Saturday, May 1, 2010

The Butterfly Effect

Did you see what Lady M was up to last week? She planted a butterfly garden!

butterfly3 Lady M, in her purple sneakers, planting the butterfly larvae in this year’s butterfly garden

 

BUTTERFLY POINTERS  …and she wrote a personal message on a butterfly mural: “Dream Big Dreams”

Yes, I know. I always thought butterflies hatched from caterpillars too, until last fall when the butterflies that Lady M planted in her organic butterfly garden last spring were ready for harvest and started showing up all over the Big White grounds. Remember?

232x147 Butterfly on the East lawn

 

fairyCloseup

We even had a special party for them on Halloween.halloweeen fairies

And even though we cut that deal with Big Pharma to get them on board with Obamacare, I guess the party didn’t have anything to do with them or their scary sleeping pills.

scary_lunesta_moth  Scary Lunesta moth-man dreams and nightmares

Although it does strike me as a bit suspicious that their slogan is “Sleep you’ve been Dreaming of,” and Big Guy’s book is called “Dreams of My Father, and Lady M tells the little fat behinds to “Dream Big Dreams.”  But I guess it’s just a coincidence. Besides, we’ve sworn off the pharmaceuticals around here. At least those pharmaceuticals.

lunesta

I’m sure you’ve heard of the butterfly effect: where a butterfly flaps its wings in South America and causes a tsunami in Indonesia or something?  Hollywood loves to use it as a metaphor for the existence of seemingly insignificant moments that alter history and shape destinies. Generally unrecognized at first, they create threads of cause and effect that appear obvious in retrospect, changing the course of a human life or perhaps rippling through the global economy.

For example, who ever would have dreamed that an innocuous little law known as the Community Reinvestment Act could eventually lead to the great Financial Meltdown of 2008? And if that’s the case, just imagine what Big Guy’s Healthcare bill might eventually do! That butterfly’s got wings the size of Texas, for heaven’s sake. And think of the unholy plagues that might be started by Cap and Tax, or Immigration “Reform”, or Card Check, or… I think I’ll stock up on some of those pharmaceuticals. You might want to do the same. You know, just in case you can’t sleep. Oh, and don’t forget to dream big dreams!

obama-joker

Friday, April 30, 2010

Welcome to Oz, Dorothy

A great woman, Dorothy Height, was laid to rest yesterday at the Washington National Cathedral and Big Guy and Lady M paid their respects. You can tell that they both respected Dr. Height greatly because Big Guy shed a real tear, and Lady M dressed as close to age and position appropriate as we could pull together out of the imperial closet.

appropriate Almost perfect, but for the shrunken doll’s sweater

 tear Big Guy wipes away a tear

I don’t think MO approved of the unmanly display of emotion though. There’s that stare again, that she usually reserves for more attractive women from foreign countries.

Big Guy was called upon to deliver a eulogy for this great woman, nearly 100 years old, and a stalwart in the civil rights movement. In honoring her Big Guy reminded everyone how evil America was when Dorothy was growing up:

Jim Crow ruled the South. The Klan was on the rise -- a powerful political force. Lynching was all too often the penalty for the offense of black skin. Slaves had been freed within living memory, but too often, their children, their grandchildren remained captive, because they were denied justice and denied equality, denied opportunity, denied a chance to pursue their dreams.

And then, miraculously, as only the Won can do, he found a way to make her passing about him:

The progress that followed -- progress that so many of you helped to achieve, progress that ultimately made it possible for Michelle and me to be here as President and First Lady --

Odd, given that even Big Guy seems to recognize that it really shouldn’t be all about you:

…year after year, decade in, decade out, Dr. Height went about her work quietly, without fanfare, without self-promotion. She never cared about who got the credit. She didn't need to see her picture in the papers. She understood that the movement gathered strength from the bottom up, those unheralded men and women who don't always make it into the history books but who steadily insisted on their dignity, on their manhood and womanhood…and that willingness to subsume herself, that humility and that grace, is why we honor Dr. Dorothy Height.

and then later, speaking of Dr. Martin Luther King, he relayed Dr. King’s admonition that everyone has "the drum major instinct,"

… the desire to be first, we all want to be at the front of the line.

The great test of a life, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, is to harness that instinct; to redirect it towards advancing the greater good; toward changing a community and a country for the better; toward doing the Lord's work. .

Obama Halo

 

Have you noticed how being in church, especially at funerals, has a way of making people stop temporarily and take stock of themselves? No wonder Big Guy was crying.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Transforming America, One B*#%h at a Time

I guess we owed Fancy Nancy a favor for helping Big Guy ram Obamacare up your butts (I heard she declined the offer of the first born). So, since Lady M is still laying low, and I have a lot of time on my hands – we’ve all seen how dangerous that can be - Toes sent me over to Capital File Magazine’s headquarters to work on their cover shoot.

