Saturday, July 7, 2012

If you can’t take the heat, get off the bus.

O-oh! You might call it the BO-Anti-Midas effect. It seems to have started yesterday and I sure hope it doesn’t hang around. It’s sort of like the Gore-effect, only with far wider range  than just the weather. Although make no mistake – it was as hot as Hades: Al Gore would kill to have this kind of weather associated with his name.

hot hot hot bo2hot hot hot bo3

It feels like the gates of Hell have been thrown open, doesn’t it? Welcome to my world. Regards, Al

The trouble began shortly after breakfast yesterday: bacon, eggs and grits at Ann’s Place in Akron (actually this was BO’s second breakfast, having started the day with a healthy breakfast of salmon and sea bass at the Hilton). Sadly, Ann, who showed up to be hugged by Big Guy in the parking lot, succumbed to the heat, humidity, excitement and her bad ticker just a few hours later. Big Guy sent his sincere condolences.

Butt seriously guys, this type of reaction isn’t exactly what we’re looking for here. Swooning, fine; sobbing, great, butt actually expiring? Not so good. The campaign team will be working harder to keep this sort of thing under the radar. So when you read about some of our true believers “fainting” at future campaign events, it could be they bit it. Please don’t pass that on though. In the wrong hands (I’m talking Fox News) this could be made to look bad.

Anyway, then the Big Black Canadian Bus (BBCB) was on to Summer Garden Manufacturing, a "Green LEED Certified"  plant in Boardman Ohio that uses local ingredients to make and bottles private label marinara sauces; including Molto Mario’s - a big fan of Big Guy - and Lady M!

mo mario crocks watermark copy

Lady M and her Food TV buddies: promoting healthy eating and knife skills

The plant tour started off well enough, with Big Guy demonstrating his arugula-certified organic food snob rating: he sniffed the air and declared he detected the scent of oregano wafting in the morning air.

arugula snobIt takes a special kind of nose to smell oregano amidst a simmering vat of tomatoes, onions and garlic

Of course, Big Guy is more of a connoisseur and gourmand than an actual cook, so what would he actually know about the smell of simmering garlic?

Unfortunately, while the linemen at the marinara plant were having their pictures taken with BO, the Anti-Midas touch hit again; the packing machine behind them got jammed and since nobody noticed the entire line shut down. That caused a little overtime for the crew:  stimulating more job activity!

Next up, an "unscheduled" stop for the BBCB at Kretchmar's Bakery in the picturesque town of Beaver. I guess if I had been the advance team I might have looked for a pie shop in a picturesque town that also had a picturesque name. Butt apparently we have a big campaign donor in Beaver.

 

bo apple pie Ketchmars beaver paJust pick one already! We just want to eat our cookies.

I know his heart was in the right place, butt just like on Thursday, when BO tried to bribe the press pool with peaches, he once again offered them a bribe. This time with cookies, and it was all caught on tape:

“Maybe I’ll get some cookies,” he added. “Press, do you want some cookies?”

Pool reporters were noncommittal.

“Will you consider this a bribe once again?” said Obama. “Why don’t we get a dozen chocolate chip cookies and send them on the press bus, and I won’t know if you guys ate them, all right? I know the photographers will eat them. Those guys have no shame.”

Obama paid for pie and cookies with a crisp $20, and told employees to keep the change. [ed. unfortunately the cookies cost $21, butt that’s ok, staff covered for him1] After he returned to the bus, campaign officials trotted over to the media vehicle and delivered the promised goods.

“Aides delivered cookies, but they weren’t chocolate chip,” declared the pool report, drily.

Another campaign promise, broken.

As if the pool had to be could be bribed to write good press anyway!  That’s a joke. Right?

Of course with all this sudden Anti-Midas Touch stuff going on, the main message of Big Guy’s battleground state tour sort of got lost: that it’s the economy, stupid! And we have finally taken a step in the right direction as far as job generation is concerned! 84,000 jobs created in just one month!

Okay, so we need about 135,000 per month just to keep up with population growth. And 360,000 new jobs per month in order to get us back to 6% unemployment – in THREE YEARS!?! Yikes, if that’s a step in the right direction I think I’d requisition a new GPS.

