Saturday, December 8, 2018

Absolutely Nothing.

Nancy Pelosi finally spilled the liberal beans on borders, and she did so as articulately as ever: 

She knows that we -- most of us, speaking for myself, consider the wall immoral, ineffective and expensive. And the president said he promised it. He also promised Mexico would pay for it. So even if they did, it's immoral still, and then they're not going to pay for it. – Nancy Pelosi, December 6, 2918

Aside from the fact that an inanimate object cannot be moral or immoral there is a much larger message in her seemingly off-the-cuff comment: the liberal Democrats are now officially in favor of open borders.

No-Borders-No-Flags-No-Nations-No-PatriotsDemocrats: Now the Official Party of NO

Nancy and her team have determined that enforcing borders is immoral (because they say so), ineffective (they will see to it) and too darned expensive (again, they will see to it). From this point hence our political and spiritual leaders will determine which of our laws duly passed by the legislature are moral and therefore shall be enforced, which are ineffective and therefore shall no longer be enforced, and which they deem too expensive to continue enforcing. That is the current attitude of the ruling class in general, and the Democratic ruling class in particular. It seems an odd position for a party that claims to hate fascism (in others).


And in regards to the Mueller “Memos” – I fail to see the point. Change my mind.


Friday, December 7, 2018

FLOTUS Friday: Remembrance Edition

FLOTUS and President Trump, represented us well this week:

First at the Capital Rotunda where George H. W. Bush was lying in state:


Later at the state funeral held at the National Cathedral where politics were mostly set aside and the Bushes, Trumps and Obamas all graciously came together to honor George H. W. Bush’s life:


Apparently there was not quite enough graciousness to go around:

hillary_melaniaWhat is it with those crazy eyes?

Then again last night, as POTUS and FLOTUS hosted the annual White House Hanukkah celebration


where Holocaust survivors were honored and Jewish supporters of the President led a “four more years!” chant - which prompted the President to respond that he hoped it would be six. So do we.

Melania_Trump_WH_Reception_3Some women carry the off-the-shoulder profile better than others; don’t make me mention names

Because America will always have enemies.

pearl harbor

And it is nice to know with certainty that our President isn’t one of them.

Thursday, December 6, 2018

So Long President George H. W. Bush, And Thanks For All the Broccoli

As our 41st President, George H. W. Bush, is laid to his final rest today let it be noted that his hatred of broccoli will not die with him:broccoli try new things

“The man couldn't stomach vegetables, especially broccoli. And by the way, he passed these genetic defects along to us.” - George W. Bush, eulogy of his father George H. W. Bush

Indeed, GHWB’s deep-seated hatred goes way back, as reported in the NYT in 1990:

President Bush declared today that he never, ever, wants to see another sprig of broccoli on his plate, whether he is on Air Force One or at the White House or anywhere else in the land.

''I do not like broccoli,'' the President said, responding to queries about a broccoli ban he has imposed aboard Air Force One, first reported this week in U.S. News and World Report. ''And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli!'' –

41 was the last president, until Donald Trump came along, the media excoriated for his dietary habits:

His diet is similar to a teen-ager's, filled with cholesterol-laden goodies. ''Junk food is his lifestyle.''…

The sort of food the President loves can be procured at baseball games, fast-food joints or 7-Elevens: beef jerky, nachos, tacos, guacamole, chile, refried beans, hamburgers, hot dogs, barbecued ribs, candy, popcorn, ice cream and cake.

Even when he eats something healthy, like yogurt or oat bran, he tries to spice it up with Butterfingers or something else to give it a little zip. – NYT, on President Bush, 1990

In other words, he was an everyman.

