Question of the Year: How are Lady M and MOTUS exactly alike?

We’re both a “FABULOUS 50”!!!

Technically Lady M won’t be 50 until January 17th, butt she is already totally fabulous, no?

That’s right, for the 5th year in a row, Doug Ross has honored my little blog with a “Fabulous 50 Blog Award.” What? You don’t know what a “Fabulous 50 Blog Award” is? Do you live in a cave? Like Manhattan, DC or LA maybe? I’ll let Doug describe it:

“...the 2013 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards, (are) the most prestigious new media awards in the conservative blogosphere.

Or, at the very least, in the 993 area code.

These awards recognize a variety of blogs and websites operating in the conservative hemisphere of the Internet, all of which have worked tirelessly to promote conservatism, free market capitalism, fiscal sanity, the sovereignty of the individual, and otherwise protect America from the cockroach-like Statists -- some in very unique ways.”

“Some in very unique ways”??? I’m not sure what that means or who he’s talking about, butt the rest is so me!!!

Lady M is also really excited because my little blog won the award in the category “Best First Lady Blog”

and she thinks that she shares the award with me. While she’s not normally big on sharing, she is perfectly willing to cheese in on any fame or award that comes her way.

A word of advice though:

Don’t show up wearing the same outfit!

I guess she is right: there’s no way I could do this without her and Big Guy, so I guess they do share in the acclaim. Butt the real co-winners of the “Fabulous 50 Blog Award.” are you, my loyal MOLs, MODs, MYLs, MYDs and FOMs, because without you and your encouraging words and feedback, I would just hide in the corner of my bunker with Raj, Little Mo, Little Bo, Sunny and TOTUS and weep until this nightmare is over.

And while all of the Fab 50 are winners, some of them you know pretty darn well. Like Gerard’s American Digest, Fausta’s Blog, Keith Koffler’s White House Dossier, The People’s Cube (where I am loyal member of Party and Gulogoshpere), Sondrakistan, iOwnTheWorld, NewsBusters, Stilton’s HopeNChange Cartoons, Weasel Zippers, my lawyer, Prof. Jacobson’s Legal Insurrection (note to self: we must do lunch soon to review the status of my supremacy clause action against Laura Ingraham as I’m concerned about the statute of limitations running out) and too many more to name here. Just go to Doug’s site, Doug Ross @ Journal, and visit every one of the winner’s blogs. You’ll love them all, because, well, they’re the best!  And if you don’t already, please put Doug’s website in your power rotation of daily reads: it’s simply the best.

So, without further adieu, let me just say, to Doug and everybody,

!!!Thank You!!!

Let the New Year begin!

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone – and as Sergeant Phil Esterhaus would say: “Hey…

Linked By: Abby L Call, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

A&E, The NYT and the DNC Bring You “REHAB ADDICT: The Hillary Addition”

It’s always nice to be validated, so I was pleased to read Roger Kimball’s column yesterday, Benghazi: The New York Times vs. the Truth. (Completely off-topic, butt does anybody know if they ever caught that one-armed man?) He concurs with my theory that Hilz is this season’s rehab project.

“How are we to understand the Times’s latest entry into the contest to rewrite history for ideological fun and profit? My own sense is that it has less to do with salvaging President Obama’s tattered reputation — he is well on his way to winning the prize for the least competent and most destructive president in the history of the republic. No, Barack Obama is yesterday’s news, and unless and until he is impeached and removed from office he will be pretty much forgotten by purveyors of all the Newspeak fit to print. They have their eyes on another player in the Benghazi scandal, namely Hilary Clinton. If anyone emerged from that shameful episode more discredited than Barack Obama, it was Ms. Clinton. But time is passing fast, and there is a lot of remedial work to do if Hilary Clinton is to be suitably repackaged as the Democratic candidate for president. That ambition, I believe, stands behind this elaborate, breathtaking exercise in journalistic mendacity.”

That’s right; he said it! “Mendacity.” Roger has quite a history of using inflammatory words like that. For example, in his column on the Duck Dynasty kerfuffle - The PC Lynching of Phil Robertson – he uses the f-word (fascistic).