By afternoon though Big Guy had already nuanced his stance on the job creation picture,

bo 4 more years science mystery theatre“That’s right! We’ve added the fewest number of jobs in nearly 4 years, butt don’t read to much into that dude.”

and began to warn us not to read too much into the monthly jobs numbers. To which the Romney campaign proposed that Big Guy change that slightly to read “Don’t read too much into my first term” citing the fact that he has made this suggestion 30 times in the past 42 months (h/t Weasel Zippers)

June 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is informative to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.” (LINK)

May 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.” (LINK)

April 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.” (LINK)

March 2012: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, and it is helpful to consider each report in the context of other data that are becoming available.” (LINK)

February 2012: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report; nevertheless, the trend in job market indicators over recent months is an encouraging sign.” (LINK)

January 2012: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report; nevertheless, the trend in job market indicators over recent months is an encouraging sign.” (LINK)

December 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

November 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

October 2011: “The monthly employment and unemployment numbers are volatile and employment estimates are subject to substantial revision. There is no better example than August’s jobs figure, which was initially reported at zero and in the latest revision increased to 104,000. This illustrates why the Administration always stresses it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

September 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

August 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

July 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

June 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

May 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

April 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

March 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

February 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

January 2011: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

December 2010: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

November 2010: “Therefore, as the Administration always stresses, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

October 2010: “Given the volatility in monthly employment and unemployment data, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

September 2010: “Given the volatility in the monthly employment and unemployment data, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report.” (LINK)

July 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative. It is essential that we continue our efforts to move in the right direction and replace job losses with robust job gains.” (LINK)

August 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

June 2010: “As always, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

May 2010: “As always, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

April 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

March 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

January 2010: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

November 2009: “Therefore, it is important not to read too much into any one monthly report, positive or negative.” (LINK)

 

forward behind bars

Forward. Don’t read to much into it:

forward behind bars

It could be a trap.

And so we wrap up another road trip with the Real Obots of the Battleground States and shuttle the BBCB back to the garage until such time as we once again deem it necessary to hit the trail to gamble with America!

obama-ohio big black busYes! Thank you too!

H/T Fausta, Gateway Pundit, and Blonde Gator

1 My legal team (that would be Little Mo) advises me to advise you that I made that part up.

NOTE: In case you missed Lynn II’s comment the other day, she now has her new blog up: Lynn’s Little Nest. It’s now over in the sidebar.

Linked By: Cross-Posted at Flopping Aces, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, Clarice on JustOneMinute, and AnnieLaurie76 on twitter, Fausta, Key West Reader on Hot Air and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and BadBlue, and  NOLI INSIPIENTIUM INIURIAS PATI, Thanks!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Obama’s Betting on America. With your money.

“Obama set off on a two-day odyssey through battleground states Ohio and Pennsylvania, meant to stress his rescue of the iconic US auto industry and to contrast his empathy with the middle class to that of his opponent Mitt Romney.”

H/T photo caption writer

odyssey:

1: a long wandering or voyage usually marked by many changes of fortune

2: an intellectual or spiritual wandering or quest

And so we continue our “Betting on America”  bus tour:

OBAMA_SAVING_CANADIAN_JOBS-CROP_cowatermark_thumb[1] In our Canadian made bus

Other names considered for the tour included “Betting on America’s Victims,” “Betting against the Demon-Rich” and “Betting on Middle Class Envy” butt none of them tested as well. So we settled on the simpler concept of Betting on America. It’s like betting the farm, only bigger.

bo bets america“I’ll match your peck of peaches and raise you a gross of corn”

bo fuzzy peachesAre your peaches fuzzy, baby?

