Saturday, May 5, 2012

Zeitgeist: The Reunion Tour

Today’s four words: compression, composite, communism, compost. In no particular order.

I know it seems like we’ve already had a gazillion fundraisers to WTF. Butt as I’m sure you recall, the show doesn’t start till the dummy says so:

messy-doody-2 copyHowdy Messina announces the big round-up

So now it’s officia : Howdy Messina says we are finally “READY TO GO” now that we have our new campaign slogan, “FORWARD.” That will be nice for a CHANGE. Anyway, we’re “kicking off” our 3 1/2 year old campaign for reelection today! And naturally we’ve picked two colleges full of ready-recruits to do so: Ohio State and Virginia Commonwealth.

Since none of our economic plans are really getting us anywhere, we’re letting our cracker jack techno-team take over to reenergize the boots on the ground effort. The technogeeks will be at the rallies in full force armed with gizmos to zap personal information from anyone within 50 yards of the Jumbotrons that are set up to flash personal comments and pictures from supporters all across the country – how cool is that?

Naturally, because we are so cool, you can follow the events on Twitter, Facebook, and from anywhere; and special web sites will be set up for rally-goers to “check in” on other social networks to let their friends and family know where they are! (And to let mom know when they’ll be dropping their laundry off.)

Plus, if you sign up today you can get future text messages right on your phone! From Big Guy’s campaign! How fun is that! So, if you don’t have anything else to do on a beautiful spring weekend, be sure to sign in and follow the fun! Both Big Guy and Lady M will be there. Notice: if you sign up we will  have access to your cell number and by law can badger you for 90 days to donate additional money to help get Big Guy elected to  Czar for life.

Even Joey B is getting in on the fun: he sent a campaign e-mail to supporters yesterday too:

“This is pretty cool,” Biden wrote. “Messages from supporters across the country will be broadcast on the big screen live during the event.”

joeybYeah, it’s called “texting.” It’s really cool, it’s like talking, only with text.

Of course others in Big Guy’s administration aren’t as excited about the new techno-campaign:



So it’s going to be a really fun day! In addition to our kickoff pep rally, it’s also Cinco de Mayo. Unfortunately, due to today’s campaign scheduling conflicts we had to celebrate this undocumented Mexican holiday on Tres de Mayo. And Lady M wasn’t able to join the festivities this year due to one of her “sick headaches.” It must be the pressure of the campaign. It gets to everyone eventually.


2012-Governors-Dinner-at-the-White-House_3_1OK then.

It’s also Kentucky Derby Day – or “Mint Julep day” as we call it around here, so the Pim’s cups, juleps and Margaritas will be flowing on Air Force Won on all legs of the trip.

Butt did you know that today is also Karl Marx’s 194th birthday? That’s right, we’re officially kicking off the WTF campaign on the birthday of the original Redistributor-in-Chief! You might say that Uncle Karl was the godfather of “compression” too since he invented the concept of taking a whole bunch of stuff from society’s producers and compressing it into a much smaller bunch of stuff. That compressed stuff can then be redistributed to the dear leaders of the Occupiers and the rest of the little people as the leaders see fit.


Because nothing is as useful as a good class war in classless society

So far it hasn’t really worked out that well – either communism or compression - butt then, we’ve only been trying it for 150 years or so.  We’ve just been waiting for the right person to come along.

Obama Halo 

And sure enough, along came Big Guy; and he even told us that he was the one we’ve been waiting for. Or watching out for, depending on your viewpoint.

“Modern bourgeois society, with its relations of production, of exchange and of property, a society that has conjured up such gigantic means of production and of exchange, is like the sorcerer who is no longer able to control the powers of the nether world whom he has called up by his spells.”


Oh. hee.  TOTUS was just effing with me. Apparently that’s not the speech BO’s giving at the FORWARD rallies today. That’s actually from a little tribute speech he’ll be delivering to a small, private group of friends and supporters later in the day commemorating Uncle Karl’s birthday. (closed press).


