green”  new deals!


“We have to do more than just build back better. We have to build back better.” – Just Joe, being Joe



Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
   And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
   Is a wee one's trundle-bed;
So shut your eyes while Mother sings
   Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
   As you rock in the misty sea
   Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:—
            And Nod.


We. Are. So. Screwed.


And now, a gratuituous shot at the occupying FLOTUS, Dr. Jilly, at the whatever last night.


She wore a dress by another immigrant designer, Uruguayan-born Gabriela Hearst, which was hand-embroidered with the flowers of all 50 states, Washington, D.C., and every U.S. territory.

The navy dress was a different version of a cream coat and dress designed by Hearst, also embroidered with state and territories’ flowers, that Biden wore on Jan. 20 for celebrations of her husband’s inauguration.

So – unity!

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

A Herd of Annoying Gnats

The natives remain restless. Over at Simon and Schuster a strident minority of the firm’s 1500+ employees have demanded – DEMANDED! – that the publishing house reject and/or cancel any book deals with former Trump administration people.

If you consider it preemptive book burning it all makes sense.

3books burning

And it is certainly in line with the Left’s new cancellation policy of anyone who has not accepted their chosen leaders as infallible and their drivel as gospel.

bo the lightbringerFor behold: I bring the light!

Over at Forbes they are willing and able to go one step further

Funny, we never heard a peep about Obama/Hillary/Biden “fabulists” – even the ones who were actual fabulists by trade before going into politics for the money: The Aspiring Novelist Who Became Obama’s Foreign-Policy Guru.

I leave it to you to figure out where this train is headed.

china squealing on neighbors write it down

I need to go take some more Benadryl as my eyes are swollen half-shut from a barrage of bug bites I got yesterday while doing some outdoor painting. There’s nothing you can do anymore that doesn’t attract a herd of annoying little gnats.

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

Taco and Tamale Tuesday: No Comas la Cáscara

Wow, it’s such a big news day I don’t know where to start.

Shall we discuss the the Super-Pink-Moon that’s not really pink?

The Risen Moon, 1926, Frederick Judd WaughThe Risen Moon, 1926, Frederick Judd Waugh

Or Super- Taco-and-Tamale-Tuesday?

Spanglish carne asada tacosCarne Asada Tacos from Spanglish

Or perhaps Super-Unbelievable-Headlines from around the Web:

Sort of makes you wonder where all those people who supposably voted for Joey and Kami are hiding out…aside from the obvious.

cemetery graveyard-fresh-white-snowdrop-galanthus

I think I’ll stick with Taco and Tamale Tuesday – that’s a lot simpler.

tamales spanglish

Although not as simple as it once was.  *sigh*

No comas la cáscara!

Monday, April 26, 2021

BLM, the Oscar Edition. Brought To You By Woke Sponsors.

I know you don’t care, but I’m sharing because you should.

Those of you who predicted the Oscar wins would be peppered with wins by Asians and Blacks…take a bow, it wasn’t a sweep (old ways die hard) but still impressive by Hollywood’s hypocritical standards.

oscarsfencewalls1-640x335Speaking of hypocritical: check out the walls build around Union Station to keep the “stars” safe

Honestly, pop culture is so predictable even a caveman could do it.

Wait – isn’t this…racist?

Best Supporting Actor went to Daniel Kaluuya (Judas and the Black Messiah),

daniel kuluuya

and Youn Yuh-jung (Minari) won Best Supporting Actress.

 yuh-jung youn brad pitt 'minari'Shown here with her Oscar and has-been white actor Brad Pitt

Chloé Zhao, the China-born director of Nomadland who became just the second woman to win best director, and the first woman of color. Boy, I can’t keep up, one day Asians don’t count as POC, the next day they do. Which is it? Maybe Harvard will weigh in.

