Saturday, September 14, 2013

This Week’s Presidential Tracking Poll

Big Guy’s Really Big Brain Posse believe they’ve (finally) found a way to nullify the 22nd Amendment, thereby enabling Low Information Voters, aka morons, to elect him to a third term as el Presidente. And as far as Team-Obama arguments go, the one they’ve made up for decertifying the 22nd Amendment is better than most. It concludes that since the 22nd Amendment was ratified BO (Before Obama), not only was it the result of a suppressed black vote, butt it also denied Big Guy himself the opportunity to vote “present” - ipso fatso, it doesn’t apply to him.

So maybe I’m jumping the gun just a wee bit with my first ever “Post-22nd Amendment Nullification Presidential Election Poll” which pits Big Guy, former “Leader of the Free World” against Vladimir Putin, the new “Leader of the Free World.” Oh, I know what you’re thinking: “MOTUS, isn’t that going to start a whole new round of birther trouble for everybody?” I don’t really think so. I think by now everybody’s either totally onboard with Obama’s eligibility, or has decided that it doesn’t really matter. Oh, you were talking about Pooty?! Well, that is a horse of another color.


Don’t worry, I think we can get around it. We’ve got friends in the Politburo of Birth Records. And like I said, most people don’t think it matters anyway.

As always, Chicago Rules are in effect: vote early, vote often. No ID required.

And now, I have to run. My niece is getting married in a few hours on a beautiful bluff overlooking Lake Michigan!

lake michigan dunes

Since the wedding is outside on a sunny day next to a huge body of reflective water, naturally I packed by my standard issue sun deflection shield to avoid blinding the bride and groom:

reflector_descpCustom made blackout sun shades; can I say that?

Butt now I see it’s going to be unseasonably cool (damn you, Al Gorical!) so I have to hustle around to find something that will protect my circuits from the strong off-shore breezes and cool temperatures. I’d like something in a thermo-wrap that won’t make my butt look big. 

I’m liking this seasonal pumpkin shade I found at the nearby Cabelas, butt I don’t think it’s going to be cold enough for either the full thermal jacket or the the full thermal body wrap so I’m debating between the thermal vest and the thermal wrap skirt. Who knew I’d have so many choices!

Screenshot Studio capture #1339

I ask you, is America a great country, or what!?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Abby L Call, Carol Hegarty on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, September 13, 2013

Keep Carrying that Water: the Elephants need it.

water for elephants

Memories of a world filled with freaks and clowns, with wonder and pain and anger and passion; a world with its own narrow, irrational rules, its own way of life, and its own way of death. (snip) …everyone in this third-rate circus was lucky to have any job at all. - synopsis, Water for Elephants.

Lady M has turned her attention to another aspect of our life that needs governmental attention: water consumption. Accordingly, she launched a nationwide campaign yesterday in Watertown, WI.

(Lady M) through her "Let's Move!" initiative, and the Partnership for a Healthier America are bringing together a coalition from industry, entertainment, media and government to get behind the campaign.

The tagline of the campaign is deceptively simple — Drink Up.

drink me alice in wonderland

spagetti“I said, ‘drink up’”

A release from Michelle Obama's office said that according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "More than 40% of Americans drink less than half of the recommended amount of water daily, and approximately one-fourth of children don't drink any water on any given day."

251140-2011-hillary-clinton-toasts-hu-jintao Some adults don’t drink any water either.

Sam Kass, the executive director of Let's Move!, said: "Our core messages are that drinking more water is the fastest and easiest choice that we can make every day. ...Water is the original energy drink. This is a really exciting, fun and very positive campaign that is really going to inspire people to drink more water."

Screenshot Studio capture #1336Whatever

For example, did you know that playing sports outside in high temperatures without drinking adequate water can lead to dehydration? (signs: dry mouth, general disorientation)

oh babyWow! Look at MO’s form! She should throw out the first ball for Big Guy.

In fact, even non-contact, indoors sports  like the Halo Toss requires proper hydration:

Screenshot Studio capture #1335 Lest you become delusional

Lack of water effects everything; your judgment, for example:

mo back to schoolsThat’s funny, these gym clothes fit me perfectly this morning!

