Saturday, August 20, 2011

Obama on the Vineyard: His Brave New World

Really, I appreciate the fact that you are all concerned about Lady M’s well being, butt trust me, she’s fine. Just a little puffy. From the humidity.

Photo embargos are just a part of our historic Vineyard get-aways. We like to wine and dine out of the public eye. So, no pictures at all from last night when she and Big Guy had dinner, alone, at our favorite restaurant, the Beach Plum Inn which you may remember from last year’s visit, when we were not allowed to release any photo evidence either.

And need I remind you why? Because of photos like this from the State Road restaurant included in last year’s vacation journal “A Fluke and an Imposter”:

srr5 With a menu like that, they might want to consider widening the doorway.

I expect this year’s embargo to be even more strictly enforced, due to CBS’ and the New York Times’ concern about the “bad optics” of the Won’s vacation on Martha’s Vineyard hob-nobbing with the “tax me! tax me! I’m rich” liberal set.

Not that the MSM isn’t doing everything in their power to make it seem “OK” to be renting a $50k seaside enclave while the entire world is crumbling around our ankles. They’ve taken to comparing the Won’s vacation with the Bush and Reagan vacations at their respective ranches, clearing brush.

And Mr. Bush spent a lot of time in Texas: 180 days, at the same point in his administration where Mr. Obama is now, according to the CBS News reporter Mark Knoller, who compiles such statistics. Mr. Obama had spent 61 days on vacation before this holiday began.

Although the real reason the media went after George W for his vacations had nothing to do with the amount of time he spent away from Washington, as he continued to run business from his Crawford ranch, and everything to do with the accommodations. Theirs, not his.

Because it was so remote, with few hotels nearby, the White House leased 11 acres outside the gates from a neighbor of Mr. Bush, and put in five trailers, said Steve Atkiss, a former special assistant to the president for operations, who helped set up the outpost.

The trailers housed Secret Service agents, military aides, a communications center, helicopter pilots and members of the president’s senior staff.

“They were pretty run-of-the-mill double-wide trailers,” said Mr. Atkiss, who now works for Command Consulting Group, a security and intelligence consultancy. “They were functional spaces without being in the least bit luxurious. It was not Martha’s Vineyard.”

The Western White House was nowhere near as reporter-friendly as the Martha’s Vineyard Whitehouse.

And White House staffers and reporters are busy as bees making it appear as if Big Guy’s not resting until every American who wants a job has one.

x610Don’t worry! I’ll get us out of this ditch! Did I mention the R-words got us into this mess? And they’re the ones preventing me from driving us out?

So we’re bringing in the advisors and “taking daily meetings” - just like Bush used to between clearing brush on the ranch. Butt to make the most of the Bush/Obama vacation comparisons, Big Guy should have stayed in Washington and done some “brush clearing” of his own. It’s not as if there isn’t enough dead wood there to keep him busy for 10 days.

Anyway, I hope they lift the photo embargo because I sure don’t want to rely on my illustrations of the vacation again. As you can see from my attempt to render last year’s outing at Johnnie’s Cupcake hut,

going for johnny cupcakes with bo copy

I do not have a graphics illustrator pack on my hard drive. And for the last time, no, MO is not bald. It was just really bad lighting. I guess graphic artist isn’t in the cards for me.

I do have permission to release pictures of Big Guy taking the wee wons to the bookstore again this year, where he has lots of fans (who knew? Progressives love hangin’  out at the bookstore?).

You might remember the books that Big Guy bought during last year’s visit to the Bunch of Grapes:

The Red Pony is about closing the barn door after the horse got out. To Kill a Mockingbird is set in the middle of the country’s Great Depression. It’s about a tragic miscarriage of justice by a racist white society against a Black man.

I don’t know what Freedom is about because it hasn’t really been released for sale yet. But an early Amazon review indicates it’s about a well-intentioned couple who lead the charge against an evil, environment-destroying big-coal mining empire, while falling prey to the nefarious intents of a Bush-Cheney crony. Not to worry: they emerge triumphant and filled with renewed hope. The review says we love the characters “not for their charm or goodness, but because they have their reasons…” Generally good enough for government work.