But the times they were a’changing and broccoli’s fate floated along on their updraft: by 2008 not only was broccoli once again being mandatorily served in the White House, but it was growing wild in Lady M’s Garden of Good and Evil.

mm broccoli

From vegetabilis terribilus to vegetabilis mirabilis in less than one generation.

broccoli bird

Fortunately for the country, and the world, America did not see fit to seat back-to-back broccoli-loving administrations:

hillary-clinton-wanted-broccoli-in-the-white-hous-1-15152-1373402845-24_bigAmerica votes NO

That’s why we elected President Donald J. Trump - who is rumored to share the same veggie hating gene as Bush Sr. and Jr.; so who knows, maybe the two clans are somehow related.

intricate broccoli

All I know is that the Chinese are currently working on hacking the intersectionality of the broccoli-hating genetic code and Making America Great Again.

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Note To Big Tuna: Try Harder

I read yesterday that Big Tuna is blaming millennials for a downturn in canned tuna sales (The Trouble With Tuna: ‘A Lot of Millennials Don’t Even Own Can Openers’).

Now I’ve found fault with millennials in the past for all sorts of things - mostly related to their willful lack of critical thinking skills and their mindless adoption of looney leftist dogma that they’ve been spoon fed and indoctrinated in since inception – but even I am unwilling to blame them for the demise of canned tuna.

If it’s true that millennials don’t own can openers we could be dealing with a hardware problem rather than a software issue. However I see elsewhere that people are suggesting it may have more to do with millennials being concerned with dolphins getting trapped in tuna nets, or a health concern about mercury poisoning in ocean fish. Or possibly because they’re “a generation that cares about the environment and struggles with the level of tuna overfishing.” Except even the author of that excuse concedes that millennials are likewise the generation that made Ahi poke bowls mega-popular, so maybe not that (last) one.” Actually, the ahi poke bowls phenom negates all the other excuses so it looks like we’re back to the can opener as the culprit - a diagnosis that seems to be supported by evidence of increasing sales of fresh and frozen fish. So presumably millennial households have cooking utensils, but their ‘paraphernalia’ doesn’t extend to a basic device to open a can. I would hate to see what’s in their bug-out bags.

Anyway, I’m still not sure I buy the can opener excuse.

tuna cans

Considering a partial list of other things millennials have killed:


Everything from soup to nuts…and mayonnaise. I think this mystery is a bit more complex. I don’t know how we can expect millennials to eat canned tuna without cream of mushroom soup to turn it into a tasty casserole, or without mayonnaise to transform it into sandwich ambrosia. Having already killed such staples tuna just looks, smells and tastes like expensive cat food.

So back to you, Big Tuna. Try harder.


Millennials appreciate it when you cater to them.

Tuesday, December 4, 2018

“When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be There Overnight”

Wait, what?

The U.S. Postal Service announced on Monday that it will suspend most of its services on Wednesday in honor of the late former President, George H.W. Bush. 

I wonder if anybody has informed Amazon that their contract with the USPS is suspended for one day in the middle of their busiest month? And what ever happened to “neither rain, nor sleet nor snow nor gloom of night stays these carriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds” ?


I know, I know: President George H. W. Bush passed away age 94, but seriously? They’re shutting down the post office - In December – in his honor? It’s not like it’s John Kasich for goodness sake.


I suppose this is President Trump’s fault for issuing a proclamation of a national day of mourning. I’m guessing he thought they’d just lower the flags to half staff and carry on. Oh well, I suppose it’s good practice for later this month when we have to close the rest of the government down in order to secure funding for the wall.

In the meanwhile, everyone hold on: it’s only for one day. And odds are good if you’re shipping something that “absolutely, positively has to be there overnight” you aren’t using the USPS anyway.

usps fedex ups

Monday, December 3, 2018

The Storm Is Coming: Don’t Forget Your Mukluks


Be strong Paris, Michelle Obama has cancelled her visit to the city of light.

Former first lady Michelle Obama announced Sunday she would skip two upcoming European stops on her book tour to attend the funeral service for former President George H.W. Bush.

Screen Capture #359

It’s a pity she won’t be there to experience first hand the the rioting taking place in Paris against the policies of Emmanuel Macron, aka “the French Obama.”


