Saturday, October 15, 2011

Eat The Rich and other Transparencies

Barbara at Mommy Life was wondering why the fabulous Obamafoodorama blog has become a “Private Club” and who, exactly, pays for it’s new exclusivity. Let’s start with the easy question, “who pays?” – duh! You do! And thank you very much. As for why the fabulous Eddie turned her fabulous inside-the-tent blog into an exclusive read for friends with privileges, I can’t say for sure. Butt I can do some MSM style journ-o-listic speculation investigation.

If I can break this story wide open, who knows? I might get an assignment to work on some of the other mysterious goings-on around here lately, like Solyndra and Fast and Furious, where the trail has grown cold. Or maybe I could even get an assignment for investigating some of the new stories that some people seem to think are interesting, like who’s behind the OWS movement and why Big Guy had to send troops into Uganda so suddenly that he didn’t even have time to call anyone in Congress? Although they might need to find someone with a little more experience for those.

So let’s start peeling this Obamafoodorama onion:

A couple of days ago, Gerard of American Digest fame, sent this information featuring Paula Deen, Food TeeVee’s own “Butter Babe”, discussing Lady M’s eating habits.

"Well, I did a show with Michelle and I just loved being with her," Deen told Yeas & Nays. "She probably ate more than any other guest I've ever had on the show —she kept eating even during commercials." Deen taught Obama how to fry shrimp during a TV segment in September before the 2008 presidential election. "You know what their favorite foods are — it's hot wings, you know, those kinds of foods that are not necessarily top-of-the-list healthy foods, so she's no different than the rest of us,"


Whoa! "Lady M Protection Circuits”  Alert Mode activated! Bad enough Paula squealed on MO for eating more than any other guest, and talking out of school about her favorite food. Butt “…she’s no different than the rest of us.” ?????

Au contraire, Paula baby, although I can see how she might have thought she was helping to humanize our FLOTUS with that little fabrication. It does seem to fit into our “I Like To Shop At Target”  and I Buy Doggie Treats at Petco” memes.


Lady M picks up a few essentials so hard to find in food deserts: lemons and sticky buns

So thanks for trying to help Paula, butt you really need to leave these matters to the professionals. We aren’t really trying to suggest that Lady M isn’t superior to the rest of us: that’s what makes her special. Part of the 1%. We are simply trying to suggest that she “understands” and “empathizes” with the smallness of our lives. She shows this by posing for photo-ops while appearing to do some of the trivial, meaningless things we small people do, every day, to eke out our meager, pointless existence. See the difference a professional team can make on the spin? It’s called “nuance” and you can only do it if you are a member of the elite intelligentsia or a member of the MSM.

Besides, I saw right through Paula’s suck-up: she’s just ginning up publicity for her upcoming book tour:

This week, Deen is embarking on a book tour by bus (ed. [MOTUS]“copycat!”) which will bring her to Washington next month as one of the headliners for the Metropolitan Cooking and Entertaining Show at the Washington Convention Center. (Chefs Jacques Pepin, Giada De Laurentiis and Guy Fiere are also coming).

If she had just called, I would have been “happy as a pig in slop” to have helped set Paula and company up with some choice Lady M photo-ops for her tour promos.

I could have arranged for MO photo-ops with Paula:

mo-dean Butter Babe and the 2008 candidate’s wife version of Lady M

And I could arrange MO photo-ops with Jacques, and - while she’s never met him - Guy Fieri. She adores him because he always eats the “kind of food she likes best” at all those Diners, Drive-ins and Dives:

Obama Easter Egg Roll


…and MO Photo-ops with Giada De Laurentiis:


In your dreams, babe! Butt 3 out of 4 isn’t bad.

It looks like I’ve gotten off the trail of my investigative report again. I’m going to see if Raj can find a “Stick To The Point” app that I can install. Or possibly I should have him uninstall my “Fun with ADHD” app.