It is also a singular example of how political correctness, via cultural relativism, is used to undermine democracy and freedom of speech and is, at its core, fascistic. (snip) PC and cultural relativism are the godchildren of Martin Heidegger and Michel Foucault, the philosopher apologists, respectively, for those most totalitarian of leaders…Adolph Hitler and the Ayatollah Khomeini.

I would note that the philosophy of Michel Foucault  likewise inspired Silvio Funtowicz and Jerome Ravetz to create the dubious off-shoot of real science - “post-normal science” – from which “global warming” was birthed. Butt I digress.

As things turned out, The Duck controversy proved to be a grossly overinflated kerfuffle:

that quickly started to lose air,

 

until it was completely deflated.

So until such time as we have another case of cultural outrage for the Justice Brothers to prosecute, we shall remain focused on our current rehab project: reintroducing the Queen of Kool.

Allow me to help you into your right honorable chair.

And Hillary won’t be a bystander, look for her to be actively participating in her own rehabbing. Word has it that she has been shopping around for some replacement parts that will “enhance her features” and allow her to lose the “pantsuits” fixture that earned her the moniker. Specifically, I hear she is shopping for some cankle replacements:

Don’t you have anything in a size 8 calf?

I’m thinking maybe she will go shopping for a new nose next, because this one seems to be getting all squirreled up:

I found this collection from the Duck Commander that might do the trick:

You can buy these babies right off the shelf, or for a little bit more, have one custom made for your face:

Butt if none of those “fit the bill” so to speak, there’s always this good old adjustable standby:

My only advice to Hilz is to proceed with caution, because these total rehabs don’t always work out the way you expect. Take Detroit for example, where we discovered we had to destroy the place in order to save it.

Sure hope that doesn’t happen to Hilz. Because it would be a real shame, if an ugly duckling like that were to be shot down before it had a chance to emerge as a beautiful swan.

All I can say is “Quack.”

Just another over-inflated quack, gazing down on you, gazing back at it.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and Red Target, Abby L Call, Ken Butt, William Brewer, Susana Patrick on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Rehabilitation of Hillary Clinton

Although I was trying to take Sundays off during the holidays, I thought I needed to come out of my self-imposed hiatus to brief you on this breaking news item: Hillary is definitely planning to be installed as America’s First Female el Presidente!

In it to win it: was there ever any doubt?

I realize there was never much doubt about this fact, butt the confirmation came with the publication of part one of a 12 part book report on Benghazi assigned to David Kirkpatrick of the NYT by an unnamed Administration official. I can’t mention any names, butt her name rhymes with “vice” and starts with an “r”.

Back off Rhambo, she’s mine.

In his book report, David proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Hillary didn’t lie about Benghazi; it was about the video all along. And, oh, by the way: they weren’t al Qaeda either.

"Months of investigation by The New York Times, centered on extensive interviews with Libyans in Benghazi who had direct knowledge of the attack there and its context, turned up no evidence that Al Qaeda or other international terrorist groups had any role in the assault. The attack was led, instead, by fighters who had benefited directly from NATO’s extensive air power and logistics support during the uprising against Colonel Qaddafi. And contrary to claims by some members of Congress, it was fueled in large part by anger at an American-made video denigrating Islam."

Proving once again the axiom that the bigger the lie, the more often you have to repeat it to make it so.

When last week’s 60 Minutes interview with Susan Rice (part of CBS’ own government-mandated rehab program following their previous misleading if not downright felonious reporting on the subject - see “When ‘60 Minutes’ Checks Its Journalistic Skepticism at the Door,” ironic,to say the least)  proved beyond a doubt that Benghazi was still an albatross bedecking Hilz’ neck, quick action was required. The (lap)dogs of the government-media complex had to be dispatched post haste in order to clear the path for 2016 as promised.

Susan, admiring Hilz Albatross necklace: can’t anyone in this Administration be straight? With the American people I mean?

Note, there’s still time for an end-of-year award for bravery in journalism award.

So I’m certain that this new NYT series will adequately clean up that little rightwing generated meme about Benghazi being a scandal of incompetence and/or negligence and malfeasance, leaving Hilz free to pursue her life’s dream of ruling the universe as the second coming of the Dragon Lady; unfettered, finally, by that phony Benghazi scandal.

