Saturday, May 25, 2013

Obama’s Naval Academy Commencement Address: “Sub-Optimal”

I don’t want to come right out and say that BO is losing it. But for a guy who has been regaled for his rhetorical gifts, has raised over $1 billion in campaign funds, and ran a political organization the envy of Tammany Hall, how else do you explain all these things?

Tell me, how can someone like Big Guy surround himself with so many incompetent people heading up so many agencies that keep coming up with such “suboptimal outcomes?”

For starters: an IRS staffed with senior management who either know nothing,


or are unwilling to tell us what they do know, for fear of incriminating themselves.

lerner nose in airLois takes the Fifth: Oh sure, now they all believe in the Constitution.

An Attorney General who knows even less,


and an ex-Secretary of State who doesn’t even know what difference it makes.

who gets stiches in their cheeks naturally

So Big Guy gets a chance to change the subject from a week of embarrassing non-testimony on the Hill about various scandals by addressing the graduates of the U.S. Naval Academy yesterday. And what does our Orator in Chief do? Give a soaring patriotic speech just ahead of the Memorial Day weekend? No. He goes off and gives a tone-deaf commencement lecture speech. Add our speech writers to the growing list of “sub-optimal.”

“Every day, elected officials like those on this stage, but also all across the nation, devote themselves to improving our communities and our country.

en_0416_cordes_480x360GSA Administrator Jeff Neely, chillin’ in Vegas, baby!

GSA WasteMr. Neely takes the Fifth

But all too often we’ve seen a politics where compromise is rejected as a dirty word, and policies are driven by special interests rather than the national interest.


And that breeds a cynicism that threatens our democracy.

Every day, our civil servants do their jobs with professionalism -- protecting our national security


and delivering the services that so many Americans expect.

tea audit copy

But as we’ve seen again in recent days, it only takes the misconduct of a few to further erode the people’s trust in their government.


That’s unacceptable to me, and I know it’s unacceptable to you.

hb WM
And against this backdrop, what I said here four years ago remains true today: Our military remains the most trusted institution in America.[ed. not to diminish that distinction, butt the competition is growing smaller all all the time] When others have shirked their responsibilities, our Armed Forces have met every mission we’ve given them. When others have been distracted by petty arguments, our men and women in uniform come together as one American team.

arlingtonAnd they always have

And yet, we must acknowledge that even here, even in our military, we’ve seen how the misconduct of some can have effects that ripple far and wide. In our digital age, a single image from the battlefield of troops falling short of their standards can go viral and endanger our forces and undermine our efforts to achieve security and peace.

benghazi bombingBoy, I’ll say.

benghazi-panetta dempseyAt least they didn’t take the Fifth

Likewise, those who commit sexual assault are not only committing a crime, they threaten the trust and discipline that make our military strong. That’s why we have to be determined to stop these crimes, because they’ve got no place in the greatest military on Earth.

Excuse me? Did I hear that right!? He’s lecturing the graduates of the U.S. Naval Academy about sexual assault? At their graduation ceremony!!?? Is that really appropriate, even if you are the man who can fix anything with his silver tongue?

Barack Obama Barack Obama Speaks Naval Academy 4Cz49oDHvDsxThe Commander-in-Chief man-handles one of the new female Naval Academy grads. I think that’s unacceptable.

When was the last time a Commander in Chief gave a political speech at a graduation ceremony of one of the Armed Services Academies? Oh yes, that would have been Big Guy, last year; at the Air Force Academy commencement.

“Our economy was in the worst recession since the Great Depression. Around the world and here at home, many questioned whether the United States still had the capacity for global leadership.”

“Today, you step forward into a different world,” Obama said, before implicitly giving his own policies credit for changing perceptions of American leadership and his nation’s position in the world. [ed. thanks to me]

Gosh, I don’t know what to make of all this. Maybe it’s time to go shopping for a new chair?

Screenshot Studio capture #1110This one’s too big…this one’s too small

“Okay, that one looks just right. And very presidential, even empty; I’ll take it.”

bo discusses issues with his empty chair_thumb[4]_thumb[1]

Of course, it looks far more presidential with a President in it.

reagan portrait

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, May 24, 2013

We Are the Enemy We’ve Been Waiting For.

This does not bode well for my future as MOTUS (Mirror Of The United States):


That’s right; simply by peering into the mirror, we have met the enemy and, shockingly, he is us.

obama-holder“We are the enemy we have been waiting for”

As always, the people responsible for this travesty will be held accountable, so I expect to receive my notice of (paid) administrative leave shortly.

Butt wait! I think I’ve found an IRS approved loophole!

You can’t really blame an empty chair can you?

EmptyChair mirror boAnonymous2jpgGood work MOTUS! - if I do say so myself.

With a h/t to Clint Eastwood, allow me to make my case for clemency with this little vignette I like to call  "It’s like talking to an empty chair":

Scene 1: the IRS

“Okay, which one of you two clowns authorized the IRS targeting of conservative groups for harassment?”

acting irs commissioner steven miller former irs commissioner douglas shulman

“It wasn’t us, Congressman. It was the empty chair, right here, that authorized it.”

