Saturday, January 2, 2016

Trumping Hillary

Based on all your tales from the dark side of the holidays I’ve concluded that Trump will make the perfect Republican presidential nominee:  a candidate that drives Progs batsh**t crazy by the mere mention of his name - just like Bush! (This is an odd thing, given The Donald’s history of engaging in Bush Derangement Syndome (BDS)1 himself).

If the GOP just went with Jeb! the Progs could just revive all of the original sloganeering for BDS:

BUSH-JEB-1

Butt it seems they will migrate to Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) quite readily.

trump head pinata

So as we contemplate what new scandal might blow the whole thing apart – perhaps something contained in an as yet unreleased email chain – what say we relax and engage in a little early 2016 Trumping Hillary therapy?

The therapy sessions are easy: it requires no previous knowledge, has no rules and the objective is unclear – just like the Obama/Clinton foreign policy.

For relief at any time, here’s all you have to do:

  • Navigate to my permanent Hillary Therapy Clinic (it's over there -–> in my sidebar)
  • Watch Hillary free fall, banging into and bouncing off The Donald bumpers to your hearts’ content
  • When Hillary lands in a crevasse and stops falling, just grab her by the head, butt or pantsuit with your mouse and push, pull or squeeze her over, under or through the bumpers. She’ll even fit through invisible cracks! I know – hard to believe!
  • At any time if you feel the need you can increase the efficacy of the treatment session by grabbing Hilz in mid-fall with your mouse and flinging her wherever you want! She’ll just keep falling.

No prescription is required and treatment will be available whenever you need it. Go ahead, give my customized Hillary - "What does 'fubar' mean?" - Therapy® session a go and see how much better you feel almost instantly.

Remember: you can’t fix stupid, butt you can fling it around

 

1 “The acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the

presidency—nay—the very existence of George W. Bush.” – Charles Krauthammer

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and iOWNTHEWORLDREPORT, and The Right Reason, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Friday, January 1, 2016

It’s 2016: Let’s Make America Great Again.

Happy New Year MOTI!

js1024_2_Statue_of_Liberty_Centennial_Celebration_1986

We’ve made it to 2016 and I’m confident we can make it to 2017 as well. And because it’s January 1st, I take the opportunity to post this list of resolutions that a friend sent me back in the 70’s. You remember the 70’s; kind of like the current decade: bad economy, incompetent President, Iran holding us hostage. Except we were young then - invulnerable, quick on the rebound, anxious to get on with our lives. Now that we’re not so young, considerably more vulnerable and a bit slower on the rebound and have lived a good part of our lives these resolutions seem even more prudent.

And even though I adopt them anew each January 1, I forget half of them by March and the rest by June. So one more time…

 

RESOLUTIONS

No one every gets out of this world alive.  Resolve, therefore, to maintain a sense of values.

 

Obama_golf

Take care of yourself.  Good health is everyone's major source of wealth.  Without it, happiness is virtually impossible.

 

bo gym

 

Resolve to be cheerful and helpful.  People will repay in kind.

 

bo told you so

Avoid zealots.  They are generally humorless.

 

bo hitler

 

Resolve to listen more and talk less.  No one ever learns anything by talking.

 

gazing on teh Won

Be wary of giving advice.  Wise men don't need it, and fools won't heed it.

 

valerie-jarrett-senior-advisor

Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and wrong.  Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.

 

headshot

Do not equate money with success.  The world abounds with big money makers who are miserable failures as human beings.  What counts most about success is how a person achieves it.

2FA43C1400000578-3375890-image-a-1_1451307688255Choice A: Happy Family. Made money the new age way, graft, grift and giving speeches.

la-donald-trump-poses-with-family-after-candidacy-announcement-20150616Choice B: Happy Family. Made money the old fashioned way, he earned it.

Maybe if we made all of our elected leaders adopt the above resolutions we really could make America great again.

