Saturday, February 1, 2014

Mo Money: Fundraising on the Left Coast

Don’t ever say that the Obamas don’t make good on their promises. At least with respect to fundraisers.

After stiffing Hollywood friends twice last year due, first, to a threatened KMA (kinetic military action) in Syria and later the equally threatening Federal Government Shutdown (thanks to Ted Cruz) Lady M finally showed up last week to grab the bag of cash (reportedly $650,000 – not bad for a pizza party in your back yard).

That was following an appearance on Ryan Seacrest’s  show Thursday morning to promote her very successful “No Child’s Fat Behind” program, push young people to sign up for Obamacare, dish on her own toned arms, discuss Valentine’s Day plans (none, because of last weeks birthday shindig where "my husband really celebrated me so well") and warble a few bars of You Are The Sunshine of My Life:

Screenshot Studio capture #1710

You can watch the whole thing if you don’t have anything else to do: {{{{spoiler}}} MO can’t sing as well as Buh-rock.


The best part is when Ryan asks if Big Guy ever acts out that scene in “The American President” where the Prezzie runs out to a local D.C. florist to get some flowers for his FLOTUS.

"Once you live in the White House, you know there’s a florist in the White House. It’s like, they have really good flowers right downstairs, so why is he out there with his credit card?  That would never happen.”

Pull out his own credit card? Ha ha! That’s a good one! That’s what all the little people are for.


And then it was off to fleece the 1 percenters of San Francisco. We arrived like royalty, “starred” at a luncheon fundraiser, enjoyed a private dinner at the world famous Slanted Door restaurant before before calling it a day. Then yesterday,  another starring role at  the Fairmont hotel (co-starring Nancy Pelosi) fundraiser,  and more bags of money.  I think we’re getting this whole “royals” thing down pat.

Just days after President Obama made income inequality a central theme of his State of the Union address, his wife hit San Francisco for a visit that included no public events - but kicked off with a pair of big-ticket Democratic fundraisers.

The first lady wasted no time in urging attendees to translate their beliefs into cash to keep hold of Democratic congressional seats in 2014 midterm races.

Because as we all know, it’s all about the Benjamins. Gosh, we just love doing the West Coast circuit: they really do know how to make you feel like royals!


Ooh ooh oh
We're bigger than we ever dreamed,
And I'm in love with being queen.
Ooh ooh oh
Life is great without a care
We aren't caught up in your love affair

And we'll never be royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood,
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz.
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

Lorde’s Grammy winning song “Royals”

Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
Let me live that fantasy.

michelle-obama-stampvia American Digest

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, January 31, 2014

Still More on the SOTU: Gumdrops, Lollipops, Rainbows and Sugar daddies

Good grief! It was days ago, and people are still talking about the SOTU:

For example, Mike Lee:

Protesting against dysfunctional government is a great American tradition, going back to the original tea party in Boston, about 240 years ago. Americans have a natural instinct to stand up and speak out when they know something is wrong.

“This inequality crisis presents itself in three principal forms: immobility among the poor, who are being trapped in poverty by big-government programs; insecurity in the middle class, where families are struggling just to get by and can’t seem to get ahead; and cronyist privilege at the top, where political and economic insiders twist the immense power of the federal government to profit at the expense of everyone else.

… But where does this new inequality come from? From government — every time it takes rights and opportunities away from the American people and gives them instead to politicians, bureaucrats and special interests.” (watch the whole thing here)

And Ted Cruz:

" -- if you want to bring back opportunity, (President Obama) doesn't need a pen, he needs an eraser," (watch the whole thing here)

Others, like Ann Althouse, are still commenting on the content of Big Guy’s speech,

Most memorable line: "Are you going to have sex with me or do I have to rape you?" That's a paraphrase.

before veering off into the weeds to make note of all the…ladies in waiting:

Is every woman wearing bright red? As Obama squeezes in down the aisle, the backdrop of red looks like an array of military personnel from some European country,

And fashion mavens like  the Washington Times Robin Givhan are still weighing in as well:

When will the gentlewomen of Congress stop feeling as though they must announce themselves for the cameras, their constituents and their colleagues? How many more women will it take in the upper echelons of Washington before they can all relax, suit up with authority — see Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.) — and stop dressing like gumdrops?...


women of sotuI’d say more like M&Ms.

M&M's_World_London_Abbey_RoadThe nutty ones.