And bad judgment could lead you to chose all the wrong Forme Jacket Cuffins* for your activities:

  • four-way stretch Luon® fabric wicks sweat away from post-practice skin
  • fold over the cozy cuffins (cuff mittens - they're the best of both worlds) when your fingers get chilly
  • dropped hem gives you more coverage in the rear
  • secure zipper pockets for your phone, keys and cash
  • thumbholes help your sleeves stay in place
  • soft zipper garage helps keep your chin from getting chafed

Let’s just stipulate that four-way stretch anything on Lady M is a bad idea. Oh sure, it sounds like a good idea, what with those thumbholes to keep your sleeves in place. Butt unless there are big toe holes to hold your pants in place, I’m just telling you, they’re not a good idea for MO’s athletic build - if you catch my drift. Because if your clothes fit incorrectly (probably due to all that extra water weight) you will be uncomfortable, as will everyone around you.

Michelle Obama Michelle Obama Promotes Exercise lLiN3tBUprulShaq: some people make you smaller 

There is an odd coalition of supporters for MO’s latest initiative; the Partnership for a Healthier America is a nonpartisan, nonprofit group with backing from the beverage industry, media, government and entertainers like Eva Longoria.

eva-longoria-michelle-obamaEva: and some people make your larger – it’s the rabbit hole effect.

Butt file this under you can’t make everybody happy:

Environmental advocates say they're disappointed the campaign ignores concerns about plastic bottles ending up in waterways and reductions in federal funding for public water systems.

We applaud the first lady's initiative to encourage people to choose water over sugary beverages, but we do have concerns that this partnership is working in conjunction with the bottled water industry and wish that instead she were encouraging people to choose the much more affordable, more regulated option of tap water," said Emily Wurth, water program director for Food and Water Watch.

And, as always, there are critics who complain about all of Lady M’s good works, and cynics who question everything anybody does to save the world:

Nestle said the message that Americans don't drink enough water is questionable.

"I'm not aware of any nutrition science that backs that up ... there's so much water in food and in what people are eating that unless you're an elite athlete, at very high altitude or old where your thirst mechanism doesn't work very well, it's just simply a non-issue in my view," Nestle said.

It’s almost as if they think Lady M is just pimping these programs to promote an agenda, or something.

The latest campaign is backed by the American Beverage Association, which represents the makers of soft drinks, sports drinks, energy drinks and juices as well as bottled water, and the International Bottled Water Association.

Nestle said it actually helps the major soft drink companies, which have seen a decrease in soda sales and are investing heavily in promoting bottled water brands and other drinks, she said.

"This is a partnership with soda companies to promote their bottled waters," Nestle said.

I mean it’s not as if these companies are big campaign donors or anything, right? What? They are? Well, never mind.

In other news, this just in: Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been charged in France with proxénétisme aggravé or, as they say in Detroit, “aggravated pimping.” I’m not sure what that is, butt I’ll bet most of the people in our administration could be charged with it too.

Anyway, in parting, just remember Lady M’s wise words with respect to staying hydrated:

"Water is so basic, and because it is so plentiful, sometimes we just forget about it… Mrs. Obama said. "The truth is, water just gets drowned out."

flashfloodWe’re drowning here, people!

So all of you Obots out there: just keep drinking the Kool-Aide and carrying the water.

mo water jugs

The elephants are counting on you.

DUMBOS FOR OBAMA copy(This one’s for you, Robin)


Linked By: Abby L Call on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Death Comes to America

I see that 73% of the US casualties in our 12 year War in Afghanistan have occurred under the leadership of Our Nobel Peace Prize winner. Wow! Now that’s “Historic!”

How could that be, you ask? Some say it’s due to the new kinder, gentler, fairer, completely transformed rules of engagement imposed by our Nobel Laureate.

rules of engagement

I guess these rules will apply to any new theatre of war we stumble into as well. Syria, for example, should our “bigger than a pinprick, smaller than a bee sting” PMS retaliation plan not work.

Or if we chose not to follow the advice of the the new world leader, Vladdie, the Putinator.


Yep, it looks like Pooty decided to use that “reset” button that Big Guy’s former Secretary handed over to him. He was just waiting for the right moment.

reset_button090324Hoisted by our own peregruzka

You did read Pooty’s “peace in our time” plan, didn’t you, published (where else?) in America’s newspaper of record?

