Saturday, March 22, 2014 It’s all the news you need to know...

Seriously? Is the press corpse still flapping their jibs about a lack of sunshine in the most transparent administration in the history of America?

Back in November, news organizations filed a formal complaint with the White House about the administration’s habit of “bypassing them to release ‘official’ photos of presidential meetings and events,” contending “visual press releases” have displaced independent coverage.

Ingrates; still whining and carrying on, just because they never got a response. It’s not as if we haven’t gone out of our way to keep the press in the loop:


sharyl a commputer

And now I understand there’s further grumbling about Lady M not taking any reporters’ questions while on her official White House soft diplomacy trip to China. Butt let me point out, everything we want you to know you need to know is contained on the official White House propaganda information site. 

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels 4NlBVRUiF-AlThe softer side of diplomacy

And if you sign up today you’ll not only get free email updates on Lady M’s trip, butt along with a small donation to OFA to help Big Guy continue to fundamentally transform America - you’ll also be registered to win a coupon good for 10% off your next Obamacare premium! (just pay separate processing and handling)

Since we’re talking about the press, I feel I should mention that bogus story about Jay-Jay getting questions from the press ahead of time in order to practice his answers. I trust all the stern denials have put that malicious rumor to bed. Even the reporter who made this accusation has walked it back, saying she mis-misunderstood the rules. And honestly, who would have believed her anyway? Have you not seen our little mouthpiece trying to burp out an appropriate answer?


If anything, it’s the other way around: Jay-Jay gives the press the questions ahead of time. Butt we officially deny that allegation as well.

And I see that one of the very few actual watchdog journalists, Sharyl Attkisson, has corroborated parts of the original allegation. That right there should be enough to convince most people that it lacks veracity:

Responding to comments regarding a Phoenix television reporter yesterday who initially claimed that the White House pre-screens questions from reporters, Attkisson said, “I wouldn’t (be) surprised if sometimes there is that level of cooperation with some questions. If I need something answered from the White House and they won’t tell me, I’ll call our White House Correspondent. They’re friendlier with the White House Correspondents in general. So the White House Correspondent may ask Jay Carney or one of his folks about an issue and they will be told ‘ask that at the briefing and we’ll answer it.’ They want to answer it in front of everybody. (snip) But I think people would be surprised at the level of cooperation reporters have in general with politicians.”

Although the most interesting part of (former CBS correspondent) Attkisson’s interview was this:

She also said it is more and more difficult for investigative reporters to get their stories published or on the air because of the trouble it may cause.

Duh! We are here to transform America, not discuss what “investigative reporters” consider to be problems!

According to Attkisson, a behind the scenes environment exists in which she and fellow national reporters can't "break original investigative stories." That climate is putting "unprecedented pressure," against reporters and news organizations to go for the easy stories, dumping reports that might rock the media boat into a dead-on-arrival file.

Drudge went even further down that road:

"One common theme during conversations with national news reporters," is that "critical investigative journalism is all but dead," tweeted Drudge. Drudge damned the Department of Justice (DOJ) headed by Eric Holder as the reason investigative stories under the Obama administration had all but ceased. He inferred the prevailing fear that the DOJ was tracking reporter's sources had effectively killed the information flow.

sharyl attkisson Sharyl Attkisson: the one and only intrepid (former) MSM journalist brave enough to go “there”

Fast and Furious? Solyndra? Libya? Benghazi? What was she thinking!?! She may have had a mic, but the pen and phone are mightier than the truth in this business, babe.

bo phone and pen

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Friday, March 21, 2014

Breaking: Wind Arrives in the Forbidden City

For those of you who’ve been missing the fashion updates of the recently shuttered Mrs. O site, good news! I think she’s taken her keen eye for fashion over to Huffpo. At least this sounds like her:

Velvet and patchwork and shine -- oh, my.

Michelle Obama, along with daughters Sasha and Malia and mother Marian Robinson, arrived in China Thursday, but you'd never know by looking at them that they just took a 14 hour flight.

