Saturday, November 19, 2011

Change Delivered! That and $4.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.

It looks like “Change Delivered” is still in the lead for the 2012 presidential slogan contest. As you recall, we’ve already test driven a few other mottos that never really gained traction. My personal favorite was “Win the Future” or WTF. This one seems to have fallen out of favor with everyone, including the WTF crowd that came up with it in the first place.

Butt not only did its short acronym pack a meaningful sentiment, it was also reminiscent of one of my all time favorite presidential campaign slogans: WIN – Jerry Ford’s brilliant promise to Whip Inflation Now. Unfortunately, he didn’t get a chance to execute his program.

       image      image

In retrospect, it might have been better for the 70’s if we had reelected Jerry, since he at least had a plan, which included “increasing our domestic energy supply by promptly utilizing our coal resources and expanding recovery of domestic oil still in the grounds in old wells ” to beat inflation back. The winner in the epic 1976 contest, Jimmah Carter, had a plan that relied on sweaters, dialed down thermostats, reduced consumer consumption of everything else, and acceptance of the proposition that our best days were behind us. So in a way, you could say he was the godfather of the OWIES!

imageTime to get our Jimmy Carters out!

It probably should be noted that - although things didn’t really turn out all that well for America in the aftermath of Jimmy’s election - at least the citizens demonstrated good faith by electing the man the MSM told them was the smartest guy in the room. Not as smart as Big Guy of course, but much smarter than the moron that he was running against. Historians are still trying to figure out what went wrong there.

jimmy-gerry bubbledPresidential Jeopardy: I’ll take malaise, Alec, for $100 trillion.

Meanwhile, Big Guy wrapped up his East Asian tour with a bowling game in his new bowling shirt,

bowling in baliBowling for dollars: It was like the Special Olympics or something

and then he had a semi-secret meeting with Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao that really got somebody’s nose got out of joint:

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao.2jpg

No, not Hillary. She was there, keeping her eye on BO:

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao

No, the out-of-jointers was the print reporter’s pool, who were not invited to attend. The only press allowed in were TV reporters and photographers for some reason. The group spoke in hushed voices, so those present really couldn’t hear what was being discussed. They did report that there was no further incidence of tonsil hockey between any of the US delegates and the Chinese dignitary. 

Thank goodness! Those old stories about Big Guy and the Chicago DLC are really starting to unhinge some of the campaign guys Occupying the Big White, and we sure don’t need any fresh meat. And now that our “body man” has saved up enough money from his Big White internship to go back to school to get his MBA at one of the finest business schools in the country (Wharton! - He must have a brain almost as big as Big Guy’s) we hope to put all of those Chicago boyz town rumors to rest. No more bologna!

President Barack Obama and personal aide Reggie Love stand in a hallway of the Eisenhower Executive Office Building of the White House after dropping by an African Growth and Opportunity Act (AGOA) meeting, Aug. 3, 2010. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House. 
Parting ways. No, no! Don’t jump!

Lady M? She still seems to be mildly “sedated” after her last round of sacrificin’ for the American people, butt she’ll be back tomorrow to take part in Joey B’s birthday celebration. BTW, if you want to send your wishes you can do so here. Since I won’t be able to attend the actual party (not invited), I just sent along my best wishes:

joey b b-day card

Wow! Joe’s 69! Can you believe it!!!!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Michelle named head cheerleader for 2012 WTF season: Wu-Hoo!

As announced in the NYT today, Lady M has a new role in our re-election campaign: Head Cheerleader. Yes! That’s right, head cheerleader. Something Lady M’s always dreamed of.

 Big Guy, Big Guy, He’s Our Man, if he can’t do it, no one can!

Give me a “B”!,  make that a “B+”!!

And the best thing about this new role? We’ll be needing a whole new wardrobe. For this assignment we’re hiring Lady M’s own personal head cheerleader and unpaid spokesperson, Jason Wu. Here are a few excerpts from a pre-game pep rally interview with Jason:

On why Lady M is one of his heroes:

She really is this amazing woman. When I asked her how she chose my dress, she just chose it because she liked it. The idea that she would choose a dress for such an important day based purely on instinct is quite brave, and such a great thing to hear. Without any other deciding factor, she decided on the dress because she liked it.

