Saturday, June 9, 2012

If you like your economy, you can keep your economy-UPDATED

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: This post was given the 1st Place Award by Adrienne’s Corner:

Butt, the first place award goes to MOTUS, who reflected the real meaning of that miserable press conference with a depth of understanding only a mirror can produce - and we thank her.

Please join me in scampering over to Adrienne’s Corner to thank her for this truly magnificent award!

Lady M decided to lay low yesterday after Thursday’s trip to the pie store.

mo's purseI wish I’d brought a larger pie bag, I can only get two in this one.

Just as well, I had my hands full. I was called in to provide some optics for the Big Read and Presser. You probably saw my handiwork on your teevee:

Bo briefing. with columnsjpg

Did you see it?

       obama news conference setBo briefing. with columnsjpg

Stage left, no MOTUS optics, stage right, MOTUS enhanced gravitas

Due to the gravitas of the issues being discussed yesterday, Big Guy felt he needed to project a little extra awesomeness so he had me reflect his world famous Oracle of Delphi columns onto our stock stage set presidential podium backdrop:

Screenshot Studio capture #504

Because everyone remembers how well they worked the first time we used them:


Of course I had to scale them back a little. Butt I think yesterday’s historic “the private economy is just fine,” and “I’m insulted you would think otherwise”  presser went pretty well, don’t you? At least the optics end of it?

Although I’ve heard from Dewey’s Flatsimile Studios that I’ve violated Dewey’s copyright on the cartoon stage set he created for Big Guy:

dewey's flatsimile theatre2“Bitch stole my set!”

I’m hoping to negotiate an out of court settlement, and since I’ve retained Dewey as my attorney I’m pretty sure I can.

Anyway, I just thought I should point out that everyone missed the real news in yesterday’s presser:

Today, we’re fighting back from the deepest economic crisis since the Great Depression.

bo eurozonewith no exit in sight

We’ve created 4.3 million jobs over the past 27 months. The private sector is doing fine.

bo economy finedoin’ fine there

Where we’re seeing problems is with state and local government,

bo govt needs more stimulusnot so fine here

often with cuts initiated by governors or mayors who are not getting the kind of help they’re accustomed to from the federal government.

bo no pouting in politicsreally, really not fine


The big challenge we have in our economy right now is state and local government hiring has been going in the wrong direction.  You've seen teacher layoffs, police officers, cops, firefighters being laid off…

oftentimes, cuts initiated by governors or mayors who are not getting the kind of help that they have in the past from the federal government and who don’t have the same kind of flexibility as the federal government in dealing with fewer revenues coming in. 

The problem is that it requires Congress to take action, and we're going to keep pushing them to see if they can move in that direction.

So,while everyone’s yapping about “the private sector is doing fine” comment, they missed the big point of Big Guy’s message: without government there is no economy.

Let’s connect the dots: a) the economy is in the dumpster, b) the private sector is doing fine, and c) state and local government hiring has been going in the wrong direction, ipso fatso, we need to send more federal money to state and local governments to avoid the lay off of any more public employees.

Got it? The Economy = Government. The economy is only bad because public employment is down; the private sector is robust (with the exception for that teeny little segment called “construction” butt that isn’t really all that important).

Of course that’s a lie an exaggeration: partially true only through the miracle of government mathamagicals which un-counted all the jobs lost during Big Guy’s first year in office (because those must have been Bush’s fault, right?)and counts all temporary (e.g. Census) and part-time jobs. And although almost everyone else knows our “robust” jobs numbers were achieved by magic tricks, Big Guy really thinks the private sector jobs number is robust. Like the Wisconsin re-call results, nobody really wants to tell him.

Butt I digress: the truth is Big Guy really, really believes the economy IS the government sector. Or at least that’s his vision for the economy. There’s a term for that, what is it again? Oh yes: “Socialism.”

socialists of the world-poster-500x635


Butt after that, all holy-hell broke loose - damn, that RRRT (Romney Rapid Response Team) is fast –


… and Big Guy had to calm things down a little:

The president walked back the comment later in the day. ""It is absolutely clear that the economy is not doing fine," he said. "That's why I had a press conference."