Anyhoo, Obamafoodorama is probably just working up the damage control talking points for our Obots to use on the Sunday morning re-education shows to dispel the foolish notion that Lady M is “no different than the rest of us.” They will dutifully highlight her life of sacrifice, Ivy League education including her Harvard law degree, and most of all, her historic and unique fashion style coupled with her willingness to travel with her “senior staff” to exotic foreign destinations to CHANGE the way the world thinks about America.  If any of you think you are anything like her,  see your mental health professional, right away. You are – at a minimum –delusional, and you might be dangerous.

So as we work on straighten out the mess with Obamafoodorama blog and figure out why Eddie has taken her blog out of the public pool – even though she’s one of the lucky ones, and gets all her scoops as a special member of the official press pool, I’ll just have to cover all of the food scoops around here myself.

Great! Now I have to hold my full time job and 2 part time jobs, just to make ends meet around here. I’m part of the 99%. And that somehow doesn’t seem fair.


MOTUS, cub reporter covering fashion and politics since 2009, now bringing you news from the world of gastronomy as well.

This is the first subversive food treatise I’m going to investigate as the new cub food reporter. I’m sure it has something to do with that angry mob occupying Wall Street:


I report, you deride

Friday, October 14, 2011

A State Dinner for South Korea and a Dog-gone Good One Too!

Big State Dinner last night for South Korean President Lee Myung-bak and the Mrs., First Lady Kim Yoon-ok.  And no, there is no truth to the rumor circulating that the hot appetizers included hot dogs in an ironic nod to traditional Korean gastronomy.

korean hotdog

Chef did suggest it, butt I think we all know how Lady M feels about hot dogs:


Any-hoo, I know you all want to see the ball gown. In keeping with our patronizing fashion, it was designed by Korean-American Doo-Ri Chung:

mo grecian goddess

Front…and back…

a sweep

and even the normally embargoed side view look really good!

mo side

It actually fits quite nicely! So far Doo-Ri is the hands down winner in the correct fit category. Of course, she had help from our svelte pre-election physique due to our starvation diet (and killer workouts), industrial strength containment systems and a little bit of – shall we say - “magic.”

allan mullaley monotice anything?

Screenshot Studio capture #288

It’s an old Hollywood trick, as so many things around here are.

Cree Inc durham nc“Yes Barack, listen to me: you are the Won”

We hired a new stylist for last night, one who has a lot of experience in the world of art and artifice:



bomo so koI think we nailed it.         h/t Fausta & Mommy Life

Anyway, it was a lovely evening despite rain earlier in the day:

           arrival ceremony for South Korean President Lee Myung-bakwhy do we think this is a good look mo

This Chris Benz ensemble with boob-belt presents proof that style, cut and fit matter.


The rain seemed to melt our physique and containment systems a bit, along with our hair:

mo before dinner

I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to say it one last time: over 45, lose the long hair. And I don’t care if it’s imported or home grown, if you catch my drift.


I know there’s a lot of other important news out there, butt I’ve been as busy as a disabled Blackberry, trying to record all of the flash mob sightings of spontaneous Jumping Jack outbreaks around the world, in order to put one in the Win The Future (WTF) column for Lady M.

I will catch up on everything over the weekend, including the plight of the great all- American People of Organize for Wall Street (POWS) protest movement. Don’t miss it.

Oh, by the way, in another nod to enhancing international relations, Lady M has decided to change her official name to “Michelle LaVaughn Obama-A-ok.

Linked By: and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, Thanks!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Secret Life of MO:A Real Housewife of Washington

Yes, it’s true: Lady M is frequently unrecognized.

Here she is telling the formerly fat and happy Al Roker how that happens:

h/t Blonde Gator

I’ll tell you the truth, Lady M doesn’t mind not being recognized when she just runs out to pick up a few necessities:


Lady M picks up a few jumbo rolls of BO tissue: the quicker pucker-upper

h/t Fausta

And she doesn’t mind not being recognized when she takes the beloved family pet, Little Bo, to Petco for his de-worming.

Screenshot Studio capture #267Hey little guy! Who let you out?

What really bugs her is not being recognized for the really important things she does for her country. Sure, she’s received many kudos for her No Child’s Fat Behind program for eliminating childhood obesity in one generation (mostly from the SEIU).