I think it’s some of my best work yet. What do you think?

Before:

belosi Those craters remind me of something. Oh yeah, Mars.

After:

042910_capfilecover

I can only admit to adding the “highlights,” but that’s a pretty good “Capital Fill” if I do say so myself.

You will find this hard to believe, but our sweet Nancy isn’t really as sweet as you might think. There have been times where she has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive. She and Big Guy could have been separated at birth, aside from the race, gender and age issues. Although we’ve never really seen his birth certificate. Anyway, they get along really well together, as long as he does what she says. Just like with Lady M.

Caboodle Jeans: Workplace Alert

Warning: the following contains adult reflections, adult content and psychological nudity. Viewer discretion is advised.

(with apologies to Michael Savage)

This is your only warning. If you venture on from here, you do so at your own risk.

I really shouldn’t do this sort of thing, it is my job to reflect Lady M in the best possible manner which, as you know, typically requires the use of industrial strength Spanx, duct tape and boob belts. But since one of my faithful MOL’s filed a special request on the Boodles Jeans post, and because we’ve had a spate of down time on our hands since Asheville, I thought I’d play around a bit.

danica jeans

Here is Cinderella’s request:

“MOTUS, How about one of your famous photoshops? This time of MO in the Danica jeans or as we should call them "Caboodle Jeans"(caboose + boodle = Caboodle). Don't forget to include the platform mules. Please, please, please, pretty please.”

 

Well, the name alone should have sounded the alarm - “caboodle jeans.” How could stuffing that keister into something called “caboodle jeans” be anything butt pure evil for cripes sake? But as they say, “idle circuits are the devil’s workshop” and as I said, there really hasn’t been too much going on around here. But as I told Cinder – warned her really -  even my hard drive has it's limitations.

And in case you’re saying to yourself, “Alright already, MOTUS, enough with the disclaimers. You’re starting to sound like a Goldman Sachs prospectus for a new debt instrument,” all I can say is, I tried to warn you. Now: children, out of the room; pets too, just to be safe – well, cats can probably stay - workplace alert and last but not least, break out the eye-bleach.

mo-jeggans-final-watermark2 copy

 Oh, we’re definitely not in Kansas any more, Toto

 

undertakersSorry about the platform mules though, they don’t come any larger than 12 1/2 WWW even in the cyber world.  But don’t worry, the boys are still around to carry water.

Lord have mercy on my soul if Lady M ever catches wind of this. I’ve managed to hide that muffin top for months, hoping she’d get back to the organic salad bar. I sure don’t want to get on her list. She brought back cases of goofer dust from Haiti.

Oh, I shouldn’t have done this. I’m going to hell, aren’t I?

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

MOTUS Gets Letters

Sometimes Lady M’s schedule lightens up around here and that gives me an opportunity to reach into my mailbag and answer some of my viewer mail. Today, I have an email from Cathy that I’d like to respond to. She writes:

Dear MOTUS -
Am thoroughly enjoying your blog.  It is hard trying to keep up with POTUS and FLOTUS's activities and travels and your blog helps.


Just one thing:  are you missing some of their travels?  I don't recall you commenting on their visits to parts of America that have suffered from natural disasters.  Are they keeping these trips under cover, trying to be modest?  I find this hard to believe, but I haven't seen any pictures of them flying over snow-bound towns, Red River-flooded cities, tornado-struck Southern states, etc.  Are these visits happening between foreign trips or golf dates and the press is too tired to go along or what?

 
Perhaps you could point me to coverage of these events and the occasions where POTUS and FLOTUS have brought comfort and help to our fellow citizens.


Thank you for your kind attention.
Cathy
 

Dear Cathy,

Thank you for your kind letter, and your interest in the O’s participation in current American tragedies.

However, I think you are looking at the O’s participation through the old paradigm of natural disasters: hurricanes, floods, tornados etc. But in the most transformative administration since FDR, you need to think outside the box. The new, postmodern, paradigm is more along the lines of “disasters saved or created.” In this light, I think you’ll agree, Big Guy and Lady M have been in attendance at all the big ones. Let’s review.

The economic disaster: (saved)

saving financial crisis signing american recover and rienvestment act Big Guy, signing the Porkulus  Bill with Joey B’s approval

 

 

Obama

 

Big Guy at the temple of Wall Street

 

 

 

economic-stimulus-graphic Open with caution

The health care disaster: (created)

ground hog dayPresident Barack Obama's signature on the health insurance reform bill at the White House, March 23, 2010.  (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

Lady M’s contribution to the health care disaster: Candy Striper-Corpse

2010-03-16-MICHELLEOBAMA23

Illegal alien disaster: (saved)

trojanpinata1Trojan pi├▒ata at the gate

 

 

 

 

 

immigration-9

  english pleaseENGLISH PLEASE! 