It was a brutal day in Ohio:

The heat,

 

bo breaking a sweat

the humidity,

bo hot

The maudlin,

obama care supporters for obamanot a set up photo op

The burger snack,

 

bo's burger Savin’ the corn, peaches and strawberries for later

The happy hour stop,

bo drinking like a girldrinking like a with the girls

So as we continue our “Betting on America” tour through the scorching heartland today, let’s do a quick recap of how our gambling spree is going so far:

  • Solyndra – let’s say that bet set us back a half billion and call it a day.
  • Abound Energy – a much better bet. We only lost $70 million on that since they went bankrupt before they burned through the entire $400 million loan guarantee. Although technically we should probably count the $10 million they got from Big Guy’s Import-Export Bank too. So make that $80 million. Still chump change in this game.
  • Nevada Geothermal Power – yeah, this one’s going down. Let’s round that loss to $99 million. Like Solyndra, NGP was already on the ropes when the Energy Department granted the loan. Big Guy says if they weren’t in trouble, they wouldn’t have needed the loan, right? Business is not really his strong suit. On account of it requires the use of the old fashioned kind of math instead of the new mathamagical math.

Oh well, at least they didn’t ship any jobs off shore like that Vulture Capitalist Romney. (I don’t think Dr. Chu’s Off Shore Wind Farms count.)

offshore_wind_power_shutterstock

I don’t know, maybe alternate energy isn’t where the smart money is betting any more. Nobody seems to need all that green energy when manufacturing continues to decline (unexpectedly) along with jobs and employment (also unexpectedly).

Even Big Guy’s best bud Jeffy Imelt has canceled plans he announced last October to build the largest solar panel plant in the country. Well, never mind. Seems as though the numbers are going to work out. So it looks like GE is just another Vulture Capitalist after all. On the bright side, maybe Big Guy could school Jeff on how to use mathamagical numbers in business analysis. And then GE could apply for a loan from Big Guy’s Big Bank of Venture Socialism.

bo business analysis 101 copy

 

So onward, oh great Won! Let us continue our odyssey across America. Betting your money as we see fit.

We’re bound to win eventually, right?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and AnnieLaurie76 on twitter, and HELENK on The Crawdad Hole, Thanks!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

We Are All Terrorists Now

It’s the Fourth of July in Washington D.C.. Do you know where your President and First Lady are?

That’s right! Enjoying themselves at the traditional picnic for military heroes and their families on the lawn of the Big White.

mo bo 4th

Just one look at their faces and you can tell just how much they’re enjoying it too.

For this year’s traditional ceremony Lady M ditched her previous 4th of July themes of black and white and funky batik prints and went more traditional in red, white and blue stripes and pleats. No sacrifice is too great for our reelection effort.

4th mo 09Black and white marked our first historic Big White 4th of July: it also sparked our first “preggers” rumor.

4th mo 10A red, white, black and turquoise apron top marked our 2nd historic 4th. More “preggers” rumors ensued.

4th mo 11

A lovely cornflower blue and red frock, reminiscent of a Marimekko shower curtain from the 70’s, marked our 3rd historic 4th.

Butt now that it’s the reelection season:

mo pleats double belts

We are all over the preppy red, white and blue stripes. This ensemble stars double-double belts. I’m referring to the ones with buckles in the proximity of MO’s “waist;” I’ll leave the alcoholic drinks coverage to Obama Foodorama (from which I’ve currently been banned for some reason. I HOPE it didn’t have anything to do with my coverage of O-Food fave Big White chef, Sammy Kass, last week).

Any hoo, fireworks followed the picnic and a good time was had by all as we celebrated the Nation’s Independence Day. Or, as some of Big Guy’s big supporters would say, “Happy effing Birthday America, you sucky, racist, violent slaver-nation!” (h/t: Juno)

Meanwhile, over at Bruno’s Homeland Security agency, we’ve finally discovered where to direct our anti-terrorist forces: at you.  Despite the worldwide Jihadist war declared against all infidels (I hope you’re paying attention Hollywood – they’re talking about you), HS has determined through in-depth research and studies that their pre-conclusions were correct: the real threat to America comes from home grown terrorists like Susan Daniels. She’s a 70 year old mother of 7 and private investigator challenging Big Guy’s Social Security credentials, so you know she’s dangerous.

That’s right. It seems we have just received the official and incontrovertible results of a report funded by Homeland Security that classifies

Americans who are “suspicious of centralized federal authority,” and “reverent of individual liberty” as “extreme right-wing” terrorists.

