Saturday, November 17, 2018

Shut Up and Sing or Just Shut Up

I suppose you can keep the fight going indefinitely if you refuse to accept reality. But to the rest of us it looks like all the challenges filed in the Georgia and Florida elections were paper tigers.

calvin hobbes cheating

So when you lose despite getting all the votes money can buy perhaps you should just concede gracefully instead of accusing your opponent of racism and voter suppression.

But for now allow me to turn to more important news: the latest Trump-is-a-racist allegation-not-based-on-his anti-migrating-horde position. This is a good one that I’m sure will stick: awarding a Presidential Medal of Freedom to Elvis Presley was a racist act as it is well known that the King culturally appropriated black music.

Let’s review: the Cambridge English Dictionary defines “cultural appropriation” thusly, “the act of taking or using things from a culture that is not your own, especially without showing that you understand or respect this culture.”

A few problems with the allegation, first, when Elvis did it such attribution was considered a tribute not an insult, secondly, we didn’t have different cultures back in the 50’s, we were all Americans regardless of our race, color or creed. And third, he was rather open about his admiration for his inspiration.

“The colored folks been singing it and playing it just like I’m doin’ now, man, for more years than I know. They played it like that in their shanties and in their juke joints and nobody paid it no mind ’til I goosed it up. I got it from them. Down in Tupelo, Mississippi, I used to hear old Arthur Crudup bang his box the way I do now and I said if I ever got to a place I could feel all old Arthur felt, I’d be a music man like nobody ever saw.” - Elvis Presley

It seems pretty obvious that he both understood and respected the cultural roots of his version of rock ‘n roll.

chuck-berry-elvis-presley

So here’s all I have to say: shut up and sing.

cultural appropriation

Friday, November 16, 2018

FLOTUS Friday: Palace Cat Fight Edition

Sure, I know there’s more important news: thousands of barbarians at the gate, thousands of “uncounted” ballots in Florida, thousands of acres of forests consumed by fire in California. But is there anything more compelling than a little palace intrigue? Especially a little palace intrigue that involves a cat fight? No, nothing. So that’s what I’m covering today.

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MSM would have you believe that the reason FLOTUS called for the dismissal of Mira Ricardel, deputy national security adviser, was due to a dispute over seating arrangements on Air Force 1 for Melania’s African “Be Best” tour. More or less ignored was the fact that the imperial Ms. Ricardel was so miffed over her staff being rebuffed by FLOTUS’ staff that she refused to provide key services during the trip:

Ms. Ricardel also withheld resources from the first lady before she traveled to Ghana, Kenya, Malawi and Egypt last month, according to those people, who spoke on the condition of anonymity. Before and during the trip, Mrs. Trump’s senior staff members operated without logistical information, readily available policy documents or basic communication as they arrived in places where security could be tight and tense, and the movements hectic. They said Ms. Ricardel was the reason for the delay. – NYT

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Services, I would point out, that were the sole purpose of the NSC’s involvement in the trip. I would think that an experienced civil servant like Ms. Ridardel would know better than to let her bureaucratic bitch out when dealing with the President’s wife. It seems that would be survival 101 stuff covered in governmental functionary school. Mistaking your inflated sense of self-importance with the actual importance of someone like the FLOTUS is a real rookie mistake, especially for someone as previously well-regarded as Ms. Ricardel.  Which just goes to show that women sometimes are their own worst enemies.

For the record, former FLOTUS Lady M told Jimmy Kimmel that she never pulled a Melania and got someone fired. Unless you count the firing of her BFF Desiree Rogers as White House Social Secretary. She committed the worse sin ever: she went out of her way to make herself look better than the boss at every opportunity.

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On top of being incompetent.

But speaking of Michelle, thank you, Little Mo, for filling in for me yesterday. Good job! And also thank you for posting the picture you chose of Orpah and Lady M, instead of this one:

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which illustrates the two BFFs are now both fighting in the Heavy Weight division.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

No Offense, Panda Sushi

I don’t know why, but MOTUS was worried that I might offend. So she directed Raj to review my post topics before I could publish. Apparently, Raj is somewhat more attuned to the sensibilities of others than I. Go figure.

So I did a quick scan of various post ideas and bounced them off Raj as she instructed.

First topic, Lady M.

MO told Oprah and a sold-out audience of 14,000 people at the United Center on Tuesday night, "Yes, I'm black." I didn’t think that would offend and neither did Raj, butt he was afraid that the vision of her squeezed into that sausage casing might upset too many breakfasts.

michelle-obama-united-center-chicago-photos-001Stuffed!

Next, a report on the arrival of the invasion caravan on our southern border:

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Raj could help me make a game for mobile devices called “Border Invaders.” It would sell like hotcakes.

On-the-Border-Game

But he said not unless MOTUS approved and as you know, she’s on vacation.

Running out of ideas, I came across this in MOTUS’ stack of potential future posts: Panda Sushi

As you may (or may not) know, Dewey From Detroit is MOTUS’ Panda alter-ego. As such she was not sure whether to be thrilled or appalled by this sushi demo. We decided to find out:

 

Mmmm…Panda Sushi

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The Zombies Are Coming! Arm Up

Meet the freshmanwomen class: Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) on Monday shared a photo captioned “squad” showing her seated with fellow Democratic Rep.-elects Rashida Tlaib (MI), Ilhan Omar (MN) and Ayanna Pressley (MA).

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Great: two radical Muslims and four socialists.

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For the record, I’m not talking about bullets.

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ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: I’m going on an overnight outing with some of Raj’s sisters and I’m not bringing my computer so Little Mo will be writing tomorrow’s post for me. I apologize in advance for anything he might say that might be misconstrued, offend and/or hurt anyone’s feelings.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

MOTUS Returns To Her Roots (and Butts)

Honestly, I didn’t want to know anything more about Michelle and Barack’s personal life. Butt there it is anyway, because you don’t get a $65 million book deal without a lot of promotion. And I sure didn’t want to post yet another photoshop of the world’s most fashion forward former FLOTUS butt again, there it is:

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So thanks to Becoming Michelle, Elle and Robin Roberts we see and hear it all: from lust at first sight to marriage counseling:

Commenting on what she learned during marriage counseling years ago she said “what I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me.” 

Isn’t that always the way when you’re married to a narcissist?

I won’t speculate on whether learning that her happiness was up to herself had anything to do with what she tells us next:

So, as her “sweet, attentive husband” worked at the state legislature, she was left 'largely on my own to manipulate my reproductive system into peak efficiency.'

OMG!

Michelle also revealed that she and former President Barack Obama 'had to do IVF' to conceive their daughters Sasha and Malia, now 17 and 20, explaining that, because of her age at the time, she was worried about being able to get pregnant naturally.

TMI!

I point out that her “age at the time” was 34, an age at which many modern women have just begun to think about starting a family and are not yet started worrying about getting pregnant naturally. Boy, “lust” sure isn’t what it used to be.

She also reveals how hurtful it was to her for people to portray her as an angry black woman during Barack’s presidential campaign over her comment –taken out of context of course – about being proud of her country for the first time in her adult life. And then she goes on to advise us that she gave Barack her blessing to run for president because she never thought he would win – she didn’t think the country was ready for a black president due to racism and bigotry. 

'I think I did what a lot of black folks were doin'. We were afraid to hope because it's hard to believe that the country that oppressed you could one day be led by you, you know?

First off, that sounds sort of angry to me. Secondly, the group that pedaled the “HOPE” banner to the rest of us was afraid to hope? At a minimum there’s something cynical about that.

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Butt given that racist, bigoted America did elect a black man to be president – twice - are we good now?

And of course Michelle will never forgive Donald Trump for questioning Barack’s citizenship - and for beating Hillary:

'I will always wonder about what led so many women, in particular, to reject an exceptionally qualified female candidate and instead choose a misogynist as their president.

I wonder if she has any proof to back that up…about PDJT being a misogynist? Or about Hillary Clinton being exceptionally qualified.

hillary why aren't I 50 points ahead“Why aren’t I 50 points ahead!?!”

And she has a final thought about our new FLOTUS. When asked if she thought Melania Trump, was doing a good job she simply said the two of them approached the role differently.  As do presidents. Some lean towards socialism, others don’t.

trump-is-the-symptom-capitalism-is-the-disease-socialism-is-29153318“the children are our future”

Butt here’s what Michelle gracefully said about Melania:

“You know, one of the things you learn as a former, it's, like, I don't judge, what a current is doin', you know?” 

Excellent advice, if not locution. Maybe she could pass that thought on to her husband and his friends.  

Feel free to consult the Daily Mail for even more nuggets of wisdom from our former FLOTUS. I’d advise against it however, life is fraught with enough hate.

Monday, November 12, 2018

Don’t Let the Turkey Buzzards Get You Down: Shoot First

I am not one to let the buzzards get me down as a rule, but their constant circling in multiple groups is beginning to make me a bit anxious: manufactured votes being counted in Arizona, Georgia and Florida with barely a peep from anyone, thousands of “migrants” continue their march to violate our laws and borders, Hillary is running for president and California is burning. 

blowtorch jcExcept for Hillary…

Since today is only a holiday by government edict and since we already held a proper Veterans’ Day observation yesterday, on the proper day, we are now free to move about the Internet. And even though it’s still almost 2 weeks off, we’re moving into the kitchen – LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, START YOUR  BLOW TORCHES:  THE THANKSGIVING RECIPE MARATHON HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN. As always, Julia Child residing.

