Wednesday, June 9, 2010

When Snarks Attack 7: The Winner

The polls are closed, the results are in and it was “Ladies Night”! Here, in the biggest, most important contest of this first “Super Tuesday” of 2010 the winner is :


Joining PortiaElizabeth in the winner’s circle, but without the coveted Golden FLOTUS, are: Republican winners Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Sharron Angle, Nikki Haley and Democrat Blanche Lincoln, Congratulations ladies!

Congratulations PortiaElizabeth!!! You have won the fame and ovation of millions of MOLs and FOMs around the world and a permanent place in my Snark Hall of Fame.

PortiaElizabeth’s winning snark: “I don't know about the rest of you, but I sit up and take notice when Al Franken and Jeanene Garafolo shake their fingers at me. And then I return the favor with a helpful hand gesture of my own.” carried the day and achieved snark immortality.

The cherished Golden FLOTUS is now yours forever, to use and display as you wish.

Portia ElizabethGF-final

It was a tight race with over 3 million votes cast. PortiaElizabeth Took the lead early Tuesday and held it to the end, beating back a possible runoff with Suzette. Congratulations to srdem on her decision to withdraw from the election and accept a generous “unpaid advisory” position. Toes will be in touch. Finally, congratulations to all the “runners up” and all my loyal, snarky MOLs and MODs. You are all winners in my book, even if you don’t all get a statue.

For the record, the final vote count was certified by Toes after review of the audited results by the accounting firm of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe. The results (rounded to the nearest thousand) were as follows:

  1. PortiaElizabeth – 540,000
  2. Suzette – 500,000
  3. MJ – 480,000
  4. Moright – 280,000
  5. Madame De Farge – 220,000
  6. Labwriter / Sine Qua Non – 190,000 / 190,000
  7. Florida Girl – 180,000
  8. bettyann – 140,000
  9. Don Rodrigo – 130,000
  10. Janice / srdem65 – 120,000 / 120,000
  11. Cinderella – 90,000