So, I guess that’s that, it’s now official:

NEWSWEEK FEB. 16 COVER

Note: To be sure, the report “Hot Spots of Terrorism in the United States 1776 1970 –2008”  includes this disclaimer:

This material is based upon work supported under Grant Award Number 2008ST061ST0003 from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security made to the National Consortium for the Study of Terrorism and Responses to Terrorism (START, www.start.umd.edu) at the University of Maryland. The views and
conclusions contained in this document are those of the authors and should not be interpreted as necessarily representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security or START
.

In other words, if this causes too big of a stir, Homeland Security will disavow it. Even though they agreed with it before they funded it.

tea party logoThe Tea Party: Terrorizing America Since 1776

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Moonbattery, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Cross Posted at Flopping Aces, Thanks!

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy Birthday America! July 4, 2012

 

 

 

“That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it…”

 

DoI_copy_thumb[1]

 

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

This is followed by a long list of grievances against the tyranny of the King before continuing with the redress: our Declaration of Independence.

Please read the entire Declaration of Independence. Read it to your children, your grandchildren, the neighbor’s children. They need to know. God knows, they will not learn about it in school any more - probably because His name is invoked with such reckless abandon therein, with no concern whatsoever for the separation of church and state.

For our part, let us remain forever vigilant against those who would impinge on our inalienable rights by throwing open the very gates designed to hold tyranny at bay.

Dewey has some additional thoughts on Independence Day you might enjoy also.

 

scramannotated portraits courtesy of Cripes Suzette

“The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep’s throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as a liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty, especially as the sheep was a black one.  Plainly the sheep and the wolf are not agreed upon a definition of the word liberty” Abraham Lincoln

Now get out there and enjoy yourselves! Hot dogs, burgers, potato salad, watermelon ( is that racist?) cherry and apple pie a la mode! If you don’t feel like cooking yourself, scamper on over to Adrienne’s; she’s putting out quite a spread that you can enjoy vicariously!

Happy Birthday America!

us_independence_day_5_1152x864_thumb

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and MRM on twitter, Thanks!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Molsterman Report #2: Checkmate

 the molsterman report copy

NOTE:  This is the second in a continuing series of exclusive, clandestine, interviews that I’ve been able to arrange with my mole over at the Department of Justice (“Deep Quote,” aka, “Molsterman,” aka “Little Mo” to the MOTUS community).

Deep Quote is a longtime D.C. political operative who has given us insights into the pathological workings of the President’s mind that have time and again been disproved by previous generations.

385395_339020586108639_100000021009099_1501749_484241518_n

PART ONE AVAILABLE HERE: DOJ’s Fast and Furiously Expanding Scandal

(as always, h/t and apologies to the Ulsterman Report)

Today “Deep Quote” weighs in on some weighty legislative issues:

MOTUS: Have you dug up anything else for me over at Justice on Fast and Furious?

MOLSTERMAN: I told you – it’s getting too hot over here for you to be snooping around.  I don’t want to scare you, but I ran a  “MOTUS” filter while screening routine F&F documents, and I got several hits: are you sure you can trust Raj? And what about Little Bo?

MOTUS: I would trust them with my life.

MOLSTERMAN: Well, just keep your eyes and ears open. I think you’ll be okay, but you should get down in the mole hole with respect to  the Holder-molder for awhile. Why don’t you ask me about Obamacare?

MOTUS: Are you working the Halls of Justice now? Inside the Supreme Court!?

MOLSTERMAN: Never mind, let’s just say I have my Supremes sources, and it ain’t Diana Ross. I know a guy, who knows a guy. I’ll just call him “Tony.”

The_Sopranos_-_Tony_Soprano

Like I told you before, these guys are all amateurs. “It’s a tax – oh noooo! It’s not a tax. It’s a penalty, no; it’s a tax, not a penalty. Or maybe it’s a tax penalty.” Judas A. Frickin’ Priest! These a**holes don’t know a tax from a hole in the ground.

obama just a big empty holeThis could be a good place to hold the deficit

Hell, nobody around here even pays taxes! What do you expect from a gaggle of amateurs like that?

tim-geithner3-e1305465577580Taxes? Not my department. Oh wait! Yes it is. I just let Turbo-Tax handle that.