The ladies of the first family not only look fresh-faced, but extremely fashionable as well in their travel outfits. FLOTUS stunned in a body-hugging black, tan and white Derek Lam dress (and thigh high boots!!), while Sasha and Malia chose bold, colorful skirts.

The first lady is in China to discuss the importance of education (and NOT politics), but the family will get to do some sight-seeing as well. We can't wait to see what else these gorgeous ladies will wear on the trip.

She does know that Air Force Won Two is decked out like a 5 star hotel. right? Why wouldn’t these “gorgeous ladies” appear fresh as flowers?

mo girls

As you’ll see from this NYT report - accompanied by State (China) approved photos, the gorgeous ladies are holding up their end of the bargain. Today was a potential mine field however, as Madame Peng chose “three quintessentially Chinese specialties” for Lady M to try her hand at: calligraphy,

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels BzniRbpMHGpl

table tennis:

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels YDKGbPSnQHRl

and mathematics:

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels oYP33RsRCxwl“I’ve heard of math and science.”

Except for the table tennis, the others were challenging - have you ever seen MO’s handwriting?

handwriteNo wonder we’ve dropped cursive from Common Core

And everyone knows you don’t need math in law school or Washington D.C.

Fortunately we had a packed schedule and couldn’t spend much time at any of the activities. Next, we managed to squeeze in a whirlwind tour of the Forbidden City, where all the commoners were swept away to make it easier for our special guests to get around – just like back home!

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels PIA7vftLEitl

“The family were swept through the Hall of Supreme Harmony, and the Hall of Earthly Tranquillity, where the emperor’s concubines lived and slept on a bed covered with red brocade.”

Michelle Obama First Lady Michelle Obama Travels PSKBtU2nE2ylMO, in Imperial Red brocade, at the Diaoyutai State guest house in Beijing

You’ll also be relieved to know that we haven’t had to deal with the smog so far, as a stiff wind arrived to clear the skies:

Others commented on how Mrs. Obama was greeted by a blue, pollution-free sky. “Now Michelle’s here, it’s immediately bright and blue again.”

A breath of fresh air! Again, just like in Washington.

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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Obama/Ellen Selfie Contest: Who Wore it Better?

Don’t miss it! BO taped an appearance with Ellen yesterday, that will run today. Talk about cool. Here’s the promo for the show:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA will be talking to our host from the White House, and Ellen is ready to entertain her VIP guest with an inspiring conversation. Both Pres. Obama and our host have proven their dance moves, their desire for good, and their Twitter skills. Now the leader of the free world, and the champion of comedy will get into the President's new health care initiative. From L.A. to D.C., Ellen rolls out the red carpet for the United States' fearless and brilliant head of state!

bo ellen

Because, you know, there’s not much else going on around the world these days, and the most transparent president in the history of the Republic actually lives a pretty boring life.

'You know the truth of the matter is, if you followed me, most of my day is sitting in a room listening to a bunch of folks in grey suits talking about a whole bunch of stuff that wouldn’t make very good television.”

Agreed. Many people would say it doesn’t make for very good governing either. Ditto leadership.

Barry is actually appearing on Ellen’s show to hump promote Obamacare. Having failed to persuade the 20-30 somethings to buy insurance they don’t want and don’t think they need (apparently most of them are willing to pop for their own condoms), BO reached out to their moms instead, because the “kids” still talk to or text them on average 6.5 times a day even if they’re still living at home.

lunch text WM

President Barack Obama has had years to promote his signature health care reform. Now, with a near daily barrage of bad news tied to ObamaCare, from skyrocketing premiums to bald-face lies about its true nature, the president is reduced to working the talk show circuit like a B-lister promoting a cable pilot.