Terrorism: (saved and created)

homegrown terrorists Homegrown terrorists, created by Big Guy

 

 

 

Homegrown terrorist, befriended by Big Guy

p__bill-ayers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OBAMA-MILITARY-MIDDLE-EAST-738798 President Obama, supporting the troops fighting terrorism

 

 

 

 

 

Global warming: (saved)

23ethanol_600_1 Big Guy at an ethanol plant in Iowa

 

dufus and gufus

Global doofus meets with global warming goofus

 

 

 

Pandemic of Swine Flu: (saved)

 Was2310034

And I think we are all familiar with the disaster of childhood obesity that Lady M has dedicating her legacy to:

Healthy eating sweet

and exercise: mo hula 2

610x

Inking the Presidential Memorandum creating the Task Force on Childhood Obesity, creating yet another disaster for our crack “Crisis Team” aka, Congress, to get to work on.

 

5 jobs created But did you also know Lady M showed up at the economic disaster? Yep, personally creating or saving 5 jobs herself (I don’t think those are illegal aliens)

 

And NO ONE can claim that she hasn’t showed up at the economic disaster to do her part for the stimulus.

michelles-540-sneakers

$540 Lanvin sneakers, worn to the homeless shelter

 

 

 

I hope this is responsive to your kind letter. If you find it helpful, please feel free to pass it along to your friends who might likewise be locked in an outdated paradigm of public service.

Sincerely,

XXX MOTUS

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

One Step Over the Borderline

It looks like Lady M may have to reprise her Mexico trip as Czarina Diplomacia.

deplaning

Only this time the emphasis won’t be so much on their kids Fat Behinds. This time, it’s strictly political. Apparently our last campaign to impress and placate the citizens didn’t work out the way we had hoped. So, there’s more work to be done.

232x168 

Unfortunately, the latest reports indicate that lawlessness still abounds: the drug cartels are still in control. Murders are still occurring nightly, kidnappings are still commonplace, and rapes and other crimes are up 10-fold. And to make things worse, their cops feel as though their hands are tied.

Also, on the non-crime front, their schools are so overburdened that kids don’t learn much, or they just don’t bother to go any more. The local economy sucks and their citizens can’t find work, so they’re leaving in droves to seek greener pastures.

Why in heaven’s name can’t they control their border?

What? Oh. My mistake.

I guess we’re going to Arizona, not Mexico. Whoops.

RosannaDanna_l NEVER MIND

By the way, did I mention that this mess is all Bush’s fault?

noillegalmexicans

Monday, April 26, 2010

Boodle Jeans

Now this is just wrong.

The other Michelle, aka The Real-Michelle is talkin’ out of school about the Real-Obama’s Stash, aka, the “boodle” which she says is Chicago-eze for “publically subsidized payoffs.

In the age of Obama, “reform” is all about the boodle. So it was with the stimulus. And the massive national service expansion. And the health care bill.[And No Child’s Fat Behind program. ed.] And so it is with the financial “reform” bill set for a Senate vote at around 5:30pm Eastern today. In front of the cameras, the Democrats will lambaste the greedy, Wall Street money. Behind the scenes, they’re pocketing Wall Street campaign donations and working out deals.

obama's stashObama’s Stash 

Humph. Just who does this other know-nothing Michelle think she is? For one thing, in the rest of the country that sort of thing is referred to as crony capitalism. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Secondly, the only boodle around here belongs to Lady M, period. Nonpareille.

bangles

Lady M’s oodles of boodles

Michelle_Obama_Olympians_ad34 boodles wtf-on-backside same as bw and blue

So let’s not hear anymore about Big Guy’s boodles in relation to the very important Financial Reform bill. He’s simply doing what a guy’s gotta’ do to stay ahead of the game.

And this just in from the fashion scene: something new to cram all your boodle into.

danica jeans Danica jean leggings

So don’t tell me that you don’t think Lady M is fashion forward:

standing on the left leg_thumb[6] All she needs is a pair of those sexy platform mules. Oh wait, she already has a pair of them too.

  undertakers 

 

Sexy Dem Boodle-Mules

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Singing in the Rain

An Umbrellas of Cherbourg sort of day for the O’s yesterday, I’m afraid. biltmore cherbourg The Biltmore Estate, Asheville. Might make a nice weekend house.

x610

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Could you put your jacket right there, over the puddle?

 corner kitchenumbrellas of Cherbourg

All the ennui, none of the singing.

You remember the Umbrellas of Cherbourg don’t you? The 1964 pop-art cinematic opera? About a woman who married the  rich jeweler for position and money rather than love? The. Worst. Movie. Evah!  The critics, of course, loved it.

That’s all for today, still cleaning up after Hub’s big anniversary party. There’s meteor dust all over everything.