Freedom-610x400

Or at least avoid another O.B.A.M.A.

one-big-ass-mistake-america_design[1]

Happy New Year! May 2016 make America great again.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Thursday, December 31, 2015

Filtering the Internet so you don’t have to: 2016 is SO 1984 all over again.

I see that Google Chrome is introducing a Trump filter which allows you to enjoy a Trump-free internet. I’m not sure what the price-point is for this feature butt I’m sure it will be worth it to people who won’t be voting for The Donald anyway and just don’t want to be bothered.

trump filterI believe this “feature” is known as a “trial run” in government circles.

Butt if they want to sell more of these “featured filters” they should so have a conversation with some of their other stakeholders.

For example, if they could come up with some filters that would guard against people who regularly break the internet they might have something worth calling a presser to announce. I understand why an Obama-free filter for the duration of the occupation would prove to be problematic just try to walk that back after it slipped out; that would so be a micro-aggression.

Butt there are a few other filters that I think could be a commercial success; for example, what would you be willing to pay for a Kardashian filter?

khristmas25f-3-web

Especially if there was an optional enhanced version that included filters of anyone associated with the K’s either by marriage, divorce or political affiliation. I think with that secret sauce thrown on it would sail right past the PC gatekeepers.

1422662295_kanye-west-smiling-pres-obama-kim-kardashian_355c42f058fbf768838dc52d4_kim-kardashian-hillary-clinton-selfie

And if we could get a filter that would zap all the man-spreading going around the intertoobs I’d sure sign on, wouldn’t you?

Screen Capture #052Man-spreading, Obama style

I mean, it’s not so much the space as it is the physicality:

caitlyn-jenner-2Whew! That Caitlyn person is sure giving me life!

Anyway, speaking of filters and bans, I see Michigan’s Upper Penninsula Lake Superior State University has released it’s annual 2016 banned words list. So, try not to use them any more, ok? Here they are:

so, conversation, price point, problematic, stakeholder, secret sauce, break the internet, walk it back, presser, man-spreading, vape, giving me life, physicality.

I skipped “vape” because there seems to be some controversy: while Lake Superior State banned it, the Oxford dictionary just named it “word of the year” so you’re on your own with this one.

11055710_806688242754759_275417770_nAll you need is a pen and an e-cig

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE EVERYONE! HAVE A GOOD TIME, BUTT LET’S BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Hoverboard: The New Weapon of Mass Destruction

Did you get a Hooverboard for Christmas? Me neither. Butt they sure look like fun! And if you don’t believe me, ask Santa – hint: don’t run into immoveable objects.

Or Darth Vader – can you not take a hint?

Or even Mike Tyson – hint: stay on the hard surfaces.

“Everybody’s got a plan...”

So here’s your chance: who would you like to see crowned as this year’s hoverboard fail champion? My first choice is obvious: fit, trim, athletically gifted and blessed with enough “packaging” to prevent severe injury in the event of an unplanned landing.

mo hoverboard2_thumb[1]

My first runner-up pick gets tougher though because in the event Lady M is unable to fulfill her responsibilites as Hoverboard queen, the runner up will assume the title. So given that I think I’ll go with the other Michael, although he got his hoverboard with the optional big boy tires, handles and seat. Butt due to mandatory handicapped accomodations, he still qualifies.

michael moore segway copy_thumb[1]

Or maybe you want to take a hoverboard for a spin yourself. If so, better do it quickly because not only have they been known to spontaneously combust,

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butt they are also being deployed as weapons of mass destruction in certain parts of the world. Once Homeland Security catches on to their nefarious uses, they’ll be banned.

Achmed does a test run on his suicide hoverboard.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Little Man, Big Head

In case there’s anyone who still thinks Rahm willingly left Big Guy’s employ as Chief of Staff to spend more time with his Chicago family: Al Sharpton, Barry’s go-to-man on race just called for Emanuel’s resignation. That should clarify the break up once and for all.

luv ya broI love you bro, butt it’s time to go.

