Saturday, December 31, 2011

Cat. Man. Due.


Doug Ross has named the Winners of his 2011 Fabulous 50 Blog Awards. And guess who is a winner for the third year in a row?

Screenshot Studio capture #371



Thank you sooooo much Doug!


I’m snatching one of Lady M’s Doms for my celebration tonight!

You may have noticed in yesterday’s pictures that Lady M hasn’t had any of her usual non-specified holiday, uh, “facials” this year.


That’s because she read about the potential blowback from the overuse of certain - shall we say - facial enhancing treatments.

Apparently too much Botox and cosmetic “fillers” can cause some facial distortion. Who knew?

      article-2080062-0F4BC18000000578-423_306x423meg-ryan-before-after-cosmetic-surgery-03carla bruni

        ivana trumpjocylyn wildseeinkidmanDM1303_468x689

Geeze: they do all look alike after awhile

It seems that over use of such enhancing elixirs, especially when combined with other surgical “tweeking” pretty much ensures facial features so feline that you automatically get a membership in the  ‘Celebrity Cat Club’.

With all the other baggage we’re dragging around here, we don’t need that valise as well, so we backed off on the “facials” for awhile. At least until we grow back into our own eye sockets.

6566047859_ca33868199_zLady M, helping Norad track Santa on December 24

Plastic surgeon Dr. Dirk Kremer, explains the phenomenon:

‘While the “pillow face” is caused by using too much filler,

mo nose121696675

the “cat face” is the result of having too much of everything — all done badly. Those soaring eyebrows occur when too much Botox is given, especially in the centre of the forehead.

mo why am I here

This makes it very smooth and can cause the centre of the brows to drop.
‘The outer edges of the eyebrows then fly up in a very artificial way. It’s a kind of Fifties diva look that is ridiculous on most women.

mo cat lady

‘The second element of the cat face is cheek fillers. If too much is put in, the enlarged cheek presses against the eye, making it look smaller and slanted. This is especially obvious if the woman is smiling.


Oh, wait, he said smiling:




Butt enough about that: back to our main man: Big Guy’s putting on one last drive to push his fund raising numbers in 2011 for the 2012 campaign over the roof. Or at least his little people are. So please: pass your fair share along to Big Guy’s coffers RIGHT NOW! We can’t wait.

And if you contribute today you’ll automatically be entered to win the chance of a lifetime - dinner with Lady M and Big Guy.

Or you can just purchase some stuff from campaign central and get a free calendar to track the excitement leading up to next November’s election:


obama biden calander

The calendar features our A #1 team: Big Guy and Little Joey.

doofus and goofusDoofus and Goofus

And as for the “Due” part: as a special unspecified holiday gift to the American people, Big Guy has decided to wait awhile before plunging us even further into the debt abyss. I think it’s because of the holiday; with everyone out of town there’s no one left to sign the IOU.

Actually, some of the duly elected representatives of the debtors want to know what happened to the last trillion dollars we let them borrow before borrowing another. 

Apparently we have not yet taken advantage of the “learning moment” that presented itself with the housing crash heard round the world: that borrowing more money than you will ever be able to repay in 10 lifetimes may lead to some really, really bad results. Evidently we don’t believe that past performance is a guarantee of future results.

So we continue to gamble with the people’s future tax receipts as collateral.  What could go wrong?

whitehouse lightening strikeNot underwater yet,  butt the basement is flooded and the sump pump is broke. Along with the Treasury.

Linked By: Katie on Heyoka Patriots, Thanks!

Friday, December 30, 2011

Half Empty and Still Full of It.

Official news from the Western White House: we were on duty yesterday in an effort to  make it perfectly clear that we are on a working vacation. After Big Guy signed the Stalking Awareness Month proclamation on Wednesday, yesterday we visited the shrine room at the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor, pausing for a moment of silence and taking part in a petal ceremony in honor of the 1,177 Arizona crew members who died in the Dec. 7, 1941 attack.

For the occasion Lady M chose a new designer frock in fresh eco-green with a gray and white stripey mid-section, and black trim. We complimented the look with one of our signature mini-me sweaters:



Earlier in the day, Big Guy – who never just lazes around - worked out at Kaneohe Marine Base. Here he is, returning to the compound with that look of satisfaction on his face that nothing other than an exhausting work out can give you:

bo pretty boy

Although, I have been wondering about some of  Big Guy’s facial expressions lately. Could I have been reading him wrong all this time? Could it be that he’s not really the upbeat optimist that we all thought he was after all?