chloe Zhao

Disappointingly, the top Actress and Actor awards went respectively to Frances McDormand (Nomadland), old white actress, and Anthony Hopkins (The Father), old,white actor  – instead of Viola Davis

violaViola (Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom)

and Chadwick Boseman (also Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom) – who everyone assumed was a shoe-in, having the misfortune of having passed away from cancer last summer. If only he’d had the better fortune of dying of Covid instead we could have filed another chapter in the history book of that could be dragged out every Black History Month.

chadwick Boseman 'ma rainey's black bottom'Chadwick (RIP)

Whereas everyone expected Chadwick to take the top honor they switched up the award order which usually ends with the announcement of Best Picture and instead awarded that prize before Best Actress and Actor, to provide an emotional end note to the ceremony. Since Anthony Hopkins won (unexpectedly - not that he was undeserving!) and was not present to accept, the presenter, Joaquin Phoenix, was left awkwardly holding the bag, or Oscar, as it were. Wags have noted it was the worst ending since The Sopranos fade-to-black finale.

Oh, I don’t know…

fade to black

seems a perfectly fitting end to this charade to me. Followed by a word from all your woke sponsors; Nike, Coke, et al.


corp adverts

Sunday, April 25, 2021

The Cone Of Silence Falls On the Oscars

The Oscars Award Ceremony is being broadcast tonight, and the show’s producers promise it will be a live, no Zooming allowed, spectacular.

The producers said that the show will also highlight the impact of COVID-19 and that masks will "play a very important role" in the story of the ceremony, though it is not yet clear what that means from a practical perspective. "If that's cryptic, it's meant to be," said Soderbergh. "But that topic is very central to the narrative."

Let’s face it, masks have always had an important role in Hollywood, where everything is allusion. Still tonight’s show sounds like it has a certain Calvinball vibe going: where you make up the rules as you go along and nobody’s allowed to question them.


Being a Hollywood culture outsider I haven’t even heard of any of the movies nominated by industry insiders let alone seen them. I’m unfamiliar with most of the actors/films nominated and that renders my opinion on the subject null and void. Oddly though, the know-nothing Hollywood insiders expect us to accept their ignorant notions on everything from global warming to Covid 19.

right to remain ignorant

Add to the above issues the fact that the Oscar Best Picture/Actress/Actor “election” is as crooked and rigged as last year’s Presidential election and you have the perfect excuse for why tonight’s show will experience the lowest ratings in their history. Nevertheless, the show must go on!

Just be aware that there are certain things that normally the enlightened glitterati of Hollywood would have spent hours opining on - had the election not been stolen from Donald J. Trump – that will fall within the Cone of Silence this year.

Specifically, Seven Causes You Won’t Hear Championed At the Oscars:

Kids in Cages

Celebrities railed against President Trump for four straight years. One of their loudest rallying cries against Trump? His immigration policies resulted in immigrant children being forced to stay in jail-like conditions. Or, to use their vernacular, “kids in cages.”


Chinese Censorship

Hollywood has one answer whenever Chinese officials tell the industry what to do, say or create. “Thank you, sir, may I have another?”

Concentration Camps

There’s another China-based problem lurking around this weekend’s Oscar ceremony. The Chinese government is currently operating concentration camps against a persecuted minority.


Big Tech Censorship

There’s no doubt that social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Twitter discriminate against conservatives. Those fears went from conspiracy talk to cold, hard realities over the past six months, extending even into the comedy space.


Blacklist 2.0

It’s the worst kept secret in Hollywood … besides Scott Rudin’s anger management issues. The industry actively discriminates against conservative talent. It’s undeniable, and a frightening echo from the McCarthy Era.


Businesses Crushed by Riots

We’ve endured nearly a year of protests that destroyed countless businesses across the country. Coffee shops. Book stores. You name it, it’s been damaged beyond repair by “mostly peaceful” protests.


Businesses Crushed by COVID-19 Restrictions:

When everyday Americans revolted, some of Hollywood’s biggest stars mocked their complaints.

There’s little chance stars will use their Oscar bully pulpit to demand states reassess the science and open their cities up for business.

And thus the hammer of silence descends on the Oscars.