Butt I’m talking about all the things she does behind the scenes that she can’t – by virtue of the Constitution – step forward and take credit for. Like transforming America from a hateful, inequitable republic to a country that’s much more fair, much more equitable and much more dedicated to social justice. Like Venezuela.

So when you think Lady M’s acting a little testy,

angry michelleInsulin Alert! Code Red!

try to be a little more understanding. While Big Guy gets credit for all the hard work he does, she’s forced – like our other undocumented workers – to work in the shadows.




And when Big Guy picked up his Nobel Prize for World Readership, all Lady M got was this crummy tee-shirt:

bo and mo teeavailable only in red

So there are a lot of things that Lady M hasn’t been recognized for. Starting with all of the decisions that up until now Big Guy and Eric the Holder have gotten all the credit for.

gun walker stashGun walker stash found in a Mexican drug cartel’s enforcers home base: where on earth did they come from? Oh that’s right! We gave them to him.

They were all the results of the famous (at least inside the Big White) “Lady M/Val-Jar brain trust,” as it’s known around here. Butt now Lady M is graciously going to duck even further into the shadows of the East Wing and let Ricky take all the credit. Because that’s just the way she is.

h/t Fausta

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Jumping Jacks World Record: Another Challenge for the 99%

We are the 53%: Alinsky Works For Us Now

too busy


Well, that was fun. Yesterday I mean. I was accused of everything from being a “trust fund baby” (heh!) to a “cherry picking” yellow journalist (I don’t even have a union card). Oh, and also “retarded” - I thought that word was off the officially-sanctioned PC list.

Whew! Pretty heady stuff for a simple mirror from NASA with a dream.

Butt unfortunately, it’s back to business as usual today. First an update on yesterday’s Jumping Jack Marathon, brought to you by the Guinness Book of World Records. The flash mob didn’t always go as planned, butt then, how many photo ops do?

It was an exhausting event calling on Lady M to jump with the kids for a full minute without a break. And it even impressed the JammieWearingFool: “Wow, a solid minute! She's gonna need some cheeseburgers to replenish after that solid minute of exercise.” AND fries!

I don’t really care if Guinness doesn’t sanction our new world record, because even JWF could see Lady M’s magic at work in this exchange between two of the wee participants:

"She (Lady M) touched my hand!" one yelled. "She touched my face!" countered another. "She touched my hand, and I'm never washing it again!" the first retorted


On the plus side though, all containment systems fully deployed:


creating that enviable long sleek look we’ve come to expect from Lady M’s athletic events.


Meanwhile, also pairing up with Team Guinness, Big Guy was just hanging with the folks in  Orlando. He was showing solidarity with his (unemployed) union brothers in the construction trade by having a beer with them at the Harp and Celt.“They bring a Bud, I’ll bring a Guinness” (soon to be a proud sponsor of Obama For America):

uunemployed construction workers as they sit down for a discussion at the Harp and Celt Restaurant and Irish Pub in Orlando, Florida, OctoberHyping a brew from one of his ancestral homelands, Big Guy demonstrates that he, too, can act like he doesn’t know jack s**t.

No word yet on whether we broke that GBoR’s Jumping Jack record, butt I’m betting “YES!” – official announcement at 3:00 pm today, so watch for tweets. Unfortunately, even though Big Guy promised the guys down at the shop bar that he would not rest until “every American who wants a job, has a job,” Harry Reid was unable to pass his JOBS, JOBS, JOBS bill last night. Which is good, because now we can proceed full speed ahead with the “Republicans are trying to destroy the economy on purpose” meme.

Dems originally eschewed this strategy:

This actually isn’t an argument that Dems initially wanted to embrace. As Kevin Drum pointed out back in June, the notion that they’d take this route seemed far fetched. “No serious person in a position of real influence really wants to accuse an entire party of cynically trying to tank the economy,” Drum noted. “But it would sure make headlines if Obama decided to take up this ball and run with it.”

Now they’re going there in a big way.

