Saturday, September 18, 2021

Wait: Isn’t Kamala In Charge Of This Mess?

And now this weekend traffic and weather update from Del Rio,TX:

Expect long delays as traffic backs up at the International Bridge due to deconstruction on the American side.

There should be a deluge of Haitians with widely scattered Mexicans and a few gusts of terrorists throughout the weekend. The extended outlook calls for more of the same with inevitable flooding and no relief in sight. Despite this fact the Federal Government is not expected to declare the area a disaster zone.

When contacted, a spokesmouth for the Administration commented that the visitors were behaving better than the insurrectionists of 1/6, noting that it appeared they were all lining up in an orderly fashion to present themselves to border guards as required prior to entering the already deluged country.

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“The Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” -  George Orwell, 1984

Meet our new mascot: Aberzombie, the dystopian cat

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Friday, September 17, 2021

“I’ve Got More Brains Than I Know What To Do With.”

Meanwhile, somewhere on Chouteau Avenue in South St. Louis…

brains 25 cents donuts 60 cents a dozen

You can apparently still get donuts for a nickel each but brains will set you back two bits.

Even Homer Simpson can do that math.

136-1362127_simpsons-png

That questionable nutritional choice however might explain Homer’s brain development – or lack there of.

homer_brain_scanHomer gets a brain scan…

And it might partially explain old  “You cannot go to a 7/11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent, I’m not joking,” Joe.

joey donutsJoey Donuts

Which in turn could partially explain the brain currently playing a U.S. President on the world stage:

joey homer“I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, I suspect.” – Joe Biden

Joe Biden: he’s probably smarter than you. And that’s why he’s in charge.

Only a really Big Brain could manage to close Afghanistan’s borders so abandoned Americans can’t get out while opening the U.S. border so illegals and other assorted terrorists can flood in.

calvin more brains than I know what to do with

 

**Truth in journalism disclosure: that brain sandwich in South St. Louis will now set you back $7.29, and escalating by the week. Thank you Big Brain President Joey! You are one dog-faced pony soldier.

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Late Summer Souls

 

beach grass blowing2poem late summerCumulus Life

I would like to be one of those late-summer souls, pushing on optimistically through concrete, unencumbered by August’s knowledge of declination,

marigold2

oblivious of the fractures, decay

marigold breaking-through-concrete

and underlying rot. I would love to push through as the last bloom of the season, luxuriating in the sand’s warmth accumulated over the long summer.

beach pea lathyrus japonicus lake huronLathyrus Japanicus, wild, common name: Beach Pea

But I’m a bit spent for that. I will just sow a few seeds in the sand

wild beach pea Lathyrus japonicus fr Calvert Island

and trust that they will germinate in a better clime. Somewhere, sometime. Because life goes on.

flower-breaking-through-pavement-anette-kristiansson

And we all have to do our part.

flower-tree-growing-concrete-pavement-110

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Stupidity and Self-Immolation: That Should Do The Trick

“There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.” – Frank Zappa

Good grief California, as an entity you really are as stupid as we make you out to be. If your track record weren’t so bad I’d entertain the concept that the only way your citizens decided to retain Governor Swell-head was due to voter fraud and Dominion machines.

But given that you’ve consistently voted yourselves into fiscal, energy, environmental and moral collapse it’s fairly easy to believe that you did so, once again, on your own.

So thanks for proving that hate is still alive – despite your yard signs to the contrary – and living in your state.

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And that “Trump-hate” trumps everything for some people.

commitment to stupidity

My deepest condolences to those of you living there who are still sane. At this point I don’t know what else to say. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

originality

It seems your state has surpassed insanity and settled for stupidity and self-immolation.

dogbert demons of stupidity

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Only In America

Sketch for AOC’s stunning gown specially designed for her to wear to New York’s glitzy Met Gala:

aoc dress design

If you want to stick it to the rich – and NY Democratic-Socialist Representative, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez clearly does - what better platform than the ritzy the $30k/ticket Met Gala, attended by every socialite, celebrity and wanna-be on the planet? And what better platform to display your political platform on than, um, the ‘platform’ that your Maker gave you?

1340142478Democratic Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made quite the political statement at the Met Gala by getting ‘tax the rich’ inscribed onto her stunning dress butt.

