Saturday, August 22, 2009

Slumming on the Vineyards

MO and I watched this video in preparation for our Vineyard’s vacation, but it wasn’t all that helpful.

For one thing, these guys and dolls make BO and MO – without my help - look like the cream of the crop. Apparently what they say about old money is true.

I was a little concerned about the accompanying article however. It looks like they might be on to me:

The Obamas? They're under the media equivalent of an electron microscope.

Yikes! That’s too close for comfort. I guess I’ll have to use my self-refracting light shields to prevent the local media from spotting ME.

There’s definitely no way I can let Lady M go out without me. That diet thing isn’t working out all that well.

Friday, August 21, 2009

40 Is The New Numero Uno

It’s official! Lady M is one of the most powerful women in the world! Forbes “Top 100 Most Powerful Women in the World” placed her as number 40.

For the second time in her adult life, MO is proud to be an American. Sure, she’s only number 40, but when they find out who’s really running the country, they’ll bump her up a notch or two. At least enough to overtake Number 36, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton– the bitch!

We’re going to have to work real hard to beat out that old sour-puss German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, for the number one spot though. She’s been numero uno for 4 straight years, and we think it’s time for her and her dumb free-market economic ideas to move on. After all, didn’t Germany practically invent Socialism?

But like I said, it’s going to be tough. She’s recently employed my second cousin, Greta, to “polish” up her image a bit, if you get my drift.

angela merkle

Damn! I hate German engineering and efficiency. And those Leica people think they own the entire field of photo-trans-imaging.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Patient Needs Better Universal Coverage

Maybe we should’ve done a little polling or at least a few focus groups before we decided to try short shorts at the Big Dig.

Everybody has been yakking about it since last Saturday: Chicago Trib, InStyleHuffPo (of course).

Most come down on the side of MO having every right to bare her “glamorous gams” (thanks,InStyle). I think I will have to take credit for those comments. They undoubtedly saw her when I was refracting her svelte image, using all of my battery back-ups.

The snarky little bitches who said things like “makes her look like a Coleman tent in heat” - what ever that’s supposed to mean - and “big ass, huge thighs, no shorts. Period."  must have been standing at some weird angle where my trans-imaging system didn’t project. We’re still working on that universal coverage issue, please be patient.

michelle and Bo

Monday, August 17, 2009

Does the Grand Canyon Make My Butt Look Small?

OMG! The Grand Canyon is so awesome! I barely had to turn on my trans-imaging CGI (computer graphics interface, for you Luddites) to get the effect Lady M was going for on this trip. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs much help making their butt look tiny in comparison to this mega-saurus canyon.

grand canyon butt shot

If you’ve never been here, it’s hard to imagine the sheer magnitude of this miles-wide and nearly bottomless chasm. Let’s just say it’s nearly big enough to contain BO’s ego.

But about those short-shorts: I certainly hope MO doesn’t plan on wearing them any where else.

mo grand canyon-2

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