Now I see there are dozens of theories floating around about why Roberts flipped, and make no mistake – he flipped – but it’s stupid for the opposition to waste their time on that now. There will be plenty of time after the election to prosecute the thugs that got to Roberts.

gangster. obama jpgUntil then, they’re Untouchable

For now the Republicans should just stay focused and execute their strategy.

MOTUS: They have a strategy?

MOLSTERMAN: No! The A**holes! That’s why I’m talking to you. I’m trying to help them buy a clue. I understand they read your blog.

So here’s their plan, make sure they get it:

First, they have to lose Boehner. Replace him with someone who doesn’t cry every time someone takes his marbles. Someone like Allan West, who plays exclusively with steelies. And when someone tries to snatch them they’re caught in a head lock, not a stream of tears.

allenwestflyer1Does this look like a man who even owns a handkerchief?

Then the 'Pubs have to launch a 3 tier attack on Obamacare.

MOTUS: Three tiers? What is that? Dimensional chess?

MOLSTERMAN: Yeah, it’s called strategy and it requires you to, like, plan more than one sound bite ahead of yourself. Now shut up and listen, this is important: step 1) the House moves a bill repealing the whole of Obamacare.

MOTUS: That will never pass the Senate’s filibuster.

MOLSTERMAN: Do you think I’m an amateur! Of course it dies in the Senate. Would you just listen? Time is crucial here, we’ve got to get this all done before the election. We’re up to step 2: immediately following the Senate defeat of the repeal, they move a bill to repeal just the individual mandate. This will breeze through the House, most likely pass in the Senate because there are too many Dems from districts that hate O-care. Besides, it only takes 51 votes in the Senate now because the individual mandate was passed under “budget reconciliation.” That’s why the 'Pubs couldn’t filibuster then and the Dems won’t be able to now. So that plops it directly in the middle of the O-man’s desk. He’ll veto it of course.

bo clean deskNo, sorry, not today. I’ve got too much work in front of me right now.

MOTUS: So we’re back to square one?

MOLSTERMAN: Are you listening or talking? Because if you’re talking you don’t need me.

MOTUS: Sorry.

MOLSTERMAN: Step 3: now the 'Pubs go back and put a bill on the floor stating clearly that the “Individual Mandate is NOT a tax” it’s a penalty on free loaders – just like all the president’s men have been spouting since last Thursday. Now it gets tricky for the Dems in both chambers. The Preezy says it’s not a tax, so how can they vote against something he agrees with? But if they vote for it, they’re on record saying it’s not a tax: which the Supreme Court Chief Justice said makes the mandate unconstitutional. Checkmate!

CheckmateThe black king falls

MOTUS: That’s brilliant Molsterman!

MOLSTERMAN: That’s why I’m here. And never refer to me by name again, got it?

A. Yes, sir.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Adrienne’s Corner, and no2liberals on Free Republic, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and Cross-Posted at Flopping Aces, Thanks!

Monday, July 2, 2012

A Monday Composite: Ticks, Tax, MO

Oh oh!  Lady M just read What Really Makes Us Fat in the NYT:

From this perspective, the trial suggests that among the bad decisions we can make to maintain our weight is exactly what the government and medical organizations like the American Heart Association have been telling us to do: eat low-fat, carbohydrate-rich diets, even if those diets include whole grains and fruits and vegetables.

Wow! This is huge: if it’s right it means that Lady M’s signature No Child’s Fat Behind program is on the wrong side of medical history. It looks like we’re just going to have to defund that “Dr. David Ludwig of Boston Children’s Hospital and his collaborators” who concluded that it’s not fat that’s making us fat. It’s the carbs: and not JUST the refined ones, butt those found naturally in fruits and vegetables too! It’s not fat, not red meat, not whole milk (far fewer carbs than skim), not delicious full fat cheeses. It’s…fruits! And vegetables!  As you may imagine, this has Lady M’s head spinning:

h/t Gerard                                           Picture from Hemispheres Magazinecolorful Michelle-gerardWelcome to Lady M’s food desert: A world of fruits and veggies…making you fat.   

What a nightmare! Now she wants to leave Camp David early and head back to D. C. because she’s worried about getting bit by one of those ticks that turn you into an instant vegan.