Butt speaking of the proletariat: one last comment on Lady M’s stunning color block frock from Monday. I’m sure you know that it was a one of kind custom job from the Preen spring collection. In its prêt-à-porter version it runs about $1300; customizing kicks it up a bit, say 3-4 times that. Butt even so - compared to Ann Romney’s $900 off the rack blouse - Lady M got a whole dress (well, except for the arms)! I’d have to say that’s much better value. So while Ann remains “tone deaf” in America, Lady M, like Big Guy, is definitely tuned into the zeitgeist of America.

Something no doubt Karl Marx could relate to. Zeitgeist that is, not $1300 frocks.



Variations on a theme from Preen

first-lady-michelle-obama-3rd-annual-warrior-games-colorado-springs-1For the custom-made version, you get a custom-made fit

Customizing is definitely the way to go, if you can afford it, because your frock is personally tailored to fit. So even if you do have to pay for it, which of course we don’t, it’s worth it.  And please note: at least we didn’t get the more fashion forward peekaboo torso version; that’s how you can tell the campaign has officially kicked off. 

And while I’m on the subject of fashion and zeitgeist (don’t you love that word?) here’s another recent example of how Lady M rocks that whole designer dressing on your budget thing:

         mo jimmy kimpolynesian fruit salad for the ifrst course mo

The runway version of the Naeem Kahn gown, and Lady M’s customized gown

And don’t fret about how much that gown that Lady M wore for the Washington Correspondent's Dinner cost you: all of MO’s one-of-a-kind frocks priceless.

mo columbus

h/t Charlie

Linked By: NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and DeniseVB on The Crawdad Hole, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter,and PM Daley on twitter, Thanks!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Big Guy’s Dolls, take 2: Paper, Blowup and “Composite”

Let’s start Friday off with a little traveling music. Today’s theme: Gurl-friend!

To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before: Willie and Julio

I know you’ve all heard about Big Guy’s second composite girlfriend by now: #Julia, who is being exploited like crazy over at #Compositewoman. It looks to me like a blatant continuation of the Republican War on Women.

For one thing there are a lot of offensive jokes flying around over there, like this one: “What’s the difference between a composite girlfriend and a pit bull? I already told you: a pit bull is delicious.

boandrhamboRhambo: #1 pit bull

RAHM BALLET  Delicious!

And all the stupid tweets that everyone has been posting are not helping either.

cgf tweet


barry's composite girlfriendMeet Julia, BHO’s composite white girlfriend!

Here’s what we know about Julia so far: when she grows up, she’s liberal, slutty, large bosomed, completely malleable – did I mention liberal?

As it turns out, BO’s “original” (pre-Julia) “composite” girlfriend  from “Dreams” was  actually a “compression” of Big Guy’s imagination. Good thing the girlfriend was white though, because that kind of “compression”  might be considered racist had he “compressed” black women that way.

michelle-obama-madStereotyping the Angry Black Woman: Racist!

Butt the girlfriend compression (GFC) – along with Big Guy’s preference for angry black women (boy, that explains a thing or two!) - is just the tip of the iceberg. The other revelations in David Maraniss’ new Big Obama Book are beginning to make the cabal that placed the turtle on the post veddy, veddy nervous – if you know what I mean. Could their composite “Barry Sotero-Baraka-Barack-Buh-rock Obama” be coming undone?

Yet, make no mistake, this is a dangerous book for Obama, and White House staffers have been fretting about it in a low-grade way for a long, long time — in part because it could redefine the self-portrait Obama skillfully created for himself [ed. with an assist from “some guy in the neighborhood”] in 1995 with “Dreams from My Father.”

The success of “Dreams” has given Obama nearly complete control of his own life narrative, an appealing tale that has been the foundation of his political success. But Maraniss’s biography threatens that narrative by questioning it [ed. odd, isn’t it, that nobody in the MSM thought to “question” that narrative in “Dreams” for the first 18 years following its publication? I mean, since Big Guy ran for president and everything?]: Was Obama’s journey entirely spiritual and intellectual? Or was it also grounded in the lower realms of ambition and calculation? [ed. You mean like Jimmy Carter?]