This is historic; not since Khrushchev pounded his shoe on the desk at the UN has America been lectured by an ex-KGB agent. Surely that wasn’t the intended outcome of our new improved, big brained foreign policy?

oops button

So, shortly on the heels of calling Big Guy’s current Secretary, Jean Carré, a liar, Russian President Putin goes on record in our newspaper of record to lecture our President on his use of rhetorical flourishes:

I carefully studied his address to the nation on Tuesday. And I would rather disagree with a case he made on American exceptionalism, stating that the United States’ policy is “what makes America different. It’s what makes us exceptional.” It is extremely dangerous to encourage people to see themselves as exceptional, whatever the motivation.


Goodness; forgive me for saying so, but doesn’t that seem a bit arrogant; dismissive, even derisive on his part? It’s almost as if Pooty is committed to pushing every one of Big Guy’s buttons – and as you know, he has lots of buttons.

ObamaMarketSegmentation2Market segmentation plan of Obama-for-America

I think our plan, so far, is to ignore him. And maybe start looking for a new marketing manager who can more effectively get our new message out:

War is Peace.


Freedom is slavery.


Ignorance is truth.


Got that? Good. We’ll be back with further instructions tomorrow.

obama-big-brother msnbc

2012-Winning-The-Future-WTFObama: Winning The Future since Khrushchev buried us.

Oh, and I nearly forgot: Lady M will be in Watertown today, promoting, wait for it…drinking water! Clever, no? Our PR director is going to get a big raise for thinking this one up. By government standards that’s a full scale bee stinger.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Helene Fagan Bidwell, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Sharon Cox, William J. Green, Clint Counts, Sandy Peterson on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Obama’s Syria Speech: The Red Queen’s Commentary

Alice_Red_Queen_6325“The Red Queen shook her head. "You may call it 'nonsense' if you like," she said, "but I've heard nonsense, compared with which that would be as sensible as a dictionary!” ― Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass


I did take notes during Big Guy’s Syrian argument/rebuttal last night. I must apologize, as they are a little sketchy; I figured that, as usual, I’d have a full hour of repetition in order to fill in the details. How did I know that he was going to wrap up the much-hyped contrapuntal speech on Syria in a mere 15 minutes? Let’s just say it was historic.

Barack Obama President Obama Addresses Nation etfmEbdra7ulIf the eyes are indeed windows to the soul, these black holes are a little spooky. (Can I say that?)

From what sounded more like a self-refuting argument than a presidential address, I have extracted the following “highlights.”

First, BO made a strong case for doing something (le petite military strike – PMS) – which he no longer has any intention of doing.

tiny manBeware of tiny men with tiny bombs

Then he made a strong case for why Assad had to go - just not now, and not by our hand.

He appealed to our emotions by eliciting visceral images of gassed victims, making the compelling case that chemical weapons are barbaric, cannot be tolerated and requires us to take an “unbelievably small” military action (PMS) – which we’re no longer planning to do.

“I will not put American boots on the ground in Syria. I will not pursue an open-ended action like Iraq or Afghanistan. I will not pursue a prolonged air campaign like Libya or Kosovo. This would be a targeted strike to achieve a clear objective, deterring the use of chemical weapons and degrading Assad’s capabilities.”

Next, he made the case that America is not the world’s policeman, before proceeding to explain why we need to be.

Then he told us all to chill; we need to give diplomacy a chance - which has always been his preferred course of action. It’s just that some damn fool drew a red line in the sand.

crayon in chief

In part because of the credible threat of U.S. military action, as well as constructive talks that I had with President Putin, the Russian government has indicated a willingness to join with the international community in pushing Assad to give up his chemical weapons. 



And finally, he told Congress to stand down, as we need more time to dither negotiate with the dictator and terrorists. Still, he reiterated that Congress must act to bless his evolving plans; butt put them on pause while he and his Really Big Brains can figure out our next move.

wargames-rca-1Choose your game

wargames3Okay then, Global Thermonuclear War it is!

wargames2Oh no! Not chess!! We’ve already seen how that turns out.



“It's a great huge game of chess that's being played—all over the world—if this is the world at all, you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I wish I was one of them! I wouldn't mind being a Pawn, if only I might join—though of course I should like to be a Queen, best.”