Anyway, Ms. Givhan apparently does not approve:

No longer did bright colors merely dot the room. Instead, given a quick and passing glance, the place looked like a Jackson Pollock drip painting… Penny Pritzker, the new secretary of commerce, was aglow in pumpkin. So was Rep. Rosa L. DeLauro (D-Conn). Rep. Terri A. Sewell (D-Ala.) wore taxicab yellow. There was magenta, fire-engine red, purple, cobalt, grass green, more orange and even red plaid.

Butt she luuuved Lady M’s frock:

And, of course, the first lady was the most subdued of all: She chose monochromatic, almost-black pine green, with a full skirt and cropped jacket.

picture perfect moThere is something odd when MO is the “most subdued of all”

And here’s how Ann Althouse described it:

Michelle Obama... is wearing something that seems halfway between a 1950s little girl's party dress and an enlarged insect's carapace.

Insect carapace?

green beetle

What do you suppose that’s supposed to mean?

And of course, others were on board to defend some of the ladies. Neo, for example, said she felt compelled to defend Debbie Wasserman Schultz’ hair:

Wasserman Schultz was dealt a particularly bad hand in that she’s got hair that’s both curly and thinnish, and she resides either in Florida or Washington DC, two of the frizz capitals of the world. She’s also Of A Certain Age (although it’s an age that sounds youngish to me), which means her hair isn’t getting any thicker with time.

dws-starring in MedusaCurly Top. Guilty!

Boy, with a defense as schtrong as that, OJ would have been in jail a lot sooner and Casey Anthony wouldn’t be a free woman today.

Anyway, Ms. Althouse covers many other things she might have said, had she bothered to live-blog the State of the Union Address, which she didn’t.

The characters are more real when they're present in the room, like "Misty DeMars... a mother of two young boys." Okay, they really did find a person to represent this generality, and she's undeniably real. She's right there. But what does it mean that one particular lady got insurance? It's all worthwhile — all the clusterfuck of Obamacare — because Misty DeMars got insurance?

Answer: yes, Ann, it does.

Well, enough of that, I have to catch up with Lady M: we’re doing another fundraiser with Nancy and her 1 percenters today in San Francisco.

So be sure to tune in tomorrow when I cover the entire fun, left coast Sunshine, Lollipops, Rainbows, Gumdrops and Sugar Daddies tour.

Really, that’s all folks.

shirley templedws2It’s the Good Ship Lollipop! All aboard!!!

Linked By: Abby L Call on facebook, and @batfreight on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, January 30, 2014

#BigBlockOfCheeseDay: A Totally Processed Cheese Food Product

I hope you took advantage of yesterday’s West Wing #BigBlockOfCheeseDay.

Screenshot Studio capture #1680


Everyone around here sure did.

cheeseheads at workCheesehead Czars and staff hard at work answering Twitter questions on #BigBlockOfCheeseDay

We got lots of good questions tweeted to us:

cheese day min wage

So I guess if you pay a guy$10.10/hr to drop fries at McDonalds he’ll make those fries cook faster.

friesYep, those look golden, brown and delicious to me! Serve ‘em up Jose!

cheeseday wolves

How funny is it that? Secretary Foxx  is working on paths for wolves to cross the road? There’s a fox-in-the-hen-house joke in there somewhere. Or at least a quip about “sheep in wolves clothing,” no?


Besides, we already have “wolf crossings” – they’re called “wildlife overpasses”

wildlife_overpass-wolves2h/t “Nature Adapts” by DougM @ Sondrakistan

Then Jay-Jay weighed in, hysterically, on his caffeine habit and how he takes personal responsibility:

ccarbon copy_thumb[2]  Staffers pay for their own coffee? Since when!? Should I expect a bill?

Then we got a question regarding the young people of America:

val big cheese day

Uh, I hate to correct Val-Jar, butt Ann@ratherbeskiing asked how do we inspire young people “to work in govt.” We already know that government workers know how to have fun:

gsa vegas babyGSA Official in Vegas, baby! And later, taking the Fifth.

And some people enjoyed the #BigBlockOfCheeseDay so much, they’d like to see it incorporated into our public propaganda system:


Screenshot Studio capture #1705Screenshot Studio capture #1703



So we wrapped up our first, historic #BigBlockOfCheeseDay by unveiling this portrait in Cheetos of Big Guy,

baalman-cheetos-obama-romney2Cheetos artist Jason Baalman poses with his most famous Cheesehead portrait

I’m looking into having this encased behind glass in order to protect it for posterity; you know how dangerous it is to have Cheetos around here.