I can only guess that this means BO has run his allotted timeslot for the “coolness” factor and the pack has moved on. Which explains why he felt compelled to defend his jeans coolness when he was on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show (talk about B-listers!) last week:

“I’ve been unfairly maligned about my jeans,” he said. “The truth is, generally I look very sharp in jeans. There was one episode like four years ago in which I was wearing some loose jeans mainly because I was out on the pitcher’s mound, and I didn’t want to feel confined while I was pitching, and I think I’ve paid my penance for that. I got whacked pretty good. Since that time, my jeans fit very well.”

obama-jeans-calling-russian-president-vladimir-putinDressing down in fitted jeans to get dressed down by Putin

Actually, there are a lot of people who think BO acts too big for his britches, butt I don’t think we want to get into a who-wore-the-pants-better contest at this juncture, do we?

obama putin_thumb[1]

Meanwhile, back on the Ellen show:

The leader of the free world then took the Oscars host to task for breaking his record number of Twitter retweets.

Ellen tried to apologize for stealing the accolade, which came after she posted an image of herself surrounded by celebrities while presenting the event.

But the Commander In Chief was having none of it, telling her: 'I heard about that. I thought it was a pretty cheap stunt myself. Getting a bunch of celebrities in the background.'

Yep, pretty cheap.

bo celebsBo with, l to r, Jay Z, Springfield, Beyonce, Timberlake, Vergara

20120424-Obama_Clooney_you dinnerUnless you’re raising campaign funds, where cheap won’t cut it.

And again, do we really want to get into a who-does-selfies-better contest with anyone?

selfieNo, I didn’t think so.

In other news: Big Guy picks Michigan State to win it all in the Presidential brackets.

brackets2Sorry about the kiss of death, Michigan State.You deserve better.

And also, the weekly ratings were in on Big Guy’s Obamacare appearances last week, and they’re looking really good!

His oldest daughter was also impressed by his appearance on "Between Two Ferns," Obama said. "Malia was so excited! She had seen all the previous episodes, so I figured it was going to reach our target audience, which is a lot of young people, and it turns out we’ve had close to 15 million hits."

So, great! We’ve had 15 million “hits” from 15 year olds. When they turn 27 and get kicked off Mom and Dad’s policy, maybe they’ll sign up.

I’d love to give you an update on our China “official visit” butt as you know, our transparency rules do not allow me to. All I can say is “thank you taxpayers,” we’re having a great time so far and I’ll try to sneak you an unofficial image or two as we “make friends, see the sights, promote education, and charm anyone willing to listen” while carefully avoiding any discussion of human rights, international trade abuses, or eating your peas.



We’re here to charm and be charmed, after all.

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The Sun Don’t Shine Here so Move Along, Nothing to See.

Can you believe it? It’s “Sunshine” Week again!


Hard to believe it’s been a year already: how time flies when you’re busy being transparent.

bo transparency

This year, even the Administration’s most loyal supporters (MSM) have filed a few complaints about the most transparent administration evah!

The findings have never been great for the current administration, which promised to be the most transparent in history on the day President Obama took office. In recent years, most agencies have not fully complied with Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requirements. (snip)

nsa document redactedNSA document, redacted

The administration has also cited more legal exceptions to justify withholding materials and refused to turn over newsworthy files quickly, and most agencies took longer to answer records requests, according to the AP study.

A separate report this week from the National Security Archives found that 54 percent of all agencies have ignored directives that Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder issued in 2009 calling for a “presumption of disclosure” with FOIA requests. The good news: That number is down from about 70 percent of agencies last year. (snip)

The National Security Archives also found that nearly half of all federal agencies have not updated their FOIA regulations to comply with 2007 amendments Congress made to the law. (snip)

In a third analysis, the Center for Effective Government released its annual government-transparency report card on Monday, handing out failing grades to seven of the 15 agencies it reviewed.

And that’s the good report card. The bad report card came from Cause of Action, a Washington-based nonprofit watchdog group that monitors government transparency and accountability. They uncovered a 2009 directive that until this year’s Sunshine Week had been kept in a lockbox: apparently Big Guy had the Freedom of Information Act rewritten without telling the rest of America.

rain bo“Baby, the rain must fall. The sun can’t shine every day.”

The rewrite came in an April 15, 2009, memo from then-White House Counsel Greg Craig instructing the executive branch to let White House officials review any documents sought by FOIA requestors that involved "White House equities."