Danger! Danger! Danger! Do not pay any attention to that man behind the curtain!

obama-big-brother msnbc

Certain people are beginning to grow suspicious that Big Guy, as we know him, is made up completely of, uh, “compressed” memories of god-like legends. This of course has led some people to start questioning those funny scars on his scalp again,


and has others citing the neck scars,

obama-neck scar7

and pins:

composite barry01 copyThe “Compressed” President                 h/t ElizabethinTexas

All of which raises the specter of a Manchurian Candidate once again. and dog jpgEnough with the dog jokes, ok?

Me, I’m suspect of the big ears. Normal people don’t have ears that big do they?

bo's ears plugged in

Butt back to Mr. Maraniss’ book:

“This book is about the world that created Barack Obama and how he refashioned himself,” Maraniss said in a Vanity Fair interview that accompanied excerpts of the book Wednesday. “I have done extensive research for all of his years leading up the White House…”

So I’m just wondering why nobody else thought to do this – “extensive research,” I mean, before the last presidential election? I hate to say it, butt this does give legs to that whole turtle-on-post cabal conspiracy theory. Say! Maybe David Marannis can look into that three years after the next election!

Anyway, since the first GFC worked out so well in real life, Big Guy’s crack campaign team thought “why not a GFC for the campaign too?” And that’s how #Julia came to be.

We do seem to be getting a little blowback along the lines of “Who the hell is “Julia” and why am I paying for her whole life?” Butt the real issue, as pointed out by Fausta, is that Julia was born 3 years ago and at a projected age of 67, Big Guy is still President.

That would make Big Guy what? 114? Goodness! That Obamacare must be working out really well! Even so, at that point he really will look like Morgan Freeman!


Until then, I guess we’ll all just have to live out our fantasies as best we can.


gwb paper dolls

Miss Me Yet?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Temple of Mut, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and BadBlue, Thanks!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Big Guy’s and Dolls

The media seems so pre-occupied with the love songs of B.Hussein Obama (with apologies to J. Alfred Prufrock) disclosed in his latest biography: Barack Obama: The Story (so far)…

obamas-first-girlfriend4 bogenevieve-cook-obama

Genevieve, Bo, then and now: hawt, or not hawt?

…they haven’t had time to cover some other breaking stories.

For example, we haven’t heard very much about the latest body crammed under the ObamniBus, that of the blind Chinese dissident. After all, it’s not as if Chen Guangcheng is a blind sheikh trying to blow up buildings in New York or something.

It’s as if everyone just forgot about Lady Liberty’s inscription all of a sudden:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses, yearning to breath free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest tossed,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

I don’t know - maybe all our empty seats have already been sold to Muslims and Mexican gun runners. And as you well know, the pie is only so big.

obama_pie_2As you see, the crust is already getting a little thin

Of course there was BO’s little politically correct tweaking of Liberty’s verse back in 2010 - where he redacted the part about “The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.” So maybe now we’re only letting people in who pose no threat of voting Republican.

I would advise Chen to get a new lawyer and check off the “Native American” box on his application. I understand you can get preferential treatment if you do. As well as make new friends.

Meanwhile the rest of the MSM have been so busy covering Ann Romney’s expensive fish blouse they’ve not even had time to give Lady M props for her fashion chops.

mo patchworkColor blocking the opposition

I guess I see their point though, $900 for a shirt with a giant fish face seems excessive – butt you know how those out-of-touch rich white people, spending their own money, are.

          DV811752ann romney fish shirt     

At least Ann got two sleeves for her $900. At twice the price, Lady M’s one shouldered Jean Paul Gaultier doesn’t seem to be good value. Then again, it didn’t cost her anything.

Butt hey: I know you’re not interested in any of this. I know what you want to see! The steamy love letters and diary’s of Big Guy’s previous lovers. Sorry. I don’t have any of them. Butt I can show you what David Maraniss has made dug up and is passing off as such. They’re fun too:

“Remember how I said there’s a certain kind of conservatism which I respect more than bourgeois liberalism — [T.S.] Eliot is of this type,” Obama wrote in one letter to McNear. “Of course, the dichotomy he maintains is reactionary, but it’s due to a deep fatalism, not ignorance. And this fatalism is born out of the relation between fertility and death, which I touched on in my last letter — life feeds on itself. A fatalism I share with the western tradition at times. You seem surprised at Eliot’s irreconcilable ambivalence; don’t you share this ambivalence yourself, Alex?”

