Saturday, January 1, 2011

Talent We Can Believe In

bojon Talent we can BELIEVE in

A news release from part-time Big White spokesman Bill Burton:

Tonight, the President will be spending time with family and friends and later they will have the annual New Year's Eve Talent Show.

Yes, the First Family staged their traditional New Year’s Eve talent show last night.

The Associated Press reports that "the White House is keeping Obama's talent a closely guarded secret. Several friends and family members will join the Obamas at their rented oceanfront home in Kailua.

“Closely guarded secret,” Heh. Those guys at AP! What a sense of humor.

Butt as the WSJ reports:

President Barack Obama and his family will celebrate New Year’s Eve in Hawaii with a low-key tradition: A family talent show.

White House spokesman Bill Burton wouldn’t say what talents might be on display. But a Time magazine story from 2009 said First Lady Michelle Obama is known for her hula-hooping skills and her husband is known to croon among friends.

Wow! Hula-hooping. In Honolulu. File that one in the “you can’t make this stuff up” category. Also in that file: one of the books on Big Guy’s vacay reading list: Our Kind of Traitor by John Le Carré.

Butt back to the talent show:remember, this was a competition, not  an exhibition. Because the Wons like to win. Which they did - in all categories, so I’ll just mention a couple of the categories that they took the honors in.

Hulu.

Seriously. This was a no-brainer:

Likewise, the “Dress Like a Fashion Icon” competition:

washington organic mrkt

A few of our favorite iconic ensembles:

 shorts michellefeeling the love ribbonsrufflesandlace4 

Big Guy, in addition to “crooning” and “teleprompter reading”, was the hands down winner in the “Impersonation” competition:

Bo consecrates a host led disc Impersonating a priest…

first pitch nationals

a big league pitcher

FireShot-_1 impersonating the guy in front of you (2 entries) obama-bush1

 FireShot-_9 Big Guy’s impersonation of a camera lens…

FireShot-_2

and the Abominable Snow Monster

and of course…

FireShot-_3 POTUS (Bill Clinton was the runner up in this category)

Gibbsy took runner up in the Darth Vader impersonator running…

gibbs and starwars son RobertGibbs 

and Joey B took runner-up in the “spelling 3-letter words with 4 letters” competition.

joe_biden Happy 2010, er, 11!

It was a very fun-filled year, wasn’t it?

Happy New Year to one and all!

And here’s a little New Year’s gift for you from one of my new facebook friends (thanks JM!): embargoed pictures! They’re a little fuzzy, butt you can see our lovely halter bibb frock. And the dazzling bracelet of a a thousand bands.

What a scoop! Don’t tell Lady M you saw these, OK?

168659_485859869478_632334478_5742221_7423941_n This is so Wong

163614_485865949478_632334478_5742281_5310660_n

Butt Wong Can Cook!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Triangulation, Trifecta and a Trio of Appetizers

Here’s the thing about vacationing on Hawaii: there just isn’t much to report. Especially with the photo embargo in place.

So here’s the run down: still no pictures allowed (or purloined) from our dinner at Wong’s, butt we do have the menu, thanks to our local paper:

foie grasDecadence: It’s what we do around here

Born and raised in Hawaii, Obama has adventurous tastes, says Wong, and always orders the multicourse chef's menu.  Michelle, who usually eats lighter, joined him last night.  On the menu:

  • A trio of appetizers: Wong's seafood cake, a tomato with li hing mui dressing and Wong's famous "soup and sandwich," a two-color Big Island tomato soup and foie gras grilled cheese sandwich. (!!)
  • Lobster lasagna
  • Ginger-crusted onaga
  • The President's favorite entree, soy-braised shortribs.
  • And his favorite dessert, "The Coconut," coconut ice cream covered with dark chocolate, in a shape that looks exactly like half a coconut, served with a colorful array of tropical fruits

“who usually eats lighter?”  If by “lighter” you mean “heavy weight”

wwf belt Sporting our WWF belt, earned fair by eating our share

All I’m willing to say is that she’s a member in good standing of the clean plate club. Butt kudos to our Propaganda Czar: nice try.

