Saturday, September 12, 2009

Who Knew They Still Made Pocket Protectors?

I had a great time at NASA with the astrophysics-geeks. We celebrated my brother Hub’s latest portfolio the only way egg-heads know how - playing square root and pi games on the big screen for prizes. I didn’t win anything but the grand prize was an antique slide rule that, when presented, brought the room to an awed silence.

geeks and a movie

Anyway, we did high fives to Hub all around (several times actually, geeks don’t seem to know how to graciously end things), I accepted a life-time achievement award on Hub’s behalf,then we had a couple of beers and played geek games well into the night.

I sort of wished that I’d had more time, because these guys are really nice, and they really need my fashion input and special astral projection powers. istockphoto_5202212nerdloveI mean, I guess they reproduce amongst themselves, which is good because god knows this country needs all the geeks we can get. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to expand the gene pool just a “bit” (that passes for a joke in geek-dom).

Servicing Their Memory

We’ve decided to turn a negative into a positive, because, well, that’s what we do around here. So instead of having everyone mope around on 9/11, the day the Muslim terrorists flew planes into towers 1 and 2 of the World Trade Towers, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania, killing nearly 3000 Americans and traumatizing the entire nation, MO and Bo have decided to turn it into a day of service.

What better way to remember 3000 innocent victims and first responders who left behind husbands, wives, children and unborn babies then to get out there and do something for the homeless? See how we shift that from a day of remembrance of the slaughter of Americans by fanatical evil doers who wish us dead to a conversation about Lady M’s purple Converse sneakers?

purple conversesWhat a great idea Rahmbo had, to have Bo and Mo out painting a house for Habitat for Humanity on the National Day of Remembrance. Here they are hard at work for the few American people left that ACORN can’t arrange a home a loan for.

painting for habitatAnd here’s how you can tell it’s for real, not just a photo op: The Big Guy took his bespoke suit jacket off before diving into the paint bucket.

So let’s slap a little paint on that pig. Because if we don’t have a day of service on 9/11, the terrorists win.


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Google This: “Country First”

“Goggle Plans New Mirror For Cheaper Solar Power”

Rumors have been swirling ever since I left Washington for NASA headquarters to celebrate my brothers newest portfolio from outer space with some of Hub’s best geek-friends. So let me just squash them before they get out of hand:  I am NOT interviewing with Google.

I’m very satisfied in my current position as MOTUS to the FOTUS. I have a very important job for the people of the United States, and I’m not going anywhere. Surely you remember what happens when I’m not around to do my transformative work for the American people?shortsSo as you can see, I’m good for now. How could anyone think that I’d leave my low-paying but powerful government position for a high-paying private sector job at Google. My motto has always been “Country First” Oops! Toes is probably going to be all over my keister again about that.

More on the NASA boys later.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Nice Pics Bro

Here’s my brother Hub’s latest new picture from deep space. And it’s all real: Hub swore he employed no neo-refraction, trans-imaging or any other butt shrinking nano-optical tricks. These are the real deal, unlike anything in my world.

This is a picture of the stellar demise of the Planetary nebula NGC 6302, or as Hub refers to it “The Butterfly”:

butterfly nebula













Hub thinks I should get a smaller version of this pic tattooed on my lower west quadrant.I’m not sure, I hear that involves needles. Since acupuncture and pain killers will be a major component of Big Guy’s new Healthcare Plan. I think I’ll wait till then.

I’ll be posting sporadically for the next few days, as Toes (now that we’re back on good terms) is letting me take a couple of days to go down to NASA to celebrate Hub’s newest achievements with the astro-geeks.

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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Another Brick In The Wall

So I didn’t get a moment’s peace all weekend. It was a constant stream of reporters trying to get an exclusive on BO’s “Big Read to Children” tomorrow. I don’t like to single reporters out, because to me they all look alike, but that Andrea at MSNBC is a real pain in the ass. Not to be catty, but “meow”, it’s time to re-stretch that racket head if you know what I mean.

TOTUS was holed-up with Toes and Bags all weekend working on the scroll, so that left little old me to handle the curious. At first I was really baffled by all the questions about what the children should wear while they listen to Big Guy read. I mean, I am arguably, ”The” American fashion go to gal, but what’s the big deal? Big Guy reads to the “children” about 4 times a week, and nobody’s ever had a hard time dressing appropriately before.

Then Lady M explained that this week, BO is giving REAL CHILDREN a “Big Welcome Back To School Read”. See, around Big White, we refer to all the voters as “BO’s children” and the ones who voted for him “the chosen ones”.

Toes wanted me to recommend the new Obamacorp uniform he and Bill Ayres have been working on.

MODEL-2 copy

I told him I thought it was cute, in a 1940’s Italian fascist   fashionista sort of way, but thought we should hold it back for the  sequel to our “Big Welcome Back to School Read” : “The Big Obamacorp Read” in a few weeks .  Well you’d have thought somebody told him I voted for McCain. No one did, right?

It took Lady M to calm him down and I must say, she did it PDQ. She just pointed out how lucky he was that his only currently missing appendage was on his hand. That cheered him right up, and me and Toes are good again. Might even go to the ballet together.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Red Is The New Green

Breaking news for all you fashionistas out there: Green is not the new Black after all. 

Yep, Van Jones resigned today as Green Czar. That leaves Elmo as the only non-black person of color at the White House. But he’s an unfortunate Red. I just don’t think that would sell well in middle America, and that’s apparently where we’re having all of the trouble now.

But I don’t know. I think we could sell this red stuff if we just repackaged it. USA/Say in something cute and cuddly? elmo

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