It’s not just anyone who writes passionately about T. S Eliot to their girlfriend.

And what fresh bullshit is this?

But Obama has now told biographer David Maraniss that the 'New York girlfriend' was actually a composite character, based off of multiple girlfriends he had both in New York City and in Chicago.

Hmmm. A composite; that’s a great idea! I wonder if that’s how Big Guy came up with his own persona? Heck, he could’ve been anything, butt he chose to be a brilliant, poor, half-black son of a great Kenyan academic and a struggling working mom who worked hard, went to Harvard, became a community organizer and ultimately saved the world.

CLOONEY DARFURThe composite president

I guess this isn’t really such a big deal. After all isn’t this what politicians do all the time? Create a composite of their constituents in order to exploit address their concerns?


Let me just leave you today with this thought: If BO had a girlfriend in college, she would’ve looked like this:

ObamaGirl--83863Obama Girl #1

or this:

56204485George Flockhart: Obama Girl #2

Not this:

obama-girl-05-280a121208Amber Lee Ettinger: the original Obama Girl

Linked By: steebo77 on HotAir, and NOBO on Free Republic, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, and Zilla of the Resistance on twitter, and FairDaizie in twitter, Thanks!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Hitler Discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song.

Today’s four words: Vorwärts! Vorwärts! Vorwärts! Vorwärts!

Everything was going along just fine: we had a brand new campaign slogan (“Forward,” in case you live in a cave), Bin Laden was still dead, and Big Guy was busy giving himself a shout out while spiking the ball in the end zone. Then someone breaks the story about our new campaign marching tune being a Third Reich rip off. 

Things went downhill quickly from there.

Sure enough, someone tipped Hitler off about the copyright infringement and he pitched a fit.See for yourself:

Hitler discovers Obama Stole His Theme Song. Warning: strong language and harsh images.

As if that weren’t bad enough, then we find out that the new WTF slogan also has ties to Marxism and socialism. I’m not seeing how this is a WINNING strategy.

At best it’s confusing. Are we going with the little children’s propaganda and snitching Brown Shirt squad?

brown shirtsWatch, Listen, Report

Or for the more advanced cultural revolution of the Marxist’s Red Guard that requires the integration of arts, culture and governance?

 mao's red guard Mao’s Red Guard 

Meanwhile, I’m auditioning some additional campaign slogans, just in case there’s more blowback on our “Forward” theme.

So far my favorite contender is “The Preezy and the Meezy say eat your peasy.”

    4 bomo vegas2

I think that accurately captures the sentiment, butt I’m not sure it meets our new requirement for brevity.

Linked By: American Digest, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Doug Powers on twitter, and Clarice on JustOneMinute, and sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,and plainjane on Flopping Aces, and Thumbelina on Mighty Righty, and BigFurHat on iOTW, and Israel Matzav, and MRM on twitter, slickwillie2001 on HotAir, Thanks!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

BO the Builder: skills, not so hot, butt he sure can dress the part

Yes, we have another new campaign slogan: Forward. WTF?

Are you kidding? We can’t say anything in four words! Nevertheless, I’ll try to begin each day’s dispatch from the O-zone now on with our four words of the day. Today’s come to you compliments of iOTW (please pardon BigFurHat’s French, he’s passionate)


And now on to the news. Check this out: After three and a half years, Big Guy has finally learned how to properly greet foreign leaders:

610xBig Guy greets Japan’s Prime Minister Noda. Yay! No bowing! Good boy!

Earlier BO addressed our friends in the building trades, reinforcing some of our forward thinking:

And along the way, unions like yours made sure that everybody had a fair shake, everybody had a fair shot...You believed that prosperity shouldn’t be reserved just for a privileged few; it should extend all the way from the boardroom all the way down to the factory floor.  That's what you believe.  (Applause.)

For further guidance on what you believe, you can check here.

now when I say doofus, you know what I meanBO the builder, addressing his fans in the trades

Say, that reminds me of another big brain from the past:

pg2_a_dukakis_576Oh wait, those aren’t his ears…never mind.