Inaugural gown-in-waiting: The Dragon-skeletor rules the Dark Knight

It certainly took longer than anyone expected:

So I think we can trust the MSM to run with this newest in-depth analysis of a tragic incident that marred Hillary Clinton’s otherwise remarkable and distinguished tenure as Big Guy’s Secretary of State:

Because dancing with cows is an important function of serving as Secretary of State, that’s why.

Because, “with all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans. Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night decided to go kill some Americans? What difference at this point does it make?”

Don’t be fooled again. It makes a huge difference.

And remember: History is too important to leave it in the hands of journalists, especially those working for the state-controlled government-media complex.

Calvin and Hobbes analyze the analysis

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and Mireille Buser, Laurie Guthrie, Far North Dallas Tea Party Patriots, Zenas Brehm, Abby L Call, Doris Fritsche Bergmann, Clint Counts, Denise Barbosa Dos Santos, Laurie Guthrie on facebook, and @batfreighton twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Saturday Sweaterday: Celebrating Lady M’s Half-Century Mark In Style

When I saw my email with the subject line “Save the date for the Fabulous Fifty party” I naturally thought we were throwing a party for all the people who have successfully signed up for Obamacare on the exchanges. How silly of me: we haven’t hit 50 yet.

Of course, the “save the date” memo was about Lady M’s upcoming half-century celebration. I realized that as soon as I got to the part advising me to “wear comfortable shoes, eat before you come and practice your dance moves.” Although, frankly, I think there’s a racist joke embedded in there somewhere (h/t Earl Butz). I should probably mention that to our gay social secretary before this gets way out of hand.

Jeremy Bernard (right) and then-partner Rufus Gifford (left), with Big Guy. No comment on the reason for the breakup.

Because we certainly don’t want another one of those Duck Dynasty type controversies swirling around here to ruin the birthday party of the decade.

Anyway, I’ve been shopping for the perfect gift for Lady M’s big day. I’ve pretty much settled on a sweater because everybody knows Lady M’s signature mini-me sweater look played no small part in her becoming the greatest Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™  of all time (h/t: Cripes Suzette). Butt like the shark that must keep swimming or die, even the greatest Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™  of all time must keep moving Forward! lest she be relegated to the “Racks of Wal-Mart” category. So this year, I’m mooving Lady M in a new direction, sweater wise, and could use some help choosing the perfect sweater to mark the half-century birthday. Wow! When you say it that way it sounds really...never mind.

Please feel free to weigh in on which one you like best, butt realize my final selection is dependent on the size of the loan my credit union will approve.

First, there’s this “wool-polyamide-elastane blend scalloped sweater by Valentino...currently selling on Moda Operandi for the cool price of $1,690.”

Although we’ve got the light and dark shades in the correct general areas to, uh, enhance our positives and minimize our negatives, I suspect the problems here are obvious. We have already stretched the containment structural limits of titanium beyond the expected failure point. There’s nowhere to go until the Department of Defense discovers a new, stronger element.

Next up, a shimmering “pure Viscose metallic sweater by Balmain can now be found on Farfetch for $1,775.”

It has Lady M written all over it. My only concern is that it may be a little too derivative of MO’s other glittery metallica frocks.

Then there’s this, from one of MO’s absolutely favorite designers: “Flower girl: Floral fare like Jason Wu's $1,995 embellished sweater...”

Although I’m worried about this one being a little too “anatomical” if you know what I mean…

I really like this “Simple pleasures: Pared-down looks like Bottega Veneta's $2,200 cotton cardigan”

…as well as this “Donna Karan $1,995 blend that is expensive despite its simplicity”

Butt I’m just afraid they may both be a little too “Jackie.” You know...WASP-y?

So far I must say this one is the frontrunner, based on price alone: “Reigning supreme: The Row's cable knit design, which took 90 hours to produce, is likely the season's most expensive sweater at $4,490.”

I know: I can’t quite picture Lady M in it either. Butt at 4500 Washingtons I’m thinking maybe she’d be willing to give it a go.