That phrase is nowhere to be found in the FOIA, yet the Obama White House effectively amended the law to create a new exception to justify keeping public documents locked away from the public. (snip)

The equities exception is breathtaking in its breadth. As the Greg memo put it, any document request is covered, including "congressional committee requests, GAO requests, judicial subpoenas and FOIA requests."

And it doesn't matter what format the documents happen to be in because, according to Greg, the equities exception "applies to all documents and records, whether in oral, paper, or electronic form, that relate to communications to and from the White House, including preparations for such communications."

issa redactedIRS document, Redacted

So once again, I feel compelled to remind you: the only “sunshine” you’ll be getting around here is the stuff being blown up our butts.


obama rainbo

Let me be clear: that’s a Rain-BO, not Rambo. Between the sunshine getting blown up our butts by the Rain-BO squad and the sunshine being blown up the Rain-BO’s butt by all the handlers around here, that’s a lot of unicorns.

Eventually everyone gets tired of it, blowing sunshine that is. Even Romney – whose handlers advised him to say only nice things about the first, historic black President – finally snapped. He finally determined that blowing sunshine had a fairly low return on investment so he really let it rip yesterday in his WSJ editorial: an eloquent way to say “I told you so.” As they say, read the whole thing. It doesn’t change anything. Butt what the heck, go ahead and cheese in on Mitt’s “I told you so” vibe, it might make you feel a little better.

rain2Barry is most transparent when the sun don’t shine.



Happy Sunshine Week!

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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

No Child’s Fat Behind: Mission Accomplished (Results May Not Be Typical...)

Were we not just talking about the shortcomings of epidemiological studies a few days ago? Short synopsis: they’re usually only good enough for government work – until they’re not even that good. (h/t Clarice)

Unfortunately, it’s beginning to look like the study that reported the early success of Lady M’s No Child’s Fat Behind program was bogus.

If the news last month that the prevalence of obesity among American preschoolers had plunged 43 percent in a decade sounded too good to be true, that's because it probably was, researchers say.

When the study was published in late February in the Journal of the American Medical Association, no one had a ready explanation for that astounding finding by researchers at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Indeed, it seemed to catch the experts by surprise.

iron chef mo WM copyIt may be premature for MO and her members of the “Eat What You Preach” club to take a bow.

What? No 43% reduction in obesity rates of 2-5 year olds after all? How could that have happened?

We are investigating the possibility of sabotage. Butt more likely it’s the result of the complex Common Core number bonds used in the study,

Jaiden's common core kindergarten math problem

As with many of these sloppy scientific propaganda epidemiological studies, there were methodology issues:

The problem lies in large measure with the small sample size of the CDC study and its relatively large margin of error. 

Yeah, that’s generally the case. So despite Lady M’s best efforts it looks like we haven’t yet won the hearts and minds of children when it comes to loving those yummy vegetables.

healthy eating“Should underlying assumptions prove incorrect, actual results may vary.”

Maybe what we really need, in order to cut the obesity rate in children, is a reduction in unrestricted Food Stamp programs, and those new “free” school breakfasts - where kids who’ve already had a good breakfast at home can pick up an extra juice pack and delicious donut.

Anyway, my point is if we can’t even get a simple study tracking kids’ weights right, what chance do have of tracking how many people have enrolled (and paid) for Obamacare coverage? Much less track a 777 that’s gone missing due to what is beginning to sound more and more like a highly sophisticated computer programming heist for nefarious purposes?

No wonder the Russians have joined ranks with the Belgians and French, who have been laughing at us for years now. The Russians first clue that they were dealing with a hapless American administration was Secretary of State Clinton’s presentation of the “Reset” button that was swiped from a Jacuzzi in Geneva and presented to Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov:

Clinton presented Lavrov with a gift-wrapped red button, which said "Reset" in English and "Peregruzka" in Russian. The problem was, "peregruzka" doesn't mean reset. It means overcharged, or overloaded. 

01-lavrov-clinton-reset-button-434x350He’s laughing at you Hill, not with you.

Is anybody else around here beginning to think we might be on the wrong side of history here?