And speaking of Czars, hoo-boy! Have they been busy in Big Guy’s absence! What we can’t legislate, we can regulate. YES WE CAN!

Of course the whole concept of ruling by regulation began a while back, when our EPA seized control  responsibility for the planet’s health and well-being.  Can’t pass Cap and Trade?  no problem: your EPA can! Trouble getting Congress to buy into Death Panels? That’s what Medicare regulations are for! Net Neutrality a little hard to swallow? That’s why we have the FCC’s regulatory arm!

Charles Krauthammer calls it a “trifecta,” in a column even the Washington Post headline writer called “Governing By Regulation. Shhhh.” Not quite as surprising,  Big Government’s Robert Allen Bonelli called it Using Regulation Against the Will of the People:

Written into the Declaration of Independence is a simple imperative, “Governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.” Our nation was built on this concept, but the Obama administration is using its power to write regulation to circumvent the will of the people and advance its own agenda.

Sheeze, talk about a nay-sayer. Obviously a member of the Party of NO-O.

OTeamfall2010copy_thumb10 Rest well, little people: Your O-team is on the march

Any hoo – back to Lady M: our local journalist also reported on her healthy, hungry-free feeding program headquartered right in our own Big White garden:

Michelle Obama, interested in healthy and natural foods, raises bees at the White House and makes her own honey.  She's gifted Wong with a supply of White House honey.

So rest easy. Your Big White team, what’s left of our Congressional take-over-specialists and our specially appointed team of Czars will be back in session and as busy as Lady M’s bees.

SIDE NOTE: The issue of Lady M “making her own honey” was fully vetted by my loyal MOLs, MODs MYLs and FOMs in the comment on yesterdays post, so I will not need to address it here.

The New Year presents yet another golden opportunity for TRANSFORMATION. So batten the hatches, because the storm front continues along the horizon. For now.

morton salt girl

Oh yeah, and since the sun finally came out yesterday, we spent the day at a friend’s beachfront luxury estate home: Barbeque, eating (lighter), drinking and playing volley ball. Blah, blah, blah.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

A late START to our 7 days of Kwanzaa

12 days of Christmas – 17 for Lady M – butt who’s counting? We’ve decided to extend our no-photos-of-Lady M-until-she-feels-like-it vacation. Return date now set for January 4, butt stay tuned for further updates. We are considering the possibility of re-locating the Big White to the Big Island, where the climate is better.

We did go out to dinner last night, butt until someone tracks down the lady with the iPhone, it will be photo free. Except for Big Guy - who loves to have his picture taken to prove he’s still relevant. So here’s BO, coming out of Wongs last night, and here’s a file copy of Lady M, coming out of Wongs last year. With Big Guy, you can’t really tell. He always wears blue/tan/brown. Butt Lady M? She just looks younger every year, and always dons a new frock. Sorry I can’t show you this year’s, it was a doozy.

wongs x610

Anyway, there’s no truth to the rumor we’re staying here longer to have a little additional “work” done. While it’s true we used up all of our cosmetic surgery allowance under our very generous Congressional Health Care benefit plan (Thanks Nancy!), we don’t have anything scheduled to take advantage of our 2011 benefits until we get back to D.C.

The real reason we’re extending our stay is simply because Big Guy got a late START on his vacation due to a very busy year-end schedule. So he wants to stay and thoroughly enjoy all 7 days of the African-American winter holiday known as Kwanzaa.

I apologize for not mentioning this at the time, butt we kicked this special season off on December 26 and will be in high celebration mode right through January 1. It’s the most high holy season of, ah; well, maybe Van Helsing is best qualified to explain it’s significance, via Doug Ross:

Yesterday Comrade Obama and the Bitter Half treated the nation to this uplifting Kwanzaa greeting:

"Michelle and I extend our warmest thoughts and wishes to all those who are celebrating Kwanzaa this holiday season. Today is the first of a joyful seven-day celebration of African-American culture and heritage. The seven principles of Kwanzaa — Unity, Self-Determination, Collective Work and Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity and Faith — are some of the very values that make us Americans." 