“Let me make this perfectly clear.”

Well, we did the best we could. It’s not as easy to walk something back as you might think. Just ask the Big Dawg.

Anyway, after that, the day was on a definite upswing. The Giants were here to celebrate their NFL Superbowl championship, followed by a swanky $40k/plate fundraiser.

Let’s check in with the 24/7 BO-tie economic indicator cam for an instant read:

blowin in the wind bo-tie nfl superbowl champs Definitely on an uptick. Either that, or it’s just blowing in the wind.

Linked By: Adrienne’s Corner With 1st Place Award!!!, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and MRM on twitter,  and Lara Martinez on twitter, Thanks!

Friday, June 8, 2012

Barry and Kumar

As the Congressional Intelligence Committee investigates major and dangerous high level security leaks, House Oversight Committee Chairman Issa continues hearings on “Fast and Furious:” 

Ricky explains to Jason Chaffetz what the meaning of “is” is.

and and the House Judiciary Committee grills Ricky on the DOJ’s refusal to uphold voter ID laws

Big Guy was busy tending to the important presidential responsibilities: raising awareness of his need to raise money for the upcoming battle with the R-words. Here’s the group of young Hollywood gazillionaires he met with yesterday to make sure they’ve got his back. He needs them to help him get out the youth vote and to fill that quickly depleting campaign war chest.

young hollywood and bo includes jessic alba and Kal Penn and sophia bushYoung Hollywood gets an early morning call for “Breakfast with Barack”

This week’s New strategy: getting out the celebrity youth vote.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the meeting was part of the Obama re-election campaign’s “Young America Effort,” an initiative to build support and turnout among the younger voters who were key to the president’s election four years ago

Because, as we’ve discussed before, that’s where the money is. And they have the best access to the most malleable minds of mush.

Plus, it’s looking like there may not be enough registered dead Democratic voters to pull off a convincing victory, so we’re hoping young Hollywood will help us sign up a new constituency of as-yet unregistered voters: the pre-dead, pre-adults. That’s right, tweens! After all, who has more at stake in America’s future than tweenagers?

National Building Museumwillow smith white house easter egg roll 2011

Justin Bieber at Winter Holiday Party, Willow Smith (then 10) performing at Big White 2011 Easter Egg Roll

So we’ve launched an (unofficial) campaign to make sure they all get a chance to register and vote for Big Guy in November too. Because after all, we just want to make sure that every one – regardless of sex, race or age - gets a fair shake to cast their fair share of votes.

Anyway, some of the young stars of Hollywood that Big Guy had breakfast with include – well, probably nobody you know:

Among those who met with the president were The Avengers star Jeremy Renner, Glee actress Dianna Agron, Star Trek's  Zachary Quinto, Southland's Ben McKenzie, Jessica Alba, Bryan Greenberg, Adam Rodriguez, Zach Braff, Brandon Routh, Ian Somerhalder, Jared Leto, Kal Penn and Sophia Bush

…whoa! Hold the phone! Kal Penn!?


Kal Penn, star of the small and large screen Kal Penn? Kal Penn, the actor that Big Guy is a huge fan of, and vice-versa, Kal Penn? Wow!  Big Guy admires Kal’s work so much he even created a special job for him in the Big White. He had to leave after a few months to spend more time on his career, butt still.

You may know Kal not from his Big White duties butt from his starring roles in the hugely successful modern day adaptations of the original Choomer Cheech and Chong flicks, the adventures of Harold and Kumar:

    display433harold and kumar white castleharold-kumar-christmas-2

I’m not looking to start any rumors here or anything, butt I have heard discussions about the possibilities of Big Guy teaming up with Kal again on a future project:

barry & kumar copyBrought to you by the creator of the hit movie “Dude. Who Stole my Choomwagon?” Opening sometime after November 6, 2012.