“Look, the President said he didn’t even know about it until he heard it on Fox News.”

“Okay then, it was Lois.”

Screenshot Studio capture #1109

“I didn’t do anything wrong, and if he doesn’t have to answer questions then neither do I.”

Scene 2: Benghazi

“Our consulate is under attack by Libyan terrorists; our ambassador and his staff are in grave danger. Request permission to send in the Marines, Mr. President.”


“Mr. President?”

“I’ve got a fundraiser in the morning, Leon, get a hold of Valarie.”

val jar chair_thumb[4]

“Look Leon, you know I’m not leaving my fingerprints on that. Besides, I don’t have the ‘authority.’ Ask Hillary.”

hillary inquires about BHO nightly rounds

“Sorry Leon, you know Val’s rules; the empty chair is the only one who can do that.”


“Sorry Leon, wheels are up; you know I have to turn off all my portable devices now. Check in with me again after I’ve caught a few zzz’s.”

Scene 3: Spying on AP/Fox News

“Journalists should not be at legal risk for doing their jobs,” Mr. Obama said in a wide-ranging address on counterterrorism policy. “Our focus must be on those who break the law.”

Mr. Obama said he raised the issue with Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr., who he said shared those concerns and would gather representatives from news media organizations as part of the review. Mr. Obama instructed Mr. Holder to report back to him by July 12.

With the truth, the whole truth and nothing butt…

holder testifies copy

“This might get awkward, Ricky, so let’s just make sure your investigation doesn’t turn up any more embarrassing facts about this little wiretap exercise, Okay?”

“Of course Bo, we’ll only interview the people who know nothing.”

empty pres chair

I’m sure everything will turn out just fine. After all, Big Guy’s taking counsel from the best.

Lyndon_Johnson_Richard_Nixon_1968_th“Look Boo-Rock, a little advice: you’ve got to do more than assemble an enemies list. But not too much more.”

So in closing then: when Big Guy says “there’s no there there,” you can take him at his word. Literally.


Note to self: this might fall under the rubric of too much more:

bo-we are the enemy

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Thursday, May 23, 2013

Today’s Bonus Post: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

I do so love the smell of mendacity in the morning, don’t you?

lerner nose in airObama-nose-in-air1-275x300

“What's that smell in this room? Didn't you notice it, Brick? Didn't you notice a powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity in this room?... There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity... You can smell it. It smells like death.”      Big Daddy, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

h/t JWF

“Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault”

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in performance

Rome may be burning…

BenghaziGate“Up on the Roof”

Nero may be fiddling…

090121-obama-blackberry-vmed-4p“The Awful Truth”

and diddling…

Screenshot Studio capture #1108“Sweet Adonis”

Whoops! Sorry, that last one’s actually New York’s latest mayoral candidate, Anthony Weiner; welcome back codder!

Butt back to my story: While Rome burns, and Nero rests up for the next party:

obama sleeps"So Far Away”

The rest of the staff scrambles around to put out all those pesky little grease fires that keep  popping up now that the election is over:

irs logo organizing for america“Chains” – IRS targets

Screenshot Studio capture #1107“Read Between the Lines” - AP/Fox News

pigs-copy“One Small Voice” - (Breitbart vindicated)

sebelius2“It’s too late” – Obamacare on our heels

Well, I think you get the gist of the plotline. The show will be replayed in its entirety on Memorial Day on PBS: don’t miss it. Live, on tape, you’ll see James Taylor, Gloria Estefan, Billy Joel, Jesse McCartney, Emeli Sande, Trisha Yearwood, along with Carole King herself – it will be like you were right there, at the huge party!


Carole was the historic first female winner of the distinguished Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. And here’s why:  (h/t Keith Koffler)

Oh, and you’ll also get to see our very own “Natural Woman,” Lady M, “rock(ing) a polished little black dress, with her face-framing bangs back in full force.” Tell me that won’t just cap off your holiday weekend. Gosh! I wonder which one of her slimming little black dresses she wore!?


Inquiring minds want to know – more than they want to know what happened with the Mexican gun runners, the “spontaneous demonstration” in Benghazi, the IRS scrutiny of Tea Party groups, the wiretapping of the press, or the Pigford payoffs.

I’m going with a retread of our 4-ply “Where the Rubber Meets the Load” frock from 2010.

chci awards galaOur “Natural Woman” demonstrates how to “Carry Your Load”

What do you think?

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Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Ignorance is the Best Operative Defense

When Lady M addressed the graduating class at Nashville’s Martin Luther King Jr. Academic Magnet High School last week she reminded them that failure was a part of life – no matter who you are:

“And then there’s this guy Barack Obama ... he lost his first race for Congress, and now he gets to call himself my husband.”

mo mlk jr magnet schoolLucky him

“I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.”

