Saturday, April 4, 2009

MOTUS 2010 New Years Mosaic Key

Hello loyal MOTUS readers. My name is Raj.

How is the weather where you are?

I understand that millions of you will not prefer to be so diligent as to find all of the people in the mosaic and would like your own handy “cheat-sheet”. MOTUS explained to me what is a “cheat-sheet” because we do not have these assistance devices in my home village.

Having a now complete understanding of my assignment, I have helped MOTUS to provide you promptly with a useful key (in merely alphabetical order) to help you unlock the secrets of who is reflected in MOTUS’ Happy New Year Mosaic.

May I say to all of you from me, Raj, thank you for allowing me the honor of providing prompt, reliable technical support, and please resume enjoying a very Happy New Year.

PEOPLE IN MOTUS 2010 NEW YEAR MOSAIC

AMERICAN DIGEST

ANDREA TANTAROS

ANDREW BREITBART

ANDREW KLAVAN

ANN COULTER

ARTEMISRETREIVER

BERNARD GOLDBERG

TOTUS

BLOGPROF

CAL THOMAS

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER

DANA ROHRBACH

DANIEL HENNINGER

DAVID HOROWITZ

DENNIS MILLER

Dewey From Detroit

DICK CHENEY

DOUG ROSS JOURNAL

DR SANITY

DUNCAN HUNTER

Dutch Tourist Hero – Jasper Schuringa

FRANK BECKMANN

FRED THOMPSON

GEORGE WILL

GLENN BECK

GREG GUTFELD

GWB

HANNAH GILES

Hillbuzz

JAMES O’KEEFE

JC WATTS

JOHN FUND

JON VOIGHT

JONAH GOLDBERG

LARRY ELDER

LAURA INGRAHAM

LEGAL INSURRECTION

LIBERTY BELL

LIZ CHENEY

LYNNE CHENEY

MARK LEVIN

MARK STEYN

MATT DRUDGE

MICHAEL SAVAGE

MICHELLE BACHMAN

MICHELLE MALKIN

MIKE PENCE

MIKE ROGERS

MITT ROMNEY

MONICA CROWLEY

MOTOR CITY TIMES

ME-NO LINK: YOU’RE HERE

NEIL BOORTZ

Neoneocon

OLIVER NORTH

PAM GELLER

Pundit & Pundette

RATIONAL JINGO

RON PAUL

RUDY GIULIANI

RUSH LIMBAUGH

SARAH PALIN

S E BRODAN

S E CUPP

SEAN HANNITY

SHELBY STEELE

SMALL DEAD ANIMALS

SMART GIRL POLITICS

STEVE CROWDER

TAMMY BRUCE

THADDEUS MCCOTTER

THOMAS SOWELL

TOUCHED WITH FIRE

VICTOR DAVIS HANSON

WALTER WILLIAMS

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Snark Hall of Fame

Snark: A combination of the words “snide” and “remark”, is often defined as biting, cruel humor or wit, often combined with cynicism and bitchiness to attack someone or something. Most often found in the blogging community on the internet.

Here, on this page, we honor the best of snark form the blogging community. The kings and queens of snark. The winners of the coveted “Golden FLOTUS”.

mrs p-final-updated copy

Mrs. P

 

chiron-final-updated

chiron

 

madame defarge-final-updated

Madame DeFarge aka AnnieCarmel

 

 

bettyann-final-updated

bettyann

 

Funky Town-final-updated

Funky Town

 

vereteno-final-updated

vereteno

 

gerard-final-updated

Gerard

 

Portia ElizabethGF-final

PortiaElizabeth

 

arabella trefoil GF-final

arabella trefoil

 

cripes suzette-GF-9 copy

Cripes Suzette

 

srdem GF copy

 srdem65

 

Janet-GF

Janet

 

run4fun53-GF

run4fun53

MOTUS TRUTH TEAM

MOTUS Truth Team 3D-290_thumb[2]

Welcome MOTUS Truth Team Storm Troopers, future volunteers, curious visitors and even more curious Obot truthers! If you would like to volunteer for service as a MOTUS Truth Team Storm Trooper, you have come to the right place. Just between you and me, it might be a good idea to volunteer as a MOTUS Truth Team StormTrooper before Big Guy finishes his Selective Service conscription initiative that will require Obama Truth Team service from all American adults. MOTUS Truth Team StormTroopers get an exemption.

