Saturday, April 12, 2014

Ricky, Bo, Mo, Joe, Val and Ahmad. A Good Time Was Had.

On Thursday, an out-of-sorts and whiny Ricky appeared at The Rev’s National Action Network to play the race card in the third person.

holderAttorney General for the most transparent administration in history

On Friday the lecturer-in-chief himself showed up:

In a fiery speech, Obama said that Republicans are threatening the right to vote. Meanwhile, Obama’s appearance represented a presidential seal of approval of Sharpton’s role as a civil rights activist, amid the new revelations about how Sharpton used a wire to record mobsters for the feds in the 1980s.

obama rev al sharpton

Channeling Joey “they want to put you back in chains” Biden’s civil rights bravado, BO fanned the flames of racial animosity by complaining about the Republicans’

 “well organized and well funded efforts to undo these gains,”  “The stark simple truth is this: The right to vote is threatened today,”

While throwing a little class envy into the equation for good measure:

“Just because you don’t have the money to travel abroad doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to vote here at home.”

illegal-alien-vote1That’s right! If you can’t afford to go home to vote, vote here instead.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Don’t Go There, Buddy!

“The best way to control opposition is to lead it ourselves.”Vladimir Ilyich Lenin


What Eric Holder actually said: (bold added)

“And since the day I became Attorney General in 2009, I have been proud to stand alongside you in supporting efforts to advance the cause of justice that has always been at the center of this Administration’s work.

I’m pleased to note that the last five years have been defined by significant strides and lasting reforms – even in the face of unprecedented, unwarranted ugly and divisive adversity. And if you don’t believe that, you look at the way …forget about me… forget about me , you look at the way the Attorney General of the United States was treated yesterday by a House committee. Had nothing to do with me what Attorney General has ever had to deal with that kind of treatment? What President has ever had to deal with that kind of treatment. Last summer, after a narrowly split but divided Supreme Court struck down a key part of the historic Voting Rights Act of 1965, my colleagues and I took action – by challenging specific laws, in North Carolina and Texas, that could disproportionately restrict access to the ballot box among some populations.”

And now, direct from the most transparent administration ever…(drum roll)

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Michelle’s Exciting New Exercise Program: Ladies, Get Your Guns!

Yes, I know the Wons rushed off to a couple of Texas fundraisers after the Fort Hood memorial ceremony. What did you expect? BO is the fundraiser-in-chief.

And being constantly out there, raising money on the backs of the rich, Democratic 99 percenters, is precisely why Big Guy needs an outlet for all the stress that sort of hypocrisy generates.

I’m sure you all remember when Big Guy got hooked on last year’s exercise craze, “Prancersizing.” 

prancercise_with_obamah/t Looking Spoon

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Loyal Opposition: It Only Happens Every 2 Years…Don’t Miss It

Did you feel it last night? The cosmic “opposition”?

“Every two years, Mars reaches a point in its orbit called "opposition," when the planet lies directly opposite the sun in Earth's sky.”


This amazing cosmic event, called “Opposition,” happens just once every 2 years. It produces a spectacular view of a bright orange Mars rising near sunset which remains visible all night long.

And apparently it also triggers another fleeting cosmic lunar event: the Republicans align in actual “Opposition” to Democrats. Nobody is sure why, butt scientists speculate it has something to do with shifting gravity, cosmic radiation or upcoming Congressional elections. Whatever the cause, GOP leaders were spotted around the Capital yesterday practicing stern facial expressions, sans tears.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Gender Pay Gaps and the Mighty Obama Samurai Pen

WOW!  And by that by that I mean the “War on Women” of course. Today is “Equal Pay Day,” which is an annual event to bring public awareness to the insidious “gender wage gap.”

Even though some contend that the gender pay gap is nothing butt a myth, we never let facts get in the way of a good emotional argument that leads to “Executive Action.”

So today we’re heading into battle once again: with our mighty pen.

bo pen

Although I must say, our battles are starting to sound increasingly small:

In his latest effort to circumvent Congress and highlight an issue that he hopes can help fellow Democrats' chances at the polls in November, President Obama will announce a pair of moves on Tuesday that his administration says will strengthen enforcement of equal pay laws for women.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Rate the Psychopath: a New Game

Do you know how to spot a psychopath? 

bo mad godfather pose

Test your skills:

“At heart, Hare’s test is simple: a list of 20 criteria, each given a score of 0 (if it doesn’t apply to the person), 1 (if it partially applies) or 2 (if it fully applies). The list includes: glibness and superficial charm, grandiose sense of self-worth, cunning/manipulative, pathological lying, emotional shallowness, callousness and lack of empathy, a tendency to boredom, impulsivity, criminal versatility, behavioural problems in early life, juvenile delinquency, and promiscuous sexual behaviour.”


Glib, check.

Obama -smirk

Superficial charm, check.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Sunday: First World Problems Day

Today is First World Problem (FWP) Day: In which we examine issues and problems that only occur because as a culture we have more than our fair share of everything, including time to be outraged:

So here we go, in no particular order, this week’s First World Problems:

1. Our culture of plenty has resulted in an epidemic of obesity.

Overweight kids have forced Lady M to lower the boom on fattening school lunches, resulting in cut backs on portions and variety.

Screenshot Studio capture #1867

This has caused some student blow-back. (caution: “colorful” language)


2. Our culture of Plenty and resulting obesity epidemic has caused a preoccupation with body-image:

Is your selfie looking a little on the plump side? There’s an app for that: Skinneepix.  Now anyone can look like a super-slimmed down version of themselves. Note: I find this FWP quite threatening as it seriously impacts my job security.


3. Our culture of plenty provides time to think about everyone who causes us personal slights and insults:

We now have time to be outraged by the government’s failure to enforce strict separation of church and state: Majed Moughni of Dearbornistan was upset that his kids in public school were invited to an event that belaboredly avoided using the word “Easter” in its flyer for an Easter egg hunt.

“My son was like, ‘Dad, I really don’t feel comfortable getting these flyers, telling me to go to church. I thought churches are not supposed to mix with schools.’ ”

egg headed muslim fatherConcerned parent showing offensive “eggstravaganza” invitation: at a CHRISTIAN CHURCH!

My reaction is like, Dad, when did  “interfaith dialogue” turn into a one-way street?”

4. Our culture of plenty has allowed us to eliminate many childhood maladies.

Having cured or eliminated so many childhood diseases, we have to invent new ones to provide a focus for parental concern over their children’s failure to be exceptional. Among the hot new diagnoses of abnormality: “boyhood.”

boy knife electric outlet what could go wrong

What are we doing to young boys? The side effects of the drugs used to address the pathology known as “boyhood” include heart problems, bipolar disorder, increased aggressive behavior, manic symptoms, sleeping problems, weight loss, suicidal ideation, and more. Is is worth it? Are we better off as a society with the massive use of these drugs?

And my final First World Problem of the week:

5. Our culture of plenty has resulted in a preoccupation with the superficial.

between 2 ferns

No, I’m not talking about our Talk-Show-Guest-In-Chief, I’m talking about fashion.

And I admit,  I’m as guilty as anyone. After all, reflecting on fashion is my one of my many pre-programmed destinies. Butt clearly I am not alone; take a look at how many people had the same reaction I did to our normally lovely Megyn Kelly’s unfortunate wardrobe choice for last Friday’s show:

megyn-kellyYeah, no. This is a fashion-fail.

Hoo-wee! The comments are brutal. Some even compared Megyn’s jumper over tight t-shirt dress to Oprah’s infamous, uh, phallic dress:


Let’s not get carried away. I confess, on Saturday’s post I considered asking if any of my regular readers were weary of the Fox babes coming to work in their Speedos. Then I determined that some restraint was in order as I, myself, have occasionally broadcast *ahem* less than optional reflections of Lady M’s *ahem* bosoms.

mo's bad bra day

However, as the Twitterverse has spoken, and will not be silenced by the angry mob, I pass this on for informational purposes only.

I’m sure I’ve missed many of last week’s First World Problems. Feel free to augment my report.

Meanwhile: don’t forget to eat your FWP lunch, as proscribed by your government - that knows what’s good for you better than you do.

mcdonalds mini meal

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and @blogho on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network