Now, had Van Helsing stopped there, without the additional editorializing, everything would have been fine. Butt no-oooo!

“Actually, these are the values that would make you not American, but Symbionese. They are the same concepts symbolized by the seven deadly cobras in the flag of the socialist Symbionese Liberation Army

patty-hearst.jpg

I think he’s exaggerating, but consider the 7 principals and decide for yourself:

UNITY:

Beer%20summit%20oneBeer summits; to bring us together after someone acts stupidly

SELF DETERMINATION: Except when it comes to what to feed your kids,

brocolli2 French%20Fries%20Clip%20Art 

Eat this, not that. Because I said so.

what kind of healthcare to buy for your family, or what kind of light bulb to buy.

COMPACT Screw It

COLLECTIVE WORK AND RESPONSIBILITY:

russian worker & collective farm woman copyFamous Russian worker and Collective Farm worker statue

seriously, do we have anything besides sweet potatoes Lady M, organizing her own Big White collective farm workers

COOPERATIVE ECONOMICS:

Big Guy discusses trickle up economics with Joe the Plumber Joe%20the%20Plumber

"My attitude is that if the economy's good for folks from the bottom up, it's gonna be good for everybody. I think when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

 

PURPOSE:change-hitler-obama-lenin

Transforming America via a Fabian socialist agenda, as explained by Friedrich Hayek. And Dr. Michael Savage:

Or even by Glenn Beck  - a bit late to the game, but obviously a student of Dr. Savage.

And don’t get your panties in a bunch, I’m not talking about him:

fabian-crop

CREATIVITY: Economic Stimulus via Government Spending,

ARRASignAssembly(Sm)How’s that stimulus working out for you?

and unemployment payments: "It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name."

miss america Miss America? Me too.

and lastly, FAITH:

Bringing America’s chickens home to roost, one sermon at a time.

obama_wright

 

So don’t forget to light your Kinara in the spirit of umoja this festive holiday season. And let’s get this party started!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Breathing Lessons

Thank goodness. We’re finally going to get to the bottom of this dumb birther controversy: our new Hawaiian Governor is calling for the release of Big Guy’s real birth certificate. As opposed to the fake birth certificate that was released previously, and has caused so much controversy regarding the veracity of BO’s existence.

As our own cub-reporter MaryOhSoContrary astutely reported yesterday:

So either the HI Department of Vital Stats (and Tattoo Parlor) found an old IBM Selectric to churn out the 'original' (wink, wink) form OR...some nefarious type (an Assange clone?) is ready to 'drop' the dirt (after three long years).  

There’s really noting to worry about though. If we didn’t have this one nailed 10 ways to Tuesday, there would be no discussion about putting the controversy to rest. So rest easy, the spooks have been busy (and pleeze! that’s as in “Spies and Spooks,” you haters out there).

I know there’s been a pretty close lockdown on photos for this trip, butt I still have to be on guard at all times in case someone smuggles an iPhone into our cloister. So far we’ve done pretty well. Just the usual golf shots and shave ice shots that might as well have been from last year:

  232x326 golfing

 

 

 

 

 

 

real men wear saddle shoes;

and eat rainbow colored shave ice

fc4376dc-e014-4a6d-a608-fecf26b9eb78 

I will confess, I was sweating the snorkel outing, especially after the previous year’s disaster with the long lens - for which I’ll never be forgiven.

article-1100584-02DFEFB3000005DC-585_233x423

 

 

Lady M contemplating the nutritional value of a potato chip, and calculating the psi requirements for her new containment system

 

 

 

 

 

The official reason for the embargoing of photos from the snorkel trip was to prevent any more beefcake bare-chested pics of Big Guy. Rumors about BO wasting away and/or growing flabby are just silly  (are you kidding? With all that b-ball?). The real reason is we don’t want to start up any new competition with our little Ruskie friend. Especially not after we just raised detente to a new level with the passage of the Disarm America First act.

Seriously, how do you compete with this anyway?

santa_bo-beach_copy[2]

 

   puttie         putie                                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

putin_hunting

Pathetic, really.