A bite from the lone star tick, so-called for the white spot on its back, looks innocent enough. But University of Virginia researchers say saliva that sneaks into the tiny wound may trigger an allergic reaction to meat — agonizing enough to convert lifelong carnivores into wary vegetarians.

bo and the antsBig Guy on night patrol at Camp David; checking the grounds for vegan ticks

Frankly I think you’re likely to find more vegan ticks back in D.C.. Although I’m not sure why anyone is afraid of them, they don’t look like they could win a boxing match with a flea.

  bill clintonDennis

Famous Washington Vegans: America’s first black president decides to spend more time with his family; ditto, Dennis Kucinich (h/t Vanderleun, aka Gerard)

bill gwenethWhen Gwyneth is “punching above your weight” you might want to consider ordering a steak once in a while Bubba.

 

Anyway, on another front, have you heard our final solution on the Obamacare dilemma? We don’t care what the Justices call it, we’re calling the Obamacare tax a “penalty” for “free-loaders.”

In the wake of the Supreme Court decision to uphold the ‘Obamacare’ mandate under Congress’s taxing power, Democrats are unifying behind a message to refute the GOP contention that they raised taxes on the middle class.

The Dems’ response: No, we didn’t. We simply punished freeloaders. Just as Mitt Romney did. (snip)

“The massive so-called tax increase they’re talking about is the freeloader penalty,” Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D) said on CBS’ “Face The Nation, “which would affect at most 1-2 percent of people that could afford health care and instead want to be freeloaders on the rest of us with uncompensated care.”

Actually, the big brains at the Big White prefer the term “free-rider” (because they can pin that one on Romney, which makes it a perfect talking point) butt the distinction between free rider and freeloader is really just semantics, right? Just like the distinction between ‘penalty” and “tax,” right? I’ll tweet the question to Justice Roberts.

Still, it is confusing as heck, even Nancy got things a little mixed up on Meet the Press:

nancy gregory

 "It's a ta—; it’s a penalty for free riders," Pelosi said, nearly uttering the dreaded T-word before cutting herself off.

What I’m more concerned with though is the ever growing size of Nan’s eyeballs:

nancylady gaga

If those pupils get any bigger she’ll turn into an anime; just like Lady Gaga

So semantics-shamantics: whether you call it a tax on the middle class, a penalty for freeloaders or a service fee for, uh…getting “serviced,” the cost to “freeloaders” is the same. And if you fail to pay your tax/penalty/processing and handling fee, it’s still going to be collected by one of our 16,000 new IRS agents.

tax monkeysh/t Lucianne

Butt with all these people going on record saying that it ISN’T a TAX, doesn’t that put us right back where we started from? Because I thought the Supreme Court said it’s unconstitutional if it’s NOT a tax?

This is all making my head hurt, and since it is a holiday week I decided to just have a little fun with mosaic art myself. While the Hemisphere “composite” Lady M is made up of fruits, veggies and bees, I thought, why not do a composite of MO made up of things she actually likes to eat? So with a little help from Raj, here it is; I call it “the 31 flavors of MO” since it’s comprised of picture tiles of 31 of her favorite things:

 

Use your scroll wheel, touchpad or the zoom buttons to Embiggen and MOve around!

I’m using this mosaic to help Big Guy’s reelection bid by running my own special fund raising effort! Here’s how it works: see how many of the 31 flavors of MO you can find (click here if you want to cheat, it’s ok, everybody does it) then just submit your answers (along with a generous donation to Obama 2012) and you’ll be automatically enrolled to win lunch with Lady M! Not only that, you get to pick any three foods from her list of favorites to enjoy at your luncheon (4, if you make a really generous contribution). Sorry, we can’t include airfare in this very special, limited time offer to contribute to our reelection. I’m sure you’ll understand, because, heck, you probably can’t afford airfare either!

So good luck!

NOTE: A Big Thanks to Lucianne.com for making MOTUS one of the BlogsLucianneLoves! thereby ensuring that we’re now too big to fail. And thanks to everyone for filling my mailbag today with congrats!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and @AgentInfidel on twitter, Thanks!

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Pay for Play

As part of our Friday night doc-dump, the Big White released its annual salary report.