Butt once Big Guy gave his handmaidens a “little homework assignment” to “go ask Republicans what their jobs plan is,” the fix was in. Let the games begin.

mayb e we should look for a round tableBig Guy meets with his Council on Jobs and Competitiveness in Pittsburgh

The JOBS, JOBS, JOBS Council is made up primarily of big time donors, in order to keep disagreement and arguments to a minimum. If you ask me (nobody did) I think I would change up the optics a bit: ditch the TOTUS mosh pit and switch to a round table.  King Arthur is clearly the superior imagery.

Now, as promised, and with no further ado, a few more entries from the POWS gallery. And as God is my witness, and despite the fact that “cherry picking” is what I do, you can just screen-grab at random from this concurrently highly entertaining and deeply depressing site:

of course they owe you a living-not a jobNow “they” owe us LIVING, not just a job? And he’s one of the lucky ones: isn’t that the EPITOMY of irony? (PS: Mom sounds like one of the lucky ones too)

grandmaDrugs? No, seriously, I know what she means: crime is the only answer after your unemployment runs out. Just curious, is grandson’s mom a felon too? And his dad? Doesn’t that qualify him for Social Security payments or something?

another felonSounds like we’ve located another felon. Although I’m not sure that would keep you out of the country any more.

There are tons more, butt I’ve got to get back to work.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

The People of OWS: like the people of Wal-Mart, only not as smart


MOTUS has now gone international! Picked up by Mail OnLine

Welcome Mail OnLine readers, and yes, I do know how to spell “but” butt around here, we do things a little differently


Guess who got Instalanched at 8:24 AM EST today…MOI!!!

Welcome instapundit readers  and thank you sooooo much Glen “instapundit” Reynolds!

While Lady M’s gearing up for her world record breaking jumping jack marathon, I’ve decided to perform a public service myself by highlighting the tragedy of OWS. Accordingly, I’m dedicating today’s post to the People of Occupy Wall Street (POWS). They’ll tell you in their own words how they came to be part of the 99%. A portion of all proceeds from today’s post will be donated to the 501(c)(9) charity, Graduates With Severe Economic Disorders. You can read their complete stories on the People of Occupy Wall Street website, where I’m betting you can make a donation too.

Here are the plights of just a few of the 99 percenters; I’ll let them tell you their stories in their own words:

2003 - definitely bush's faultHome foreclosed in 2003? Definitely Bush’s fault.

hint - easier to get a job without nose ballsOnce you get your Psych degree you’ll probably be smart enough to figure out what the point is. Butt here’s a little free job advice: it’s easier to land a job without nose balls. Especially if you’re going into foodservice, which you will be with a degree in Psych.

did you get fries with that 7 year degree7 years? What did you major in, Government Efficiency Studies? And - this is just a nit - butt most people shorthand “thousand” with a “k” not a “g” – although the “g” does demonstrate creativity and independent thinking. Two things frowned on in Government, so maybe you could try foodservice too.

maybe you shouldn't bite the hand that feeds your familyTough lesson dude: Didn’t Mom ever tell you not to bite the hand that feeds you? Moron.

the borders don't keep you in either

This one is unreadable, butt here’s a transcription of her key points:

“I want out!

I was told to be a Proud American and I’ve been fighting since high school to get out of this country.

I do not want to belong to a this society that first puts a blindfold on its people and then throws it into the unknown.”

Good news for you sweetheart! Since our borders can’t even keep people out, they sure can’t keep people like you in either! Don’t forget to pack hand sanitizer.

Political science - and you can't figure out why you can't get a job

A political science degree? Isn’t that special! And still you can’t figure out why you can’t find a job? Here’s a little hint that might help you out on that 128th job app: spend less time on your demands, more time on how you might be of some use to your potential employer. You know, because they’ll be paying you, not the other way around?

This POWS has a footnote under his message. Like the young lady above he, too, is feeling like he’ll be forced to join the great brain drain and emigrate to find opportunity:

“Was promised a future and have worked my ass off to actually deserve it. Now I’m feeling like my only chance is to pursue opportunities ANYWHERE BUT the United States.”