Yes, it’s true; the one time street agitator who was single handedly responsible for destroying the reputation of an innocent NY prosecuter by falsely accusing him of raping Tawana Brawley,

rev al sharpton -Tawana-Brawley-1

of instigating a riot against white owned Freddie’s Fashion Mart, resulting in the death of 8 people,

sharpton fashion mart

who stoked black rage after a Hasidic Jewish driver accidentally killed a young boy with his car and at the funeral railed against “Jewish diamond merchants” who “run down young boys” 

20110818-al_sharpton.crown heights

  is now the country’s most important black leader.

So it was only a matter of time before Big Al and Big Guy would form a mutually beneficial admiration society to fundamentally transform America.

“He’s calculating ... he gets the game.” Sharpton recently told an associate when asked about why he’s bonded with Obama. Politico


obama_calculator_iotw

Naturally The Rev would be the designated hitter to take Rahm out of the game and get Big Guy’s hometown back in the fold before the next election. And so he was dispatched to  "Morning Joe"  to opine that “I've never seen this kind of detachment in the years I've been fighting…”

obama-makes-statement-on-james-foley-isis-beheading-rushes-play-golf-marthas-vineyardReally, Al? 

So let’s just say that the former street agitator - the little man with a big head whose power reflects an inverse relationship to his abilities – will continue to rule the roost for at least another year.

USA NEW YORK OBAMA NATIONAL ACTION NETWORKLittle man, big head; your choice

P.S. Many thanks to Doug Ross – we’re all winners on this bus!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

And The Winner Is...Us!

That’s right, we won!  Michelle’s Mirror wins Doug Ross’ Fabulous 50 Blog Award for 2015:

BEST FIRST LADY BLOG: Michelle's Mirror: nothing butt the naked truth behind FLOTUS with the best comments section east of the Mississippi

fab50-winner2300“best comment section east of the Mississippi.”

“These awards recognize a variety of blogs and websites operating in the conservative hemisphere of the Internet, all of which have worked tirelessly to promote conservatism, free market capitalism, fiscal sanity, the sovereignty of the individual, and otherwise protect America from the cockroach-like Statists -- some in very unique ways.”

I know every MOTI has already been to Larwyn’s Linx and Doug Ross @ Journal this morning, so you know that all your favorite blogs and websites are winners. Butt go back again and visit every winner’s site. Bookmark them all in your handy Freedom Fighters folder.

So MOTI, MOLs, MODs. MYLs, MYDs and FOMs, bask in the glory of this award today, you earned it. Tomorrow we start again, because we’ve got a long, hard slog ahead of us in 2016.

Monday, December 28, 2015

“Colored” Guns Are Racist

It’s not lost on anyone that the biggest supporters of gun control are those who have other people with guns employed to protect them. – Bearing Arms 

guns-make-us-less-safeWell, it may be lost on “those who have other people with guns employed to protect them.”

Take Virginia’s radically anti-gun governor Terry McAuliff for example; his Attorney General recently moved to rescind reciprocal concealed carry permits with 25 states. In retaliation, the GOP legislature is now threatening to pass a bill that would  remove the  Governor’s armed protection unit.

Seems fair, and aren’t we all about being fair? Leveling the playing field? It might be time to remind these elected second-amendment-right-grabbers that they’re elected to serve the public, not to be our Royal Masters. 

imperial-obamaking

So let’s play a little game:

Question: how many armed SS agents do you think accompanied Big Guy and the fam on their annunal shave-ice outing to Island Snow?

(side note: following the Cruz family brouhaha, no pictures of the Wee Wons accompaning daddy to Island Snow were released by any of the major news outlets. Butt I’ve got one:)

Screen Capture #051

Returning again to Island Snow, near the home where the first family is vacationing in Hawaii, Obama ordered a cone with melon, cherry and lime syrups. –Yahoo

Answer: 4 visible and 10 concealed behind the pineapples.

shave ice

Why? Because without guns no matter how many guards you have…

091206radiocity-soldiersstandaloneprod_affiliate79

They’ll all fall down.