Let me know what you think. If you’re not fond of any of them, or my loan doesn’t come through, I guess I could always go with my fall back bottle of Crystal Champagne, which she always seems to enjoy:

“Bottoms up!”

Linked By: Rick Hamilton, Scott Wayt, Mary Nixon, Abby L Call on facebook, and @ValCSilver, @tari1231 on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

If You Duck This Holiday Season, Please Duck Responsibility.

Let me be clear: that is not a string of Christmas lights bedecking Lady M’s forehead:

Nor is it a portable landing strip for either Santa or Marine Won:

They’re Kwanzaa lights, and apparently they’re quite fashionable.

And don’t act like you’ve never seen them before, because MO rocked them last year too.

BO, First Bro-in-law, Craig, and MO; Big White, 2012

As I went to great lengths to point out at the time (in Headband Heroines) the look was MO’s nod to another ‘schtrong’ woman-of-Washington who also had to occasionally stand by her selfie-involved man:

Hill, in turn, was casting herself in the Eva Peron role: the heroic spouse who succeeded her recently departed husband as president of the bereaved country:

And I speculated at the time that perhaps Lady M was likewise preparing herself for that roll:

(Sorry; I know I promised to stay away from the pit shots for awhile, butt I thought you might be interested in its provenance)

While Eva (affectionately known as Evita by her subjects) was not known for rocking headbands per se, she was a huge fan of hats:

…with black Kwanzaa lights

Hills just updated the concept with headbands, and Lady M, with sparkly doo rags.

Anyway, back to Lady M’s newest look, trust me: it could have been worse. The sparklies come in everything from butterflies to stars, so the landing strip motif was really not that bad.

And since I think that The Other McCain already let the duck out of the bag:

I might as well go ahead and tell you we’re looking to expand our cache to encompass the Duck Dynasty franchise. And since everyone knows how notoriously lowbrow that crowd is, we’re keeping the new doo rags  low key too.

The article about the new show quoted Big Guy from his infamous presser last week, in which he kind-of-sort-of-did-and-didn’t-take-responsibility for the Obamacare fiasco:

On Obamacare, the president allowed he’d made mistakes when it came to the health care rollout. “Even though I was meeting every other week, every three weeks with folks and emphasizing how important it was that consumers have a good experience … the fact is it didn’t happen in the first month, first six weeks in a way that was at all acceptable, and since I’m in charge, obviously we screwed it up.”

Because, like, when you meet “every other week, every three weeks” you, like, just expect your little people to take care of “stuff” for you. And they didn’t. That’s why the not so royal in this case “we” “screwed up.” Smitty explained:

“You’ve got to respect a leader that’s singular in his understanding of who’s in charge, and somehow, ambiguously, vaguely plural in his grasp of who tubed it.”

I, for one, think “Duck Responsibility” will be a big, big hit. And it’s not like there haven’t been duck hunters in the White House before:

Yes, that’s a Duck Commander duck call hanging from his neck. They don’t call him “Bubba” for nothing.

In fact Big Guy’s a big fan of the ducks! Why, even his own dearly departed (RIP Stanley Ann) mother was a duck lover:

So it just feels right that the next “Dynasty” show take place right here – beards and all.

Sure to be a hit: staring Barry and his beard. h/t Peoples Cube

And if I do say so myself, I think I can so totally rock this look!

 

Everybody’s Happy, Happy, Happy!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Zenas Brehm, Rebekah Root, Annie Brown, Abby L Call, Lori Miller, Bobby Eaton, Mary Nixon on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Obamacare: Fairness in the Shadow of Perpetual Adolescence

Well, did you have “the talk” with any of your “young invincible” pajama-wearing, perpetually adolescent relatives this Christmas - as directed by Big Guy?

MOTUS did, as her family has over two dozen 20-30 somethings. This is what I learned.

As with youngsters of all eras, their ideology does not hold up well under the crushing realities of day-to-day life and economics. Those who have graduated from college in the 5 years subsequent to the coronation of America’s first Black President don’t give a rat’s ass what color he is anymore. Been there, done that; what has he done for me lately? 

Where khakis, bring notes, talk about Obama.