Because – particularly in Lady M’s case - choosing a dress based solely on your instincts really is brave.

            imagemore new hair1

What do you think of her style sense?

I think she has certainly made Washington a more fashionable place and really inspired working women who may have been afraid to dress up too much for work in fear of not being taken seriously.


                mo to NYCmo clowns around IOTW

Who wouldn’t take Lady M seriously? Seriously?

With her beautiful chic dresses and the figure-flattering things she wears with bare arms, it doesn't get in the way of the fact that she is a great first lady promoting some great causes and I think that is inspiring women all over the world to not be afraid to embrace their femininity.

 mo big bo

Nothing inspires femininity like a figure flattering big bow

On having his gown selected by Lady M for the inauguration:

It was really an amazing thing. I never thought that as a designer I would get to experience something of that magnitude. Because it is not only significant in my career, but it is also historically significant. I think that is something not every designer gets to do in their lifetime so I feel very proud of it.  


We’re all very proud. It’s historical.

What do we have to look forward too?

My spring collection was inspired by pop art. It's really a combination of two things. Haute couture techniques and pop art. They are two very different elements and I wanted to combine them in such a way where they seem at home with each other.


Oh dear! I think I know where this is headed.


Curse you, Andy Warhol

What makes your designs special?

I have really honed my craft and made these truly breathtaking, gravity-defying clothes



Some so gravity defying they actually take your breath away

Well, that’s all for now. I’ve got to run because we’re all busy getting in shape for the cheerleading  competition. We’ve got Two-A-Days scheduled now through January.

                jumpflying again



2012. WTF. Are you in?

H/T: Chickaboomer

Linked By: Jammie Wearing Fools, and Barack "I am the 1%" Obama on Business Insider, and Barracuda Brigade, Thanks!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

There’s No Fuzzy Math in NASCAR

A good week for Big Guy to pop-up  down under.

US President Barack Obama waves to photographers as he arrives at Bali air force base in Denpasar on November 17, 2011, ahead of the East Asia Summit. Obama arrived November 17 on the Indonesian resort island of Bali for the East Asia Summit, which is expected to be dominated by a maritime dispute with China.

Everyone in town is focused on bad news and growing gloomier by the moment.

This week’s bad news began with the announcement of the huge Christmas bonuses to be paid to Fannie and Freddie execs for their show-stopping performance in the mortgage business.  Big Guy called the bonuses “shameful” and “the height of irresponsibility”  - no, wait: that was what he said awhile back about the Wall Street bankers. I’m sure he feels the same about these guys and these bonuses. He just hasn’t had a chance to say so yet because he’s out of town on bidness.

Moving on, we’ll have today’s Congressional review of the Big White’s last best hope for a green Christmas. Dr. Steven “paint it white” Chu will attempt to explain to Congress the math behind the decision to loan a dead cow more money for the future delivery of milk.

imageDr. Chu, with Lady M, explaining how fuzzy math works; 2 plus 2 equals green.

Butt  this week’s topper (so far) comes from Congressman Alan West, who thinks Big Guy should make Ricky resign!?

“I ask the president of the United States of America to recommend to Eric Holder that he resign from his position,” West said. “If the president does not agree with that stance, then perhaps the president of the United States of America is also complicit in this horrible, tragic event.”

Boy, that seems harsh. After all Ricky didn’t know anything much about the guns walkin’ until June March and even then. he thought they were just toy decoys. And he did call for new laws to better track and control gun purchases in his most recent appearance in front of Congress. What more do you want from this man, blood?

And of course there’s the ever unfolding Auto Bailout details where, without bad news there’d be no news at all: from GM’s falling market valuation, to the re-estimated government loss on the GM bailout.

The original loss to the American taxpayer for the GM bail was estimated at $14 billion, now it’s up to $23 billion –  a 64% increase! It turns out that’s about standard for government work.

But wait, didn’t Big Guy brag about how GM had paid back their bailout loan ahead of schedule? Well yes, and I guess they did - technically. Except for the money they aren’t going to pay back with our own money. It’s complicated, and don’t worry if you can’t follow. It’s government math and even Big Guy with his great big brain doesn’t really understand how it works.

 imageIt’s called fuzzy math, and it really, really works. And that’s all you really, really need to know.