I feel confident the people of Paris will forgive her for taking a pass. Now if she were cancelling her appearances back home, where her groupies are strong, that would be a different story.

michelle obama says shit

At home she is a venerable icon and her fans get excited about she speaks truth to power like this:

Former First Lady Michelle Obama caused a stir during her arena book tour on Saturday when she said that marriage inequality can’t be solved by women ‘leaning in’ because ‘that s*** doesn’t work all the time.’

Gee, it seems like only yesterday when “marriage inequality” referred to gays right to marry; now I guess it means, well, I have no clue. That’s why I’m just a blogger and the Fabulous Lady M is a multi-millionaire “author” charging up to $4000 for a signed copy of her book about Becoming…rich.

Having read her thesis on race I can assure you that while she may have “written” her own “moving memoir” the real credit belongs to an unsung, hard working editor behind the scenes who made it comprehensible.

But hey, it’s the Christmas season! What do you say we have a bit of fun and get back to our roots? And by that I mean commenting on Lady M’s wardrobe. The whole ensemble screamed “Come to the Cabaret”


…but the shoes! Is that a statement pair of Jimmie Choos or what?  The on-trend ankle boots featured “a caged silhouette.”


I must say, I appreciate the motif.

lock her up

She might want to get a pair of mukluks though, the storm is coming.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

Time For a Festive Nervous Breakdown

Last year when two thirds of my Christmas tree lights failed to light I decided to replace all of them rather than get a new tree. Not in order to save the earth but because I liked the size and shape of the 8 year old tree that was otherwise in very good condition.

Buy LEDs they said, they’ll never burn out they said. So I opted for the micro LED lights, aka “rice” lights because I liked the way they twinkled at me in the store. And, as they said, they’ll never burn out.  Right. This is me, this year; replacing last year’s LED warm white rice lights (made in China) with new LED warm white rice lights, also made in China because I dare you to find any that aren’t.


In the picture, I’m three quarters of the way through replacing the middle section. I don’t have a picture of the complete fail because I was so upset (read PO’d) that taking a picture was the last thing on my mind.

Let the record reflect that the pre-strung tree’s original lights lasted 8 – yes, 8 – years.  Mind you, these new little buggers are nowhere near as easy to install (and uninstall) as the originals. First of all you need a lot more of them because they’re much smaller and have 3 times as much wire that must be wound (repeatedly) around the branches unless for some reason you like the look of unruly wires sticking out everywhere. That of course means there’s 3 times as much wire that needs to be unwound in the event that your LEDs malfunction (because they never burn out, they simply fail to work). Raj took pity and unwound the entire offending section of 1000 lights, lest I suffer a complete nervous breakdown.

02-C4-Protein-schizophrenia brain mapThis is your brain on malfunctioning Christmas lights. Also seen in the brains of schizophrenics.

Now when I say you need more lights, I mean you need a lot more lights. My skinny 7’ tree originally had 500 lights and was quite festively illuminated. Now it has 2500. Yes, you read that correctly, 2500. I had foolishly assumed that I could replace 500 lights with approximately the same number. Ha! It took 500 just for the  small top section – which can be seen sitting on the floor off to the right while I restring, for the second year in a row, the derelict middle section.

mini lightsMini-lights v micro “rice” lights – warning, your tree will be hungry again an hour later

I guess all’s well that ends well but if you decide to restring your Christmas tree with new lights this year just know what you’re getting yourself into. The rice lights have their charms but they are neither easy to install nor failsafe. I blame the Chinese.

20181129_142524Fully relit and ready for the ornaments

Meanwhile, contrary to all the received wisdom of the modern free press, I see that VSGPDJT has reached an agreement with China’s President Xi to suspend planned tariff increases and open up markets while final negotiations on a trade deal take place. Just like with the Mexico/Canada anti-NAFTA deal, our esteemed betters in the media and Washington were wrong. Again.

Anyway, I think I’ll send a letter to President Trump asking him to make President Xi promise to stop selling us crappy Christmas lights that are clearly intended to drive us crazy so they can take over the world.

light breakdown