GayObamaOh yes, it’s good to be queen!

And I believe srdem65 promised us a report on Big Guy’s makeup, so I won’t comment on that.

In Memoriam: 9/11/01

world trade center siteNever forget

State_Department_Images_WTC_9-11_The_Twin_Towers_(Right)_thumb[2]Why we fight.



American security: It isn’t a game, Mr. President.

The Obamas and the Bidens commemorate 9-11-01 on the East Lawn, 9-11-13:BT4kmBdCEAAQTpk.jpg largePurple? Really? In remembrance? That must be a new fashion trend I’m unaware of.(h/t Zombie Dachshund

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and Andrea Shea King, and  Sandy Peterson, Faith Barger, Abby L Call, Lorie Anderson, Eloise Benjamin on facebook, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

We put our plans for a Petite Military Strike (PMS) on hold for now.

We rejoin Alice just after she drank the potion that made her small enough to slip down the rabbit hole:

curious alice

Since then, we marched to the brink of war with Syria only to be yanked back when Secretary of State Jean Carré downgraded it to le petit guerre. He advised us, and the world at the same time, that what we really had planned was not a war-war, butt an “unbelievably, small, limited” strike on Syria. More of a timeout than an armed conflict you see. And he promised we would only use very little planes,


and the tiniest of soldiers, if indeed, we were to put boots on the ground at all.


And even then, we’d try to confine it to the drum and bugle corps:


Big Guy wasn’t so keen on Jean Carré’s idea however, as he has a soft spot for drums, and little drummer boys.

       Screenshot Studio capture #1329The little drummer boy plays on

That’s when things really started getting curious: Jean Carré gave Syria a week to hand over it’s chemical weapons, or suffer the onslaught of le petit guerre, or as Big Guy – who doesn’t speak French calls it: a “Petite Military Strike”, PMS. 

Kerry said Assad might avoid an attack if he handed every bit of his chemical weapons stock, but added that the Syrian president was not going to do that.

Russia then jumped in to offer to broker the transfer of all chemical weapons into their stockpile hands. Then, even more curiously, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton jumped back into the fray to say that she’s taking Russia’s offer very seriously:

"This is about protecting the Syrian people... and our friends in the regions... If the regime immediately surrendered its stockpiles to international control... that would be an important step. But this cannot be another excuse for delay or obstruction,”

Although it’s unclear as to why anything Hillary has to say at this point is relevant, other than the fact she’s running for president in 2016. That, and the fact that Jean Carré gaffed us into another fine mess and the RBB’s (really big brains) hadn’t been able to come up with any other countermove to prevent the king from being cornered.

hillary drinking the potionI advised her against drinking the shrinking elixir, butt did she listen? Noooo.

So BO went on TV last night to say Russia’s offer could be a “breakthrough”  despite the fact the State Department has "serious and deep skepticism” of both Russia’s and Syria’s offers. and now this morning we hear that Syria has accepted Russia’s offer! Quelle surprise!

Nevertheless, Jean Carré, echoing his predecessor's words from yesterday, said today:

 "President Obama will take a hard look at it. But it has to be swift, it has to be real, it has to be verifiable. It can’t be a delaying tactic."

Well, at least we have our two Secretaries of State on the same page. And that’s where we stand for now, as far as I know.

So what have we learned from all this? As I’ve said before, “You go to war with the clowns you have, not the clowns you might want or wish to have at a later time.”

Where does that leave Le Petit Noir Prince? I’m not sure.

Screenshot Studio capture #1330

Butt I do know there’s a moral to this story: never, ever, try to play dimensional chess if all of your players are either checkers or pawns.


If I may mix my metaphors a bit, that kind of clown parade will no doubt result in your black king being trumped by somebody who’s playing with a full deck.

If you catch my drift.

Screenshot Studio capture #1309

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Clarice Feldman, and @ValCSilver on twitter, and Mireille Buser, Abby L Call,Florence Rowe Koehler, John Robert, Patricia Redd Dobbs, Charlotte Crain, Vicki Conant-Weir, Ken Butt, Morton A. Goldberg Dvm, Kathleen Franklin Avant on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network