Saturday, October 22, 2011

Inside Lady M’s Closet: If it Zips, it Fits

Ok, Ok. I tried to ignore this since everyone under the sun, including people who don’t know fashion from fiduciary, have already covered it. Butt it’s a slow news day, so I’ll recap Lady M’s fashion tips which I know you’re all familiar with.

1. Mix it up.

Captain America tights, buckaroo bandito bandana, backwards forwards sweater/shirt and Prada shades. Crazy mixed up! Genius.

motennis2She’ll get it when she’s a little older

To be fashion forward you sometimes have to mix it up…backwards;

backwards sweater shirtbackwardsspacelaunchbackwards

…and reverse belted

shar pei brown paper coastreverse tiedrrt not offered at harvard law either

and sometimes mixing it up is simply an inspired, inexplicable blend of florals and graphics:


dem natl comm wmns leader forumtownhall mtg childhood obesity 4-7AP110413033439

Magical. You’ll get it when you’re older too.

2.Wear what you love. This is an easy one!

Too easy, really.

thisfitbetterlast weekheistohdear

mo to NYCtypenningtonmichelle-obama-skinny-jeans_thumbmichelleobama-bananarepublictotemarcmo-hawaii

I’m feelin’ the love. Butt it is fickle.

3. Be practical about what you wear. Mrs. O says she checks the weather and her schedule before deciding on an outfit. If she's playing in the grass with kids, she's probably not going to choose a skirt or a revealing top.

The operative word here is “probably”:

myrtilla miner kids


huggsnuclear waste gardendirt on leghot aprilnationalssoccer4


Bonus question: when IS it appropriate for a FLOTUS to wear revealing clothes?

BFdJwB3EcLdWugtlBgoEZFshawlpleasesilver streak

When you want to look “hawt,” of course

4. The perfect shirt is critical. Make sure you can move and feel good in one investment blouse.

          1,2,3,ruffles and bowsfan beltx

I’m presuming that this is the “Won” Lady M is talking about, as it “fits” perfectly. It is not exactly optimal for the “Let’s Be Moving” part however, as the “fit” parts seem to get in the way of the “move.” Here are a few of Lady M’s other investment shirts that might be a better bet for that.

    orange sorbetproportionsmo big bo

Investment shirts should also be appropriate to the occasion and perfectly proportioned.

And of course, there’s this one that is both a perfect fit and perfect for MOving in, so maybe this is the one Lady M was referring to:

                  OBAMA/mo car grand canyonmo grand canyon-2

5. Don’t obsess about your clothes, be practical about them, and make the people around you your focus.

Because Lady M is all about making the people around her the focus. And she consistently chooses clothes that communicate that fact:

           hot messmamarun across america


      hula3dancin'vee vant to pump you up

This is so-oooo not about me!


I would like to thank our sponsors: Goldman Sachs, the POWS, the DNC, and Capital One  - all of whom have made it possible for the Visigoths to occupy the Big White,  plunder the Country and still manage to provide useful fashion advice to the little people.


Capital Won: What’s in your closet?


h/t Mommy Life

Linked By: Clarice on PJ Lifestyle, and Barbara Curtis @ Mommy Life, and Bookworm Room, Thanks!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Winning The Future With Some MOves On Our 2012 Ticket. WTF?

I know many of you are feeling sorry for Big Guy: he spent so much time personally crafting his JOBS JOBS JOBS bill while he was supposed to be taking it easy on vacation, and now he can’t even get support from all of his previously unwavering  Democratic sycophants supporters in Congress. bo helloThanks Guys! I never thought I’d get this many notches in my gun!

Sure, he got a little boost yesterday by whacking Qaddafi, butt how long can that last? Not long enough. That’s another thing, our timing isn’t as good as it should be either. We needed this hit NEXT October, not this October. I blame Hillary.

Butt I just want to let you know that you don’t have to be concerned about the JOBS bill. See, in politics “NOT passing the bill now” is what’s known as a “win-win.” We don’t actually have to spend the $35 billion that we don’t have and can’t afford, (and then have to hear about that from the Tea Party now until the election) butt it also provides us with continuing optics vilifying the heartless R-words right through next November. Big Guy can haul his Big Black Canadian Bus all over the country for the next 12 months, blaming the R-words for causing an increase in rapes, robberies and murders as well as the continuing recession.

You may recognize this game from way back in ‘09 when a variation of it was deployed, successfully, in order to coerce the loyal opposition into jumping on board with Obamacare.

strawman bingoStrawman Bingo: Washington’s existential game of rhetorical nihilism.

Butt this time it’s even better. Every single R-word is a straw man that must be fought to the death: and like the zombies they are, they just won’t die. The entire charade provides impressive optics, and it doesn’t cost a dime!

strawman r-wordsRepublicans want to fire cops, teachers, fireman, throw granny over the cliff and kill your babies with poison air and water. Otherwise, they would pass my JOBS bill NOW!

Which reminds me: I think I’ve figured out why Joey B has been so testy lately. Have you seen our new campaign bumper stickers?

obama No “BO and Joe, together again?” No “The WON and the DUMB re-run?” Just BarackObama? No wonder Joey sounds like he’s been off his meds lately.

And it seems even Politico is making fun of him openly now. Did you see their article: “Joe Biden ‘Plugs’ Job Bill” ? That’s just mean.

As Politico went on to explain, Joey went on a tirade on Capital Hill, striking fear into Americans’ hearts by telling them that we’re all going to be raped, robbed and murdered because the heartless Rebublicans won’t pass another “temporary” stimulus bill to fund cops, firefighters and - most important – teachers. “There’s nothing temporary about kindergarten being eliminated … There’s nothing temporary about a life saved during a home invasion or a robbery…about your house burning to ground,” he told the crowd in some of the most fiery rhetoric we’ve every heard from Joey B. Alas, I’m afraid the only thing “temporary” around here might be, well, Joey.

joey“Yeah, just stand there and WTF for us, Joe.”

Wow! If Joe’s not on the ticket next time around that does open up a lot of possibilities doesn’t it?


eva and juan3 Do the names Eva and Juan Peron mean anything to you?

          eva and juan.2bmp

Funny, I would have expected to see the Perons behind bars first.

I may need to update Lady M’s plausible denial of political aspiration from last summer should one of these finalists in the 2012 bumper sticker sticker contest turn out to be the Chosen Won:



WON&TON copy
And you thought Lady M was getting down to fighting weight just for Big Guy! Sweet thought, butt the truth is she’s expecting to have even more “skin the the game” than last time around. And with distinguished scholars like Thomas Sowell (although I’ve heard he was another one of those Uncle Toms) saying things like “Herman Cain is more Black than Big Guy” we are going to need all the racial authenticity that Lady M can bring to the party. After all, Big Guy didn’t marry her just for her good looks and charm:

To the laughter of the service people he added, "See for you men out there who are not yet married, let me explain. The whole goal is to marry up--to try to improve your gene pool."

bo mo pump truck

I think Granny can turn these pumpkins into big black motor coaches Buh-rock. Otherwise, we’ll just have Chef turn them into pies.


bo mo smoochie

Sweet: The Original and Best WTF Team


Linked By: Chickaboomer, Thanks!