For the batch of  “young invincibles” who haven’t yet found a job earning what they think they’re worth, with benefits they find acceptable, Big Guy is now indistinguishable from any other politician such as, say, George W. Bush – who they know they hate, butt have forgotten why.

While most do not follow politics beyond what’s covered on the Daily Show, they are all familiar with Obamacare, because it effects them personally. (note to self: good marketing technique for the yutes of America - make it all about them)

One nephew was happy because he’s still eligible for coverage under Mom and Dad’s policy for another 2 years.

And no more sub-par health insurance for him! (Don’t forget to thank Mom and Dad! Their premiums will be going up astronomically to ensure that your coverage now includes all Obamacare mandated items such as free condoms and other related womym’s “healthcare” – like  “day after” pills that the mean old Republicans wanted to deny you for free.)

Another nephew, who is working a part time job because that’s all he could find with his language arts degree, was delighted to discover that after his cheapy, catastrophic only BC/BS policy was cancelled that he could get better coverage (free condoms!) at a lower cost because he was eligible for a subsidy! (You’re welcome, nephew. Please remember my contribution to your well being when I’m old and eligible only for the pain pill.) He also informed me that lots of his friends have heard that they are going to be eligible for Medicaid (great) butt haven’t bothered to sign up yet because “it’s too big a hassle.”

Dude, we’ve got better things to do.

One of the nieces concurs, she cannot be bothered to try to get enrolled in Obamacare either, even though she has no coverage. She’s already had a rough year, really doesn’t need any more hassle right now and doubts that she needs healthcare coverage now anyway. Plus, she refuses to let it ruin her life by worrying about it. That’s somebody else’s job. Besides, she’s still got the basic 30-something’s fall back healthcare system: Mom and Dad.

self-reliance: it ain’t what it used to be

For the few of the bunch who have found decent employment in their field (the ones who chose to major in a marketable discipline) the reality of contributing a rather substantial portion of their paycheck for the welfare of their (previous) peers who were neither as wise nor as motivated while in college is beginning to rankle. So maybe there’s reason for optimism. It turns out the kids, once they figure it out, don’t like getting screwed by the government any better than the oldsters. As evidence of this hypothesis, I submit this  pretty much verbatim dialogue with one of my niece-mirrors yesterday:

MOTUS: So how’s your new job as athletic trainer going, Meghan?

MEGHAN: Fine, I like it, and the coaches, a lot. And I love my apartment…and most of my roommates.

MOTUS: Oh, how many roommates do you have?

MEGHAN: Three, that’s what we needed to rent a decent place. And three of us are good, but everyone’s a little ticked off at Erin right now.

MOTUS: What’s the problem?

MEGHAN: Well, she just signed up for food stamps, and we’re all like WHAT!?  She’s got a crappy part time job, butt we’re like “why don’t you just get another part-time job?” and she’s like, ‘I need some me time.’ Some ME TIME!?! The rest of us are humping our asses and she just goes in and gets free food stamps! We just couldn’t believe it.

MOTUS: Just curious, what did she major in? (again, on my honor, I’m not making this up. You can’t)

MEGHAN: Womyns Studies, like anybody thought she’d get a job with that. Anyway, she was so proud of getting the food stamps and can’t understand why we’re all upset. Butt that’s not the worst part, Aunt MOTUS.

MOTUS: What’s the worst part?

MEGHAN: She wanted us to pay HER for the food she bought with the food stamps! We told her, “we already have Erin.”

I immediately commended her mother for raising such a well-grounded young woman. And you see, maybe there is real hope for the future. It’s like that movie: Reality Bites. And real reality bites even harder. If only we could get our economy rolling again so that all the young, brainwashed masses can get a real job in the real world; perhaps then they will finally understand that there are two sides to the “make it fair” equation.

Or at least we, like Einstein, can dream.

NOTE: I REALISE I LET THIS PIT SHOT SLIP THROUGH MY REFRACTORS, AND FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE. I PROMISE TO DO BETTER NEXT YEAR,

I know: “I’m sorry” is inadequate. I’m really, really sorry. (h/t Blonde Gator)

Linked By: Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Rich Pletcher, Kimberly C. Conner on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network