Could that big trademark smile actually be a mask of his true feelings?


        Presidente Optimista…   

                  bo kennedy ctr awdscandyman bo

Could Big Guy actually be a closet pessimist? Mitt Romney seems to think so.

"When the president's characterization of our economy was, 'It could be worse,' it reminded me of Marie Antoinette: 'Let them eat cake,'" Romney said, referring to the infamously dismissive remark toward the poor attributed to the queen.

"This is not a time to be talking about, 'It could be worse.' It's a time to recognize that things should be better,"

I guess that could explain some of those scowly faces we’ve seen sneak across his face from time to time.


   or Presidente Pessimista?

             bo poutbo now what

So now I don’t know. Is Big Guy a glass is half-full sort of guy, or a glass is half-empty sort of guy? Frankly, I think he’s practicing a more moderate position in order to appeal to independents:

pout sarahNot so much a full-on smiley-smiley for the Left, nor a total scowly-rebuke of the Right: more of a moderate grimace of complete disdain for all

BO seems to have found a more moderate pre-election position to take on this: he is going to declare that the glass is completely full: half water, half air.

tumblr_ld6iytgAsC1qztk9mo1_500And you didn’t thing Big Guy knew anything about science!

The air half is designated for the little people; just one more reason for the EPA to block any activity that creates any more air poisoning carbon dioxide.

In keeping with this theme of reducing our carbon footprint, an alternate strategy for approaching the half-empty/half-full glass dilemma might be to just cut back on the materials required to manufacture the glass; we could mandate that from now on glass manufacturers just make the bottom half of the glasses. Since we don’t foresee ever needing the top half again anyway.

That’s sort of how we solved our troublesome unemployment situation: we just stopped counting all those people beyond HOPE who gave up and stopped looking for a job.

So don’t think that Big Guy’s just lazin’ around here at the Western White House: he came up with a new WTF 2012 campaign slogan all on his own:

obama-drinking-beerIt’s Miller time! Bottoms up!

Whatever. The glass will still be full.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Occupying Honolulu

You can’t even go on vacation any more without critics wagging their tongues. People are still carrying on over everything from the price of Lady M’s sundress to the $4 million price tag on the Wons’ unspecified Winter Holiday here in Big Guy’s alleged birth state.


First, let me point out that Big Guy worked hard in a bipartisan fashion all last year in order to get the Budget Control Act (a leading entry in this year’s “most ironic name” contest) passed last August. As you may recall, the BCA was the very popular bipartisan bill that raised our debt ceiling and reduced spending (towards the end of the next decade) by a whopping $1.8 trillion! Butt that’s not all: at Big Guy’s personal direction Congress further agreed to wrangle $7 billion (that’s billion, with a “b”) out of the Federal year-over-year discretionary budget.

Allow me to do the math for you: $7 million cut, minus $4 million vacation – that’s still a whopping $3 million net savings!

So let’s be done with all the carping, OK? Getting a little “me time” doesn’t come cheap when you’re President and First Lady of the (currently) richest country on earth. Besides, it’s not as if Big Guy isn’t working just because he’s on vacation.

bo golf on the island

BTW, this just in: BO has racked up another historic first, just in time for the year end wrap up. He has now set the U.S. Presidential record for the most time spent on a golf course in his first three years of office. Congratulations Mr. President! What are you going to do now? Go to Disney World?

disneyland-obamaOr possibly Fantasyland, if Mitt's right

And now, a News flash: The Wons dined with eight close personal friends and family members last night at their favorite restaurant in Honolulu: Allan Wong’s. They’ve dined there every year we’ve been coming here.

Because Lady M didn’t like the photos they took of her leaving the restaurant way back in 2009, there was a complete photo embargo of the dinner, just like last year.  As you might imagine, the press, who have been dragged away from their Washington homes to cover the Presidential Winter Holiday vacay, were pretty chagrinned by the shabby treatment.

U100P200T1D296017F12DT20091228043148Lady M, leaving Wong’s in 2009 in her pricey designer shoes.