Time-Magazine-Vladimir-Putin-65566All of our future are belong to us now

Not to worry comrades, BHO was quick to impose sanctions on a handful of Russians he’s deemed responsible for the Crimea action. It won’t change anything butt it certainly is petty, personal and irritating. So we’ve got that going for us.



Do not trust any

  • politician
  • government agency
  • “professional” journal

As they are all political entities utilized by zealots and lobbyists to advance their own agendas in order to extract maximum benefit for themselves and their benefactors, and exert maximum control.


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Monday, March 17, 2014

“CriMeA” River

Crimean voters took a historic step yesterday,  voting to secede from the Ukraine and submit return to Mother Russia. The votes were actually counted before the polls opened in order to keep things moving on schedule. In honor of this historic day, I thought you might enjoy a review of the event as it unfolded, in image and song: Scroll, baby, Scroll! (Or is that skol?)



See? Just like Stalin promised: free elections!


Screenshot Studio capture #1439Voters in Crimea walk to polling stations to cast their votes



Armed Russian troops guard the polling stations to protect the “integrity and fairness” of the vote.

No! Wait!



Ok… That’s more like it.

Screenshot Studio capture #1441“WTF? I need a Russian issued ID to vote???”


voting copy

Casting ballots on the question: “All Crimea Are Belong to Mother Russia?”


Screenshot Studio capture #1446

Exit Polls Show A Heavy “Da” Turnout


Screenshot Studio capture #1444

Although There Were Reports of Scattered “Nyet” Votes…


Screenshot Studio capture #1445

“Nyet” Voters Awaiting Relocation to Their New Siberian Home…


So my advice, in the future: put your money on Putin. Because remember:


so you can-WM

Now that Pooty has made it  clear how easy it is to call for  a (successful) secession vote, I just want to mention that it might start giving people around here ideas. And depending on which state votes, they may either vote to  join Mother Russia, or form their own new country.



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Sunday, March 16, 2014

If We Ban Bossy, Will They Take Their HOPE and CHANGE and Go Away?

For those of you who don’t think Big Guy works hard enough: here’s concrete evidence to the contrary. He pulled an all-nighter working on this marketing schematic B4 he tweeted it out:

are you invincible

Seriously, young-uns, Big Guy hates to be the one to deliver the bad news, butt you are NOT invincible; incredible? Yes:

The Incredibles

butt invincible? Nah. Not unless you’re a wise, bossy woman.

Clinton Libya

Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

And even then, you still need the government mandated (and subsidized, if you’re still a struggling 30-something law student) birth control.fluke

And let’s face it, nobody – not even Lady M - does wise, bossy woman like Hillary. She’s had the corner on it since her first term as co-President.

bill and hill healthcare

It wasn’t her fault that she wasn’t able to ram Universal Health Care (aka “Hillarycare,” aka “Obamacare”) down our throats: her staff let her down.

CLINTON HEALTH REFORMUniversal Healthcare: it should have been mine!

Pop Quiz: Where did this internal memo come from:

“As we discussed,” the memo reads, “the primary goal for this two day hearing would be to inculate ourselves from charges that we are refusing to listen to all those groups out there that want input.”

“Even though our primary goal is political inoculation,” they write, “we should not lose the opportunity for some public education. Some testifiers should be average people with horror stories, middle class families worried about the future, and senior citizens.”

Was it:

    1. Obama’s staff, talking about the “Affordable Care Act”
    2. Clinton’s staff, talking about the “Health Security Act”

Correct answer: 2. - Clinton’s (Hillary’s) staff, talking about the failed “Health Security Act” aka “Hillarycare.” A woman way ahead of her time; in case anyone has forgotten Obamacare was simply Hillarycare 2.0.

healthcare gb styleThe “dream” of universal healthcare as depicted at the London Olympics, 2012: who couldn’t relate?

obama-then-i-said-if-you-like-your-health-plan-you-can-keep-itnra I told you not to say that Boo-Rock!

Upon further “reflection,” maybe we should rethink our opposition to that “Ban Bossy” campaign. It might not be such a bad idea after all.


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