This year he picked up a copy of Brave New World, generally required high school reading. Come on! Are you kidding me? Big Guy came up with his ingenious concept of a benevolent dictatorship with an efficient, totalitarian welfare-state – all on his own!?! Without ever having even read Huxley? Wow! He’s even smarter than you thought.

Just an interesting little cultural fashion note: can you tell the difference between this year’s and last year’s book shop outing:

          weewon2_thumb8bunch of grapes bookstore

Bunch of Grapes visit 2010, left; 2011, right

Besides losing the hat and un-tucking the shirt, not much CHANGE. Ideologues are like that. I think Huxley had a thing or two to say about stasis too.

Oh, and the Secret Service made sure that the angry grapes were not allowed to congregate around the Bunch of Grapes bookstore this year. Supportive crowds only need apply:

“We’re counting on you!” one patron yelled as Obama left the store.

He also found a supportive audience outside the shop.

“He’s working all the time. He’s getting a little relaxing when he’s with his girls,” said Virlynn Atkinson White, from Washington, D.C., who also was on vacation. “But for the most part, I’m sure he’s working. There’s too much going on in the country. He’s very conscientious.”

grapes,angrymobBeware the Grapes of Wrath

That’s right Vivian. He’s working all the time, and he’s very conscientious. That’s what the “angry mob” has been trying to tell you all along. Consider yourselves warned.

Oh, butt I do have photo evidence of Little Bo’s arrival on the island, with his “handler” - who treats him like family.

little BoDon’t follow that yellow brick road Little Bo, it’s a dead end.

I wonder if Big Guy will actually read his summer book selection.

“There is no escape from anxiety and struggle, and Huxley assists us in attaining this valuable glimpse of the obvious, precisely because it was a conclusion that was in many ways unwelcome to him.”        Christopher Hitchens

Linked By Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Friday, August 19, 2011

No Economy is an Island, Entire of Itself

michelle-obamaArrival on the Rock, c. 2010

I know you’ve been suffering LMWS (Lady M Withdrawal Syndrome), and there’s been speculation about Lady M undergoing, ahem, cosmetic “enhancements” while she’s been out of sight. As is often the case in these situations, our imaginations are far more interesting than the truth.

MO’s just been busy. Last week was spent on the normal pre-vacay preparations: chelation, detox, manicure, pedicure, waxing, buffing and shining. Then there was the always difficult and complicated process of selecting an appropriate new vacation wardrobe from the gear sent over by our designers. And of course, we needed to choose a few trinkets from our favorite jewelers that might be appropriate for vacationing amidst millionaires and billionaires who can afford to pay a little more.

michelle_obama_tom_binns_3

In short, Lady M was doing her bit to stimulate the economy. With all that stress, when do you suppose she had time to undergo cosmetic surgery procedures? Other than the Botox and Restylane I mean?

We’re going to make the most of this vacation, because Pluff-Daddy has already advised the Wons that, if they want to stay the Wons, they won’t be vacationing on the Vineyards next year ahead of the elections. He’s thinking of Frontier Days in Cheyenne instead.

So, since we’ll be doing a whole bunch of sacrificin’ from now on, we’ve got a lot of luxuriating to squeeze in ahead of Big Guy getting back to D.C.. Once he announces his jobs plan to create or save millions more American jobs in order to avoid ANOTHER worldwide recession, it will be work, work, work.

 unemployment-3All worldwide recessions worth their salt begin at home

You will be happy to know that Lady M and the Wee Wons arrived here on Martha’s Vineyard yesterday afternoon – and guess what! Little Bo got to come last night with Big Guy! Don’t worry, I’ll look out for him and make sure he doesn’t eat any dead water fowl.