Especially since this year they didn’t even tell the press that they were going out! The press pool only found out because CNN’s Peter Morris just happened to be having dinner at the very popular Wong’s restaurant when the Wons arrived (Peter was not assigned to the pool last night, so he was slumming). Like Mother Nature, it’s never really a good idea to try to fool  the Press. They will find a way to get even.

We just never seem to learn:

          michelle-obama-and-lambertson-truex-canvas-tote-gallery xhawaii610

Anyway, dinner was a big hit with everyone. Allan Wong is really Lady M’s kind of chef, if you know what I mean:

           morimoto. allanwongjpgAllan makes Morimoto look svelte: must be his “3 local butter” tastings

You may recall that I received an anonymous tip last year from a friend, who had a friend who just happened to have another friend dining at Wong’s when the Wons arrived, and sent along a clandestine picture:

mo at wongsLady M, last year, with Big Guy’s half-sister and half-brother-in-law. Big Guy’s other half-brother George (a 99%er) was still in his hut in Kenya eating, well, bugs.

If you look closely at this shot from last year you’ll notice that Lady M’s face does seem to be frozen in a most unnatural fashion. I am not at liberty to comment on that other than, as I’ve already mentioned, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature. 

So don’t expect any more photos for now.


Until then, let the revolution…er, Occupation continue. Whatever.



H/T Fausta

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Chickaboomer, Thanks!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Doubling Down on Debt: It’s a Snow Job

Apparently Big Guy has had a change of heart with respect to our national debt situation:

“The problem is, is that the way Bush has done it over the last eight years is to take out a credit card from the Bank of China in the name of our children, driving up our national debt from $5 trillion for the first 42 presidents – #43 added $4 trillion by his lonesome, so that we now have over $9 trillion of debt that we are going to have to pay back — $30,000 for every man, woman and child. That’s irresponsible. It’s unpatriotic.”

It looks like he voted against being irresponsible and unpatriotic before voting in favor of both. irresponsibility

Let’s get the facts: when Big Guy took office, our National debt was $9 trillion. In addition to last summer’s increase (which was supposed to be accompanied by budget cuts TBD by the “Super Committee”) which raised the ceiling to $15.1 trillion, he’s now going to request the do-nothing Congress (btw, some think doing nothing would be an improvement) approve another increase of $1.2 trillion, which is expected to be enough to get us through the 2012 election.


That will raise the national debt ceiling to over $16 trillion! More than DOUBLE what Big Guy started out with! It’s almost like the miracle of the loaves and fishes, only in reverse. And I think it might be our plan for balancing the budget by having everyone pay their fair share: “You have 5 loaves of bread and 3 fish. I’ll just take 6 loaves and 4 fish, and you can keep the rest.”


Meanwhile, back at campaign fund raising central, here are a few suggestions for what you might want to do with that “extra” $40 that Big Guy ensured you’ll be seeing in your paycheck (or $20, depending on which version of “get the facts” you’re consulting for the truth).

Get in the game! Contribute today to win a seat at Lady M and Big Guy’s dining table!

this could be youWe won’t be teaching you how to fish, butt there will be caviar!

Or…you could skip the dinner and just order a pair of these beauties for only $30!

O martiniGenuine, Obama Hope-Themed martini glasses!

Now you too can enjoy one of Big Guy and Lady M’s favorite high octane cocktails: dirty Stoli Martinis in style! (Note: Stolichnaya vodka and olives not included)

And if you really enjoy dirty martinis, how about a nicely etched pitcher to make up a whole batch of them at once for only $50?

O pitcher

Also good for mixing up a batch of Kool-Aid for the believers. (note: for the unconverted or  apostates add a full bottle of Stoli and administer 1 hour prior to driving them to the polls)

The whole concept makes me a little squeamish: swilling high-octane martinis for HOPE and CHANGE? It sounds like they may have a rather large carbon footprint; that’s not going to sit well with the environmentalists.   

Meanwhile, some of the Wons were spotted yesterday in their favorite tee shirts. Wee Won-2 sported her John Lennon memorial tee:

Hanauma Bay Nature Preserve bo

He wrote so many of her daddy’s favorite songs: Crippled Inside, Mother, You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away, Cold Turkey, Nowhere Man and, of course, Give Peas a Chance.

And Big Guy wore this ad for his favorite shave ice stand:

island snow indeedIsland Snow Job, indeed.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!