Well, now it looks like Congress is considering calling her up to testify on the Hill, as they can’t seem to locate another soul who’s willing to talk about any of BHO’s failures to date, let alone all of them.

Meanwhile Val Jar is circling the wagons in the West Wing to fend off any more unfounded attacks by the Republicans on this President who knows nothing until he reads it in their tabloids.  (Note from yesterday: there won’t be any official “scandals” until our lapdogs say so. Until then they will continue to report only about “mistakes that were made” by underlings and any other “bumps in the road” that happen to come up.)

I can save Congress’ time though; I assure you that Lady M, like everyone else around here, will take the Fifth. Besides, if they want real info, they’re going to have to talk to Val, she’s the only one who really knows what’s going on around here. And she intends to keep it that way. Ignorance being the best defense and all.

nixon-obama menage-a-trois-watermark copyFrom What Didn’t He Know, and When Didn’t He Know it?”

Butt yikes! That revelation about the Justice Department treated the newsgathering activities of James Rosen at Fox News as an unindicted co-conspirator in a potential crime probe has even our loyal lapdogs chasing their own tails (tales?).

They really have no one but themselves to blame for this, even if they hadn’t been born yet when Watergate took place. I know for a fact that Watergate is the one piece of American history they still teach in college to this day. So it should have been “perfectly clear” when Big Guy kept saying “let me make this perfectly clear” that everything to follow would be as opaque as anything that ever came out of Richard Nixon’s administration. And normally the claim from the White House that this was going to be the most transparent administration evah! would have served as an alarm bell that the whitewash was on back order. In any other administration the press might have considered that a challenge of sorts; like Gary Hart’s Monkey Business.

So you can imagine how disconcerting it’s been for BHO and other members of the inner guard to find our own JournOlists, First Amendment watchdogs and government transparency advocates all ganging up on what’s left of Big Guy’s propagandists apologists.

Watch the Head Cheerleader appreciate your questions, for which he has no answers

Poor Jay; he’s a mouthpiece, not a philosopher. So his head spins trying to make sense of  the wisdom of Donald Rumsfeld’s existential truths of life:

There are known knowns; there are things we know that we know.

There are known unknowns; that is to say, there are things that we now know we don't know.

But there are also unknown unknowns – there are things we do not know we don’t know.

The way things are going, he’d probably be better off just sticking with the old Ron Ziegler line of defense:

"This is the operative statement. The others are inoperative."

Boy, if Watergate happened today, Woodward and Bernstein would have been prosecuted for extortion and Katherine Graham would have been fired. Butt then, we wouldn’t get to enjoy the sequel.

wgate-21Two punk reporters and a dog whistle-blowing co-conspirator blow up a presidency: that would make a great movie! Somebody call Spielberg.

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Press Drones On

Question: When does a Drudge story become a scandal?

Answer: When the MSM says so.

Question: When does the MSM say so?

Answer: 1) When it involves Republicans; and 2) When it’s about them.

Maybe the next time I try to explain to our lapdogs exactly how that slippery slope thing works they will pay attention. They didn’t much mind confining other people’s freedom of speech. Butt now, it’s about them.


twittercensored-375x192No, you shut up!

How else to explain the Media’s sudden interest in the Federal Government’s abuse of power? They weren’t the least bit captivated by Fast and Furious (Gun running to Mexican cartels? No story there), Pigford (Massive fraud at USDA? Pass, story’s got no legs), Extortion 17 (Suspicious downing of helicopter filled with Navy Seals? Lunatic rightwing conspiracy theorists!) or Benghazi (Another case of bad, no good, customer service; now go away.)

Still, the IRS snafu (Illegal targeting of conservatives? Oh oh, that’s really not good is it?) gave them pause.  And then, the AP story broke (phone/wire taps at AP headquarters? – wait a minute! You spied on the Press! I might have to report this!).

And now: James Rosen being investigated as a “co-conspirator” – for the crime of reporting a crime? James Rosen, a Fox News reporter? A reporter?!? I don’t care where he works!

Okay cowboy, now you’ve gone too far.

No, not you, cowboy -


You, there, in the black hat (is that racist? Maybe I should check with Eric Holder):


Seriously, you know you’ve stepped into the deep manure when Brit Hume, Occupy Wall Street and everyone in between is on the same page.


Screenshot Studio capture #1095


Screenshot Studio capture #1099

Screenshot Studio capture #1096Screenshot Studio capture #1097Screenshot Studio capture #1100Screenshot Studio capture #1101Screenshot Studio capture #1102(normally that means it’s up to the Press to argue it for him)

And here’s my all time personal favorite, from a man who has abused the power of the free press more than anyone I can think of:

Screenshot Studio capture #1105

Apparently this is now officially shameful.


I overheard Ricky and Big Guy talking it over yesterday. Ricky said “How are we going to get out of this mess, BO?”  Big Guy said “What do you mean ‘we’ black man?”

obama-cowboyThe Drone Ranger

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