So, just to carry you over until we get a few snaps from this year’s happy family, here are a few memories from  previous years’ island adventures with the Wons:

mo icecream

Above, we have a candid shot from one of last year’s ice cream runs: Lady M is sporting the backwards-forward look that we pioneered. Big Guy later adopted that approach for his economic program. Although I’m not sure either of them can actually claim to have invented the concept.

Jimmy Carter Miss Me Yet

Below, we donned casual gear for a biking workout around the island.

noon feedingLady M’s wife beater biker look, c. 2010

This look, ironically, is one that both Big Guy and Lady M have been known to sport:

Obama Addresses Health Insurance Reform George fe24QDAiJfvl

He: single white wife beater. She, double white wife beaters. Let’s not have a “best guns” contest.

bcb30_MICHELLE-OBAMA.jleaving the vineyardLeaving the Rock, 2010

And here’s the adorable little baby doll dress that we wore to dinner at the Sweet Life Café that sparked one of those perennial “baby mama” rumors. As if.

michelle-obama-martha's-vineyard-the-sweet-cafe-narciso-rodriguez

BTY, there were two fundraisers held for Big Guy last night butt he didn’t go to either of them. What did they expect though, they were only charging $1000 a head. What with all the pressures facing us right now, Big Guy can’t afford to show up for anything under $10,000.

Well, that will have to do for now. I’ve got to run, Lady M wants to try on some new gear that just arrived from our favorite designers, “on loan,” of course.

Big Guy will be playing a round today at Mink Meadows (don’t you just love that name?) before getting back to save the world from the pending alien invasion. No, not Islamo-terrorists, silly. And no, certainly not Mexican drug dealers or day workers “willing to do the work Americans won’t do” either. We’re talking serious aliens, like in the Matrix or something:

Bad news from NASA: If we don’t reduce carbon emissions, the aliens might come and kill us.

So don’t think that Big Guy is just “vacationing” here on the Rock. He’s busy with his newest economic advisor (Paul Krugman) planning the next World War. Because sometimes you have to destroy the economy in order to save it.

6042290958_298f203843_zposter credit: BKeyser. Click to embiggen

“ If we discovered that, you know, space aliens were planning to attack and we needed a massive buildup to counter the space alien threat and really inflation and budget deficits took secondary place to that, this slump would be over in 18 months.”

We’re definitely not in Kansas any more. “You know?”

“And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Obama’s BBB Tour: Was That a Good Idea?

A wrap up of the “Big Black Bus” tour. Lessons learned: they’re still bitter, still clinging.

between barack and a hard place copyOur Rock Star tour turned into the “Between Barack & a Hard Place” tour

He said it was “listening tour” butt then they expected Big Guy to listen to them.

bo alphaSit down and shut up!

He heard them say they wanted jobs for Americans, butt then they got all wee-weed up about which Americans he found jobs for.

OBAMA SAVING CANADIAN JOBS-CROP copy

We had to contend with terrorists in the midst of the crowds:

ryan rhodes

Big Guy told the terrorist to get over it. That he, himself, has been called bad names in the past: once he was even accused of being a socialist... as if that was a bad thing.

we_are_all_socialists_now newsweek

As I recall, he rather embraced the concept at the time.

Then Big Guy gave us a peek at his “new” economic plan, to be rolled out after “Labor” Day (kind of ironic) which includes all the usual suspects, including having the rich pay a little bit more. Butt now it even looks like that plan might have a few holes in it:

millionaires go missingSource: WSJ

Yikes! Where are all our millionaires and billionaires who can afford to pay a little more going? 39% reduction in people making $1 million or more? WTF? How’s that going to work? Bueller? Anyone?

And then, our stop at Wyffels Hybrids didn’t go as well as the handlers had hoped. First, Big Guy got the place mixed up with the Waffles House. Then, when he found out it was actually Wyffels Hybrids, he assumed it was one of his car companies. It was a little embarrassing when he found out we were talking about real plants: hybrid seeds. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, some farmer guy respectfully complained about government regulations getting in the way of them growing corn and soybeans.

bo alphaOh, sorry. You’ve already seen farmer-guy, haven’t you?