Good luck dude. I understand that Somalia is looking for a few good political science majors from a top tier school. Don’t forget your hand sanitizer either.

whoa - isn't anyone monitoring this siteWhoa! Tea Party alert! Five degrees, no debt, $150k income? Isn’t anyone monitoring this site?

you look like a smart girl wearing a black braYou look like a smart girl in a black bra, so let’s analyze together: 12 years of college, 3 degrees – one PhD (that’s a degree right? not a bra size?) – and still no decent job? Have you ever watched “What not to wear” honey? It couldn’t hurt. And I think it might help, as I see you do follow instructions well. That IS lucky!


what did I do wrong - duh teaching degreeWhat did you do wrong? Duh! Let’s take this from the top: Nobody gets their masters degree in education BEFORE getting a teaching job! That way they can hire you at a cheap rate, pay for your masters and, since the teachers union makes them, they’ll pay you a whole lot more for getting your masters degree – that they paid for. Sheeze! You’re really too dumb to be a teacher anyway.Sorry about the sexual harassment though. And your boss’ new motorcycles? What a capitalist pig.

so ok stay in botswansSo ok, have a nice life in Botswana. Don’t forget to write. You might want to ask Mom to send hand sanitizer.


Wait, wait! Don’t tell me! You have a masters degree in something that ends in “studies” and starts with “women’s.” If your student loan really grew by $80k in  7 years of “underemployment” I’m betting you didn’t major in math. Or accounting. Or anything else that qualifies you to do anything other than inquire if your customers want to enjoy fries along with their order.

If I’m right, you weren’t “underemployed” you were “overcharged” for what passes as “an education” these days.

There are lots more stories from the annals of the POWS, and I’ll try to highlight a few more every day, just to remind ourselves of the challenges facing America in the months and years ahead.

There’s just one thing that confuses me: a lot of these POWS seem to be mad that they were forced to accumulate a ton of debt with the stew-dent loans that they were tricked into taking to support them for 7 years while completing their degrees in Recycling Studies and beer pong. Now they find out - not only can they not get a job in the field that they picked to “follow their bliss” butt they’re expected to pay their loans back too! That is so unfair. No wonder they want to spread the the other 1%’s wealth around.

Butt seriously: why are they occupying Wall Street? Shouldn’t they be occupying the administration buildings of the universities? Aren’t they the ones cranking out worthless degrees that they’re charging $10-100,000 a year for? How, exactly, is this Colgate-Palmolive’s fault? Other than the fact they’re successful, greedy capitalists?

Did greedy capitalists convince these hapless kids to spend a king’s ransom for a BA in World Politics? Did Exxon Mobil make them sign a contract to borrow $110K in exchange of a Masters in Global Social and Sustainable Enterprises? Did Bank of America trick the kids into borrowing more money than their useless degree is likely to generate in net worth in a lifetime?

I sure hate to spoil a good pity party, butt some people think the (mostly tax funded) education cartel is what created the Education Bubble. I’m sorry it burst. Butt if you’re going to protest, take it to the campuses. They’re even better equipped than Wall Street to recycle garbage. And they have nice warm buildings for when the weather turns on you.

A very special H/T to BKeyser for sharing this very special site with all of us, and for his own  contribution to the POWS:

6228361845_028688737f_bFlickr photo BKeyser

This PSA was brought to you by MOTUS: I reflect, you deride.

Non-workers of the world, UNITE! h/t Mark Steyn

UPDATE: Please sign my ”We the People” petition asking President Obama to resign right away. We only have until October 23 to get 5,000 signatures in order to receive an official White House response.

Linked By: Instapundit: INSTALANCHED! WooHoo!, and MailOnline UK, and Blonde on NewsBusters, and MS on Ace of Spades HQ, and Best snark here on Weasel Zippers, and, and Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Zilla of the Reststance, and RIGHTWING NEWS, and linkiest, and The Corey & Jay Show, and The Razor for The Watcher of Weasels Council, and A.N.U.S., Thanks!