Big Guy also took the opportunity to hammer the do-nothing (Republican) Congress for not rebuilding bridges (literally) and for refusing to pass a bipartisan bill that could “guarantee work for millions of construction workers.”

Butt having just returned from a cross country trip I can assure you that there are plenty of construction workers spending Big Guy’s stimulus bucks. How about we get them some work building houses and office buildings again instead of closing lanes all along the interstates?

Butt I digress. Big Guy continues:

Not everything should be subject to thinking about the next election instead of thinking about the next generation.  (Applause.)  Not everything should be subject to politics instead of thinking about all those families out there and all your membership that need work…

But we can’t afford to just wait for Congress.  You can’t afford to wait.  So where Congress won’t act, I will.

Great. That’s reassuring.

fascismTrickle Down Tyranny

Then BO continues to hone his stand up skills (just in case, well, you know…)

It’s about what we do together.  In the construction industry, nobody gets very far by themselves.  I'm the first to admit -- I’ve got to be careful here because I just barely can hammer a -- (laughter) -- nail into the wall,


…and a sickle?

and my wife is not impressed with my skills


“That is so lame, Buh-rock.”

when it comes to fixing up the house.  

houses_underwater“Hell, Buh-rock, you can’t even get the Senate to pass your damn bills any more!”


obama-hanging-curtainsnatl day of service YMCA

“Doing a little work around the “fixer-upper” – as Romney would call it.” RIMSHOT!

Right now, fortunately, I'm in a rental, so -- (laughter) -- I don't end up having to do a lot of work.

Obama-golf-3no kidding?

(Laughter and applause.)                                       (h/t Mary)


So, take away #1: Lady M is not impressed with BO’s skills.

mo and Bo

Butt I think we already knew that.

Take away #2: We need to work on a new slogan. Big Guy’s 25 minute speech, although wildly entertaining,  ran way over Four Words.

Now: on to Lady M’s schedule:

We’re workin’ it: Monday Lady M made two appearances in Colorado Springs; one a closed press meeting with campaign volunteers, and the other, the opening ceremony for the 2012 Warrior Games, a competition for injured service members.

mo patchworkRemember: clothes send a message. Especially during an election year

mo wounded warriorNot sure a patchwork dress says “ economic prosperity” – unless we’re talking in an ironic way

MO gave the athletes participating in the Wounded Warriors Games the same advice she gives Big Guy every morning:

"Have fun. Don't get hurt. Stay out of trouble.”

bo assume the positionSome days it works out better than others

Then it was on to Arizona for Lady M: first a meeting with students who volunteer at an urban farm.

mo az

Yeah, I know, I don’t get it either: carrots maybe?


Organic student volunteers

Then on to the real purpose for this trip: a private fundraiser (you know the drill by now: closed press). Oddly, the Official Big White website didn’t publish Lady M’s remarks like they usually do. I guess even they are getting a little bored with the yada yada yada:

And let us not forget all this administration has done to keep our country safe and restore our standing in the world.  I mean, thanks to our brave men and women in uniform, we finally brought to justice the man behind the 9/11 attacks and so many other horrific acts of terror.  (Applause.)  My husband kept his promise and he ended the war in Iraq, brought our troops home, and we are working hard every single day to give them and their families the benefits that they’ve earned.  (Applause.)

Butt I can report that the fund raiser was a big success. Appealing to progressive’s guilt gene seems to work every time:

"Will we be a country where opportunity is limited to just a few at the top?" Mrs. Obama said to 450 people who paid $150 to $10,000 per person to attend the campaign fundraiser. "Or will we be a place where if you work hard, you can get ahead no matter who you are or how you started out?"

Anyway, more of the same today: harping on fair shares and fair shots and fair shakes only we’ll be in Las Vegas and Albuquerque. And no carrots.

Too bad. The carrots were definitely a high point yesterday.


You know what – we should eat more carrots around here! I understand they’re good for your eyesight. How can that be a bad thing?

Screenshot Studio capture #513I only reflect what you can see

Four more words: Eat your f***ing carrots.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Gateway Pundit, and sb on Weasel Zippers, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Norman Einstein on iOwnTheWorld, and Henrysheretoo on twitter, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, Thanks!