On this year's report, there were 68 special assistants to the president, 22 assistants to the president and 24 deputy assistants.

What’s significant about this? I’ll tell you what’s significant: every stinkin’ one of them makes more than I do! Once again I find myself at the bottom of the totem pole.

I don’t know about you, butt I’m outraged. Even the Chief Calligrapher makes more than I do:

calligrapher

Can you believe it? All he has to do is make letters look good:

black_white_calligraphy_initial_a_monogram_cards-p137341630404070697bfmn9_400

I’m not saying making fancy letters is child’s play, butt compared to what I’m tasked with making look good day-in and day-out?

mo pickin

And as if that weren’t bad enough…then I find out that even the non-chief calligrapher makes more than I do!

b_05

calligrapher 2

And all he does is dinner menus!

article-1348813-0CD52DAA000005DC-2_634x373

While I have to clean up the whole hot dinner mess!

article-1348813-0CD55C68000005DC-482_634x801obama_dess_610x387

Forget about that “equal pay for equal work” crap; I do twice the work for way less than half the pay.

Maybe I wouldn’t be so ticked off if I hadn’t found this entry in the Big White salary log showing that even Big Guy’s “Ethics Advisor” makes more than moi:

Screenshot Studio capture #593

Ethics, shmethics! All he does is issue waivers for the Big White Ethics Pledge;

bo axe manDavid “Ax-man” Axelrod was #1 on the ethics waivers list only because it’s alphabetical

Although, while I'll grant you that the “Ethics Advisor” does have to work a lot of overtime around here, it’s hardly as if I don’t.

Maybe it’s because of this one time I slipped up and failed to catch this booty shot before it went viral:

mo mama

Do you think I could get a waiver from the resident “ethics advisor” for this? No way.

Even so, I might have let the whole thing roll off my silver back butt for one thing: the salaries of people considered “residence staff” who DON’T have to appear on the official list of Big White employees. That loophole is compliments  of an “ethics waivers” issued by Mr. Ethics Advisor. So until further notice, the salary list of “resident staff” will  not be released by “the most transparent administration” in the history of the world.

Never-the-less, I got a copy through my sources (okay it was from Little Mo - currently on undercover assignment at the DOJ). And surprise, surprise! Everybody on that list except me makes more than the top paid person on the “official” list of Big White employees.

Screenshot Studio capture #593

For example, do you think “residence staff” member and world famous chef Sam Kass – the genius behind Lady M’s No Child’s Fat Behind program – is going to work for a measly $172,000?

Hardly. Not when you’re one of the world’s top 100 beautiful, sexy chefs.

kassHot bald steaming hunka-hunka

I’m trying to be fair here, so I will note that Sammy, the Wons’ former “personal chef” who followed them from Chicago to Washington, does have other official duties around here as well.

This constant gardener’s other responsibilities are illustrated below, left to right and clockwise, 1. helping MO eat right, 2. showing her the way, 3. singing for his supper, 4.delivering the sweets, 5.sitting by her left side, 6.leading the annual Gaia dance and 6.posing with pumpkins.

Michelle Obama Visits New Farmers Market Washington qUPXY-Yql5qlMichelle-Obama-in-the-White-House-Garden kass_8_1mo kasssam sweets michelle-obama-sam-kass-200

rhubarb dancesam_kass

And here, perhaps Sammy’s most important extracurricular job responsibility of all:

bo_kass_2009_both_lefties_thumb[6]Helping Big Guy work the kinks out – on the golf course I mean

So okay, he does seems to be busy servicing the Wons day and night, so maybe he earns his money. Butt again, what about me? I don’t get much down time either and I still haven’t even gotten the paltry raise to my paltry salary that I was first promised by Rahmbo way back in 2009.

So here I am, still the lowest paid staff member around here. I wouldn’t complain except I really am beginning to think that it’s because I’m a girl. Even though both Lady M and Big Guy are like 1000% behind equal pay for equal work, right?

julia6

Maybe I should just change my name to Julia.

And get a job as a web designer.

Or maybe as an “ethics advisor.”

calvin ethics examClick to Embiggen

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and UPI.com on Fark, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!