Ok, so you’ve decided to volunteer and want to know how. It’s easy as pie. Just take the MOTUS Truth Team Pledge, then, when you “See Something”, scamper over to this page and “Say Something.” It’s that simple: “SS”

MOTUS Truth Team Pledge

I pledge

to vote for

CHANGE!

That’s it. No forms to fill out or checks to write like at Plouffe-Daddy’s Truth Team. And you even take the pledge on the honor system. As a MOTUS Truth Team Storm Trooper, you are entitled to download and use you own personal “MOTUS Truth Team” badge.

Butt MOTUS, where do I get my “MOTUS Truth Team” badge? Right at the bottom of this page!

Remember, if you SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING!

CHOOSE & CLICK ON THE CATEGORY OF YOUR REPORT

ATTACK WATCH

KEEPING GOP HONESTKEEPING HIS WORD

Get your official, “MOTUS Truth Team” badge right here:

MOTUS Truth Team 3D-500_thumb[2]

500 pixels

MOTUS Truth Team 3D-250_thumb[2]

250 pixels

MOTUS Truth Team 3D-150_thumb[1]

150 pixels

MOTUS Truth Team: KeepingHisWord

KEEPING HIS WORD

Welcome to MOTUS Truth Team’s KeepingHisWord Page

Here you can report how Big Guy has kept all his promises to America.

MOTUS Truth Team: KeepingGOPHonest

KEEPING GOP HONEST


Welcome to MOTUS Truth Team’s KeepingGOPHonest Page

Here you can report all the GOP’s lies (and damn lies).

MOTUS Truth Team: AttackWatch

ATTACK WATCH


Welcome to MOTUS Truth Team’s AttackWatch Page


Here you can report the vicious, racist attacks on Big Guy and Lady M.

This is my favorite won!



On Demand Streaming: WTF Theater

This is the home of Dewey From Detroit's, flatsimile studio On-Demand streaming of the new, critically aclaimed series: WTF Theater, brought to you by GE: Imagination At Work Click on any episode to play it whenever you like. It's On-Demand!
 
Episode 5: A Whimsical Notion
Episode 4: Living Within Our Means
Episode 3: Down With the Struggle
Episode 2: Valentine's Day
Episode 1: High Speed Wireless Train Station
Pilot Episode: Win The Future

“Don’t Go Dare Wid Me”: Reprised

So, I have been a big fan of grizzled old urban cowboy, radio and cable TeeVee guy, Don Imus for many moons. I first learned about him from my BBB (Best Blogging Buddy) Dewey From Detroit.

imus

A little background for those of you who aren’t familiar with Imus. The I-Man, as his little people call him, is a big time multiple Marconi winning shock jock. His radio show was simulcast on Ms.NBC, until he was canned by both the PC Police at Ms.NBC and CBS (his radio syndicator).

39572-think_don_imus_right_now

The I-Man was reborn at WABC and simulcast on RFDTV, briefly, and now is on Rude Rupert’s Fox ‘Bidness’ Channel. 

In his Ms.NBC days, the I-Man had a deal with AOL to read, on the air, Instant Messages (IM) sent to him by viewers. Dewey’s - now internationally famous - internet/media empire was launched when the I-Man read Dewey’s plan to help Bin Laden RIH (Rest In Hell) obtain a nuclear weapon:

That was followed up with Dewey breaking into the field of political commentary, during the 2004 Presidential campaign, with this:

Man, I-Dude really could use a teleprompter.

Ok, so I know you are beginning to wonder where I’m going with this, aren’t you? Well, I’m not sure yet. Butt it started when Dewey asked me if my hard drive had a copy of an audio clip of NBA star Allen Iverson’s mom, Ann, getting’ in somebody’s face.

ann averson

 

Allen-Iverson-sportsTattoos-family-Pictures

It seems, Dewey heard the I-Man ask if anybody could find this clip, which he apparently lost in one of his moves. Being a dedicated public servant, I jumped into action.

My first scan came up empty, butt I was not deterred. I finally found it hiding in a folder marked for “sourcing.” Apparently, my pattern matching software thought that it was either Lady M, in her LaVaughn mode, or possibly GrannyR.

angry_michelle_obama

I’m glad we cleared that up. I now have it filed & sourced correctly and post it here for the I-Man and everybody else in the whole world to enjoy. I think you’ll see why my software was confused.