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Like all days it will still be an open thread, but you can begin dropping any holiday recipes you’d like to share with the MOTI today. Feel free to request and/or post recipes that have been previously posted as there’s no viable search function in Disqus to find those from the past. Who knows, maybe this year somebody will gather them up in one place!

I’ve got two simple recipes for you. The first is a very simple alternative to the standard shrimp cocktail appetizer. It’s from Monahan’s Fish Market in Ann Arbor where they call it “Shrimp Rémoulade” even though there’s no mustard in it - Mid-Westerners, go figure.

Shrimp Rémoulade – From Monahan’s Fish Market

  • 1 lb. medium shrimp,  peeled & deveined, tails off , well dried  (or frozen, cooked, defrosted)
  • 2 scallions, chopped
  • ½ red bell pepper, diced
  • ½ C Monahan’s Remoulade Sauce (recipe below)

Bring water to a boil, add shrimp and cook until they are barely opaque (about 3 min.), drain, ice to chill down, pat dry.

In a med. size serving bowl, combine the scallions and bell pepper with the remoulade sauce. Fold in the shrimp to coat.  Serve with picks as an appetizer. While technically  an appetizer  you can also serve  on greens as a salad or on a roll as a sandwich.

Remoulade Sauce

Yield ¾ cup

  • 1/3 cup ketchup
  • 1 1/2 t lemon juice
  • 1/4 t paprika
  • 1/4 t Jamaican Pickapeppa sauce (skip, if you don’t have, or substitute Worcestershire sauce )
  • 1/2 t tabasco
  • 1 1/2 t Cajun seasoning  - any brand is fine
  • 1/4 t cayenne (omit to reduce heat factor)
  • 1/2 cup mayonnaise

Combine all ingredients in mixing bowl.

The Shrimp can be served on greens for a salad, on a roll as a sandwich, or with toothpicks as an appetizer.

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My second offering is not so much a recipe as a concept. You’ll need a bucket of those soft pretzel balls popping up everywhere –  Costco carries them:

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Then take out a frying pan, any size, melt enough butter to comfortably cover the bottom and plop in as many of those little nuggets that will fit with enough space to shake them around a bit. Turn heat to low and let them warm through, about 5 minutes, shaking or flipping with a fork to rotate every minute or so. Turn the heat off and sprinkle generously with some of the salt that comes with them: yes, this step is necessary!  Transfer 5 or 6 to each serving plate and serve with a small ramekin of warm (real) maple syrup.  Of course you can serve these with bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs if you’d like, that might prevent you from eating too many of the tasty little balls. They are addictive, but you’ll thank me anyway.

So there: you’ve seen mine, let’s see yours.

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And let’s get going, those old buzzards aren’t going to cook themselves.

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Or alternatively: it’s been 3 weeks and the buzzards are still circling, what’s your position, ethically speaking?

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Veterans’ Day 2018: Why We Fight

The price of greatness is responsibility. – Sir Winston Churchill

There are scant words to adequately acknowledge the sacrifices made by the men and women who have served our country, especially in times of war, so let me simply say thank you.

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Let us reflect on this 100th anniversary of Armistice Day, the end of World War I, the sacrifice our armed forces have always made when called upon to protect and defend our country. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could make it through one day without some nitwit ranting about social justice and tweeting about male toxicity and the patriarchy? Wouldn’t it be great if just today we could all acknowledge that in times of threat America has always pulled together, men and women, black and white, service members and civilians, to fight against an evil far greater than gender pay equality?

DP-Willow-Run-B-24-Bomber-ProductionFord Motor Co.’s Willow Run Bomber plant, where Rosie the Riveter and many like her assembled B-24s  during WWII

Could we not all concede that fighting for the the right to choose your own “gender” from a 31 flavor panoply is not the moral equivalent of fighting for your right to exist?

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There certainly are many Jews who – were they alive - might think that tyranny and genocide trump your cultural appropriation.

All I know is that I for one am eternally grateful to those who served as armed centurions at the gate throughout America’s history.

adamscenter_germanborder_captionAnd once you leave the American sector, there are wolves everywhere; that’s why we fight

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"You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done."

NOTE: Due to it being the official Veterans’ Day today, I’ve pushed Thanksgiving Recipe Day to tomorrow, the day the government has chosen to celebrate the real Veterans’ Day.