And nothing gets the message across like a custom-designed ($$$) Brother Vellies gown with ‘Tax the Rich’ emblazoned across the butt. It was accessorized, appropriately, with red shoes.

red shoes for aocBrother Vellies founder and designer, Aurora James, ties AOC into the lace-up red shoes that go with the killer-message gown.

What a classy, and ironic, act for the working class’s champion. She’s standing up for the little guy because as we all know America is run by the rich, white supremacist class. And the working stiffs, especially the brown or black ones, don’t stand a chance of ever reaching the Halls of Power. Oh wait…

squad members of congressThe Bartender-to-Congresswomen-in-10-month wonder, along with 2 other Squad members, also raised in working class families. But yeah, AMERICA SUCKS!

And in other Cinderella stories: Joe Biden – working class boy from Scranton who was finally hoisted into the most powerful position in the world - bumbled his way through a campaign rally for Pretty-Boy-Newsom yesterday before staff had to cut his mic again so he could be put down for a nap.

I for one would be in favor of a classless America if it meant the demise of the effete and the elite class. But alas, the middle class is the only one that will be smited in the great Democratic Socialist class war.

Monday, September 13, 2021

Never Place Your Trust In That Which Has Deceived Us Even Once

linus education

Many schools were back in session last month. Most of the remainder started the day after Labor Day. But the one with a really good teachers’ union - New York City - didn’t start until today.

A lot of schools around the country are still closed to on-site learning due to cooties. Although there are those wags who claim that ALL schools are closed to on-site learning, and have been for years.

dumbed down indoctrination

So if you wish your children to learn actual facts about history, be exposed to real literature, learn how to do mathematical calculations and {{shudder}} think for themselves you will pretty much have to teach them yourself.

education smart and dumb

The public education system has proved itself to be even more dangerous that the rest of the government bureaucracies that Boomers boomed against back in their youth. I guess that proves the hypothesis that as a species we don’t do learning particularly well.  

tumblr_p8q2u0Sznw1w6rviko1_250And that, my little one, is how you do learning.

Sunday, September 12, 2021

What A Peach

I picked up what I suspect are the last of the summer peaches at the farmer’s market on Friday.

peaches in basket

Local pears, as has been the case for the past decade or so, were in very short supply. I fear they have fallen out of favor with the consuming public over the years and that as the trees die off they are replaced with more marketable fruit such as peaches or apples. For the life of me I can’t imagine why, I personally would choose a perfectly ripe, juicy Bartlett pear over a peach any day of the week. The problem may be image. Although there are glamour pears that are as gorgeous as they are delicious they are best procured from such fruit giants as Harry and David if you don’t live in Oregon or Washington. Our local conditions tend to favor only the lowly Bartlett. It is an excellent variety to my mind: iconic shape, sweet and juicy when ripe but with a very short shelf-life. It’s also prone to bruising and browning and presents overall as a less-than-perfect specimen in a world consumed with style over substance.

bartlettes

They are at peak eating for no more than a day so must be enjoyed on their time, not yours. They don’t keep well in the refrigerator like a peach will for a few days. And once the rot begins - from the core out generally – there is nothing that can be done other than to pitch them and hope for a better batch next time.

But that’s another post. This post is about peaches.

ripening-peaches

I’m making a pie because I have so many peaches and pie makes me happy.

peach pieThis isn’t mine – I haven’t made it yet – but I hope it will look like this.

Peach Pie

4 c. sliced peaches (can use frozen peaches but make sure they’re thawed and at room temp)

3 tbs. corn starch

¾-1 cup sugar – depending on peaches sweetness

Pinch of salt

¼ tsp cinnamon

¼ tsp almond extract

1 ½ tbs. butter, cut in small pieces

2 prepared pie crusts (yes, I use Pillsbury, no I don’t consider it cheating)

 

Preheat to 400 degrees.

Mix dry ingredients together, combine well with peaches and almond extract,

 

Put peaches in pastry lined pie plate. Dot with butter and cover with second pastry. Crimp edges, trying  to seal well to prevent boil overs. Make several slits for steam to escape, brush crust with a bit of milk, sprinkle lightly with sugar and place on a baking sheet if you want to prevent juices from getting all over your oven.

 

Wrap edges in tinfoil and bake for 40 minutes. Check and remove tinfoil. May take another 15-25 minutes depending on the juiciness of the peaches. Remove when bubbly and crust is evenly browned.

Maybe we’ll talk more about pears tomorrow.

pears ready to eat