Ann Iverson: “don’t go dare wid me”

Sunday, March 29, 2009

MOTUS: The Bio

If you’re going to be a regular visitor, and you're a taxpayer, I think you have a right to know a few things about me. Here’s my Curriculum Vitae:

I am a fraternal twin (female). My brother (Hub) is the mirror in the Hubble telescope.

We are Cassegrain reflectors of Ritchey-Chretien design, and were conceived in 1979 at the Corning New York factory when 2 conjoined blanks of ultra-low expansion glass were sandwiched around a honeycomb lattice. (I didn’t mean to get into the sex stuff, but a lot of people are curious.) Our polishing was completed in May of 1981. I know that seems a long gestation, but keep in mind that we were specified for reflectivity in the ultraviolet range which means that we had to be polished to an accuracy of 10 nanometers, or about 1/65th the wavelength of red light! So don’t even think about telling me that I don’t see it all.


At the end of 1981 we were given a post-delivery wash in 2400 gallons of hot, deionized water and a 65 nanometer thick reflective coating of aluminum followed by a 25 nanometer protective coating of magnesium fluoride.

As with people, there is a rancorous philosophical dispute as to when a blank piece of glass becomes a mirror: Some say at conception, but others steadfastly maintain that it isn’t until it’s polished. I’ll share my thoughts on that debate at some future date. Like maybe the next time we have a Republican in the White House.

At the conclusion of 1981, Hub shipped off for outer space and I, being a girl, was sent to the Smithsonian’s Fashion Hall to learn a trade. I was there only a short while. When they found out I was Hub’s sister I was reassigned to the White House. As you’ve probably heard, in Washington it’s not what you know, it’s who you know.

My first FLOTUS was, of course, Nancy Reagan. Talk about a girl with style! I learned a thing or two from her that they didn’t even know about at the Smithsonian. And in turn, my highly accurate reflections helped her hone her look as well. The only disagreement we had in 8 years was about that astrologer friend of hers. I could spot a phony a mile away. Besides, if all she wanted was a glimpse into the future, I could have provided a crystal clear picture, and Hub could’ve handled that whole time/space issue. Frankly, I don’t think she really wanted to know. Who could blame her?

Those were 8 good years for me. And the country. America was that “shining city on a hill”, and we all dressed like grownups. Elegant grownups. The next 20 years – not so much.

Barbara Bush was a swell lady, but she made the room smell like my grandma’s house. And honestly, she didn’t use me that much. I used the time to practice with my trans, hyper and quantum imaging systems.

When Hillary moved in, she had my legs lengthened so she couldn’t see her cankles. She didn’t use me a lot more than Barbara did, except when she wanted to channel Eleanor Roosevelt. Whooo! I could tell you stories! I used to tell her, “Hill, if you want to channel first ladies, how about Jackie?” She always gave me a hard stare and icily reminded me that Jackie O was not dead yet. She missed the whole point.

Laura was certainly an improvement over the previous 2, but, well, she was a librarian. And W was a cowboy. I think you get the picture. It wasn’t awful, but certainly no Parisian salon. At least Laura had my legs lowered to their original height.

And now – happy days are here again! I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure about this team at first. That whole thing about wanting Lady M’s reflections to look good at all times, even if it meant I had to resort to major league distortion – it made me hazy for a few days. But then one day, I got it! It’s just like all the other hopey-changey stuff. This wouldn’t be fashion treason: it’s just my role in the extended Washington run of the Emperor’s New Clothes. When their gig is up, I can just restore all my old programs. I’m pretty sure about that anyway. And I’ll confess, the positive feedback from the MSM is pretty heady stuff: “Fashion Forward,” “Fashion Icon” ! Wow, even Nancy never got accolades like that.

So good bye Wranglers. Hello Narcisco Rodriguez! Let the refraction begin.

Well, I think that’s enough history. Check out my Blog(link) from time to time and read my reflections. You won’t get them from the MSM, honey.

  MOTUS-ICON-BLUE FRAME-EMPTY-300



Meet MOTUS to the FLOTUS

Hello.

Let me introduce myself. My official title is “Mirror Of The United States, to the First Lady Of The United States.” But now that the O’s are here, we’re more egalitarian and have dropped all that formal protocol crap. So Lady M just calls me MOTUS.

It’s perfect. It contains her initials, which she gets a kick out of because we call her MO, but she also thinks it makes me sound, well, smarter - like I studied Latin at Princeton or something. To be honest, none of the other First Ladies called me anything. But then, none of them had a fulltime posse dedicated to creating a “transformational presidency” either.

Now that BO’s in charge, everyone here at Big White (that’s what we call the White House now) is expected to have their own role on the “Transformation” Team. For example, Rahmbo – that cute little cuddly guy that carries steel balls around in his pocket – he’s responsible for transforming the country into a socialist Mecca. I was hoping for something more like France, but I’m afraid he’s going for something along the lines of California. But I digress: MY job is to transform MO into a fashion icon.

Like my soul mate, TOTUS (Teleprompter Of The United States), I have a very demanding job. While TOTUS makes Barry (that’s what we call him in the family quarters) sound smart; I make MO look sharp. Since the First Couple is very tuned into such things as rhetoric, alliteration and reflective glory, it all works really well for them.

You’ll hear the MSM blah-blahing all over the place about how smart these two are. I don’t know about that, but I can tell you they are sooo totally Hollywood! I mean that in a good way of course. It’s never been so exciting to be part of history– not even with the Clintons.

But back to my job: making MO appear to be a fashionista with that keister of hers isn’t just a simple Photoshop tweak. I know I’m no ordinary mirror. I’m a DOD*/NASA digital reimaging system, sandwiched into a Cassegrain mirror matrix. I’ve got a gazillion bytes of nerd-tech miracles under my glass. But still. I was really feeling down last January when I got a call from my cousin, Earle, who’s a funhouse mirror in Paducah. He gave me a little pep talk; he told me that transforming peoples images (especially the POTUS and FLOTUS) provides a much needed national service, can be very fulfilling as well as a lot of fun too.

So, even though I had always prided myself on the accuracy of my reflectivity, I started running the new “transfomative” software and things haven’t been the same since. I have to admit, it seems to make MO really happy – being transformed this way. And the MSM? They just can’t stop with the “fashion icon”, “fashion forward,” “toned arms,” “chic” and “brave choices” kudos. That last one – “brave” – worries me a little, in the fashion sense of the term. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ve definitely gotten into my new role. After we did this spread for the New Yorker featuring Lady M (she likes that nomenclature, makes her feel royal) I wake up feeling all hopey-changey and can’t wait to see what we have to work with.

It did take awhile to get my quantum matrix adjusted so that it worked correctly no matter what that girl put on in the morning. I’m not complaining though. That’s what I’m here for. It’s just that I never had to put in so much over time with the other first ladies. I did get some great coaching from Gibbsy, BO’s press handler. He’s got tons of experience with the MSM, trying to make Big Guy look good. He told me to practice slimming my images, and suggested that I try channeling “Jackie” when I’m projecting MO. Apparently both MO and the MSM really like that whole Camelot thing.

Despite what you might read about a book deal, the only reason I’m going public is because of all the hateful things I’ve seen and heard being whispered behind Michelle’s backside (ample, I’ll concede – but we’ll talk about that later). You know what I’m talking about: those catty comments accusing MO of not owning a full length mirror. Meoww! Not only has she got a full length mirror, she has MOTUS! My state-of-the-art trans-imaging, hyper-imaging and quantum-imaging photons allow me to make anyone, and I mean anyone, look mahvelous, dahling. Within reason, of course: I’m state of the art, not God.

I’ll grant you that there have been a couple missteps early on, still, nothing that crossed over into Joe Biden misstep territory. And nothing a different camera angle couldn’t have taken care of. We’re still working out a few “bumps.”

I probably shouldn’t take mean-spirited trash-talk so personally. But you work your (or in my case, MO’s) butt off, and all you hear is “What the eff was she thinking when she put that on!” and “Doesn’t she own a full length mirror!” Apparently there is a contingent of right wing nut balls out there bent on speaking the truth, no matter who gets hurt. What’s wrong with those people? Don’t they know that we have a new Emperor and Empress? Can’t they see their new clothes? Don’t they get it that at the end of the day, artifice and illusion is all we have to offer?

So, until such time as this rightwing fashion hysteria abates, I’ll be blogging here on all things Big White House fashion related. And with these two, that covers just about everything.

Come back tomorrow to read my official biography, and shoe shopping with Lady M in Rome. As close to heaven as we’re likely to ever get around here.

* that’s “Department of Defense” for you clueless fashion mavens