Anyway, we’re probably going to have to adopt the fuzzy math for our WTF run for reelection because it’s starting to look like we may be dealing with that same reasonable margin of error on the cost of Obamacare.

As an offset to all this presumably bad press, Lady M is busy polishing her chassis for her inaugural debut as NASCAR queen on Sunday. Yesterday we tried on a few of our older ensembles that she thought might work:

              DVF-Mateo-Zebra-Balloon-top_thumb_th[1]michelleobamashortscropwash natltableclothheist

                     steppin outdougie daze

                      off to camp dMICHELLE-OBAMAdancin'WTFjpg

Butt the bottom line, nothing seemed right so we’re going shopping this afternoon for something a little more “boogity-boogity-boogity” for the occasion. After all, being Grand Marshall at a venue that she and Big Guy have determined to be a vital demographic for our reelection is a huge challenge. Here are a few of the logos currently under consideration for our jumpsuit:




I’ll keep you advised as to who is in the lead. I’m betting on Cheetos. Is that insider trading?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Insider Trading for Insiders: That’s Not You

Finally. An answer to the age old question of “How do poor people, ignorant in the ways of Wall Street, go to Washington and come home millionaires?

imageHarry prays

imageMaxine nays

imageCharlie chaises

Peter Schweizer’s new book, reviewed, more or less, on 60 minutes by Steve Croft posits an answer: insider trading! And not just any insider trading, no-fault insider trading:

There is no law prohibiting members of Congress from using non-public information to form their own investment strategies, but the "60 Minutes" questioned several lawmakers about transactions that may have had at least the appearance of a conflict of interest.

San Fran Nan says it’s all hogwash: the result of that despicable right-wing attack machine…CBS. And besides, this type of graft is legal. Just ask Hillary if you don’t believe Nan. Big Guy’s Secretary, Hill, practically invented it! Seriously: it’s no wonder Hill was said to be the most intelligent woman in the world: can you turn $1000 into $100,000 in less than a year (legally, I mean)? So you see why she was a shoo-in for the Senate, and would have been President too, if not for Big Guy’s totally awesome awesomeness.

And that brings me back to another totally awesome woman who’s too often relegated to the shadows:

mo shadow hat“Beret” naturally created. No ‘shoppin’ of any kind involved

Wow! We barely got our feet back on the ground and here we are, workin’ hard for the American People again:

2Click to embiggen

You may recognize some of Lady M’s email message. Since yesterday was official “America Recycles Day” and because we always like to recycle our best ‘stuff’  we re-ran the story about Big Guy’s Mom being discriminated against because she was a typical white woman:

Barack understands these issues because he's lived them. He was raised by a single mother who struggled to put herself through school and pay the bills. When she needed help, Barack's grandmother stepped in, waking up every morning before dawn to take a bus to her job at a bank. And even though she worked hard and was good at what she did, she ultimately hit a glass ceiling and was passed over for promotions time and again because she was a woman.

Wait a minute. Did she say Granny Dunham worked for a bank? I sure HOPE the POWIEs don’t find out about this! We’ve already got enough people occupying the Big White.

imageButt our tents are nicer

And then there’s this, likewise recycled in honor of ARD:

So Barack knows what it means when a family struggles. He knows what it means when someone doesn't have a chance to fulfill their potential. And today, as a father, he knows what it means to want your daughters to grow up with no limits on their dreams.

people chelsea clinton-1607764236_v2.grid-3x2No Limits on our daughters: Like this?

“In another win for the famously blind meritocracy that rules American life, rewarding the ultra-talented and pushing the less brilliant and skilled into the outer darkness, Chelsea Clinton has landed a coveted position at NBC News.”

Meritocracy. That’s what we’re all about now. Because not everyone can get by simply on the Audacity of HOPE:


Or the business acumen of a street trader:

imageIt’s like manna from heaven: for the chosen people

So if you wish to join the movement to support our daughters and ensure that they too get an opportunity to enjoy these special benefits, please help in any way you can by signing up today to help re-elect Big Guy.


1click to embiggen


Because remember: only you can prevent meritocracy.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal,Thanks!