Well, I’ve got to run. We’re setting up for a rare, unannounced presser. I think Big Guy will be reading about the economy, intelligence leaks and the do-nothing Congress. I’ll explain tomorrow why I have to be there.

Oh, and for the record: if there’s any lingering doubt in your mind as to whether Billy Bob Clinton is suffering from senility due to his misremembering the requirements for when we have to deal with taxes and spending issues, – which lead to his sincere apology - Charles Krauthammer explains his word salad here. 

And I’d just like to remind you that, unlike Big Guy, the Big Dawg didn’t inhale.



Oh and speaking of choomwagons, I know you already discussed this yesterday:

mo mama

Butt despite our ongoing embargo on rear end views here’s yet another leaked document from the Big White: a photo of Lady M getting her choomba into the choomwagon. Now I think someone will finally get to the bottom of these leaks.

Linked By: Moonbattery, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Lady Liberty 1885, and Blonde on News Busters, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GretteWire, Thanks!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

We Triple bogeyed Wisconsin, butt we’re still swinging. Fore-ward!

Dateline New York, June 6. 12:00 noon, Pierre Hotel: fundraiser.

Lady M is introduced to her fans by Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg.

First-Lady-Michelle-Obama-Caroline-Kennedy-Schlossberg-White-House-Historical-Association-50th-Anniversaryfile photo: we all know the rules re. photos at fundraisers

Most of you know my story by now.

Yesand a fine story it is:

My father was a blue-collar city worker at the city water plant [and Democratic ward captain in the Daley machine], and my family lived in a little-bitty apartment on the South Side of Chicago. My mother still lives there. My bedroom looks exactly the same. (Laughter.)

Apparently they all know that Granny “still living there” is a joke too.

Same bed sheets, same pictures on the wall. (Laughter.)

Granny’s turned Lady M’s room into a shrine!

Grannyr voodooAdmission will be reasonable.

And like so many people in this country, my father took great pride in being able to earn a living that allowed him to handle his business, handle his responsibilities, to pay his bills -- all of them -- and to pay them on time.

And really, everyone, what we have to remember is that more than anything else that is what’s at stake in this election.

I could be wrong but I think an awful lot of people are well aware of the fact that this is what’s at stake in the November election.

Dateline Philadelphia,  June 6. 3:15. Campaign workers rally.

mo nat'l constitutions cntr

I Red heart Lady M rally

Where we donned another fashion forward color block dress and mini-me sweater in colors similar to the one we wore a couple months back on the Letterman show.

mo color blocked on letterman

This must be a trendy color scheme. The new Nike “Terminator” comes in the same colors:


CNN reports:

Touting the passage of health care reform, the improving economy and the withdrawal of troops in Iraq as examples or her husband’s achievements in office, Obama told the crowd to “make sure that people know that all of this — and so much more — is at stake this November.”

We’re really into sweepstakes. But there’s “so much more”

“And in the end, it all boils down to one simple question: Will we continue the change we’ve begun and the progress we’ve made, or will we allow everything we’ve fought for to just slip away?” she said.

Do I hear a vote for “slip away?” Anyone? Wisconsin? Anyone?

Walker forward6512_768x576On Wisconsin!

Predicting a close race, Obama told the crowd her husband “can’t do this alone.”

obama-snow-white-house Or can he?

bo clean deskPresident Barack Obama sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office during a conference call with people of faith, August 19, 2009.  Official White House Photograph by Pete Souza.

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Well, maybe with a landline.

"When we need a leader to make the hard decisions to keep this country moving forward, you know you can count on my husband, your president, because that is what he has been doing every single day in the Oval Office as President of the United States.”

Every. Single. Day.


Making the hard decisions…


Moving the country forward:

bo football in the oval


gis-systemI wonder if I could move the capital to Honolulu?

march-madnessDamn! We’re going down.

obama_100days_12I said, go out for a long one. We’ll do Iran stuff later.

obama-oprahEveryone should carve out a little afternoon Oprah time. Don’t tell MO.

outer oval officeFriday before Super Bowl: preparations take place in the outer Oval Office

bo basketball ovalNo, no no. You’re holding it all wrong. Bet you can’t jump, either.

obama-beerHealing America’s racial divide, one beer at a time

obama-beer-white-houseThere’s nothing better after a hard day of implementing social justice than a good glass or two of Big White organic honey ale.

obama-reggie-loveTuesday Kill Meeting: Wow! A direct hit! This is even better than Xbox 720!

Shoot! Did I forget to write out my economic plan!?


It must have gotten lost on my desk.

Obama_Iraq_speech,_8_31_10_ with very clean desk__1

Oh well, TOTUS will come up with something.

bos-teleprompter-in-waiting totus

I’ll just catch a few z’s here in the sun.


Michelle and I have killer schedules again on Wednesday and Thursday.

Wednesday Jun. 6, 2012

9:20 AM

Obama departs the White House en route Joint Base Andrews.

9:35 AM

Obama departs Joint Base Andrews en route San Francisco, California.

11:45 AM

Biden travels to Winston-Salem, North Carolina and delivers remarks on the Administration’s efforts to create jobs in the United States.

12:00 PM

Michelle Obama delivers remarks at campaign event in New York City.

2:45 PM

Obama arrives in San Francisco, California.

3:15 PM

Michelle Obama meets with Obama campaign volunteers from the Philadelphia area.

3:20 PM

Obama attends a campaign event.

5:15 PM

Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event at the Julia Morgan Ballroom.

6:15 PM

Obama departs San Francisco, California en route Los Angeles, California.

7:20 PM

Obama arrives in  Los Angeles, California.

10:15 PM

Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.

11:55 PM

Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event


All aboard!
12:00 PM

Biden meets with Prime Minister Jyrki Katainen of Finland.

1:20 PM

Obama delivers remarks at a campaign event.

2:20 PM

Obama departs Los Angeles, California.

2:45 PM

Michelle Obama meets with Obama campaign volunteers from the Manassas area.

3:20 PM

Obama arrives in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Obama delivers remarks on college affordability.

5:00 PM

Obama departs Las Vegas, Nevada via McCarran International Airport.

5:15 PM

Michelle Obama attends a campaign fundraiser at a private residence


         All Aboard!                                     iOwnTheWorld

Linked By: Clarice Feldman on American Thinker, NOBO2012 on Free Republic, anyonebutbarry2012 on GrettaWire, Thanks!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Hark! A Sleeping Giant Wakes

“We have awakened a sleeping giant and have instilled in him a terrible resolve." Admiral Isaroku Yamamoto (h/t: PatAZ & LarryB)

Ireland's Sleeping Giant Island aka'The Dead ManThe sleeping Giant, off the coast of Ireland’s Dingle peninsula

Could it be? Could the pendulum – after tracing one of the longest arcs ever recorded in the history of America - possibly be swinging back? Finally?

There certainly were indications of that possibility last night from both fly-over and  - of all places - California!?! What’s up with that – the Tea Party isn’t even legal in California!

So here are the gory results from Wisconsin: despite voter turnout of 119% in Madison yesterday, Governor Walker still won the day handily (although I understand Ed Schultz is still counting the absentee ballots):

Walker  53 %

Barrett  47 %

Walker took 61% of the white working class workers (the group that, as I first reported last year, Big Guy’s big brains wrote off). I’m assuming Barrett took the union vote, including the ones from Illinois and Michigan. In the final analysis this turned out to be contest between the haves (public unions, whose pensions are 4.5 times larger than the private sector) and the have-nots (you, the taxpayer). Stunningly, the have-nots won this time.


So here we are, headed into our 3rd summer of non-recovery. Bubba, our Big Dawg in the fight keeps wandering off the plantation at will, and now - a crushing defeat to our Big Labor arm in Wisconsin. And California – our most periwinkle of blue states! That’s going to leave a mark.

Or not. I guess it’s not that big of a deal. We just need to move on. Butt you can tell nobody around here is very happy with the results that certainly aren’t Big Guy’s fault.

mo - 2Obama-Press-Conference-Frown-600x469

So we take solace where we find it. No, not the tea trolley, although it does have its role.  I’m talking about the triumph of Lady M’s fight to eliminate obesity and free-will in one generation through preachy government intervention. Butt, get ready; there will be those freedom loving outlier radicals like Lady Liberty 1885 who will be the buzzkill to our choom.

Here’s Lady M announcing Disney’s decision to cave to her vastly superior health knowledge by agreeing to ban all ads from it’s children’s programing that hawk sugary, salty food or drink.

With tight limits placed on calories, fats, sugar and sodium, many commercials for fizzy drinks, frosted cereals, sweets and sticky cakes would be eradicated from Disney networks.

mo a year of living magicallyIt’s been a year of living magically alright

This way mommy and daddy won’t have to explain to the wee wons why they can’t have unlimited amounts of sugary cereal, beverages, cupcakes and chips.


mo-mickey-mouse-kids-ignoringButt let’s not be spiking the ball

Obama hailed Disney’s move as a game-changer. “It’s huge. Just a few years ago if you had told me or any other mom or dad in America that our kids wouldn’t see a single ad for junk food while they watched their favorite cartoons on a major TV network, we wouldn’t have believed you,” she said.

I’m pretty sure she isn’t the only one who never would have believed it:


So amidst all the gloomy news, we’re grateful for this victory to flaunt. Because it seems like people are going out of their way now to sling bows and arrows in our direction. It certainly isn’t a good sign that the photographers are no longer committed to capturing Big Guy in god-like poses:

bo halo

What’s more troublesome of course is the imagery some of them are replacing those iconic shots with:

          obama mickey earsobama mickey

 Don’t they know how sensitive he is about his ears?

Butt getting back to our crushing defeat, that isn’t our fault; do you know what the Wisconsin motto is? “Forward.” No, I’m not kidding: “FORWARD! Reflecting Wisconsin's continuous drive to be a national leader” So I guess we’ll be dropping that one from our trial campaign slogan list too. Which is good, because I’m tired of coming up with four words every day.

The way things are shaping up, the only positive thing left in our arsenal is Lady M. So it looks like a grueling, in more ways than one, campaign season for everyone.

newseum new food ad standards moMaybe we can retrofit our campaign slogan to “Fashion Forward”

I’m pretty sure Ann Romney had a pale yellow jacket just like this back in the 90’s. Butt she never thought to pair it up with a fashion forward color blocked dress to show it to it’s best effect.  Back then fashion was so boring: a black sheath underneath, black pumps, hose and a simple gold necklace, or maybe pearls, and that was it. No color pops anywhere let alone everywhere.

Butt goodness, listen to me prattling on about the 90’s. Things have certainly changed a lot since then haven’t they Mickey?


Oh, and I suppose you saw Lady M on Letterman last night delivering the Top-Ten list:

mo and barackoliLady M poses with her Barackoli: again with the ears?!

The full list of Mrs. Obama's  top ten "fun facts on gardening":

No. 10: Gardening was invented in 1822 by Albert Gardener.

No. 9: Plant avocadoes, tomatoes, onions and cilantro together and grow a guacamole tree.

No. 8: Eggplants were originally cultivated for use as doorstops.

No. 7: In his lifetime, the average American will eat half a radish.

No. 6: The largest zucchini ever grown contained a Starbucks.

No. 5: Later this year the Supreme Court will finally rule on "tomato" vs. "tomahto."

No. 4: If you have an actual green thumb, it might be scurvy.

No. 3: Lettuce is 96 percent water and 4 percent lettuce.

No. 2: The White House tool shed contains shovels, trowels and Weed Whacker One.

No. 1: "With enough care and effort you can grow your own Barack-oli."

Regarding No. 2, “Weed Whacker Won” is one of Big Guy’s code-names around here.

bo choom poster

Just thought you’d want to know.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and MRM on twitter, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and anyonebutbarry2012, Thanks!