I do have one picture of Big Guy practicing his snorkeling back in Washington before we left for our alleged birth state. If ever there was a place where knowing how to breathe when you’re in over your head would be useful, D. C. would be that place.

bo snorkeling underwater copy

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone

What is this? The Wons leave town for a well deserved vacation, and all of a sudden it’s declared open season?

Check out the following exhibits, and let me know if you don’t smell another vast right-wing conspiracy.

From the NY Post, exhibit 1:

By contrast, Obama is a displaced person adopted by the far cruder Chicago machine, which turned his superficial charm and his palpable animus against the American ideal into a winning combination in the perfect storm 2008 election.

osavior

  Bathed in the light of…the cameras, as it turns out 

and exhibit 2:

“More important, it's unclear that Obama has it in him to compromise and pretend to like it. No one could fake sincerity like Clinton, but Obama is a far different sort of political animal. His tax-deal press conference was a remarkable glimpse behind the Wizard of Oz curtain

look behind the curtain copy

at a scowling man who believes his political opponents are "hostage-takers" and enemies -- not just of the people, but of him personally.”

 obamas-secret-message-for-f

op.cit exhibit 3:

“Still, unless Obama undergoes a vast personal metamorphosis,

aint no flies on me Get this damn fly off me!

it probably won't work. He's too inexperienced a politician and too starchy a man. He himself has said he'd rather be a good one-term president than a failed two-term president, but the way things are going, he may end up having it both ways, minus the ‘good.’"

Bo has left the buildingBig Guy has left the building

Even Lady M seems to have been caught in the cross hairs. Our very own pollster is piling on. Look how he treated Lady M in his Gallup Poll Most admired Man and Woman: (h/t pwitter)

  1. Hillary Clinton
  2. Sarah Palin
  3. Oprah Winfrey
  4. Michelle Obama
  5. Condoleeza Rice

Lady M came in 4th!!!! Behind Hillary!!? Sarah!!!? and Oprah!!!!!  Well OK, maybe I can see Hillary and Oprah, butt really: does anyone think that skinny Sarah is big enough for anyone to stand behind, let alone Lady M?

 sar_palin mos shells   

and just ahead of Condoleezza? Condoleezza???????? 

CONDI-1b.jpg copy neo-mo copy 

You can not be serious! Not even the same league!

And even our European fan club seems to be waning a bit.

"Barack Obama was the biggest loser of 2010. He allowed the angry Tea Party movement to grow powerful, he did not pass any decent laws despite his majority in Congress and he was aloof, elitist and indecisive. He had to accept a formidable, yet entirely understandable, defeat in the midterm elections as a result. No one expected much from Obama, at least not during the rest of this year."

bos bccdI’ve only got this much left

Ditto the Asian chapter of the fan club: (h/t Michelle Independent)

“Even the Bush Administration’s harshest critics could never have credibly claimed that George W. Bush was irrelevant. He might have been hated, pilloried and shouted about– but he couldn’t be ignored. However Obama can be safely ignored. Invited to parties, given the chance to show off his cosmopolitan sophisticated by reciting one or two words in the local lingo, read off a teleprompter, along with some cant about the need for everyone to pull together and make the world a better place, and then dismissed for the rest of the evening.”

 

kim yook-ok Just allow me get you posed properly, Mr. President

“As a world leader, he makes a passable party guest. He has a broad smile, brings along his own gifts and is famous in the way that celebrities, rather than prime ministers and presidents are famous. On an invitation list, he is more Bono than Sarkozy, Leonardo DiCaprio not Putin. You don’t invite him to talk turkey, not even on Thanksgiving. He’s just one of those famous people with a passing interest in politics who gets good media attention, but who has nothing worthwhile to say.”

obama-view …which is why he’s on The View

HOLY CRAP!  I think they’re on to us now, Batman.

                               obama_surprised_cropped

george-soros 

 

 

“Worst G** damn investment I ever made!”

 

 

 

 

610xMmm, mmm, mmm! 

At least some people still thing we’re the greatest.