Well, by that point, Big Guy was really getting tired of hayseeds, and he sort of blew him off. Because he just wanted to eat his waffle.

And while the Big Black Bus was cruising the Heartlands, Maxine Waters was cruisin’ in Detroit, asking her homies if it’s time to go after Big Guy for not delivering on his promises to give them a bunch of free stuff. The response was, in 2 words, “Hell yes!” Not good news. Apparently even the homies are getting tired of his excuses.

Not my fault! via Gateway Pundit

Thank goodness we’re going to the Vineyard this afternoon, where we are still idolized and we can put this Big Black Bus tour and all those flyover hicks, bitterly clinging to their guns and religion, behind us.

It will be good to feel the love again.

obama-smear-orlandoWhoops! That was from Detroit.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Our International Big Black Bus Tour Continues, eh?

“ You can’t lead from behind. Leading is not a political strategy. It’s a moral strategy.” Chris Christie

 

Here’s Big Guy, leading  his entourage (in the BBB) on our Win The Future (WTF) tour: 2 Big Black Buses, 15 police cars, 1 Ambulance and 22 SUV’s/vans.

bus ocade

Unfortunately, someone outed the outsourcing of Big Guy’s Big Black Bus (Fox, I think): it was built and outfitted in Canada. That doesn’t mean that it’s not American. North American anyway, and we’re all citizens of the world.

OBAMA SAVING CANADIAN JOBS-CROP cowatermark

Butt let’s stay on non-campaign message here:

le claire

Adorable Dogs, and kids

 photops2

and ice cream

tippy townVanilla? Isn’t this jobs tour white enough, already?

Oh yes, and we need to get politicians to stop putting their selfish political interests ahead of the good of the country.

bo barn

While Big Guy and his team are working round the clock trying to figure out how to make this economy sound robust. His Ag Secretary, Tommy Vilsack, tried to do his part by explaining how food stamps are one of the best jobs stimulators there ever was.

Here’s the first thing you learn in political economics school about putting country ahead of politics: if your administration’s policies don’t hand you a vibrant economy that you can boast about, then boast about the vibrant welfare programs you’re providing in response to your non-vibrant economic policies.

Credit where credit is due for this strategy: Former historic House Leader, Nancy Pelosi, first introduced us to the the welfare dollar multiplier. Soon thereafter, every supportive MSM commentator discovered this new economic principle on their own, and have been spreading its wisdom with religious fervor ever since.

The beauty of this theory is that you don’t need even a passing grasp of basic arithmetic to understand it’s appeal, and it makes perfect sense to collectivists progressives.

I sure don’t want to rain on Big Guy’s rural jobs parade, butt I’m just wondering if anyone in his camp realizes that this theory flies in the face of our zero-sum game approach to all things economic. Not that logical consistency is a pillar of progressive politics, butt still…it’s awkward.

Let’s evaluate: in the zero sum consumption game, if one person makes a lot of money, someone else necessarily makes less. If one person consumes more energy, that leaves less energy for someone else.

Butt when you switch to government largesse, the zero sum metric  reverses itself. Now, if someone gets a little bit of your money, it’s automatically multiplied by the number of hands it passes through. This is where the math gets a lot more complicated. I think I might just be too dumb to be a Progressive.

Here’s how I think it works: if you earn a dollar and spend it, it’s only worth $1. If you earn a dollar and Big Guy takes 50 cents of it and gives it to someone else, then the impact is $2. It’s called transmogrification. Not to be confused with transubstantiation. He’s not making that claim yet, although this whole scheme does remind me of the miracle of the loaves and fishes.

If, like me, you’re still having trouble grasping the basics of Obamanomics, try this. It’s a little exercise Pluff-Daddy came up with for Big Guy so he could explain it on his bus tour:

You will be Obama’s American economy. Put $2.00 in your “RIGHT” pocket. That’s your money. You earned it. Next take one of the dollars and transfer it to your “LEFT” pocket. That’s Big Guy’s stash. And SHAZAM! The American economy just doubled its money!  Simple, isn’t it?

