Saturday, February 2, 2013

“Skeeter” Obama on a Unicorn Hunt at Camp David

THIS JUST IN: updated

The Big White has released a picture purporting to show President Obama "skeet shooting" at Camp David. The White House also warns all you mischievous internet types to not mess around with the picture:

"This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House."

barry skeeter copy

Butt nobody said anything about Trans-imaging!!!

Warning: People along the eastern seaboard are cautioned to keep their unicorns inside for the foreseeable future.

Big Guy’s Bubble Shot Gun is part of a larger collection of Bubble Gum Guns (made in China, of course):

Gun_Bubble_Gum_fruity_toy_bubble_gum

BUBBLE GUM M-16

 

barry skeeter-2 copyI’m Barack Obama, and I do not approve this ad.

not shoot dog copyI’m Andrew Breitbart, and I do.

Linked By:  Doug Powers on Michelle Malkin, and iOwnTheWorld, and Joanne on twitter, and Moonbattery and The Daily Paul, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Winds Of Jihad, and THE-MONK on TheBlaze, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic,Thanks!

Shadows of Groundhog Day

Ever since the release of the seminal Groundhog Day movie, February 2 has become synonymous with a type of recurring déjà vu. The movie veers into Nietzsche's eternal recurrence of the same, Camus' Myth of Sisyphus – and even the possibility of man becoming a god-like Superman. Boy, does this have “BHO’s” fingerprints all over it or what?

So I dedicate this Groundhog Day redux to our Glorious (and possibly god-like) Leader and Shadow-Master: without his most transparent administration ever we would not be able to see through the fog of government. Won’t you please join me in enjoying, again, some previous  Groundhog Day celebrations:

From March, 2010:

Starting early this morning; it was Groundhog day all over again. Honestly, I think Big Guy has milked this signing of the Obamacare bill for all it’s worth. This is like, what, the 12th time he’s inked it? Lincoln only had to sign the Emancipation Declaration once. FDR only signed the Social Security Bill once. What’s up with Big Guy? Do we not have enough photo-ops around here?

Friday, February 1, 2013

With OJT Anyone can be a Secretary! Typing optional.

We’re introducing a bill today to provide funding for a new on-the-job-training (OJT) program for all new Cabinet members.

“If Confirmed, I intend to learn about the Defense Department.”

BO is a big proponent of the earn-while-you-learn approach to education, having benefited from the approach himself. For example, when he decided to become a community organizer instead of getting a real job, even though he had a Bachelors Degree (somewhere) in something from Columbia, he was tutored by the best.

obama-alinsky

Then, after he went back to school and collected a law degree from Harvard, he decided to become a writer rather than take a high-paid job as corporate lawyer where they expected you to work 60-80 hours a week. He once again received some OJT from a mentor that was assigned to help him uh, edit his, uh, “autobiography.”

dream from my father

And when it came to running the most powerful country on earth, Big Guy again availed himself of all the OJT he needed.

blago bo daleyRod Blagojevich, Big Guy and Richard Daley go over the basics of Power 101

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Qatar Hero Algorical Returns to Explain his Theory of Everything

I guess you can call this progress: we’re not blaming Bush for the economic non-miracle on Main Street anymore. From now on, we’ll be blaming tsunamis, hurricanes and other natural disasters:

ObamaWins4_20121107_064639

As well as “strong headwinds.” Specifically strong headwinds kicked up by all those wily weepubwicans in the House who are hampering our economic recovery.

I’m still stunned. How could the GDP have dropped so precipitously in just one quarter when our jobs! jobs!jobs! numbers have been so strong? Either the Republicans’ politics of destruction are worse than we thought, or the GDP is a less perfect measure of the economy than we thought.

I’ve found someone who can shed some light on the situation that’s causing gridlock on the Potomac: Algore. In addition to being an acclaimed computer scientist (and co-inventor of the internet), politician (and winner of the popular vote in the 2000 presidential election), climatologist (and co-inventor of anthropogenic global warming), and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Al has recently bolstered his resume with the added titles of greedy capitalist, sociologist and philosopher-king.

So who better to offer his insight, as he did on his Morning Joe appearance to hawk his new book, The Future? Al waxed eloquently on everything, including the latest scientific theory on the DNA determined predestination of liberals and conservatives:

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A Needed Stimulus For Our Robust Keynesian Recovery

News Alert: Economy Shrinks in the Fourth Quarter, 2012 – unexpectedly, of course.

bo's empty chairBig Guy, Te’oing the Recovery

What? I thought we would be in the middle of a massive Keynesian recovery by now; that’s what swept Big Guy to reelection, right?

I guess the the economy in retrograde is good news for Senator Mary “I am not going to keep cutting the discretionary budget, which by the way is not out of control, despite what you hear on Fox News”  Landrieu, however.

Although it looks like we may have a bigger problem than Fox News, this latest economic report does clear the way for Mary and her fellow Dems to increase “discretionary spending.” After all, unemployment checks and food stamps are the only arrows they have left in their quiver to “stimulate” the economy.

"It is the biggest bang for the buck when you do food stamps and unemployment insurance. The biggest bang for the buck,"  Nancy Pelosi, 7-06-10

This fallacious-on-its-face recovery technique is known by various names around the globe. The European style model is called the “Broken Window” recovery; closer to home it’s known as the “Retail Therapy Recovery”

the more you spend

 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Life’s Not Fair. But We Can ACT Like It Is.

It’s feel good Tuesday and to be honest it’s getting harder and harder to find things that can accommodate this category.

Butt as I was purging my hard drive this morning of all superfluous Sundance-Hollywood-movie related images and viruses I did find this, that I think may do the trick:

Awards Affirmative ActionGloria Steinem and Marlo Thomas

s-MARLO-THOMAS-largeThe case for aging naturally: Gloria wins, if we were still allowed to keep score

Here we have author and activist Gloria Steinem with actress, author, and activist Marlo Thomas on deck, discussing one of today’s most pressing issues: gender issues in Hollywood. Specifically, whether the trend towards gender neutrality (which Gloria practically invented) should be extended to the field of acting by eliminating the distinction and recognize them all as simply “actors.”  That would eliminate separate “best actor” and “best actress” prizes and allow men and women to compete against each other for the “best actor” award. That seems sexist on it’s face to me, butt what do I know?

Monday, January 28, 2013

SAGging Towards Gomorrah

Of course there are other stories in the news. For instance, the F-16s we’ve giving to the Muslim Brotherhood, the “politics make strange bedfellows” 60 minutes interview with BO and Hills (featuring that contagious laugh of the wise woman of State), the court rulings against BO’s non-recess appointments and his EPA mandate to use non-existent biofuels, and Big Guy’s latest attempt to silence Rush Limbaugh and the Fox News Network.

Butt I know that what you’re really interested in are the SAG Awards handed out last night, so here goes.

It’s hard to believe that the Golden Globes were handed out just two weeks ago, butt what a difference! Let’s start with the Most Improved Award, which goes hands down to Jessica Chastain:

  jessica c in calvin kleinjessica chastain

Lift and separate, lift and separate! If it weren’t for the fact that you can tell she has an inny this look would be a complete winner.

First runner up, same category, goes to Nicole Kidman:

nicole-kidman-keith-urban-golden-globes-2013-red-carpetnicole-kidman-sag-awards-2013

For one thing, she left her urban cowboy home last night. For another, her gown was embossed with floral appliques instead of studs, so that’s a winner right there. As an aside, I’m not buying that Nicole’s strawberry blonde hair is real any more than I believe this is Lady M’s:

michelle_obama_bangs_wh1

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Sundance 2013: It’s a Wrap

Well, we officially wrapped up the 2013 Sundance Festival last night with the Awards Ceremony. As in previous years, there were precious few films deserving of rewards, butt that’s never stopped the Awards Committee before and it didn’t this year either. Besides, it’s a necessary formality, and the excuse for one last extravagant party before Park City rolls up the red carpet along with the sidewalks and settles down as a ski resort for the balance of the winter.

Dusk View of Park City Glowing

Sundance came to its official close this year as Joseph Gordon Levitt - who made his directorial debut this year with Don Jon's Addiction (hint, Porn)

159538863DM00022_An_Artist_Bobby with Joseph Gordon, as he prefers to be called now that he’s a director

- opened the awards ceremony by stating: "This isn't basketball. This is the movies. There are no winners and losers. This is art."

If he really believes that, it may explain a lot of the unwatchable movies (including his) screened each year at Sundance. In fact though, I think he only said it because his porn-art movie didn’t win.

Anyway, right after announcing the middle-school policy of no-losers, we’re all equal around here,  Mr. Levitt proceeded to announce which of this year’s contenders are more equal than others in several film categories.

For people who talk about it incessantly, and with such admiration and reverence, these people seem to have no grasp of the meaning of irony.