Friday, June 8, 2012

Barry and Kumar

As the Congressional Intelligence Committee investigates major and dangerous high level security leaks, House Oversight Committee Chairman Issa continues hearings on “Fast and Furious:” 

Ricky explains to Jason Chaffetz what the meaning of “is” is.

and and the House Judiciary Committee grills Ricky on the DOJ’s refusal to uphold voter ID laws

Big Guy was busy tending to the important presidential responsibilities: raising awareness of his need to raise money for the upcoming battle with the R-words. Here’s the group of young Hollywood gazillionaires he met with yesterday to make sure they’ve got his back. He needs them to help him get out the youth vote and to fill that quickly depleting campaign war chest.

young hollywood and bo includes jessic alba and Kal Penn and sophia bushYoung Hollywood gets an early morning call for “Breakfast with Barack”

This week’s New strategy: getting out the celebrity youth vote.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the meeting was part of the Obama re-election campaign’s “Young America Effort,” an initiative to build support and turnout among the younger voters who were key to the president’s election four years ago

Because, as we’ve discussed before, that’s where the money is. And they have the best access to the most malleable minds of mush.

Plus, it’s looking like there may not be enough registered dead Democratic voters to pull off a convincing victory, so we’re hoping young Hollywood will help us sign up a new constituency of as-yet unregistered voters: the pre-dead, pre-adults. That’s right, tweens! After all, who has more at stake in America’s future than tweenagers?

National Building Museumwillow smith white house easter egg roll 2011

Justin Bieber at Winter Holiday Party, Willow Smith (then 10) performing at Big White 2011 Easter Egg Roll

So we’ve launched an (unofficial) campaign to make sure they all get a chance to register and vote for Big Guy in November too. Because after all, we just want to make sure that every one – regardless of sex, race or age - gets a fair shake to cast their fair share of votes.

Anyway, some of the young stars of Hollywood that Big Guy had breakfast with include – well, probably nobody you know:

Among those who met with the president were The Avengers star Jeremy Renner, Glee actress Dianna Agron, Star Trek's  Zachary Quinto, Southland's Ben McKenzie, Jessica Alba, Bryan Greenberg, Adam Rodriguez, Zach Braff, Brandon Routh, Ian Somerhalder, Jared Leto, Kal Penn and Sophia Bush

…whoa! Hold the phone! Kal Penn!?


Kal Penn, star of the small and large screen Kal Penn? Kal Penn, the actor that Big Guy is a huge fan of, and vice-versa, Kal Penn? Wow!  Big Guy admires Kal’s work so much he even created a special job for him in the Big White. He had to leave after a few months to spend more time on his career, butt still.

You may know Kal not from his Big White duties butt from his starring roles in the hugely successful modern day adaptations of the original Choomer Cheech and Chong flicks, the adventures of Harold and Kumar:

    display433harold and kumar white castleharold-kumar-christmas-2

I’m not looking to start any rumors here or anything, butt I have heard discussions about the possibilities of Big Guy teaming up with Kal again on a future project:

barry & kumar copyBrought to you by the creator of the hit movie “Dude. Who Stole my Choomwagon?” Opening sometime after November 6, 2012.

Well, I’ve got to run. We’re setting up for a rare, unannounced presser. I think Big Guy will be reading about the economy, intelligence leaks and the do-nothing Congress. I’ll explain tomorrow why I have to be there.

Oh, and for the record: if there’s any lingering doubt in your mind as to whether Billy Bob Clinton is suffering from senility due to his misremembering the requirements for when we have to deal with taxes and spending issues, – which lead to his sincere apology - Charles Krauthammer explains his word salad here. 

And I’d just like to remind you that, unlike Big Guy, the Big Dawg didn’t inhale.



Oh and speaking of choomwagons, I know you already discussed this yesterday:

mo mama

Butt despite our ongoing embargo on rear end views here’s yet another leaked document from the Big White: a photo of Lady M getting her choomba into the choomwagon. Now I think someone will finally get to the bottom of these leaks.

Linked By: Moonbattery, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Lady Liberty 1885, and Blonde on News Busters, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, and anyonebutbarry2012 on GretteWire, Thanks!