So cheer up: we’re in good hands! I’ll even give you a little scoop about Big Guy’s jobs program that I’m not supposed to tell anyone about yet: he’ll be announcing after our Vineyard family vacation a new training program for former auto workers in how to replace broken windows.

london-riot-broken-store-windowsLondon shop owner surveys damage following riots

And if you think broken windows create jobs…

1135268349340London is burning. This could be a huge economic stimulus too.

Buh bye, Heartland. Hello Martha’s Vineyard!

BURMA SHAVE WEDNESDAY copy

Linked By: sowsear1 on NoQuarter, Thanks

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Big Black Bus “Planes and Votes and Grains” Tour of America Rolls On: All Aboard!

Day Two of our non-election year, non-campaign Barry O’Bama Road Show and Big Black Bus Tour rolled through heartland yesterday to mostly rave reviews.
 
 
The pies received especially high marks:
 
Homemade? Really? I’ll take one for Michelle.
 
 
Multi-million dollar Winnebago, check. Multi-billion dollar plane, check. All we need now is that multi-zillion dollar high-speed train to nowhere to complete our journey.
 
The usual bus load of partisan sycophants supporters were present at all scheduled stops. However, someone forgot to check credentials closely enough and we wound up with a few Tea Party terrorists on the rope line asking inappropriate questions.

Butt allow me to start at the top with a recap of yesterday: Cannon Falls, no problem.

Bucolic BO: on the river of tranquility

Can you believe it! That backdrop - it’s real! Not from central casting. Cannon Falls. Who knew there was such a thing in nature?

Then lunch at the local deli: Would you look at the size of that turkey? The sandwich, I mean.

As it turns out, the sighting of wild turkeys yesterday was a bad omen.

Decorah however was not quite as, uh… decorous. Just look at those angry white tea partiers badgering Big Guy! I might have expected such behavior in Wisconsin, butt not Iowa.

Angry White Mob. And they look like racists too. You can tell because they’re wearing jackets. And Big Guy’s not.

Sheesh, Big Guy can’t even work a rope line any more without being accosted by these people. No wonder they keep getting accused of being terrorists. Just because we said this is a non-campaign listening tour doesn’t mean Big Guy actually wants to listen to their nonsense. What he meant was, he talks, you listen.

The rest of the exchange in Decorah, at the Seed Savers, went much smoother. Big Guy was sooo in his element with the hayseeds and the barn.

Big Guy, planting the seeds of CHANGE at the Seed Savers Exchange in Decorah, IA

In fact, he even started to look like our American Idol again, don’t you think?

Just a little bit country…
 

So anyway, Bo took the opportunity to let people know in no uncertain terms that he was going to present an economic plan of his own – sometime in September. After the vacay. And after he gets his economic band back together. And when he has enough time to squeeze in a meeting to brief them on his plans.

Actually, whether you’ve noticed or not, Big Guy’s pretty much completed his economic “blueprint for America.” He’s decided to set up a taxpayer funded infrastructure bank (to build GE’s high-speed train and off-ramp-to-nowhere), extend the payroll tax holiday(one of the “Bush tax cuts”), extend unemployment benefits, and increase taxes on the wealthiest Americans, like him, who can afford to pay a little more.

Since he’s already got his blueprint, his assignment is finished! When BO gets back from the Vineyard all he has to do is hand it off to Congress who naturally won’t pass it so he came blame them for the inevitable cascading depression. It sounds like we’ve got our election strategy wrapped up too: “find someone’s ass to kick.”
At the Cannon Falls meeting, Obama reiterated recent themes blaming economic problems in part on turmoil in the Mideast, debt problems in Europe and the earthquake and tsunami in Japan, but he said the biggest problem was intransigence in Washington, particularly among Republicans unwilling to accept any tax increases to help solve the nation's budget problems.
Boy, good stuff like that just never gets old.