Rockettes-Soldiers-e1447171349725

And for the record, Barry rejected the special flavor Island Snow made for him:

He passed over a flavor the dessert shop had created especially for him: Snowbama.

The Snowbama cone is rainbow colored, signifying the strides for gay and lesbian rights made under the Obama presidency. – Yahoo

And he didn’t accept this special rainbow colored gun specially made for him by Crayola either.

gay gunDefinitely a homophobic gun, probably racist as well

Although the AR-15 remains the most racist gun of all:

AR15discrimnation-it's because I'm black

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Sunday, December 27, 2015

More Dim Sum

Yesterday marked the first day of Kwanzaa and - never one to miss a non-Western holiday - Big Guy weighed in:

President Obama extended his "warmest wishes" to families across the U.S. celebrating Kwanzaa, a holiday which honors African-American culture. – Washington Post

A culture, I would point out, that non-African Americans are not welcome to celebrate because that would be cultural appropriation which is somehow offensive. Odd, as Kwanzaa itself is a cultural appropriation of 3 other holiday traditions: Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hannukah.

wintertech3

So African Americans are welcome to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hannukah if they wish. Butt non-African Americans celebrating Kwanzaa would be a micro-aggression - a violation of a societally sanctioned safe space. It’s complicated; perhaps this will help:

To appropriate symbols from cultures that are not one's own is apparently now disrespectful, insensitive and offensive.

American Melting Pot 1 Chinese Mexican

At Oberlin College in Ohio, it is food that is problematic. The student dining hall is accused of modifying "traditional" Asian recipes "without respect". The "undercooked rice and lack of fresh fish" offered in sushi "is disrespectful". The Banh Mi sandwich, served on ciabatta rather than a baguette, is "uninformed", a "gross manipulation" of this "traditional" Vietnamese dish. And the General Tso's chicken dish is prepared with steamed chicken, rather than fried chicken - another disrespectful appropriation.

 

general tso's chicken appropriation

While that sounds like satire allow me to disabuse you of that notion: these SJW are deadly earnest. Ignorant and ill-informed perhaps, butt earnest:

Because each of those named foods are themselves the result, not the victims, of cultural appropriation.

Sushi has an ancient history in Japan but what many people in Japan and the West now see as good sushi - with its rich slices of tuna and salmon - is the result of Japanese chefs adapting their traditional dish to the tastes of American GIs during post-war occupation.

The Banh Mi is a fusion dish of French baguette - brought to Vietnam through French colonialism in the nineteenth century - and Vietnamese flavours.

And General Tso's chicken? It dates back, at the earliest, to the 1950s, has nothing to do with the nineteenth century general Tso Tsung-t'ang, and only became famous when it was first served in a New York Chinese restaurant.

Screen Capture #048

Dishes now guilty of “cultural appropriation” would have once been tauted as successful examples of America’s melting pot approach to assimilation; another notion that you need to be disabused of.

carter melting potThe end of assimilation and the beginning of our cultural experiment in “mosaics”

Butt hey, assimilation is so 20th century. As the 21st century emerges we look to become more of a mosaic of separate butt equal parts. All migrants, immigrants, refugees and anyone else who manages to somehow make it to America’s shore are not only entitled to stay, they are entitled to their safe places. And as a member of the privileged tax paying class you are entitiled to maintain those safe places and ensure they are stocked with food, clothing and prayer rugs and provided with housing, education and medical care that meets their cultural requirements.

Oh yeah, and they also want separate water fountains. 

segregation-drinking-fountain[6]

For their feet. Somehow this all feels terribly, uh…Progressive.

dim sum all dayEven I am amazed at how frequently this culturally appropriated graphic “sums” up the situation.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network