The polls are closed, the results are in and it was “Ladies Night”! Here, in the biggest, most important contest of this first “Super Tuesday” of 2010 the winner is :
PortiaElizabeth
Joining PortiaElizabeth in the winner’s circle, but without the coveted Golden FLOTUS, are: Republican winners Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle, Nikki Haley and Democrat Blanche Lincoln, Congratulations ladies!
Congratulations PortiaElizabeth!!! You have won the fame and ovation of millions of MOLs and FOMs around the world and a permanent place in my Snark Hall of Fame.
PortiaElizabeth’s winning snark: “I don't know about the rest of you, but I sit up and take notice when Al Franken and Jeanene Garafolo shake their fingers at me. And then I return the favor with a helpful hand gesture of my own.” carried the day and achieved snark immortality.
The cherished Golden FLOTUS is now yours forever, to use and display as you wish.
It was a tight race with over 3 million votes cast. PortiaElizabeth Took the lead early Tuesday and held it to the end, beating back a possible runoff with Suzette. Congratulations to srdem on her decision to withdraw from the election and accept a generous “unpaid advisory” position. Toes will be in touch. Finally, congratulations to all the “runners up” and all my loyal, snarky MOLs and MODs. You are all winners in my book, even if you don’t all get a statue.
For the record, the final vote count was certified by Toes after review of the audited results by the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe. The results (rounded to the nearest thousand) were as follows:
- PortiaElizabeth – 540,000
- Suzette – 500,000
- MJ – 480,000
- Moright – 280,000
- Madame De Farge – 220,000
- Labwriter / Sine Qua Non – 190,000 / 190,000
- Florida Girl – 180,000
- bettyann – 140,000
- Don Rodrigo – 130,000
- Janice / srdem65 – 120,000 / 120,000
- Cinderella – 90,000
Posts
Congrats to PortiaElizabeth! Snark on!
ReplyDeleteJust moments ago, I spoke with PortiaElizabeth and congratulated her on becoming the 7th winner of the coveted Golden Flotus. This isn't exactly the party I'd planned, but I sure like the company. Thank you and God bless America.
ReplyDeletesrdem:
ReplyDeleteSnark on indeed!
Suzette:
What a lovely and gracious thing to do. I can only guess how devastated you must feel today and how hard it must have been to hold back the tears and make that call.
Not many contestants, especially after such a close race, would call to congratulate the person who just kicked their butt!
Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteSnarks Forever!
OMG! OMG! I can't believe it! I mean I knew I was going to hell, but with such wonderfully witty company, I never even dreamed of a Golden FLOTUS! This just goes to show that in America any girl with an attitude and a history of getting sent to study-hall detention can achieve the impossible. I want to thank MOTUS, Raj, little Mo and all the brilliant MOLs and MODs. (It would be courteous to thank MO as well, but I'm not that polite.)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, PortiaElizabeth on winning the Golden FLOTUS! Your winning snark was lol funny.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS
Thanks for the nomination. It was an honor to be included. Now that the voting is over, all those people from SEIU and ACORN can take their picket signs and get off my front lawn!
MJ
PortiaElizabeth:
ReplyDeleteYou soooo deserve your coveted Golden FLOTUS. Your acceptance was heartfelt and gracious. We all owe our success to Lady M and Big Guy. Without them, we probably would have nothing to snark about other than NanPo and the other legiweasels in the House and Senate.
Now, you can see Golden FLOTUS from your house!
MJ:
Are they still there? Toes promised he’d call off the dogs when the polls were closed.
I am honored to have you snarking so snarkily on my little blog. I know how important it is to laugh at least once each day, and you and all my MOLs and MODs make me laugh every day. It makes it all worthwhile, although, a raise from Big Guy wouldn’t hurt.
Yes! Portia Elizabeth...and I did vote for you the Chicago way...many, many times. It was a hard choice between you, Suzette and moright but in the end, I thought your loyalty to MOTUS tipped the scales.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS, I have forgotten the past winners...chiron, bettyann, myself and the other 3 are? I don't want to vote twice for the same candidate. We have to spread the wealth around, right?
Oh thank you so much for all the kind words! My husband reminded me that I forgot to thank the little people, so may I just say a big thanks to the Mayor of Munchkinland, Gary Coleman (may he rest in peace!), and of course Rahm Emanuel. I need to also thank all the lovely lovely MOLs and MODs (hi, Suzette and Madame D.), who graciously stepped aside after I elbowed them, I mean after they agreed to accept posts in the current administration in an unpaid capacity. I also need to give a shout out to Sarah Palin for NOT endorsing one of my competitors and, thus ensuring their victory.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS -- is it possible to order a mug with my award on it?
Madame:
ReplyDeleteMrs. P, Funky Town, Gerard and now PortiaElizabeth and the lifetime achievement award to vereteno.
BTW, all internationally famous winners of the coveted Golden FLOTUS are forever enshrined in my Snark Hall Of Fame. It can be accessed 24/7 by clicking on the little Golden Flotus replica over there in my sidebar.
Portia:
It certainly is possible! I was going to order a sample with the Golden Flotus to make sure it translated well to products (it's kind of a complicated image with multiple photoshop filters). Then Lady M started all kinds of new programs and I forgot. I'll do it this week and report back with the results pronto.