Today: we’re on to Peosta, Iowa. Big Guy will be meeting with members of the White House Rural Council - that he created in June to report on the economic climate in rural America. That’s bound to be good for a laugh. And maybe another turkey sandwich.

I’m looking forward to more pictures from the road today. Yesterday’s BBBT Map produced a priceless retro-gem for the Big White Big Black Bus Tour scrapbook:

Of course, the Secret Service took the signs down while doing their security sweep. Some people thought it was treasonous.
 

Linked By: Promethia on NEO-NEOCON, and sb on Weasel Zippers, Thanks!

Test Post and Road Video

Here’s Big Guy’s video from yesterday’s road warrior show.

Raj and I continue to trouble shoot the problems preventing me from publishing anything with photos embedded.  Text and videos, OK. Pictures – everything crashes. It has something to do with Picassa. If anyone has a clue, please let me know.

Monday, August 15, 2011

We take our economic show on the road! WTF?

NOTE: UNABLE TO POST TODAY’S ROAD REPORT (8-16-11) FOR SOME REASON. RAJ IS INVESTIGATING. HOPEFULLY WILL BE RESOLVED SHORTLY. 11:35

 

We’ve barely rolled the bus off Air Force Won, and already with the criticism! The R-words are saying Big Guy stole the idea for a bus tour from Sarah, butt I’ve got news for them – our inspiration predates her bus tour by years!

kur0-012aNo; I said “years” not decades

Lady M got the bus tour idea from Jim O’Conner, one of her many Food Network friends:

mo_mario_crocs_final_copy_thumb[4]

He had a very popular TV show in which he traveled around America in his RV eating at local food festivals.

Snapshot 19 (8-14-2011 6-47 PM) copy

“Wide open road” imagery, small town American sensibilities and unlimited greasy food. Perfect! We went into production immediately. Oh yeah, and jobs, jobs, jobs!

Some people are criticizing Big Guy’s trip as nothing more than a sideshow. Butt they’re missing the point: this is the main event. Campaigning, it’s what we do around here.

bo reflection of himself campaign-busx-large“Who’s got pie?”

Lady M decided to take a pass on this leg of the trip when she heard that one of the first stops on our “food-on-a-stick” tour was Decorah, a large Norwegian community in Iowa. It’s not that she has a problem with blonde haired, blue-eyed Scandinavian Iowans, it’s just that she remembers the food we were served in Oslo when Big Guy went to pick up his Nobel Prize for Readership back in 2009. If I may quote: “enough with the stinky fish, already!”  So we’ll just be here at the Big White, getting in training for our Martha’s vacay.

mobottoms upbmp

Butt back to Big Guy’s campaign to persuade America he’s working on that 3-letter word: JOBS.  On our first trip out, we’ll be hitting towns Big Guy’s never even heard of in Minnesota, Iowa and Illinois. In fact, until his historical presidential run in 2008, he hadn’t even heard of Minnesota or Iowa.

Butt now, here he is, playing President-in-Chief, holding town hall meetings in places like Cannon Falls MN. Is this a great country or what? And BTW, the handlers, in order to make sure this is an upbeat outing,  picked two towns that are economically "vibrant” for our first few stops. They still remember all the blow back we got last year from improperly vetted supporters in our back-yards-of-America-tour. Awkward!

Any hoo, we are being much more careful during our getting-out-of-Washington trip this year. We’ve got an entire advance team clearing the road ahead of the tour bus.

apr_16_wild_turkeysSome consider wild turkeys a bad omen

So I think it’s going to be a great week. And just wait until Big Guy tells Lady M about the size of those famous Iowa pork sandwiches!

pork tWow! That’s a really big pork sandwich! Can I get some fries with that?

pork with friesOh yeah, babe! Pork fat rules!

After our well deserved vacation, Lady M will sooo be on board for the next Iowa campaign/jobs bus tour. That’s just what we do around here. Campaign, eat, tour, eat, campaign. WTF.

Be sure to follow The Barry O’bama Road Show with us all week: