Today is First World Problem (FWP) Day: In which we examine issues and problems that only occur because as a culture we have more than our fair share of everything, including time to be outraged:
So here we go, in no particular order, this week’s First World Problems:
1. Our culture of plenty has resulted in an epidemic of obesity.
Overweight kids have forced Lady M to lower the boom on fattening school lunches, resulting in cut backs on portions and variety.
This has caused some student blow-back. (caution: “colorful” language)
2. Our culture of Plenty and resulting obesity epidemic has caused a preoccupation with body-image:
Is your selfie looking a little on the plump side? There’s an app for that: Skinneepix. Now anyone can look like a super-slimmed down version of themselves. Note: I find this FWP quite threatening as it seriously impacts my job security.
3. Our culture of plenty provides time to think about everyone who causes us personal slights and insults:
We now have time to be outraged by the government’s failure to enforce strict separation of church and state: Majed Moughni of Dearbornistan was upset that his kids in public school were invited to an event that belaboredly avoided using the word “Easter” in its flyer for an Easter egg hunt.
“My son was like, ‘Dad, I really don’t feel comfortable getting these flyers, telling me to go to church. I thought churches are not supposed to mix with schools.’ ”
My reaction is “like, Dad, when did “interfaith dialogue” turn into a one-way street?”
4. Our culture of plenty has allowed us to eliminate many childhood maladies.
Having cured or eliminated so many childhood diseases, we have to invent new ones to provide a focus for parental concern over their children’s failure to be exceptional. Among the hot new diagnoses of abnormality: “boyhood.”
What are we doing to young boys? The side effects of the drugs used to address the pathology known as “boyhood” include heart problems, bipolar disorder, increased aggressive behavior, manic symptoms, sleeping problems, weight loss, suicidal ideation, and more. Is is worth it? Are we better off as a society with the massive use of these drugs?
And my final First World Problem of the week:
5. Our culture of plenty has resulted in a preoccupation with the superficial.
No, I’m not talking about our Talk-Show-Guest-In-Chief, I’m talking about fashion.
And I admit, I’m as guilty as anyone. After all, reflecting on fashion is my one of my many pre-programmed destinies. Butt clearly I am not alone; take a look at how many people had the same reaction I did to our normally lovely Megyn Kelly’s unfortunate wardrobe choice for last Friday’s show:
Hoo-wee! The comments are brutal. Some even compared Megyn’s jumper over tight t-shirt dress to Oprah’s infamous, uh, phallic dress:
Let’s not get carried away. I confess, on Saturday’s post I considered asking if any of my regular readers were weary of the Fox babes coming to work in their Speedos. Then I determined that some restraint was in order as I, myself, have occasionally broadcast *ahem* less than optional reflections of Lady M’s *ahem* bosoms.
However, as the Twitterverse has spoken, and will not be silenced by the angry mob, I pass this on for informational purposes only.
I’m sure I’ve missed many of last week’s First World Problems. Feel free to augment my report.
Meanwhile: don’t forget to eat your FWP lunch, as proscribed by your government - that knows what’s good for you better than you do.
Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network