The Apron’s Red Glare-Updated for Mileage

Big Guy and Lady M threw a 4th of July party for some of our military families on the South lawn of the Big White yesterday. We served up the usual fat-behinds food: wieners, burgers, BBQ chicken and potato salad. Even Lady M knows better than to feed veggie burgers to the military; they’re all armed.

Try not to compare guns, only one’s “packing”

Update for Extra Punage Mileage HT: Gerard Van Der Leun

In remarks to the crowd, delivered from the second floor balcony overlooking the crowd, Big Guy called the Declaration of Independence more than words on an aging parchment, which is encouraging.

"We celebrate the principles that are timeless, tenets first declared by men of property and wealth but which gave rise to what Lincoln called a new birth of freedom in America — civil rights and voting rights, workers' rights and women's rights, and the rights of every American," he said. "And on this day that is uniquely American we are reminded that our Declaration, our example, made us a beacon to the world."

So I guess he’s forgiven the founders for being ‘men of property and wealth,’ which is good because I know that’s been bugging him about the whole founding-of-America thing for a long time.

And before I hear anything about the apron-top that makes MO look like a pregnant carnival barker, let me just say on her behalf, it was red, white and blue. And I think she needed the pockets for making change for the concessions. Regarding the hair knot: it was waaay too hot for our wig-hair.

Dots and knots

And we wore our favorite lizard feet with ostrich toes, painted appropriately for the holiday:

 

Our all-American, all purpose 2-pocket apron top: makes it easy to take things out of one pocket and put them into the other.

But yesterday wasn’t about Lady M. Or even the Wee Won-1 who was celebrating her 12th birthday. So back to Big Guy and his Independence Day message to our troops: he spoke of the ideals of America's Founding Fathers, and (tried) to quote Thomas Jefferson's work in the Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with inherent and inalienable rights; that among these, are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Whoa! Did Big Guy really say that? Yikes! That’s embarrassing. Most of us learned it as “endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights…” Apparently that “no rest until we plug the damn hole” policy is starting to take its toll. Plus, he’s got the 30 million inalienable undocumented workers on his mind 24/7 too.

Although that doesn’t explain this at the SOTU speech last January: 

"We find unity in our incredible diversity, drawing on the promise enshrined in our Constitution: the notion that we are all created equal..."

Hmmm, did the constitutional law professor really mean the promise of the Declaration of Independence? It is easy to get those big wordy documents mixed up, which is one of the reasons we need to re-write the constitution using some more modern concepts that are easier to understand.

 Giddy-up America!

What would have happened if GWB mis-remembered the words of the Declaration of Independence and/or Constitution? Or if Trent Lott had said something nice about former KKK member Robert Byrd (D) instead of Strom Thurmond (R)? And therein, my friends, is the real difference between Democrats and Republicans: Republican’s are morons and racists and Democrat’s are just overworked good old boys trying to get elected.

You are now free to get back to your wienie roasts.