We officially shut down #BigBlockOfCheeseDay at midnight, declared it a total success, and look forward to doing it again real soon. Because not only did we answer a whole bunch ‘a good questions from you, the little people, butt we invested a lot of money in all these cheese heads and we sure to want to get our money’s worth.


MOTUS Cheesehead

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

SOTU Six: Ladders of Opportunity in 6840 Words (just words).

Well, that was painful. To quote the VodkaPundit“I miss James Buchanan.”

Focus groups nixed our “income inequality” altogether and didn’t like our “ladders of opportunity” a whole lot better so we had to pull most of those references too. Leaving us with just this:

“But what I offer tonight is a set of concrete, practical proposals to speed up growth, strengthen the middle class, and build new ladders of opportunity into the middle class. Some require congressional action, and I'm eager to work with all of you. But America does not stand still - and neither will I. So wherever and whenever I can take steps without legislation to expand opportunity for more American families, that's what I'm going to do.”

“Opportunity” tested positively so we used it as a stand alone 12 times. In fact, it worked so well, that “opportunity is who we are.”

So since I’m sure you were too busy to watch Big Guy and TOTUS, here’s my synopsis of the speech, in no particular order, complete with the ladders of opportunity Big Guy envisions for his stalled upward mobility:

“Build ladders of opportunity into the middle class:”


We still need to fight against the War on Women: they need more ladders to make as much money as their male counterparts:


Unemployment: (Not my fault!) We need more safety nets under the ladders we pulled out from under you.


Upward Mobility: Stalled! (Not my fault!)


Time to cut to some of the human props; we’ve got one for every special interest group.


“But America does not stand still.” Thanks to Michelle, we’ll leave No Child’s Fat Behind.  Everybody’s moving! Next, let’s try putting that ladder upright.

agility ladder.2jpg Mastering the agility ladders; like for dogs.

Action! I’ll take action! With or without Congress:

action laddersAction!

Unintended consequences to be addressed at a later date:

action ladder wrestlingCome on! That’s a ladder of opportunity I tossed you!

Obamacare! We’re fixin’ it! (and that’s all I’m going to say about that)

ladder of opportunity

Here, I’m tossing you a new IRA squirrel: MIRA? MY IRA? MyRA? Even I’m confused.

climb out of debtHow exactly does this help if I don’t have a job?

"I'll act on my own to slash bureaucracy." The Pen and Phone ladders of leadership:.

pen and phone ladder

Regarding energy: Natural Gas! Love it! All of the above! Love it! (except fracking, coal, drilling in the gulf and the Keystone Pipeline)

brokenladder Need to replace a few missing rungs on that “All of the Above” Ladder

JOBS!JOBS!JOBS! Roads, Ports, Government Jobs! (that’s standard boiler plate for all speeches now)

Screenshot Studio capture #1697Government ladder of opportunity jobs

Butt wait! I’m not done yet! (just pay separate processing and handling)

“But average wages have barely budged. Inequality has deepened. Upward mobility has stalled. The cold, hard fact is that even in the midst of recovery, too many Americans are working more than ever just to get by - let alone get ahead. And too many still aren't working at all.”

Again: not my fault! Okay? Can we get somebody in here to fix these ladders!

miniature of the empty chairI need this mess straightened out.

chairs let’s get these empty chairs all lined up.

empty-chair-3d-printed5And while you’re at it, make the ladders a little taller:

Raise the minimum wage. “It will give businesses customers with more money to spend.”


Which is good, because businesses will all have to raise their prices.

And of course: Marriage Equality!

gay laddersGay ladders march for marriage equality

Education: American students are Racing to the Top, where, once there, they’re “trapped by student loan debt.”

buns of steel ladderClimbing out of debt would be a lot easier with a job

“The debate is settled. Climate change is a fact.”

roof_snow_1Yep, in some places it snows every winter.

ladder2Hey! Come down from up there: hot air rises you know.

And that was about it. Here’s your Obama Sixth SOTU speech take-away:

Climb-Ladders-Safety-First-Sign-S-4395cow ladderOr bad things may happen to you

And now a message from our sponsor: Get your own copy of the complete SOTU address along with a copy of our new rainbow ladder of opportunity logo! Yours free for a donation of only $10 or more!



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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network